₦airaland Forum

Wondering why this BIL can’t take care of his own child. This pattern of children losing a mom to illness or something similar and losing a dad too because the dad can’t do the parenting and then getting shipped from house to house is getting old. children are the ones who suffer for it.

When you tell them to learn things that can help them be hands-on dads, it sounds as if you hate them.
How does this man even feel about not living with his own child? He’s okay with having someone else take her because he can’t feed her, keep her clean etc.?

So what’s next? He will move on with someone and start having children he can’t take care of too.
There’s more to being a parent than sending money for school fees.

I just have a personal experience with this and the annoyance is still fresh. And some wonder why children value their moms more. When that’s the only parent they ever truly had.

#rantover

MMXX:
As a woman you sef read what you wrote na.So you mean if they were blessed with one more child they'll find it difficult to raise.Obviously not na,so simply assume that child to be yours and it becomes easier

What to eat,what to wear all boils down to financial worries/burden for him, which it's been suggested he seek that from the childs father

As a woman, I’ll be wise to have the number of children I can’t physically and mentally cater to. Assume indeed. Why is it so easy for some of you fellas to make light of issues regarding childcare and what it takes to do it?

You have absolutely no idea what it takes and what’s involved. So please keep quiet on this issue let the person who will actually be sacrificing her sleep, peace of mind, time and energy make the decision.

Actually a lot more difficult. Children are individual human beings with different traits. They don’t all eat the same things. Or like the same things. Or sleep at the same time.
Caring for them is not one size fits all.
But I guess since you added a photo to your comment, then you must be right.

What do I know ?

MMXX:
How much more difficult can that be for the woman seeing that man says she has children of same age.

It's not rocket science na.na wa o

The father is alive and healthy

Curiouscity:
Bro, brave up and do it as if you are doing it to God, assuming you believe that there is one.

It is not like the mom and dad are alive and healthy , yet the want you to help them. A 2 year old kid doesn't eat much. If you are too worried, your parents inlaws can provide clothing and diapers(if required).

My parents took in many cousins of mine whose parents were divorced, dead or critically ill. They were not rich,but God blessed them.

MMXX:
It shouldn't be so difficult for your wife to take care of her niece after all her children are of the same age that should make it more easier . Seems like the only issue here is the financial burden,you no wan train another man pikin at your own detriment. Simply ask the father to make financial provision for his daughter pending when they resolve the whole case

Izza simply sturv

Have you ever raised a small child?

Always talking about things they don’t know

MusaChukwudi:
Shut up ma! Men are born free!

and women are born slaves. Understood

Why should she come visit? When everyone expects her to be raped when she visits a man?

Or he can zip up and keep his vows.
See how easy that is?

ezugegere:
You can help her get a divorce lawyer

That’s why I don’t pity Nigerian men who get cheated on. In one way or another many of them support cheating when it’s a man.

CHoccolaTE:
Nigerian women are really suffering in marriages o.
Just imagine if a man fell sick and couldn't provide or sexually satisfy his wife and she decided to flirt around because she needs attention. Nobody will ever advice the man to ignore her and focus on his health instead

Irony is that adultery is forbidden to both men and women but men are hypocrites that think cheating is their birthright. Why the hell must he flirt with another woman when he has a wife? Instead of being there for her and helping to nurse her back to health he is looking for love elsewhere.

But he can bring aids and co home

I’m guessing being married is a price and such disrespect is nothing as long as she’s married.
Disgusting

Vortex369:
You are married - check
You have kids - check
You are pregnant - check
You still feel you should be fuccking your husband even though you are pregnant - madness
You still feel insecure even when the man is pitying your condition and pains and wants a side chic to satisfy his urges, so you can rest - madness.

You want my advise?

You have all that you need, the side chic will not take the dickk away, focus on your preggy and the home and the man will always come back to you after safe delivery.

Your husband will cheat, always understand that, but he will not abandon you.

Add faithfulness to it.

He’s doing everything because she’s sick. It’s for better for worse.
He can still do everything and still be faithful to her. It’s not rocket science

ezugegere:
Didn't you read where she said her husband does all the work at home? How else do you want him to be there for her?

Look at all the posts telling her it’s okay for her husband to mess with her feelings by flirting with someone else.

Fvckmoderators:
It was one of their siblings that naturalized over there as in he wasnt even born in Yankee although this was shortly before Trump became president. Don't know about now.

If your cousins went on a student visa, then that’s probably why it took less time.

Immigrant visa which gives a green card on approval takes no less than 10 years if the sponsor is a sibling.

Marriage doesn’t benefit men yet y’all here creating endless threads looking for wives. Smh

Fvckmoderators:
It doesn't have to reach 10 years.

I have cousins that migrated within 2 years despite having naked passport and no be say dem get money.

Was it their siblings who applied for them?

shogsman:
Apart from boyfriend and money there is nothing else nothing else inside the head of a Nigerian girl.

shut up

You were making sense until you started talking nonsense about virginity and body count. That’s just stupid talk.

No one’s value depends on who they slept with. If it’s that way, then most men must be worthless.

Also the worth of a person should have nothing to do with how much their father decided to ask the groom to pay. Unless you’re thinking of it as purchasing a commodity.

chriskosherbal:
At the bolded am really surprise a man can talk like this, so those who married for lesser than that amount are no longer having a harmonious marriage right, so money or higher bride price is the only factor that qualifies an individual to have blissful or be ready for marriage, are you 4 real, I call this misplaced priorities, one will expect this generation to have grown above this outdated lifestyle and embrace dynamism calling for a total downward review concerning marrying an IBO lady.

Go ask IBO guys who married from other tribes weather the women they married are of lesser value, or did they produce children with one eye, ear or no nose children, what makes an IBO lady so special and different to warrant/attract such an exorbitant/unnecessary amount that causes men to break bank on thier behalf.

Think of it, this is the reason why other values that are supposed to be considered in marriage or before marriage are thrown in the trash can & money considered as the only base irrespective how the money was made, a total deviation & variance of marital values is what is being practiced.

Reading all the comments from most of the females just show were our loyalty now lies and we all expect money to do the magic in bringing about the so called blissful marital Union, it doesn't work that way my dear, factors such as compatibility, love, understanding/chemistry, tolerance have all now been measured using the money ruler, and these same ladies are the first to cry out opening thread upon thread when thier marriage hits the rock irrespective of the presence of cash.

Nobody is saying money is not necessary in marriage, and who says money can't be made inside or after marriage, but placing half a million on a lady just for bride price (who is not even a Virgin, with countless body counts, & abortions not that we are using it as a yadstick) is totally unheard-of and just shows the level moral decadence in stock for generation to come if nothing is done about it..for Pete's sake am not acquiring a property or going into real estate, i can as well secure certificate of occupancy c/o to seal the deal, am just getting married.

Man wen e go value e wife Go value e wife irrespective of how much he spent on Bride price .

Peace .

Your sibling can apply for you to emigrate to the USA. But the processing/wait time is about 10 years.

jeff1607:
You read my mind

Preetychina22:
You're wise, the story doesn't really add up.

jeff1607:
You read my mind

Thiwalade:
fear women

Even if she took her clothes off willingly, does that give him right to video her and send to his friends?
Not to mention the rape and attempted murder?

Some of you think that once a woman is close to them, that’s a license to abuse her.

Even if she took her clothes off willingly, does that give him right to video her and send to his friends?
Not to mention the rape and attempted murder?

Some of you think that once a woman is close to them, that’s a license to abuse her.

chukel:
Anybody who read the story would know the girl is a big liar. The story doesnt add up. The guy soaked her clothes in water and snapped her nude and even recorded a video. Lies. Did he force the clothes off her body? She just came to his house, quietly watched him remove her clothes including pant if she wore any, then soaked them. Note she visited him. She also claimed she gave him 18k to buy a phone for her. Why would anyone give a cobbler money to buy phone. Is he a phone seller? How will a graduate give a cobbler money to buy phone for her. This is love affair gone wrong and she decided to frame him up. everything was consensual

Kelechi009:
It can feel very hurtful marrying a community penis meanwhile I kept myself before marriage.

That’s understandable and I agree. Still, being good or bad encompasses more than past sexual behavior. You might have kept yourself before marriage. That doesn’t make you a good person nor does it make him a bad person for having been sexually active.

Actually date whomever you want to marry and see for yourself their behaviors , their convictions, how they treat other people (very important), and if they fit into your future plans. etc.

This is something that anyone can do whether they have been sexually conservative or not.

I would go for the job if I were you and train on the side at your own pace. Like those above me have said, all those plenty certificates after only 8 months training doesn’t should legit.

And even if they are recognized, how much would you really have learned by the time you graduate? Or you just want a certificate that says you have such and such qualifications while in reality you can’t personally measure up to the skills described in your qualifications?

thundafire:
She should be hanged from her clitoris using hooks and finger her till she dies

Because this thread is an avenue to come and expose your perversion right?

tiredoflife:
There is no case
A child can not take care of a child

a 16 year old is mature enough to babysit a 2 year old. Are you alright?

anoziechi:
the madam fit dey maltreat the girl

and??

But she’s dead .

greygoblings:
That's what happens when you are too aggressive with little children. I am sure the maid didn't intend to kill the child

Why is a good husband the reward for being “good”?

You will always feel disappointment when you feel that your reward should be another perfect human being.

Whatever being good means to you, you should be that for yourself and your personal convictions not to acquire another human being.

Jaubdu:
.If you can handle online relationship,others can. So you have your answer. Beside need an homemade girl not a fan to foreign babe

Can or can’t?

Anyway keep searching. Maybe you’ll find one that will manage you and your bad mouth .

Nairaface:
Hmm...

I think they might be this way at home too. But I like your optimism.

and you need to post more often

Sterope:
What a silly opinion!

hilarious.

Obviously fabricated story. Very funny.

And funnier are the fabricated accounts that will post on this with their main moniker and come back to support you with their fake account.

Nairaland

You’re minding that one

Sterope:
Really?

I thought a SIL is like a son to his in laws like the way his wife is like a daughter to his parents. Heaven forbid if genders were reversed! Do as I say not Do as I do!