₦airaland Forum

Well said

Klass99:
You have answered a part of your question. It is a compatibility issue in some instances, for example why the hell would you want to get hitched or attached to someone who;

1. Is a messy and untidy individual
2. Has a poor attitude to bills, as in, they can owe for Africa when it’s time to pay bills like electricity, service charge etc
3. Is unreliable and rarely follows through on what they said they would do and………
4. Has a host of other issues.

On another hand, some singles value their independence, the freedom and peace of mind that comes with it and they genuinely struggle with giving it up.

It is not freedom to fuucck around or sample different diicks like fools often assume, but it is the freedom to create your daily life routine the way you want it, the freedom to pursue goals unencumbered like a Masters or Ph.D, freedom to take crazy risks with your career/work life and other risks worth taking, without hesitation or a second thought - just to test your capabilities and see where it all leads to.

The peace of mind which comes from not having to deal with troublesome in-laws. Peace of mind from not worrying about kids when they’ve gone off to boarding school and peace of mind from not worrying about what hubby or wifey is doing behind your back, when your instincts keep screaming, I can’t trust this person.

Let me try and explain this further;

1. Aisha for instance has lived on her own for 8 years or more, works a good job, is able to pay her bills without drama, is used to a daily routine she cherishes and dreads having that routine up ended by others.

2. It’s a simple routine of when she wakes up, she has her quiet time/bible study, does her affirmations, works-out, showers and hits the road for work. She can sleep in, on weekends and wake up when she feels like, can choose to cook or not cook, have her girl-friends over for a weekend stay etc.

3. Aisha also has a warm/caring family and a wonderful circle of friends in her life, she feels blessed, content and pleased with life. She is not in a hurry to give up a life she is reasonably happy with for the unknown.

WoundedLamb:
If the guy invited them to lunch with him in an expensive hotel only to run away after they're done eating, then he's not a "smart guy", he's just wicked. Those ladies wouldn't normally go to that hotel to eat cause they don't have the money. Why invite them to eat there and then run away after they're done eating? That's not being smart, that's being wicked. Seems like a revenge plan for something they did in the past. If they were ordering more than you could pay for, stop them instantly. That's more decent than this.

Secondly, the people recording them were just being unnecessarily wicked too. It seems people your fellow men derive joy from seeing others in difficult situations.

Finally, people should learn to eat as much as they can pay for when invited to lunch. We know the expression "invite to lunch" implies the person who invited the other is playing the host role (i.e. paying) but this is not the first time this kind of stuff is happening.

As evidenced by their thread too

But thanks for not being an asshole

SmellySperm:
She's not washing to get paid bro. They'll be washing till they get the money as punishment

And the point is what? Punishment for what? To exercise your hatred of women.
Disgusting

oluwaseyi0:
Seems you didn't get smellysperm argument

They will pay the money in full, the washing of toilet is just the hotel interest/Jara not a substitute for the money

Instead of just sitting idle while calling their friends and enemy they will be washing shit toilet and be calling people to help them pay the full amount

And the point is what? To exercise your hatred of women?

Imagine thinking that a woman getting her fair share of the family wealth is punishment to the man
Or complaining about child support for your own kids?

Not to mention the belittling of her reproductive and nurturing role in the family. Without which the human race would go extinct.

And.... the fact that many women in this day and age work and make money to support the family. Yet in a divorce you feel she deserves nothing.

The world is ending because y’all are not allowed to treat women like garbage without consequences?
I can’t with y’all. Seriously.

blasterman:
I am not against marriage but my issue is the western world punishing men financially-(most times) for marrying.

She can be the laziest woman in the world and the only hard thing she did was push out a baby. she is already entitled to half of your wealth and more.

She can complain about u working and not spending time with her but the government will want to pay her from ur sweat regardless

i never even mention child support

Vision101:
@me
All these long grammar is because of few of you that earn little change. The greater majority of you only submit your Vmobile. Majority of men have been submitting their all by footing all bills since the days of father Abraham without making noise.

Women are really stingy.

Quit complaining about a rule that men made.

RightToReject:
Gamophobia is likely the cause. He's likely not a weakling as some might assume, so he's consciously and voluntarily benevolent to you. You likely did not violate any of his relationship dealbreak while the relationship lasted until he called it a quit, so as much as he is not emotionally connected to you, he, however, admires you mentally.

Yes that might be it too.

I know I could theoretically help an ex if there’s no bitterness involved

See some people even had the same thoughts.
OP be sharp

GreatOlu1:
He is trying to clear his conscience. He will stop as soon as he doesn't feel guilty anymore.

Paul6P5:
The following reasons can be it dear;

Please Note:
This are all from a different school of thought, take it with a pich of salt.

1) He probably has contacted a deadly virus like AIDS/HIV and had transfer into to you through sex. After he noticed what has happened, he bailed out of the ship and gave you a life jacket, so you won't drown, he has a soft heart and don't want to have a guilty conscience.

He is feeling guilty and ended the relationship and keeps sending you money as part of his social responsibility to you, a little form of compensation to aid you in the battle ahead.

He might be feeling guilty about something. Have you done STD tests?
You might find out something much later and you won’t be able to pin it on him since you haven’t been together in a while.
Not saying that’s surely the case but just give it a thought

blasterman:
i can get a nanny or help for that abeg

Worse case there are grandmothers

For business me and my friend want to start bizness we are contributing money and ideas wetin concern wife in that. she has no investment watsoever-mental or financial

Well then do get a nanny who will also give birth to the child and nurse it to survival. Maybe the grandmother might even be the one to have the babies (the world is strange enough). There’s only so much those kinds of people can contribute when they are not the actual birth mothers. Stop minimizing women’s part in building the family just because of internalized misogyny.

Your best bet is to not have a family at all. As long as you decide to build a family, your partner is part of your success because without him or her, your family can’t stand and if your family can’t stand, your business will encounter set backs or maybe even failure .

Just don’t marry and dedicate your life to the business, that way you won’t have anyone who contributed to your well-being and success. And you won’t have anyone entitled to the dividends of those contributions. Simple

quickly:
America is even worse if you are married they will force you to put your wife’s name of the deed and c of o.

If you want to start a business and u are married and you want to start llc they will force you to put ur wife’s names as part own.

Even if she don’t have anything to do with the bizness.

How will she not have anything to do with the house or business? Do you people even really think about all this before posting?
If your wife is not available to take care of your home and kids, do you think you can be successful doing all of that by yourself?
I just want to understand why y’all are so comfortable dismissing women’s contributions to the family progress

Here’s comes all the single boys with advice for married men

Oh really? It’s like that now?

Ridiculous question. Insert eye roll

She’s pretty young. Must have been a child victim

Vision101:
cococandy
Are you going to be submitting yours as well?



@me
If he submits his own it means there are two equal masters. But this is not the case. The lower will have to submit to the higher master. After all the Bible enjoined wives to submit to their husbands.

The same Bible that curses you if you don’t provide? That’s the one you want to use and justify making your wife your slave to go labor for you and provide the money to you? God has suffered.
What happens after she submits the money to you? You give her stipend from it?
Or she comes to you to beg for some of her money when she needs new underwear and perfume?

If there’s no equitable sharing, I’m not interested.
From the beginning of time na wayo people all of una be.

The man must submit his money if he expects his wife to. What I recommend is joint account. Completely accessible by both partners as equal owners of the money. No his money her money but our money. If you don’t like it, bye. Or we keep separate accounts and the man doesn’t ask the wife to submit hers. See nonsense

He learned it from nairaland

WTF!!!

She was sentenced to 18 months of corrective labour and ordered to pay around £2,000 in “moral damages”, reported Life.

This is a ridiculous sentence. I hope the man has a family that can challenge this stupid sentence and seek justice for him

OP so sorry for your loss.
But I have to tell you that just because they couldn’t diagnose her doesn’t mean someone killed her. That thought could hinder your healing process by filling you with anger and helplessness.
Sometimes illnesses defy diagnosis. It’s a huge loss that will take time to heal. Sorry love

Are you going to be submitting yours as well?

BRATISLAVA:
I guess I misinterpreted the stethoscope. Sorry about that. I'll modify that.

you didn’t necessarily misinterpret it. I’m in healthcare but not specialized in mental health. (At least not yet). You never know what the future holds

Clinical experience? I’m flattered but nope

BRATISLAVA:
7 whole years?

I'm not a therapist, so I cannot counsel you. But you need to get out of any relationship that makes you depressed. I'm sure you're with a narcissist who uses jealousy to control you. You're probably already isolated and think there's no way out of it. If you are/aren't married, get employed and stop depending on her. You're losing your joy over something that you don't need. A relationship isn't supposed to be your saving grace. Love isn't oppressive.

@ Cococandy , please do you have any clinical experience that may help him? Mindlog, too.

armyofone:
Lol me sef no go do
What? Imagine I can't say babes, please I need/want peppermint and chamomile tea without him looking at me with bad eyes cuz he go work come back ?

As you should!

If it’s not this formula, I no dey do.

armyofone:
I understand - not everyone can combine both. Some women are holding down full time job while raising their kids with little help here and there.
For me, i don't think women should leave the money making to their husbands - all hands on deck. We both would work, take care of the home and raise our kids together. Nothing should be solely for one person - we will work together pooling resources as a team and care for the children together.

Your post made me laugh

Excellent.

Emphasis on the astounding hypocrisy.

bukhety:
There is a problem with what the society except as the role of a man and a woman in marriage. It's been taught in families and religious centers. In fact some women pray to meet a rich husband and most men are not taught to do house chores. Afterall, it's a girls work. She must end in the kitchen.

All these cannot stand in today's economic realities.
With the kind of jobs out there where some graduates are been paid less than 50k, how can he(the husband) cope without help?
If the woman works, most men will still expect her to do all the house work! Shebi it's her job to care for me !

If a woman is making her money jeje to support the family and her husband is helping with house chores, see as people will be quick to say 'she don give him vegetable' or tag her feminist.
What do we want gangan?

It's high time we drop our hypocrisy and realize marriage is a team work where we support each other. And we help each other to achieve our full potentials.

Let's start changing our narratives by changing our children's mind set.

Modified!

You can imagine this attached quote!

You’re speaking to an ethnic bigot. There’s no room for dialogue there. You can’t reason with hate

yanabasee1:
I've never thought that a day will come that I will finally have to quote you....



You posted pictures of people arrested since 2020... And the op said they were arrested last Sunday...just two days ago...

There's what we called parakpo in Yoruba...And almost every tribe observe it ..Even those outside their village or town... They gather to identify themselves and to give help or assistance when need be...

Why can't these people gather? Because a faction of them is seeking for a break out? You refused letting them go and in turn try to dictate and proscribe them as terrorist group..But you will never proscribe Herdsmen killing people and carrying weapons around untouched...


What is really your problem? You refused them almost everything and yet try to frustrate them and kill them at will...Sending military battalion to massacre them in the name of operation....

Trying to depopulate them won't stop them from seeking to break out...
Try and be reasonable...

I am from the SouthSouth and I wish for restructuring and or a break out from this country....

Nothing to add

WoundedLamb:
I'll keep saying the same thing, the orientation we give the boy child today determines the man he'll become tomorrow. This idea of giving males laissez-faire treatment while focusing on the girl child, where she is going, what she's wearing, how she cooks and who she talks to, etc. only gives rise to men who believe women exist just to satisfy them and women whose purpose in life is to get a husband.

Let's start holding men accountable, both old and young. A man who is into yahoo is not a sharp guy but a thief. A man who sleeps with olosho is an olosho. A married man who sleeps with other ladies should be condemned. Davido is not "my guy" while Chioma is a hoe. Boys who go about harrasing ladies should be called out. Let's start measuring a woman's success by her achievements and not her marital status. This isn’t anti-men, I am a man. This is me asking y'all not to raise the beast that will devour you.

mirinder:
is it your favourite drink

I like it

mirinder:
warm and exquisite meal

Your moniker reminds me of Mirinda

I want

OP you did awesome

Reelz:
once I saw the headline, i knew instantly that it's gonna be a Blackman. Racist induced Judgment is so wrong. same thing happening in Nigeria where a minority Fulani race wants to dominate all. it's a shame.

They just executed a black man last week (or so) in a case where they refused to admit DNA evidence in court. Years from now we will find out he was innocent

And they should jail the racist police man and every one else involved in the false allegation