₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
Is it physical abuse if I slap someone who is insulting me repeatedly because I stepped on them?

I think not.

Telling people to return verbal for verbal is very unrealistic. Not everyone have the same prowness with words . Some people cannot talk when angry and abused and react. Some people are unfortunately not in a position to react and lock up all the emotions till they become twisted.

I will say a lot of twisted people is because they could not retaliate to their abuser (verbal/physical) the way they deemed fit

. I remember a stammer in secondary school. She was big and obviously used her fits when people started insulting her to a point she cannot bear; that was her leverage. Anytime she couldn't retaliate (maybe a senior or she was held done), you need to see the way she was shaking and sometimes break down in bitter tears. She obviously couldn't engage in words and was denied the only outlet she could express herself.

The best is for people to watch their mouth and keep their hands to themselves.

If in anger you say one or two things and do not have the sense to quickly apologize, be ready to face the consequences of your actions.

Trying to regulate people's responses to verbal abuse is not realistic. That is why there are 'crimes of passion.'

bukatyne:
Many people have felt worthless and committed suicide because of verbal abuse.

Many people have withered and died because of the words of their loved ones (spouses, parents, friends etc.)

One of my teachers told me I would not pass a subject in WAEC because I never passed it in school. On the day of that WAEC paper, she told me I was getting a different result and would fail just as she predicted. I still remember almost 20yrs later. Miraculously, I passed that subject. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't. I am sure that same teacher has been me several times, funny because I can't remember. But those her words, I can never forget. Even the setting it was said.

Because I have the 'ability' or 'adaptation' to zone out when people are saying what I do not want to hear (which can be a negative because I almost can't recount verbal convos after 20mins), I used to think verbal abuse wasn't all that.

The human soul is like a flower; negative words and beatings makes a person wither. It is just because the effect of physiacal abuse is quickly seen and affects women more so it seems worse.

I have seen many broken people from words. I have seen people soak in my little words of affirmation and appreciation that I know they are starved of it.

Words especially are the entrance to the human soul: You read books to develop your mind, you listen to songs and teachings, for religious people, they go to their place of worship and listen to their leaders or meditate on their religious books. For hypnosis, words are used.

That's why our lovers want to hear we love them, care for them bla bla.

What we say out of our mouth is extremely powerful and either builds or destroy.

hxijkddq55:
Now they are pleading I consider Nursing, according to them, I stand a higher chance of getting a job in a nursing profession to psychology. They are planning on sending me out of the country after the program. Should I just dash off my dream of becoming a lecturer to pursue nursing?.

bukatyne:
Violence does not start at the first blow.

It starts at the first word said with the intent to break the other person.

Akposy:
Cococandy...after seeing you add broccoli to your dishes, I decided to try it. I saw it at a popular market here. The man said 200 last for the small one. I was confused on how to wash and cook.
Well, I washed under running tap water, cooked in salted water for about 5 minutes. It tasted nice though...... 24hrs later I was purging for over 12hrs non stop o..I thought i will die of dehydration. I lost both my strength and appetite (thanks to Zimotil and Oral rehydration salt)

After recovery, I decided to launch my appetite with this chunky and spicy okra soup and eba! It did justice to my taste buds.

@eyinjuege. That spaghetti is inviting! The pot is also lit. Well done

Where's Chef Prestonn Chaser and MariaAngeles

nuelyoyo:
Nobody raped her. Read her story again, this time, slowly.

cheenway:
Am I a fool to bring something as delicate as this here if it were to be me in the picture.

If you must know, it's a copied post from fb

Ode!

doitforyou:
Or one of those that calls a 30 y/o Nigerian girl an “evening newspaper”.

Fountainofyouth:
This just gave you away, you swear on your fathers grave but your father is alive and sick as you said above, probably your real dad is dead, cos we all know you're a guy posing as whatever, you try.

Yummymummy07:
thanks , I love my sisters and I don’t think I will be able to tell them , all I want to do is to move away far from them , I don’t have the strength to break their marriage and I don’t want their marriages to break too. I will find a church and confess my sins to God and start my life afresh. I don’t want anything to do with any of them , the shame is too much and can not longer r lives with this shame.

Jaonnyster:
Lovely

RisenPhoenix:
That really was not my intention as I am indifferent to what place she is in. I just prefer logical discussions over ad hominem arguments; and bitter extremist ideologies are not at all to my taste. If she had maturely and logically presented her own opinion as to why my view is wrong rather than attack me, she might have more effectively achieved her stated aim of 'educating me'.

CHoccolaTE:
When it comes to arguing against women nairaland men argue anywhere belle face

They are always confused

Yesterday they thought women must bring heaven and earth to the table today they see women contributing financially as a hobby, not a thing of importance

they will come back tomorrow to claim a woman is under obligation to financially support her husband otherwise she is a liability

Confused lot

armyofone:
Since no emergency # to call, she did the right thing calling someone else to come take her out of abusive environment!
Op - take note of one simple rule in a relationship - always info your partner what time you will be coming or if running late...a married man with a seven month old baby staying out till 2am kuku sleep there now.
What happened to leaving at 9pm or 10pm ?
Too much entitlement instead of commitment. You should have called on your way home and apologized while gisting her of what happened at the party that kept you late etc
You guys don't know how to love someone!!
Please get your priority right!

Fountainofyouth:
And as usual, no one is saying we should hear her side of the story, especially the males here, we don't even know if it was multiple slaps cos ordinary slap can't make one bleed, except it's a thunder reseting one sha, still, we don't know her story, so let's not judge yet, unlike men dem already judging the wife, if Op was the wife, we all know how most male comments here will be.

Nnemuka:

Tears of joy

Thank you for this post...

Uwaomaokey:
Person go kpeme for here oh.
I just love spag.

RisenPhoenix:
I don't put any personal value on a lady's civility. If she's civil, it's to her benefit not mine. And if she's uncouth, it's to her detriment not mine. Your write ups and way of thinking are nowhere near the category of those I would ever consider educative, thanks all the same.
Pass please.

sassysure:
It's been really long I made this.
Come and chaw, guys

ThisisIkemefuna:
You dey enjoy life oo my sister. I wish I fit just smile like you people here one day. My life right now, passing through tumbles

RisenPhoenix:
I was kind of pointing out the advantages from the op's point of view. I understand he's a man. There is no doubt that women have the greater advantage in getting married. As for the clear career disadvantages to a woman, I do not consider those a minus. Unlike a man, a woman's career is a trifling hobby, not a responsibility . I believe in a man's responsibility for taking care of ALL the home's expenses. Any man who expects his wife to contribute to the household expenses has no right to gripe over the problems of marriage.
.

Prestonn:
Have this