₦airaland Forum

I disagree with you. Selective justice is a subset of justice, hence it is justice.


I am not in support of selective justice, but one thing am sure of, is that whether selective or not, we still get the bad people out of the system.

Even in life, there are many things you want to do, and want to buy, but you cannot get all of them at the same time, so you have to prioritize( is this not selectivity).

The government cannot chase all the criminals at the same time, we can go after the kingpins one at a time, then with time we would get to the grassroots.

Why are we complaining now, is it because its IBORI?
As far as i am concerned that man is a criminal to the core, if he only stole that would have been better, but i don't think any of you here wants to claim that this man didn't contribute to the arming of youths in the region, who have now turned into kidnappers.

Tkb, don't mind them, they are reading too much of newspapers, especially the ones that were using yaraduas' ill health to make money.

It is he that wears the shoe that knows where it pinches, having said that am sure the guys that want his head were affected one way or the other, but it is life. For a reform to take place, SACRIFICES HAVE TO BE MADE.

And this is a good time, while world economies are contracting ours should use that opportunity to clear the mess created by ceos'

Also i don't know who made you believe that its cos of sanusi foreign banks can't loan Nigerian banks money.
This leads to a question, is it banks that are being bailed that we are expecting money from??

It is so unfortunate that we humans especially Nigerians are so gullible that we allow the media to do our thinking for us.
We forget that journalism is no more what it used to be, Journalism is now a means of making money by the press, and the highest bidder sees his story on the front page.

And who are the highest bidders = > The same Crooks.

People keep saying sanusi did damage, i think the right word should be you, the bank managers and the bank did damage to the economy.

Mr boss who would not have enough collateral to run a business, and would go ahead and form a partnership with the manager and bank staffs to push his loans in return for small favors (cash and other gift items).

When he gets the loan, if he is lucky, the business thrives and he reaps the bulk cash and drives expensive cars, etc.

Sanusi Only implemented a good governance policy, that means that those crooked methods used in getting loans has been reduced, and if you don't meet the criteria, your application is thrown out.

We should learn to do things in the right way.
I believe that with time, confidence would be restored in banks and the economy would boom.

I don't think there was any other way to have gone about it than the way he went about it ( because these CEO' had backers and powerful).
This is the same reason we have men like IBB in the system.

Please can you point to the direction he should have taken.
I would not hesitate to point out that many said he on a northern agenda, many criticized him then, and now that he has proven that the CEOS' were crooks, now we are looking for something else to hold on to.

saintchux:
When people commend SLS, i wonder what they are talking about. SANUSI damaged the economy. We are in May, by next month, it will be one year since his reform started, and there is no activity in the banks, rate has crashed that interest on saving is heading to zero.

We are not saying that the bank CEO's that mismanaged their banks did very well, but there are better strategy SLS should have used to solve the crises, without throwing away the confidence people have in the banking sector and putting the economy at risk. SLS eroded the confidence people have in the bank, criminalized borrowing and make bank to demand for your great grand father's guarantee before they offer you a facility.

Let talk about those that lost their job, company that has gone under, and those that are on death bed, imagine the Aero contrator is struggling to survive as  result of the same SLS reform. A reform should help energize industries and the economy and not the kill them.

How can a CBN governor say that MFB does not contribute to the economy, and yet they employed and pay people salary, they give loans etc.

Just like Remi Babalola said CBN is running their affairs as the spirit leads.

SLS has condemned consolidation, why is SLS going for consolidation now, after thought abi?.

I know that CBN governor is a tenored appointment, it is not going to be easy to remove SLS, but FG should reform his reformation.

I would speak as someone who had worked in the banking sector.
MFB, don't contribute anything to this economy, I as a person was angry how this micro finance banks were run (At that time, i was still in a bank).
banks were asked to give up a certain percentage of their profit to help the economy (give up = = close their eyes towards that cash).
They all agreed during the bankers meeting, then what happened, they turned it into another capital money making venture.
These banks were supposed to use this profit to help those who couldn't access loans because of no collateral .
The interest rates were to be very very low, hence to enable the poor entrepreneur break even.

If they had adhered to the reason for its creation, by now, the economy would have grown and jobs would have been created.

Sls didn't erode any confidence, bankers themselves knew that the books were cooked.
There was no confidence amongst the banks, Banks were able to do interbank because CBN gave their word as a security in case any of the banks failed.

Am yet to see one person that has accurately defined the correct manner in which sanusi should have done the reform, instead we have Criticisms up and down.

I have not seen any reform that had taken place without Pains.
I would end by saying, if you are on a highway to a destination and you find that you are going the wrong direction, your best option would be a u-turn towards the right direction.( Though you would not be comfortable with it because of the time spent, petrol burn't, etc but you still have to do it anyway).

Thats why i put it in bracket " it is not a sign of weakness"
Sometimes in life, complex issues can be solved by a simple "am sorry"

She has admitted that of lately she has said some hurtful words, etc
All she is doing in my second solution is admitting that she did somethings wrong. Don't forget, she still tells the guy that he gets his break to sort out himself.

Am trying to tackle the issue from the root (where it all started) and not issue now (which is the result). I call it damage control.

Sometimes it helps to see a problem from the two parties eyes

@KAYD , i understand your stand, but in a relationship if the 2 people insist they are right, then they are heading to the rocks

Now to the solution part.

Forget about marriage for now, so that you don't emit signals of being desperate, add value to your life and be a better person cos the guy is not blind, we men like value and can see one.
Give him a call and say that you are sorry for all the things you've done and he can take his break and decide what he wants (This is not a sign of weakness).
Once in a while( probably once in a week or 2 weeks) drop by, and tell him you wanted to be sure he was doing fine and ok.
If you used to help him out with somethings around the house, do it without expecting anything in return.( If you didn't, think of something you could help him out with in the house).
Note!! No s***x, cos if you do then your break would be tending to infinity.

Finally you are young and have lots of stuffs you need to accomplish in live, while your heart is in action, control it with your head.

Now to the solution part.

Forget about marriage for now, so that you don't emit signals of being desperate.
Add value to your life and be a better person cos the guy is not blind, we men like value and can see one.
Give him a call and say that you are sorry for all the things you've done and he can take his break and decide what he wants (This is not a sign of weakness).
Once in a while( probably once in a week or 2 weeks) drop by, and tell him you wanted to be sure he was doing fine and ok.
If you used to help him out with somethings around the house, do it without expecting anything in return.( If you didn't, think of something you could help him out with in the house).
Note!! No intimacy, cos if you do then your break would be tending to infinity.

Finally your young and have lots of stuffs you need to accomplish in live, while your heart is in action, control it with your head.

I hope the moderators don't delete the solution again.

Well Lacrissa, i was able to know because am used to solving this sort of problems ( Those of my friends though).

Its good to know the root cause and tackle it from there.
Its not a crime to say you love someone, so you should not feel bad to be the first to say it.

Probably you should start by saying it casually
e.g if he does something for you, you can say:

Your a darling, thats why i love you

Now to the solution part.

forget about marriage for now, so that you don't emit signals of being desperate
add value to your life and be a better person cos the guy is not blind, we men like value and can see one.
Give him a call and say that you are sorry for all the things you've done and he can take his break and decide what he wants (This is not a sign of weakness).
Once in a while( probably once in a week or 2 weeks) drop by, and tell him you wanted to be sure he was doing fine and ok.
If you used to help him out with somethings around the house, do it without expecting anything in return.( If you didn't, think of something you could help him out with in the house).
Note!! No intimacy, cos if you do then your break would be tending to infinity.

Finally your young and have lots of stuffs you need to accomplish in live, while your heart is in action, control it with your head.

@lacrissa, i posted a post with my analysis and solution, and it was deleted, i decided to break it into two parts, the analysis was allowed, while the solution was deleted, i would repost the solution again

Now to the solution part.

forget about marriage for now, so that you don't emit signals of being desperate
add value to your life and be a better person cos the guy is not blind, we men like value and can see one.
Give him a call and say that you are sorry for all the things you've done and he can take his break and decide what he wants (This is not a sign of weakness).
Once in a while( probably once in a week or 2 weeks) drop by, and tell him you wanted to be sure he was doing fine and ok.
If you used to help him out with somethings around the house, do it without expecting anything in return.( If you didn't, think of something you could help him out with in the house).
Note!! No intimacy, cos if you do then your break would be tending to infinity.

Finally your young and have lots of stuffs you need to accomplish in live, while your heart is in action, control it with your head.

@Lacrissa, i decided to go through your previous posts and this is what i have to say.

At 21, you are not too old, infact you just started life.
Your problems now stems from the fact that you seem desperate to marry ( Am not insulting you, infact, you might not know that this is the signal your sending off), but the truth is that people you are with can sense this.

Men don't take breaks, if they do, it has to be for a reason , we usually break up or cause you to do the break up.

A man could take a break because he sees a potential in you( Something he values so much), and doesn't want to leave you.

Now ask yourself what does he stand to gain (Visa, money, companionship , love , )
This answer would determine if the guy wants to use you as a means to an end or just wants to end up with you.

Sometimes when people ask for advice, people supply advice based on what is seen on the surface, and don't try to find out the root cause.

Now you said you guys were having this quarrels lately.

I would say that your childish tendencies were being thrown up. you might ask how i know, you mentioned some of it here, but i would say from your other posts.

First you post on how pretty you are and how your family talks about it and how many guys are toasting you( am paraphrasing). If unfortunately this happens in the presence of this man, and he sees your encouraging it, it sends the wrong signal.

secondly, you complain about his height, that your 5.7 and he is 5.6

Thirdly, i hope he is not the ugly rich Man you once talked of.

Do you think you have been so touchy lately or nagging or have you said some hurting words, that could be part of it.

@Lacrissa, i decided to go through your previous posts and this is what i have to say.

At 21, you are not too old, infact you just started life.
Your problems now stems from the fact that you seem desperate to marry ( Am not insulting you, infact, you might not know that this is the signal your sending off), but the truth is that people you are with can sense this.

Men don't take breaks, if they do, it has to be for a reason , we usually break up or cause you to do the break up.

A man could take a break because he sees a potential in you( Something he values so much), and doesn't want to leave you.

Now ask yourself what does he stand to gain (Visa, money, companionship , love , )
This answer would determine if the guy wants to use you as a means to an end or just wants to end up with you.

Sometimes when people ask for advice, people supply advice based on what is seen on the surface, and don't try to find out the root cause.

Now you said you guys were having this quarrels lately.

I would say that your childish tendencies were being thrown up. you might ask how i know, you mentioned some of it here, but i would say from your other posts.

First you post on how pretty you are and how your family talks about it and how many guys are toasting you( am paraphrasing). If unfortunately this happens in the presence of this man, and he sees your encouraging it, it sends the wrong signal.

secondly, you complain about his height, that your 5.7 and he is 5.6

Thirdly, i hope he is not the ugly rich Man you once talked of.

Do you think you have been so touchy lately or nagging or have you said some hurting words, that could be part of it.

Now to the solution part.

forget about marriage for now, so that you don't emit signals of being desperate
add value to your life and be a better person cos the guy is not blind, we men like value and can see one.
Give him a call and say that you are sorry for all the things you've done and he can take his break and decide what he wants (This is not a sign of weakness).
Once in a while( probably once in a week or 2 weeks) drop by, and tell him you wanted to be sure he was doing fine and ok.
If you used to help him out with somethings around the house, do it without expecting anything in return.( If you didn't, think of something you could help him out with in the house).
Note!! No sex, cos if you do then your break would be tending to infinity.

Finally your young and have lots of stuffs you need to accomplish in live, while your heart is in action, control it with your head.

OBJ, we hail thee for giving us a good successor

I just don't know what to remember this man for.

Eya, so wot happens to the 7 point agenda!

Just saw some news flash on http://www.thisdayonline.com/ , any confirmation??

@tkb, dats the reason i don't like replying on Nairaland.

--YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECT A DIFFERENT RESULT.

People understand this, but are too stubborn or egocentric, to accept a change.

And guess what, they always end up in the same manner.

@uju, its obvious to us that the posters BF, is with her for greener pastures.
@ayettymama,  i understand your plight, i have only one sister, and i don't think i would allow her marry a loser, i would really scrutinize the guy, to be sure he has prospects.

And a good advice for you ayetty.
You need to take a look at the lives of women who followed your present line of thoughts, and see where they are
Then look at those who chose a different path, and see where they are.
Then you can now apply your power of choice, and decide the best and the one that suits you.
You alone can live you life, and unfortunately, you can do that only once.

Am very sure you read alot of posts here and should know by now that women who compete with their husbands, end up unhappy and on NL, bugging us with issues they would have resolved easily.
You might say its a Nigerian factor, but its not, a Nigerian man would rather stay with his wife and make her life hell, while here, they go straight for a divorce.

There is nothing wrong in you marrying a broke guy, and working with him to make life worthwhile for the two of you.
Also, there is nothing wrong with a man marrying a broke lady and encouraging her to be the best she can be.

The problem we all have is that society has made us grade everything in money.
You want a car, show me the money.
you want a house, show me the money.
you want love, show me the money.

We keep chasing money and redefining it as the core in life.

I don't know where in this world inspiration = = Competition.
But i agree with you on a fact, you deserve the best in life.

Most of us dream of the ideal world - but wake up, you are in a real world, not ideal world.

Am sure most married women would agree with me that a Home becomes a home when the husband and woman complement each other or becomes a house when they compete with each other.( or if english would allow me, Inspirate each other .LOL)

@uju , if you read my previous replies you would see that i condemned the guys attitude.

Am only speaking in totality of the kind of girls one gets to meet these days.
No more gold diggers, platinum don join.

@tkb, i have been around since 2006, i just look at these posts and restrain myself from participating, except the need be.

And i saw som1 blabbing about how if she makes 10million her husband should make more than that (Are you guys competing or wot?) .
This is why many marriages don't last because it has turned to a competition.


Why do i have the feeling that the poster would end up with the same type of guy.
@german1234, you are definitely going to end up with the same type of guy, because you are surrounded with the same types of Nigerians.
Get out of that league, then you can meet great guys

@ayettymama -  nobody is saying you should go out with a broke guy, but you are either immature or myopic to see the prospects the guy has.
You forget that you know only the now and not the future.

You ladies are not ready to work towards anything, you just want an already made guy and upon that you wouldn't give the guy peace( still treating the relationship as a competition).

@daduke, am very sure your right about ayettymama. LOl
@tkb, am with you on your many assertions.
@german1234, though it is the custom here,I don't feel comfortable, going out with a girl and she paying even part of the bills, i rather form activity in the bedroom. Am almost certain that the guy is using you.

One thing i would always say is that you cannot eat your cake and have it. If you feel comfortable being placed in cloud9(heavenly bliss) by this guy, then you should also go along with the baggage that comes along with it.

The truth be told, the guy might like you, but his priority is his papers.
And for the aspect of him always on the phone speaking with friends and family in Africa - I don't depend on any1 for cash, but i still call home, dats because as far as we are concerned, FAMILY is everything and comes FIRST.
And that brings me to another point. "Gals have this attraction to bad guys" , yet they keep asking for something good.
Please don't generalize Nigerians, you have no basis comparing a bad Nigerian to good Nigerians like me and tkb, if your preference is for the bad one, then enjoy it while it lasts and deal with the baggage.

@dns?? are u serious
this one don pass "pass me your luv"

Guy you are 26, for Christ sake, get a life.

You owe it to her to satisfy her ko, satisfy her ni
shiooo.

If a girl loves you, she loves you, if she doesn't, she doesn't. Its not by force or by sex.

The theme chosen by BBC, is totally misguiding, anyway, long time ago journalism has been crap, people tend to do news that sell.

The part, i choose to see is the good part, Nigerians, we are very hardworking. The joseph man, married to a woman of another tribe.
making sure he fends for his family and living happily.

slender, working hard to amount to something.

And thats the nigerian spirit.

And for all those leaders cum politicians eating our money, may their kids be caught before they try to bomb a plane

lol!!

I really didn't want to comment on this, but i would have a go.
@Stephanie7, am staying in belfast here, and sincerely i would like to commiserate with you, but would beg to differ.
You guys here don't know what love is. You guys look at relationship/marriage/love, as an unspoken contract which is guided by rules which include: happiness at all times, no affairs and some other rules, wherein if any rule is broken, then we quit the relationship.
YOUR EX WAS CLEARLY WRONG COMMITTING ADULTERY
but please , who would want to save her marriage, while sleeping with another while she has not been DIVORCED??

The next thing we hear is a yoruba guy on the scene, and now another Nigerian.

steph, Relationship is WORK, and if you want to hold this particular one down, then you need to look for chaircover and her posts, cos i think you have a lot to learn, and its scattered all over nairaland in her replies.

I wish you the best

What is it with Nigerian Men, Ghanaian women and BAD LUCK.
This is the second story am reading today on nairaland, with the same storyline.

Infact, am staying clear of Ghanaian Women until this TRIAD puzzle is solved

LOL!!

Funny to note, when a Man goes gaga and the woman needs help, we know what to tell the woman to bring the man to his senses.
But if the woman goes gaga, and the man needs help, we hand him over to God.

My Brother, i feel your pain, but i think you still need to pray very hard, open those mails and if she is screaming, you hold your calm and ignore it.
personally, i runaway from girls that don't have female friends.

This post is very very funny, but to those that keep westernizing everything, the same western statistics shows more women are becoming singles everyday.
probably we should join them too.

What most women don't realize is, it's little things that cause great problems.
I for one never had problem with this as am used to greeting, until i noticed my Girlfriend wasn't the greeting type, all i had to do was find an indirect way of telling her it wasn't nice and i think she got the clue.

Men are not saying you should kneel down and say ekaro, if you love someone, courtesy demands you greet in the morning.

@javalove, this world is a small place
LOL

no vex say i put ur name, dat was my way of hitting at the poster to be sure i know him.
You and java sef
Take care

jajilove, pls take it easy with dis guy

@ Ayemokhia Simple advice to you,
you've been hurt, pick up the pieces and move on.
Experiences in life either MAR or MAKE us.

When you start placing these kinds of standards you might end up weeding out the very person who would have made you happy the rest of your life.

Sometimes, it not all about the money.