₦airaland Forum

Serenity22:
we've been having a hi/hi, how r u doing/fine kind of conversation so I was suprised when he said he wanted to talk so I was like I tot u r confortable with how we've being going for 2mths, he said he wasn't.I asked why the sudden coldness, he said his pastor told him not to marry me but he has spent d 2mths tinkin about what d pastor said and he has decided to nt listen to him.
Mind you this same pastor once told him n his mother that I have a spiritual husband and his mum wanted me to follow her to God knows where for deliverance.

Flytefalls:
Can you be absolutely sure he even went to a pastor? Or is that just another lie?

RoyalRoy:
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Fellis, seems you now have your own separate family section.


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babyosisi:
Oh
Eziokwu
I missed that part
The man has no car?
That one seems like a no brainer na
Just put his name and yours together

But this man is a good man o
Many men won't be alive to see madam have a car when they are jumping molue and legging it
Some will be dragging key with wife for car her father gave her as wedding gift sef

Closetoheart:
Marriage is a school where you can't finish learning. I have searched through my mind about who to share this with, but I couldn't get anyone.

Since I had my first child, my MIL is always fond of saying that my daughter is her last child...my husband is the first and only son. There was even a day at the hospital that she made a statement (I can't remember what she said exactly but I knew my mum responded to her that "I will be alive to take care of my child and the other ones that will come afterwards). Since then, she always want to have a final say over anything that has to do with my daughter- her name, her birth certificate, when to cut her hair, where to have the naming ceremony even up till the point that she said she wanted to breastfeed my child (but I told my husband about this and he said it is impossible). Anytime I take care of my baby (maybe when bathing her or dressing her up), I get afraid of losing her to my MIL- for whatever reason. I am always afraid, and sometimes, it brings tears from my eyes. This morning, I summoned the courage to discuss my fears with my husband. He said what I said was gave him headache, and he hopes I am not expecting him to tell his mum to stop calling my daughter her daughter and that it is a normal thing. I told him he can't even do that, but I was just discussing my fear with him...going by her utterances. He kept quite for sometime and walked out on me. I didn't say anything afterwards till I left home for work. Please, what am I supposed to do? Am I unnecessarily being afraid?

Another issue: I am planning to buy a car, in fact, I should pay for the car before the end of today. The person that wants to sell the car to me wants to know whose name he should put on it. If you are in my shoes, whose name will you put? Your name, your husband's name, or Mr. & Mrs. .......
(My husband does not have one, and he hasn't bought one before).

Ps: I have only asked genuine questions, please do not pass insults. Thanks.

okotv:
I laugh in Swahili....no woman in Nigeria has won state governor you are eying aso rock. Till the 2030's before such will happen here. Even America that you stay doesn't have a female president in their role call not to talk of a patriarchal environment like ours.

Sophyrocks:
And that is why i said many couples after some months of marriage begin to squeeze face as if they were forced to get married. the men will start acting as if they have been choked and start having affairs. All because they wanna please society. Then you wonder why they got married in the first place. In other countries like amongst the whites, you will see grooms dancing like there is no tomorrow, beaming with smiles. some even cry for joy. Not in nigeria o! Marriage in nigeria is a Sham!

babyosisi:
Oh boy
I want to steal that your phone

brownlord:
Trying to play smart.

So the west do your "marriage rite" abi?

Why must I travel to the girls village before we can get married?

So you agree you must travel to your village (you may never have visited all your life before you can get married ) but you get to the man's house and forget you ever came from a village and start claiming western culture. No be so?

If I come to your house and see your parents and siblings, telling them of my intention, what other marriage rite do you need in the village?

And just a question.

The traditional and court marriage which is more recognised?

chiefdoctor:
So what you are saying is the man should always only adapt in the way that suits you and your folks while you dodge and navigate your way the easy way out in each situation.
You are also trying to make it sound like women earning their own money even the days of our fathers was a new thing.

Besides child rearing and house keeping, our mothers went to the farms and markets as well and made money too.
So please stop making it sound like feminism/equality/wuteva is what brought women working.

Y'all just got lazy and want a change. Which is fine, but don't you dare expect us to still follow the old excessive ways of marrying you too.
If you can't prove stubborn to your parents about not over-doing the culture thing and demanding heaven and earth for marrying you, then don't come to our house to prove stubborn for us because you got nothing to run on.

brownlord:
You've not answered my question

Cococandy, assuming I want to marry you and I refuse to go kneel down before your village masquerade ( na joke o ) elders or maybe we both living in Lagos or Abuja or even outside the country, I refuse going to your village for any silly traditional marriage because I don't believe in tradition/African culture.

Cococandy, will you agree to to marry me, we can do other ceremony, white wedding, registry and all others, but I'm not comfortable going to your village, having some old men subject me to some sought of rituals in the name of traditional wedding, or giving me kolanut to pray for me etc.

Will you agree to this?

brownlord:
I will stop existing if I cook for any woman.

I'm damn sure your father never cooked for your mother, and my father dint do either.

Where did you get that from? Western civilisation I guess. I don't have a problem with that.

But how come when the man is coming to ask for your hand in marriage you suddenly forget western culture and insist he must go to your village to see your some elders and village ancestors, subject him to kneeling down before some old men all in the name of traditional marriage.

Don't you watch movie or see how the people you practice their culture get married? When they can just call few friends sometimes without the consent of their parents

Will you agree to any arrangement that will not allow you go stage party in your fathers house, will you agree if a man says he won't be going to your village to pay your bride prize or go to kneel down before some old men who he has no business with just because he wants a wife?

why subject a man to those inhuman treatment during marriage only to get to his house and start forming western culture?

babyosisi:
If I had my husband's family demand that a doctor examines me to certify me physically fit and the man agrees with it,that marriage is over before it started
What nonsense
What test should the woman undergo that the man shouldn't
Any woman that agrees to this nonsense is a desperado,maybe her family depends on the man for livelihood
3 tests to satisfy a family?That is one family any girl with a bit of common sense should flee from
What a grave insult

brownlord:
Pray never to be in this position bro.

If she use to set the table for your meal, the moment she start contributing most of the money at home, trust me you start going to the kitchen to get food yourself, gradually she start telling you to boil water before you could say jack, ye don dey wash her clothes.

Be wise sir