It's as simple as this, the cash budgetted for oil subsidy should be used to revive the refineries, but instead, these baboons built their personal refineries outside the country, send our raw petroleum there and get their pay in crude oil, then send the stupid remainder back to us to purchase at a higher price.

They say we do not have enough power to support industries in Nigeria, Are there more industries there than we have in the US/China/Germany or Even Taiwan? All the major companies are gradually shifting their HQs to Ghana all cos of cost of diesel and the baboons here are busy importing Generators and distributing diesel at breakneck prices.

They say our refineries cannot cater for our needs, does that mean we are hopeless? will other developed countries say the same?

They always let us know the only solution is to SUFFER and Nigerians have learnt to drill a hole in the wall when pushed to it, they'll never retaliate, thank God i'm a lagosian and not a Nigerian


STUPID BABOONS, pack your bags and go so your new boys can come in and SUCK MORE outta us. God Punish una.

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

I'd rather watch paints dry why south africa again?

After a long period of silence an Igbo guy phones his good pal and the following conversation ensued, Chike: Nna, How now??, long tam no see you! Chidi: Nna, I just dey o. Wetin dey happen now ? Chike: I jus dey, Ah beg, I need your hep for sontin, Chidi: (grumbles) Na wetin? Chike: Ah won borrow small money from una Chidi: Hello? Hello? I can't hear u well o Chike: I say ah need small money from una Chidi: Hello? Hello? , this line no clear o, Chike: (yelling into the phone) Ah say come borrow me small money abeg! Chidi: Hello? Hello??, I still can not hear you! (The phone operator now butts in) He said he wants you to borrow him money! Chidi: NNA YOU WEY HEAR AM WELL GIVE AM THE MONEY NOW! (foolish operator shiooo, )

Talk of fuel economy, talk of the Toyota Echo, any day anytime. Honda City too cos of the Engine size.

Hybrids are already in Nigeria, Accord, Maxima and Camry are the leaders followed by Civic, presently the Civic has been reported to have the best mileage in Lagos. Toyota Prius is next and VW Jetta 2000 also.

Golf and Polo are also very efficient and Corolla, from 2001 upwards have been the most reliable, that's why most banks prefer to have them and lately Rio has also been efficient.

Prado Jeep is also one of the most reliable here in Lag, since 2003.



Some dude said Volvo 740? That's even better, go get an old Range Rover if you have nothing to do with money, na there you go hear am.

Terrorist in what sense? religious terrorist or the other "*****" terrorist? Break it down please

@ Gbade,

Elajoe took the last part right? But sorry to say his style did not align with the soundtrack or maybe it was his pace, Modey was way more commanding. I like it when a rapper commands the lyrics.

I'm signing 10!

another one is with www.mig33.com

Here's another one: FreeSms

Haven't you guys heard of American Juju or British Fuji? ptttiiiiuuuuuu

No matter what language or intention, hip hop remains the same be it gospel or hebrew or spanish or whatever.

I should do a song with 9ice someday, dude's way way creative, and someone please tell me why Tuface is now tryna sing Nate's style, the industry's most captivating voice cannot be replicated, somebody please warn him

Jimmy jatt, mode 9 and tuface really hit that track hard.

Youssou N'Dour : France 98 Theme Song, Diallo with Wyclef, has featured with other foreign artistes including Carlos Santana

Tuface: Phat Girlz' Soundtrack, Proud to be African with Wyclef, fastest rising in popularity and one of the most sought after voices since "Omode meta nsere by tetuila"

Akon: Ghetto/sensual in concept, Featured in tracks with countless artistes including Rasheeda,Tupac, Biggy, Snoop and co, more popular outside Africa.

I'll go for Youssou anytime, If you've seen Femi Kuti at the peak of his voice or Olori Oko by infinity, you should have a clue. What bout you?


Pictures Please . . . . .

@ Topic,

Are you a policeman, a PHCN officer, a NITEL officer or a Lecturer? cos 101% of those are corrupt and they aren't all Nigerians

@ Ndipe,

You are right man, what's the purpose of stacking money up for the next generation to spend? Obviously scounderels are people who live on other people's sweat so why not enjoy your cash while you are alive. We all gotta die and the money doesn't die with us, we all know that, so if you've ammassed some wealth and you can't spend, some baboon somewhere will help you out.

If you can't buy a Kia Rio, some baboon of a child or relative will help you buy a Maybach with it when you are gone.

Chikena.

Your boss should take even more for himself! Nigerians are good at creating a hole in the wall even when you press them to it (they'll manage). Yes! Next time yahoo boys demand for their money ask them if they can handle OBJ

Integrated Online Payment Websites in Nigeria

At one time or the other you may have come across a payment page on a nigerian website requesting for your Debit Card details such as Card number, Expiry date and PIN. Kindly give the name(s) of such websites and mention their core business line for the benefit of others. The most popular Debit Card Providers are Interswitch and Quickcash.

1. Smslive247.com (online sms, text messages)
2. Computerport.biz or buyright.com (online sales of electronics with free shipping/ door delivery)
3. rechargenigeria.com and prepaidnigeria.com (recharge cards for GSM and some fixed wireless providers)
4. flyaero.com (accepts online booking for all flights even on the same day)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Crazykid,

Your name nor be coincidence at all

Thanks for these jokes Marlet

Do you know there are some places you can't go if you don't have "big jeeps" or "sleek cars"?

Your typo car sometimes determine the kinda contract you get. Your car may be an investment depending on the way you look at it. Having a fleet of cars may not be an investment but having one good one is surely important.

A lil to start with!

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought,
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids,
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had
remembered.

I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day,
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?"

I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing
"Happy
Birthday.

And I just sat there,

On the couch,

Naked.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought,
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids,
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had
remembered.

I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day,
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?"

I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing
"Happy
Birthday.

And I just sat there,

On the couch,

Naked.

girls' talk. who cares!

That's not all, you can get 6 free sms(es) from www.callwave.com/sms

Also you can get more sms credits from Smscity by refering your friends to the site for free.

Don't know much about sms.ac.

Thank God no one's talking bout Mobile phones!


For a unilag undergraduate, i don't think a car is a liability, it's a great asset In OSu, it's a requirement to get greater liabilissets (called Kokolets)

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy"
at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then
watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are
employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and
I'll send you the application to fill in as well as
date when you may start". The man replied "But I don't
have a computer, neither an email." "I'm sorry",
said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that
means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot
have the job." The man left with no hope at all. He
didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a
10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door
to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to
double his capital. He repeated the operation three
times, and returned home with $60. The man realized
that he can survive by this way and started to go
everyday earlier and return late. Thus, his money
doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly, he bought a
cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of
delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of
the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to
plan his family's future and decided to have a life
insurance. He called an insurance broker and chose a
protection plan. When the conversation was concluded,
the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I
don't have an email". The broker answered curiously,
"You don't have an email and yet have succeeded to
build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have
been if you had an email?!! "The man thought for a
while and replied,"Yes, I'd would have been an office
boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:
Internet/email is not the solution to your life.
If you don't have internet/email and work hard, you
can be a millionaire.
If you received this message by email, you
are probably already an office boy/girl and not any
close to being a Billionaire,
P.S - Do not forward this email back to me,
I'm closing my email and going to sell tomatoes!!!!!!
Have a glory filled day & remain blessed.

Like me

I just voted for d most popular name there before even getting to see that they had some exhibition down the page. Sowwwy o but i aint changing my vote even if i can!

Any seniorita(wannabee) in d house

Format your PC daily  

IBB Fan:

@Xtino
apparently, i have forgiven but not forgiven. i was chatting with Osewa like an hour ago and told him if i can't have IBB without the "Fan", then i'd like to add an extra B (which stands for my english name), thereby extending my initials and making it look unlike the ex-military president's. he told he was going to think about it (thinking since last week) and after much pressure, he said he was going ahead to get it done. next thing, he said i'd been threatening him and so, i need to apologise. i asked him when i threatened and he logged out.

bottomline: i have NOT forgotten. how would you feel if your name got changed to Xtino Fan?

I won't find it funny. I'm a celebrity too!

This kind agro is serious o.