₦airaland Forum

What kind of foolishness is this? How can I kneel down with two knees in front of a lady in public to propose or even beg? This guy fall hand sha. I can be anything behind closed doors to a woman I love but definitely can't stoop this low in public.

On my airtel line, I used 30GB.

implementing:
Just pray it doesn't reach there else we're all bleeped, the north takes the south for granted all the time cos we're the ones stopping most of these things from reaching there, if it was the other way round.....

Exactly. It would be very disastrous.

@OP, you beat me to this topic. Been itching to ask it since morning.

What exactly is the Nigerian government's plan to curtail the spread of corona virus to the north where they have a very poor and low hygiene standards? These people handle a large percentage of the food we consume in Nigeria and if this virus spreads to these traders who supply foodstuffs to various parts of the country, Nigeria and Nigerians are doomed. Government couldn't act in time to prevent it from entering the country but needs to act fast to prevent it from spreading to the north to avoid an pandemic that has the capacity to spread real fast round the country and wiping out a large percentage of the population. Someone should call the attention of the government and the ministry of health to this as soon as possible.

Moderators should kindly push this to the front page where someone who is involved can see it. We need to call the attention of the government to this and act real quick.

Bervelyhillz:
This is a bit long but please bear with me.

I’ve been married to my amazingly beautiful wife for 3 years. The problem is she is very shy around me but at the same time seems to try to secretly please me constantly. It leaves me feeling guilty and I’m not sure of what to do next.

Backstory:

I met her through my mom. My MIL and my mom are childhood friends who grew up together. I never met her at the time since I lived in the US while She was in Nigeria. When I was 20 I saw her in a family friend’s wedding album. I was floored and my eyes were watering. She was the most attractive girl I had ever seen.

I figured out her FB and messaged her since I didn't want to initiate contact through our moms. I struck up a conversation. I soon realized that my mom fed info about me to my MIL which in turn got fed to her , so she already knew a fair bit about me. We chatted constantly, met up on my vacation to Nigeria , and hung out together every day. I learn she is still a virgin saving herself for marriage. I was still one too, mostly because A) I was chubby most of my life and didn't dare go near girls in that state and B) when I did start getting more fit, I already fell in love with her and it felt wrong dating at the same time. So yeah we had that in common.

Skipping ahead again to three years ago when I graduated from grad school. We met up a handful of times more, and things were awesome. She was outgoing with me, giggling over almost nothing and general silliness. We never did anything sexual, but we were intimate enough and honestly seeing her gave me goosebumps, so it wasn't on my mind. On one visit to Nigeria, she brought up the topic of marriage in a joking manner, something about how our mom's always planned it. I jokingly replied that I would be happy to marry her, then she got all serious and asked if I was for real. I said yes and, well, the rest is history.

The problem:

We had our wedding in Nigeria and, after the papers got sorted, she moved to the US to live with me. The first few months were interesting. She knows English pretty well and she majored in her native language, so she looked for translation jobs. She never got replies from employers, so I was getting a little suspicious, especially since she was an honors student at a pretty high ranking international university. I found out that she wasn't actually sending the applications out. I bring this up gently with her, and she starts tearing a bit telling me she wants to be a stay at home wife and that she didn't think I would be proud of her if she didn't get a real job. She says she was going to tell me soon, which I believe because I found a recent word document in our computer that was basically a draft of the speech she was going to give me. I don't mind her staying at home as I bring in enough money for the both of us and she is a really good cook.

This prompted me to sit down with her and figure out where our communication is breaking down. After a bunch of long discussions about this, I felt we were on the same page. She was still growing more timid around me and didn't start conversations easily with me, but she always seemed happy. I stepped up my displays of affection, showering her with compliments, hugs, and kisses. I would often catch her staring at me (usually while we ate), to which she would get red-faced and look away quickly. It’s been 3 years now and still does the smiling stare, except now she doesn’t look away when I catch her. The conversation starting has gotten a bit better, but nowhere near pre-marriage. While she always had this quiet peacefulness to her, I noticed she is intentionally not doing things that might get me worked up. Examples being: discussing politics (we have the same views), discussing my work problems, discussing anything philosophical in nature, etc. She will respond if I start, but she doesn’t take the initiative like before. I really miss that.

The sex is...interesting? As I said before, I didn't have any prior experience so I can't judge her, but she just lays on the bed and doesn’t move until I suggest to. She never initiates but never declines. I try to make it about her more often than not, but if I’m looking for feedback she quietly agrees with whatever I'm doing. After we finish, she lays in the same position looking at me, sometimes smiling, sometimes teary-eyed. I take it she likes it, but then again she never likes to talk about sex. From what I gather in our pre-marriage talks, she doesn't have any negative views on it and it wasn't shunned by her parents, it's just that she is shy. She doesn't like me seeing her naked even though I do (ha ha...:/ ). She is…shy very well proportioned…and I tell her how it is so she shouldn’t feel self-conscious. But she still covers up outside of sex.

Another issue is fitness: I work out constantly at home or in the park (calisthenics) and I invite her to join but she politely declines. She runs almost every morning so I thought maybe she gets enough from that. But I have noticed that my weight backpack at home is sometimes at a different weight than when I left it. I have also noticed She has made some serious butt/thigh gains which really stand out on her thin frame. When I ask if she is doing anything differently, she says “maybe it’s the running” then changes the subject. I don’t understand why she is working out in secret. This is most likely my fault though since I used to try and tease her into working out with me; I made a silly remark about how squatting/ham-raises will put more meat on her legs.

Conclusion:

Guys and gals, I need help. I love my wife dearly. She is funnier than any comedian, more disciplined than any soldier, and more beautiful than any celebrity. But she is making me feel weird by trying to secretly improve herself based on my preferences. Her shyness around me is awkward and I want a return to the easy-going pre-marriage . Has anyone had experience with this?

Also: she has made many friends here and still is in contact with a few back home. However she doesn't seem excited to be around them as much as when I offer to go out with her. She's always offers to cancel plans to stay in with me or go for a walk. I thought she might be depressed, but she is super cheerful even when she doesn't know I'm around.

All I can say to you is gerarahia mehn!!! Where or what exactly is the problem?

Govt should have placed a ban on air travels to and from all countries with record of the virus and place entry restrictions on citizens from these countries for a period of time. I just hope this outbreak doesn't wipe half the population of this country.

Hmm. I hope this isn't one of the many press releases that the government makes but never follows through. As Nigerians, we are just a problem to ourselves. A deadly virus hits the world and instead of us thinking of how to protect our race, all we are concerned about is how to make brisk business and make quick money. This is the result of greed and poverty that has been inculcated into the society over a period of time and has come to stay.

Hmm. The Nigerian government should ban flights coming from countries where people have tested positive to the virus.

Lord have mercy

Funtobewith:
Uncle is it not the same thing
he was shot cus he broke the quaratine rule thereby putting the general public at risk.
that foolish deed of his would have cost the lives of hundred
Abi u are the one who doesnt understand phrase synonyms

That is exactly what I'm saying.

People who can't read and comprehend what they read, are busy typing rubbish. He wasn't shot for contacting the virus. He was shot for deliberately breaking the quarantine rules where he was put, and going to a public bathroom where he could possibly infect others.

Don't know how jinxed one can be as an arsenal fan. If Arsenal can't kill me, nobody can. LMAO.

elguaje:
you must be a handsome guy to know all this

It's the curse we have to live with. Relationships are usually a problem for us especially when it has to be with us dating extremely pretty ladies.

People wey de owe banks millions, dem never come abduct/kidnap us, na person wey owe 21,000 naira dem de abduct. Poverty na bad thing sha...

Kizzygentle:
Girls don't date handsome boys. They just admire them and it ends there. Some may just wanna bleep d guy and it ends there. They have issues of getting a serious gf.

Exactly.

Sometimes, they end up with average looking girls cos the very pretty ones run away from them for fear of being jilted. Most handsome guys don't really date the prettiest girls cos for both of them, their looks is a curse to them. They tend to form for each other and eventually don't end up with lasting relationships cos they both see themselves as too hot to bend backwards for the other. Ugly looking men usually have more confidence to approach the prettiest girls cos they have nothing to lose. A fine boy might not approach a very pretty lady cos he doesn't want his ego bruised if she says no.

lobatan.

When will people like us have money to go visit and experience the thrill of oniru and moist beach? Baba God, when?

My elder sister is always having a go at my mom anytime she sends a forwarded message on whatsapp...lol.

MusaChukwudi:
You have personal issues jare! Abeg .....

Go and change your mindset ....or kill yourself because 1 human being decides to ffck another. One day you will understand women.

You're pretty slow upstairs. Kindly fvck off my mentions dude. Have a nice evening by the way. Peace.

MusaChukwudi:
If you tie your self worth to the actions of your loose wife or galfriend.

Never tie your self wort and self esteem to another human being. Never!

If somebody bleeps my wife it automatically means she was never my wife, fullstop.

Alaye, pls go and develop your own mind. Never tie your happiness to the actions or demeanour of any woman!!!!

A woman can open her legs to any man for 1million different reason most of which have nothing to do with the husband.

It has nothing to do with the self worth of the man or how confident he is. It's just a normal thing that would happen to anybody. If your wife who you have shown so much love and emotions to, is caught fucking a meat seller, you won't be able to wrap your head around why it had to be someone as low as a meat seller. If you caught her with someone up there, it might motivate you to want to do well in life and you'd be thinking maybe it's because you don't have so much money. I'm just giving examples.

Finally, our WBC belt has finally been released from hostage. Wilder has to be the most foolish boxer of this era. He turned down 120m dollars to fight AJ and went to collect about 7m dollars to fight Fury thinking he would not lose the belt. It would have been better to lose the belt to AJ for 120m dollars than losing it to Fury for 7m dollars. I want to see Fury Vs AJ for undisputed.

Tyson Fury has knocked out Deontay Wilder.... Hahahahaha. See person wey dem say go beat AJ.

Wetin wilder thief wey fury de beat am like this?

Tyson has dropped wilder twice in round 3.

Any live stream link?

Girlwhocares:
Please help me, I'm loosing my sanity everyday!
I'm scared to open up to friends and families because of what they will think or how disappointed or bad I will make them feel, also I'm afraid people will be judgemental about my actions.

I'm not physically and emotional connected with my husband which is affecting our marriage and my well-being, we live as co-tenant, we hardly have any conversation, we do things differently, we share different rooms, no sex for the past 3 years! Even during courtship and the fist two years of marriage I can account for days we were intimate.

Things are fallen out of place everyday, we have a child together who will be 4yrs and the thought of having another child has not crossed my mind.

I get irritated at everything, I hardly show appreciation towards him even if it means he has done his best, which later i will find myself guilty and try to make up but the spark and connection isn't just there.

Most times, I have a non-challant attitude towards him and everything he does to make me happy.

I feel lonely, bored and incomplete even when I'm 90% sure my husband loves me and always ready to make me happy.

I feel awkward communicating my feelings and thoughts to him because I know I might flare up with anger even when he hasn't done or said anything to warrant it.

Please I have come to this faceless forum to pour out my mind, my heart is heavy, I need someone to talk to, I'm afraid my personal intention of walking out this marriage even when my husband hasn't done anything to deserve this might backfire and has its negative effect on our child.

I honestly don't need anyone to insult me please as I'm going through a lot. All i need is mature married wo(men) opinions

Thank you for your time.

You really don't have much problems other than the fact that you are suffering from a psychiatric problem and you need to see a doctor asap cos from all you have said, all the problems in the marriage starts and ends with you. Get help fast.

MusaChukwudi:
This is rubbish na!

Unless the man has underlying issues and has self esteem problem!
If he was busy earning money and developing himself ...Kai na the woman lose. Over time the woman and her new gateman hubby will be begging him for money to feed!

As a man, when a lady cheats on you with someone in your class or higher than you in class, it wouldn't hurt you as much as when she cheats on you with someone way below your level. Na that one de pain pass. You'd start wondering what she saw in that low class guy to make her open leg for him.

In the news:

Banker's wife pregnant for lesson teacher he hired by "her" for their children.
The other day, it was another girl that cheated on bf that bought her car and tushed her up only for her to go and marry a "rewire".
There have been cases of ladies cheating on their hubby with driver, Gateman and gardener. The way some women can stoop so low for dick, is amazing. Even if you want to cheat on a man, cheat on him with someone that has class(not necessarily more money). WTF? When you start cheating on a man with mechanic, Gateman, driver, carpenter, and the likes, you are actually destroying the ego of the man and reducing him to that level and that thing can kill the self esteem of a man. ���

OLUENTA1:
Hello Nairalanders I need to hear from different people what to do and maybe if there is any advise at all or guidance to the issue/incidence that occured between me and my fiancee

Let me go straight to the story and I will try to make it short and explanatory.

My fiancee happened to have this ex that obviously they had a good time together and infact she left the guy for me and during one of our conversation I got to know that finances during her time with him was a big issue and at one time or twice she cheated on him to sleep with men that could take care of the finances

We started our relationship and I quickly noticed the challenges with this with her but on my own part I can take care of her finances. Anyway, We have been together for more than 2 years and also we are planning to get engaged traditional soon.

The unthinkable happened during one of my inquisitive quest of checking her WhatsApp messages when I saw her telling her closest buddy that she was chatting with her ex the other time and that they were talking about how many times they had sex and also if she ever meet the guy again she will sleep with him.

Well, as it is I am feeling been cheated on and secondly, i can't imagine that she will still have this feeling for the ex so much that she could say that she can still sleep with the ex again.

The question now is, do I still need to continue the relationship with her? and also call off the engagement? Because it seemed she can't be loyal or maybe the she loves the guy more than me and any given opportunity she will always go back to the ex

Guy, run. I once had a friend that the bf still sent taxi to come and pick up around 12am 2 days to her marriage. She had given us the invitation card and when we quizzed the taxi driver to know who sent him to come pick her up, the name he gave was a total different name from the person she was getting married to. She later confided in a female friend of ours that no matter what happens, she would never leave the bf. Even after getting married to her fiance, she would still be fucking the bf. Girls like that, they hardly ever change. Don't go and waste your money marrying problem.

Biafrareform:
Good morning all, for those still awake.

I think my relationship just ended. Something we both cherish.

Well, months back my ex and I came back together. We had a bliss relationship while in our final year, but I wasn't committed at all and she knew it and left. Back then in school she kept going to my phone and of course she do see things to talk about .

After 1 year of being apart, I needed a committed relationship cos I wanted to settle down. She came to my mind and the feelings was so strong even though I tried to resist it. We finally met and resolved all issues that led to her leaving .

Is been the sweetest memory we have had so far. Everything was going fine. She is a nice and sweet girl. Our agenda is marriage and she is aware. She fits perfectly to my ideal woman. Our emotional and spiritual connection is just perfect.

Well, things take a turn when I went to her phone and saw stuff that knocked me out. What really got me mad was her dating a married man. My emotion was dead. She said the relationship is in the past. She was forced to go into it after she left school. Her mum forced her into it when she stopped caring for her and asked her to go fend for herself. Then we weren't together. She confessed to becoming someone else from who I knew when I didn't tried to bring her back. But she is not a bad as I think , she concluded .

I also saw her chat with someone where she sent a bedroom pics she took in my house. She said she is just flirting with him (they have a fling) but that I should give her time, she is going to completely cut of tiers with them.

Well, I love her was ready to stay with her.
She was around again this Val and was tempted to check again and noticed she is still communicating with the married man. Infact I noticed they met lately in January. I locked up , and decided that is over. Didn't talk to her about it.

We went out for on Saturday. She is the type that hardly post on Facebook. Infact she has reduced my activities on Facebook. Her reason, our lives shouldn't be on social media.
I uploaded our outing on WhatsApp. She did too, but didn't upload the one we took together. Yea, she hasn't done that b4. I was angry and voiced out what I saw in her phone. Accused her of deliberately hiding us from her contacts.
She apologised and told me she isn't doing anything with the man again. Just the normal chat cos of the friendship they have had b4 . She even handed her phone to me to call him and end it if I want . I wasn't taking any of that cos I saw from her browsing history where she is been searching how to make a married man fall in love and spend on her but didn't let her know of it.
She pleaded that nothing is happening between them again. Then she begged that I should stopped going to her phone that is destroying us. That if I ended up destroying this relationship, where do I want her to start.

She is back to her base and we chatted last nite and she brought up the case of me going to her phone again and I was angry with that and told her about the browsing history too.

She was completely devastated with my findings.
Is lengthy right, sorry about that. This is a relationship we both cherished and I know she love me real good. Ohh, I forgot to tell you, she bought me a native dress and sent 6k to me from her 33k NYSC allawee. She is a good girl. She is nice and caring. I love this girl real good. Never loved anyone like this before.

But I don't know what has really gone wrong with her. I was determined to really make this right, but as it stand now, it seems dead to me and I am sure she also feels same too.

I should have stayed away from her phone. But guys, is not my fault, I love this girl and I am serious about it.

She is a good girl and a good girl that dates married men and goes about searching the internet for "how to make a married man fall in love with you and spend on you" despite having you as a bf? It's okay o. I did not say anything.