₦airaland Forum

Yep.
A normal person according to our times

Not everyone is selfless.
A normal person is afraid and self centred first.
That thing that will make you withdraw your hand from a burning stove(the law of self preservation) is the same thing that will make you run from a highly infectuous disease like ebola.

Only LOVE,grace,bravery,sense of duty and lots of more LOVE will make one sacrifice themselves or put themselves on the line for another person.


[quote author=5minsmadness][/quote]

So tell me how exactly one person can be responsible for the enrichment and/or welfare of ALL his extended family members.
Una dey do maths at all?
So he shouldn't have a life again because they helped him go abroad which is a very vague statement BTW.
Helped him as in plane ticket money or they paid his way thru' college and bought his house in the US for him?
Even the ones that packed garri for you to go with will count themselves as those that sent you abroad.while counting the months and years before you send a brand new SUV for them.

I'm not against helping relatives.
But the only people you OWE care are your wife/husband, kids and aged parents.
Every other person is an adult that should take care of themselves.
If you help,good.very good and beautiful.
If you don't, It shouldn't make you a bad person.

The problem is that we Africans think money grows on trees abroad.
When a person travels and doesn't come back to build a mansion for them,buy cars and train their kids in school for them,that person 'has nothing to show for having been abroad for long'

Wonder why young men dabble into all sorts of illegal stuff over there?
Because there's a high expectation from those at home.
IT IS WRONG!!!

maestroferddi: It is not his job to enrich his family members yet it was these people that facilitated his departure overseas.


When he dies, he would be brought to this useless people to be afforded a befitting last rites.


He wouldn't ask to be buried in the picturesque plains of America where he would be ensconced in the company of the likes of JFK, Reagan and Eisenhower.


Very sad.

SeaGold: Nothing spectacular of the ordinary. He attended to his Fiancee needs oblivious of her status and continued when it was apparent he'd been exposed. All the same, I pray to God almighty to give him the grace to handle the tragedy and may his Fiancee find eternal rest in the Bosom of The Lord.

There was panic in the air when the ebola news broke.
*when she came and said she nursed one,a normal person would have flipped.
But he was cool.
*When she started showing symptoms and he became suspicious,he didn't run to avoid getting infected with the the virus.
*When she lay dying and he was still fit and about,he didn't shy away from her when it was obvious the hospital wasn't doing their best.
*He was doing this even when his own status hadn't been confirmed. A normal person would have stayed away just to preserve what little chance they had at escaping the disease in case they hadn't already got infected

There were achievements


Deputy Governor, Imo State, Prince Madumere handing over to the Chairman, World Igbo Congress, Dr Eto, C of O, of land in Owerri for an international medical centre to be facilitated by WIC.

So his job is to make his extended family rich?
Smh.

maestroferddi: My brother I can wager that you are from Imo State. I have a similar kinsman like that near my place at home.

The man has spent almost 40 years in MD, US with nothing to show for it.

He came to the jungle to pick a Nigerian oversee-makes-me-lose-my-mind wife and since then na nkiti nkiti.

Come and see poverty for his extended family.

These folks need deliverance, shikena.

Is the money for the corpse transfer from your pocket?
If you must know,17,500 dollars isn't such a bad bargain.

And FYI,he didn't owe you a dime.
He didn't live in America for 45yrs to fund your life for you.
Stop with the feeling of entitlement already.

oilyngbati: @ the bolded, then they (the old Igbo fools) shall return in their casket. As I speak, we are planning on wasting a whooping $17500 on bringing back my late uncle from the US to the zoo (nigeria) in a week's time. He was a physicist and a prof at one of the ivy league schools here in Boston. His/my village did not gain anything from him while he was alive. Now, his people will get a plate of rice and a can of coke now that he's dead, thanks to living in abroad for 45 yrs+

Nigerian culture.
Presently I know a couple undergoing a divorce.
The oldest of their four kids is just 13 and a girl.
The man is insisting on taking the kids.
Not that he can raise them or give the budding daughter the attention a pubescent girl needs from an older female.
No he's not even going to let them live with him because his new wife-to-be doesn't want that.

But he's just trying to prove his 'manhood' by showing the woman that he's the man and can take the kids from her.
So he's taking them and dumping them with his mother their grandmother to raise.

I asked and the answer I got is that little kids or not,the guy decides what to do with the kids.
It doesn't matter if they are tender and in need of their mother or not.
It is their culture.

Ishilove: Which useless culture?

MissMeiya: Loool. Even confronted with a logical answer in the very first comment, detailed descriptions and explanations--someone was kind enough to post a VIDEO, he would still rather believe something is hunting him. Maybe one day, the fear will give him a heart attack, and his dullness will end with him. Some guy came up with this silly idea called natural selection. I think his name was Darwin or David or something.

Hope for the human race. Looking for some virus that kills only the stupidest Nigerians, to improve the gene pool, because it's not looking good.

You've to admit. Believing in the hunting spirits and rampaging demons adds a nice twist to an ordinary life.
It would be boring on earth without ghost stories.

I know I love me a cool ghost story on a very good day
Makes for great entertainment.
Mystery is always attractive.
Not everyone wants answers.

I used to experience sleep paralysis when I was younger.very scary feeling. Like the walls were closing in on me.
I'd feel very tiny as if my room had turned into a Huge Dome and later like it was falling on top of me. The light bulb would turn into a flashy reptile crawling all over the ceiling.
BUT I GREW UP.

Truth is:
If the person can find the presence of mind to move or speak out,the episode ends abruptly.
That's why it seems like when jesus or god is mentioned the demon runs away.
Yes. That because you're awake enough to speak.your brain wakes up fully and movement is restored in your muscles.
Why jesus or the name of god?
Because that's the first name that comes to most believers in times of terror.

Truth is:
even if you said something else,as long as you spoke,the episode will end.

You're on a loooong thing
The demon theory is easier to believe.

How dare you ask anyone to stress their delicate brains in saerch of answers when satan/lucifer is the perfect fall guy to blame for anything weird encountered?

MissMeiya: [size=18pt]Sleep paralysis[/size] is a phenomenon in which a person, either when falling asleep or awakening, temporarily experiences an inability to move. It is a transitional state between wakefulness and sleep characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It is often associated with terrifying visions, such as an intruder in the room, to which one is unable to react due to paralysis, from which the term "nightmare" is derived. One theory is that it results from disrupted REM sleep, which is normally characterized by complete muscle atonia to prevent the sleeper from acting out his or her dreams. Sleep paralysis has been linked to disorders such as narcolepsy, migraines, anxiety disorders, and obstructive sleep apnea; however, it can also occur in isolation.[1][2] When linked to another disorder, sleep paralysis commonly occurs in association with the neurological sleep disorder narcolepsy.[2]

Many people who experience sleep paralysis are struck with a deep sense of terror when they sense a menacing presence in the room while paralyzed—hereafter referred to as the intruder. A neurological interpretation of this phenomenon is that it results from a hyper-vigilant state created in the midbrain.[9] More specifically, the emergency response is activated in the brain when individuals wake up paralyzed and feel vulnerable to attack.[10] This helplessness can intensify the effects of the threat response well above the level typical of normal dreams, which could explain why such visions during sleep paralysis are so vivid.[10] Normally the threat-activated vigilance system is a protective mechanism to differentiate between dangerous situations and to determine whether the fear response is appropriate.[10] Some hypothesize that the threat vigilance system is evolutionarily biased to interpret ambiguous stimuli as dangerous, because "erring on the side of caution" increases survival chances.[10] This hypothesis could account for why the threatening presence is perceived as being evil.[10]

A similar process may explain the experience of the incubus presence, with slight variations, in which the evil presence is perceived by the subject to be attempting to suffocate them, either by pressing heavily on the chest or by strangulation.[10] A neurological explanation hold that this results from a combination of the threat vigilance activation system and the muscle paralysis associated with sleep paralysis that removes voluntary control of breathing.[10] Several features of REM breathing patterns exacerbate the feeling of suffocation.[10] These include shallow rapid breathing, hypercapnia, and slight blockage of the airway, which is a symptom prevalent in sleep apnea patients.[9] According to this account, the subject attempts to breath deeply and finds herself unable to do so, creating a sensation of resistance, which the threat-activated vigilance system interprets as an unearthly being sitting on her chest, threatening suffocation.[9] The sensation of entrapment causes a feedback loop when the fear of suffocation increases as a result of continued helplessness, causing the subject to struggle to end the SP episode.[10]

He was very right. Your father.

damiso: My Dad used to say something that I thought was radical and an infringement on people's rights (me and my slightly liberal self) but now I think it makes a bit of sense.If every Nigerian govt official knew that they and their families had to no other choice but to use our public services they would pay more attention to how it was run.He said if there if there is legislation that makes it part of your oath of office that all your kids go to school in Nigeria you are ill no matter how serious you will be treated in Nigeria you will make sure the person who is awarded hospital contracts executes them effectively.

David Cameron's last child was born in an emergency birth while they were on holiday in Cornwall.The child was probably meant to be born in a private hospital but an emergency birth meant she had to be born in an NHS hospital. Can Nigerian officials truly risk an emergency that would mean they could be treated in a community hosptal in Ogbomosho?

Training someone is not always the parameter to measure care.
It may be. But not always.
Some do it to have a leverage over you.
Ok why did he tell her to not work?

3cycle: Where can we find such men in Nigeria? I will give up everything I have to be with such a man if I find him on planet earth

I believe the victim's husband use to be a caring man Atleast he trained her through out her university days until few years back.
My question is what changes in marriage/union that can make a man maltreat the woman he once loves?

And to think they weren't already married yet he was selfless with her.
Some other person would have raaaaan the moment she said she treated the first patient even without her showing any symptoms or whatever.

This Ebola thing is such a tragedy..
What a fine couple this pair would have made
With all their lives ahead of them.
New baby on the way
New jobs at hand too.
It is really painful
The thought of some patient left lying in their own faeces is sooooo painful.
I'd rather risk dying alongside my loved one caring for him/her than let them die in such horrific condition.
#crying#
Can't a human being die in dignity again

Quick weight loss method.

Pronmix: 10.
Mauro Prosperi: Survived 9 days in the Sahara Desert.
Prosperi, a keen endurance runner, took part in the
1994 Marathon des Sables (Marathon of the Sands) in
Morocco. Part way through the 6-day 233 kilometre
event a sandstorm caused Prosperi to lose his way. He
ended up disoriented and ran in the wrong direction,
ultimately running several hundred kilometres into
Algeria. After 36 hours he ran out of food and water.
He survived by drinking his own urine and eating bats
resident in an abandoned mosque and the occasional
snake found in the desert.
Not wishing to die a long drawn out death, Prosperi
attempted to commit suicide in the mosque by slitting
his wrists with a pen knife he had with him. The
attempt failed - lack of water had caused Prosperi's
blood to thicken and clotted the wound before he
died.
After nine days alone in the desert he was found by a
nomadic family and taken to an Algerian military camp
and from there to a hospital. He was 186 miles off
route, and reportedly had lost between 30 and 40
pounds (18 kg) in body weight.

He got fat after he won the lottery

malikmoreni: [size=18pt]DAT fat MAN JUMPED FROM A PLANE, TRAIN AHAN OP, OPEE[/size]

Smh

On the bright side,they are not all like that.so nwanne m. Chose wisely when you wanna settle down.
NO ONE. Not one person is perfect. Even us women.

But if you find a man who doesn't believe you're beneath him,you've 70 percent of your success cut out already.
Because he'll treat you the way he thinks a person who deserves respect should be treated.
The same way he would want to be treated.
With consideration and respect.

There's hardly any problem such a couple can't overcome.
And it helps to have good role models too.
Successful couples who have been married for long and not suffering and smiling.
When you guys are with them,they influence the young couple positively.

Too bad many folks had bad examples while growing up so it's kind of the norm or belief.
It'll phase out. Slowly.

Sophyrocks: Yes Coco, i saw that particular comment. Dnt you just love Nigerians with their twisted mentality of what is right and wrong? The f*o*o*lish man that made that comment is a representative of the typical nigerian mentality. Just because she filed for divorce, she is now seen as responsible for chris' downfall? she is now a devil sent by satan to destroy chris? what sort of warped thinking is that? Why should we continue to reason like organisms lower than apes? Haba!! And some bafoons were all tagging women to be responsible for downfall of men even using bible to back their disgusting, mental deteriorrating thoughts. And these same men will marry very unfortunate women and then more and more sob stories wll emerge of how these men are abusive and callous. Doesnt that tell you that there is a strong inherent hatred for women in this part of the world? why do you think there are many sob stories?

Shitty thread that was. Some called her the devil's agent for trying to break free from an adulterous union because she should have considered his ministry and name before her happiness.

One example. A mild example it is. There were Some I couldn't read without wincing

KunAviero: Women can silly and senseless at times. Even if the man is at fault, could she not have turned a blind eye just for the sake of her children, the name "Oyakhilome", the christ embassy church and what the bible says about divorce? I thought she took a vow in front of the alter of God to love her husband for better and for worst? Even if others divorce easily, I don't expect such from a high profile pastor like Anita. Pastor Indeed

I guess God doesn't mind when a man sins.
He hates divorce if the man misbehaves but condones it and infact endorses it when the woman misbehaves.
"The god of men."
It was irritating

Sophyrocks: Its very sad but also true. The Nigerian society has a very strong hold on women being the most gullible people on earth. can't you see how people are so quick to judge women? go through the comments and pick one particular one that tried to rope the blame on this woman in the Op. Women are judged for every single problem on earth! dnt you hear men make statements denoting that Women are responsible for all the problems of men? Go and read that thread about the divorce between chris oyakhilome and his wife. I purposely avoided that thread because i have decided to avoid certain arguments and i was too pissed to read it.

The typical Nigerian mentality degrades the self esteem of women and attaches the 'wife material/virtuous woman' ish to make it look palatable to women with naturally no self esteem. Only stubborn, strong willed women like moi prevent that from happening to them.

Haha. I know. I was saying from a woman's POV.

Mynd44: I am not a woman

Story for the gods.
Say that and your fellow women will be the first to turn on you.
My own be say any adult woman who doesn't know what to do to maintain her dignity is not worth the sweating over.

Mynd44: It is time the women in this country left retrogressive cultures and start making new ones.

It is time to change the rules and demand for more else the male folk will ride on them

Who says I pay?
Lmao. I said 'for everytime I've been asked'
Doesn't mean I give them all the time.
Only the porters do i give or genuine disabled beggars.
If I get money to throway no be to go build banana iceland 'manshun' for my papa house.

Naija runs. After the beggars don finish their own for outside,the officials in the offices then cut your neck with their own wayo.
Enter any immigration office and they'll cut one of your legs before you leave.
Or any public office for that matter.
No fixed prices for anything.
Everyone trying to scam you for things as small as just a stamp on your document.
You go wonder if the stamp na gold.
I'd don't know if they assume peope pick money off trees

Chillisauce: So you dey pay? I envy you.
The only people I give are those that help with my luggages, and I make sure not above #200. With very big luggages.

echobee: ops,
Wetin happen?

All the babes wan know why their blokos dey wander

See them

'Cheaters'' lounge.
Bar man bring beer and pepper soup

Na wetin fit them jare
If I had a penny for everytime I been asked 'madam anything for the boys?'
Bill Gates won't have anything on me.

Professional beggars na em workers for here be.

Chillisauce: dash ke! they know me na, i go even task you join. there was this girl once at arik air to accra, the search before boarding, as soon as she took my bag to search, she was like 'sis, anything for me?'. I told her i had nothing but was going to work. She immediately saw a bundle of 50naira notes scattered in the bag. she gathered them together and was like i should dash her this one na.

imagine . a whole 2k plus for dash, for what? searching me?. I told her to kindly put it back where she saw it. is that the job you were told to do? She was quiet embarassed. she was like my age of more even. But i was really angry. she wasnt even concerned in looking out for dangerous weapon(razor blades plenty for the bag hidden in my makeup purse. ) but was more concerned about the money.

she just zip my bag for me jeje.

Oya; who is ready to change. im not dashing anybody. not even coco

Very fine thank you *hugs*

edwife: Cococandy,cherie coco how are you darling?

Chillisauce: So I found these naira notes in my old stock . About 10k. Abeg how I wan use change am to better money. I hope all bills are still acceptable.
Edwife
R123 Abi na 4
Efe.

Oya, come and take these notes . I'm broke

edwife: Hello everybody,wish y'all a good weekend.


@Efe i have a very nice interesting movie for you.Just holla me

Deliberately misunderstanding me. Are we?

I haven't said discussion is not the way forward.
In fact I did say and I paraphrase 'I find the peaceful method to be the best method most times'
Go back and read that again.

My only point is that the man should see it as wrong to buy props only in his name.
What's wrong is wrong.
All this dancing around won't change that it is wrong!!!
And such a man might even want family to intervene or most extremely for family lawyers to be involved before he agrees to do the right thing..

If you ask me,any man that has to wait until he's told before he knows that his wife's name should be on their property deeds wants to be begged and will most likely refuse even after he's begged.


Would he be relaxed if all the deed were in the woman's name? I mean he should relax since everything they own is theirs by marriage so even if it's in the woman's name it's no biggie.they are one aren't they?.

crackhaus: Na wah oo, how does having a discussion with one's husband amount to cajoling and begging again?

@emboldened, a reasonable man already knows that whatever he owns is also his wife's by reason of marriage. A woman should know this too, but if having her name written in ink on paper is what she uses as a criteria, then she should find a way to talk about it with her husband...simple!

I mean if for some reason a woman notices that her husband is not including her name in the documents, is it not to have a discussion that is left to do?
As in the OP and in such a situation, what else is left for the wife to do? Is it not to talk to her husband about it?

So because in your mind it feels like you would be begging and cajoling, this means a woman should not bring it up when necessary? You're funny
If the woman in the OP had brought up the discussion about including her name on documents long before now, will she be in this much stress over inheritance after 8years?


I'm sorr y to say, but the emboldened text is more of a reflection on the kind of person who would see a discussion with their spouse as begging and cajoling.

@crackhaus.

Maybe you didn't read my first questions.
I said if they both contributed to the family welfare even if the man was the one who's income was used to buy the props. Then there should be no question about her name on the deeds.
All the examples I gave were ideal situations where both parties agreed to work together (be it home or outside work) for the family progress but then the man buys the stuff in his name only because that's the area his own contribtution is chaneled to.
You initially said he didn't have to include her name unless he wanted to.
But
You ended up agreeing with me.
While trying to make it seem like I'm giving gold diggers a free pass to wealthy men's sweat.

I never implied that I can marry Bill Gates tomorrow and automatically own half his wealth.



The statement you striked was implied.
Although I didn't say you did. I've been reading other comments too. So why did you assume I think you implied it?

Anyway
If the man doesn't know by himself that whatever they own belongs to both of them.
All those 'sit him down gently and talk,discuss,make him see reason,be polite and respectful etc etc amounts to cajoling and begging.

Not saying it's not the right approach. Most times the peaceful is the best way.
But it doesn't change the fact that devicing means and methods to tell someone to do the right thing amounts to begging them to do the right.