femi4:
Nonsense......you own the G spot, locate it yourself. That's not my job

Bruv, most of them no even know where their own G spot dey.
That's the problem...

nunnu:


EVEN AT THAT, THEY WILL STILL COMPLAIN THAT YOU INDULGED THEM TOO MUCH THAT WAS WHY THE ENDED UP USELESS.

This is true.

Liliantalks:
I agree but those men won’t pick such women , who they may believe to be challenging over their decisions, or feel intimidated by

I am not one of such men.

And even broke women can have very nasty, controlling, and entitled attitudes too.
You can see a lot of them on Nairaland.

JourneytoEL:
its still society. You are more likely to see women ready to change the narrative amongst the upper class members of the nigerian society, but you the middle class and lower class ehn, i have personally met women who told me who feminism epp, they prefer the present state of things where they wait for a man to bring money to their feet.

Lmao..you have completely turned facts on its head just to make a flawed point.

Name one Nigerian woman belonging to the economic upper class who identifies and vocalizes as a feminist.

Feminism in Nigeria is the tonic for women who grew up in poor/less than average homes.
A woman who from childhood had always been exposed to the best education, the best opportunities, unlimited funds from daddy/mummy, these are the ones that never needed feminism to be anything - they already had access to the things women like you think feminism will achieve for you.

While you're right that a woman from the upper class will not be seeking desperately to marry a man who will increase her financial status, she still won't marry down.
Her ideal man will be from the same circle, and this also proves that nothing has changed.

If women really think change has come, they would marry men with less financial weight regardless of their status... because from the ages, it's always been men marrying down.

The only change women want is on the part of men, not themselves...and that will not work.
It's either all of us remain primitive, or all of us become modern.

sassysure:

Shit
Have u seen marine spirit before
Crackhhaus, fear God

This mouth of urs,eeehe.
Jeez!

Na dem full everywhere oo

sassysure:
.
Okoro

U like sweet things too well.

When I joined this forum, there was a topic like this by babyosisi. She gave out great ideas on how to spice things up in the bedroom.
Ladies went wild with various bedmatic ideas.
Nairaland then, I do miss it.

I even pity the men in their lives
I miss that woman.
All the ladies there don't even care about the men but how to fulfil their sexual fantasies on top their men bodies which of course their men love.

A lot of them don't know this, and they wonder why reaching an orgasm is like the tip of the Burj Khalifa to them.

Na only to dey make funny sounds like marine spirit dem sabi...

pocohantas:


Why going to quote comment of hours ago?

Trying to prove a point that you are here and ignoring?

Na wah.

Come, local champion... what do you want?

bukatyne:


Ok.

Do you want to solve the problem permanently and live in love, harmony and planning together

OR

Do you want to solve the problem with a temporary equally damaging measure and live with bitterness in your heart like a 'Nigerian wife?'

Does buying the land change the fact that his family is capitalizing on his sense of 'duty' to suck him dry and leaving you to pick up the bills you are currently complaining about?

The choice is yours ma'am.

Like a "woke" Nigerian wife.

johnkey:
yeah the cycle goes on that's why I'm here playing my part on some people's wives. But I catch my wife cheating she's out that same night no story.

Lol..

bukatyne:


As in!

You think 'I am not going to do this, I will be more patient, more woke' and gbam! you are doing it.

NL will still be alive.

I enjoyed my mom's parenting style with very minor tweaks though.

You know..

The thing is, unless you want to be a 'yes son', 'okay son', 'whatever you want son' kind of parent, there'll always be something you do that will cause a child to think you're not doing it right.

Anni3e:
Nigerian women are cave women, how many men provide entirely for the home ?
Have you gone to any all Nigerian family to ascertain it is only men that provide for the family?
I see all you live for, is fighting gender wars on Nairaland and having arguments, don't try to bring that into this thread.

All this hyperventilation because you're not sharing bills with your husband. How is that my fault?

If you were really a provider and not one of the cave women, I see no reason why you should feel insulted by my comment.

Orgasmcoach:
lol, Soo funny but the matter no funny ooo! A woman of 45 contacted me and said she has never experienced orgasm in her life and I was like, wtf? I looked at her depressed face and felt so sorry for her.

on top all the hardship in Nigeria, been a wife and mum, adding cumlessness to it is not acceptable biko

it is her right to get sexually fufilment from her husband, ok? Do you even know what it feels like, having sex without Cumming? men take this thing for a joke ooo. Imagine having sex as a man for 2 years without releasing.

only men who don't know how to go about it go the "harder, harder" route.

Her problem, just like most women who have never experienced it, is that they don't even know their body enough to get themselves to orgasm.
Even if you give them iron sponge to scrub, they still won't know what to do or how to go about it...so depression will continue to plague them forever due to lack of orgasm.

Read Sassysure's comment and see woman wey know what's up. I don't know what kind of orgasm coach you are sef, you don win Nation's cup before?

sassysure:

They don ban you again.
Everyday fight fight.

U dey like this kain topic wella

I no even fight oo.. I was defending Bukatyne from some ratchet reptiles laikdat


@bold, you no see how my heart dey beat for your other comment

sassysure:


As much as I know this is all made up, let me correct some misleading assumptions we women always "carry for head enter bed with their husbands".
U are responsible for your own orgasms. U want to reach heaven, e dey your hand. Your man is just the helper.

Sometimes, u can even work yourself and your man off.
In this age of crazy romance novels, movies or what have you, u learn how to take charge of the game in the bedroom.
That you are even doing that will spur your man into action.

Must it always be you you all the time. Sometimes, be selfless and do all the work. I have noticed that nothing endeared men to their women like watching them in action, as if they are drunk. Do that and when u want him to participate, show him what to do.
Hian!

As long as there is sexual attraction between you two, take what belong to u.

It's always said that women should endeavour to behave like high class prostitutes in the bedroom to hold their men permanently bound to them.
If u don't know how prostitutes behave, watch porn.

Kai... Kill me

Una own children go still complain about una own style of parenting.

Just wait small...

Acidosis:
Lol. You people don't want to share the bill again?

How much do you spend on school fees and food? Like you said, he pays the rent and drop housekeep money sometimes. Rents are on the high lately.

I'm sure he helps out with chores and babysitting. Most firstborns are hardworking after all.

School fees + foodstuff + chores = Rent + foodstuff + chores.

The only issue you have is that he spends on his siblings (so start spending on your siblings too to balance the equation).

Now that you want to buy a land and build in your name, can he stops paying rent? He needs to buy a land and start buying.

In 2020, Nigerian women still don't want to share bills equally...they'd rather behave like their primitive fore-mothers.
They ought to take a cue and learn from women who are civilized.

Times have changed but they'd rather remain cave women.

Orgasmcoach:
you see? this is where men are getting it wrong..... it costs nothing to make her cum because sweating and tiring yourselves out by humping and thrusting your penis endlessly in your woman does not mean you are giving her the most pleasurable experience of a lifetime. Forget the "Oh-my -gods"!! She might just be saying it to get you the Bleep out of her asap! Don't be that annoying man

making her cum is very simple if a man can be humble enough to get the knowledge. it's just a typical case of "if you know, you know"

not knowing how is still the reason why men go on sex enhancement drugs just to impress her. it's a woman who does not know how to cum that will be moved by your endless humping and trusting. A woman who knows how far, will not even stress you on bed because 2-5 minutes of thrusting is enough

I think the marriage vow should include "...... to love and to hold, to make her cum.....". it is her right to cum! it is the job of a husband to make it happen

Oga/aunty coach, tell your female patients to learn how to climb and ride. By controlling the depth, rhythm, and direction, they will cum easily.
It is their cum, they MUST work for it and not just lie/bend over and spread nyansh.

A man is already responsible for his own orgasm, adding a woman's own to this responsibility means working two jobs but only getting work benefits for one.

No one is a donkey.

emmaodet:


You are right bro, 100% right.
Even in my line of work, the few ladies we have are all officers doing more or less office work like being on bridge operating advance computers and radio communication. None of them are into the rigorous jobs of cleaning, mopping, latching of mooring ropes and wires etc

And there is usually AC on the bridge abi, or at least a good view with fresh air. The work no dey strenuous.

JourneytoEL:
You are still saying the same thing with the op. that women are not in the battle front in nigeria dosen't mean it is so over the world. Remember, africa used to have the Dahomey female warriors,Queen Amina, Yaa Asantewa and many women who reached the frontline in battles. But, now, the average nigerian female believes she has no business there because that is what she was brought up believing. I am female and i hate to say this 80% of young female nigerians are not ambitious. They are very comfortable chatting on twitter,gossiping on blogs,looking beautiful and looking for the best kayanmata, attraction oil and other modified jazz to land them a good catch in the market. Even when they want to work they are very comfortable with competing with their fellow females by selling bags, shoes, hair,cream etc. This is because we grew up believing it is the work of men to hustle and be wealthy while it is our duty to "leech" on a wealthy man. We grew up watching cinderella and sleeping beauty where a prince must save you else you die. Even the few smart ones that enroll themselves in military are not interested in moving up the ranks and contributing seriously to the force, they rather stay gossiping and preparing food. Take a look at the movies we produce especially on africa magic epic, 90% of the storyline includes a poor village orphan girl will be suffering till she meets a rich man from the city that will marry her and change her life. the question is, why can't the poor orphan girl, write jamb, get a scholarship, get a good job or start a profitable business and take her damn self out of poverty? why must she wait for the rich prince?

So what is responsible for all that? Nature or society?


With all the talk about how times have changed, are Nigerian women really ready to change the above narrative, or should the change ONLY happen on the man's part?

Are Nigerian women really ready to stop waiting for men to deliver them by increasing their financial status? I don't think so...
Reality does not show it.

Nothing changed, it only evolved.

bukatyne:
Do these 'dangerous' young men carry this skill of satisfaction into marriage or does it die with them on the wedding night?

So we know if they will outlive their usefulness this generation or if it is a cycle.

Just curious.

Girlfriends don't stress/nag as much as wives.

Where will a man get the strength and patience to be Don Corleone of pucci, with all the responsibilities and expectations on his head as a husband/father?

Na who no get wetin to do or think of, go dey kill himself on top of woman to make her cum.

If a woman wants it, she should stand up, climb it and gerrit.

That woman is talking in the rubbish, she's hyperventilating in the nonsense...

You go provide for woman, take care of her financial needs, help her out with the chores...and on top of all this, they still want you to provide orgasm for them.
As what na? Is the man a work horse?


Madams out here, please work for your own orgasm.
Get on top of your man and ride him until you explode on your own.
Make e be say una still dey work hard for something that benefits only you.

Men did not come to this life to satisfy women.

Dainy1:
The worrisome part is he calls her everyday. There's no relationship but he can't let her be. He claim she's just a friend, but he's getting too familiar with this babe. He already has 3 ladies, we're trying to make a choice.

Lmao... A pussy-whipped nigga

Next question, how old is your friend?

Does he also call the other two ladies as often as he does this one?
If not, then he's definitely still in the fantasy phase. He will wake up as soon as he's overdosed on the kitty.

Leave him be, I know his type.

meetme01:

Men, please, let always put our wife's in the best position before our demise. Let them have a job and side hustle to enable cater for themselves and the kids. They are not meant to treated like slaves when we pass on. Our wife's should always be happy whenever we are no more. We shouldn't allow them regret getting married to us after millions of promises.

I love Mama. I love my Wife.

Let them? Why do we have to let them?

Isn't it basic that a wife should be earning enough to be able to cater for herself and her children, just in case her husband slumps and dies the next minute?

The real problem here is that too many Nigerian women want to depend on their husband's wealth, or rather they want to fall-back on it. They have no bigger ambition than this.
Thank goodness I was not brought up around women of this sort.

Some people are simply generous to a fault and I bet the OP's husband falls in this category. He's not the first of his kind, and as a matter of fact I have a personal experience with such but I'd rather not share here.

The success of men like him almost always depend on the kind of wife he has because it's only a woman who has no financial weight in the eyes of her husband that will have no influence over him when it comes to financial decisions. FACT.

A husband who knows that his wife is at a financial level close or equal to his, will not take her opinions lightly and will want to find a way to heed to her warnings - this is a simple truth most women still don't want to accept.

Dainy1:
What's your take on this?
A lady is carelessly have pre marrital sex with my friend. She doesn't ask him for money, my friend didn't ask her out. They just met in a car and that very day decided to meet later that day in his apartment and ended up having sex. Nothing attached, she doesn't care. She seems not to bother herself about marriage, relationship or anything, although she's a very nice lady, but my friend is worried. Could she be up to something? Or what do you think?

How old is she?

Although I've met a few ladies over 30, one even 36 who had this kind of behaviour - but characters like this are mostly associated with younger women.

I think your friend should enjoy it while it lasts, that's what I used to do when I was still in the world.
Just tell him to ensure he always uses protection and he must not catch feelings, there's a very high chance he's not the only one she's having sex with.

But if he intends to define the relationship and take it more seriously, he should talk to the chic and tell her he wants them to be exclusive.

emmaodet:

Even the so called women sent to war are always kept in the camp to prepare tea and other things for the male soldiers who go to the war front or hot zones and immediately they receive signal that rebels are defeating and approaching the camp which is mostly in the nearest barrack or camp in a town close to the war front, all women, children and female soldiers are evacuated to a farther barrack or camp in the town next.

Lol, I didn't even want to deal with that army example that was brought up earlier.

This is a discussion I've had with someone - a cousin, Major in the Nigerian Army who is stationed in the northern theatre, right at the epicenter of Boko Haram territory.

There are no women there, SIMPLE - it's not for argument.

That women are recruited into the army does not mean they are sent into battle and like you rightly pointed out, they are mostly stationed at camps and tasked with handling intel. Others are used to interrogate and thoroughly search females who have been captured.
The ones who have been trained in aerial surveillance will be flying above (still with a male co-pilot).


When it comes down to fighting at the front in any warzone (anywhere in the world) where soldiers spend weeks at a stretch in harsh conditions, they don't want to take a woman who may start seeing her period and then become deadweight to members of her team. Not to mention that even without that, women are just not as strong, fast, or have the stamina to match up with the men in such situations.
This is a weak-link no soldier wants to gamble on when you're faced between life and death.

Even well-trained dogs see more action on the battlefield than female soldiers.

And that is just one occupation, there are countless more like it.

Even you sef bruv, you're a sailor right... how many women dey your line of work?
As a crane operator, I've only ever met one female operator (she's not even Nigerian) and this is despite the fact that all we need to do to operate these giant machines, is move a few levers and press buttons.

Plead:

The bolded...must someone stay at home?

Not at all.

But you're asking the wrong question. Here are the right ones which you can ask your lady friends on the thread:

1. Are they comfortable being married to a man who contributes only 20% to the financial purse of the home while they contribute 80%?
2. When they are done birthing and nursing a child, are they comfortable having the man stay home to be the nanny and housekeeper while they go out to earn the bread?

All the above questions are for the long-term, not temporarily.

Note that it's women who are naturally the nannies, housekeepers, and less of the financial contributors.
So for anyone to even believe that times are changing (as y'all have been announcing) or that the modern times are no longer like the primitive times, then the answers to the above questions would be a definite YES.

So please go on, ask away...get your answers from them.

Hathor5:


The full list continues with the percentage getting lower on the male side and the percentage getting higher on the female side. It still proves your point but only if you don't put it in perspective like you didn't. The U.S. Bureau of Statistics registers over 800 occupations so even if 300 were dominated by one gender, the number is lower, a majority of jobs would still be balanced in terms of the gender ratio.

[s]I prefer to have discussions to learn, not to win, or to confirm my bias, so I wish you a nice day sir.[/s]

That's all.

There's hardly any job that is balanced in terms of gender ratio (50/50) - it's either men are more, or women are more.
And that was the point of the list, to show that your claim about how majority of jobs are gender balanced came off the top of your head with no facts backing it.

Hathor5:
Nice thread OP. I hope you will ensure people keep it clean.

The question of nature vs. nurture has been subject to scientific scrutiny and much has been written on the topic by anthropologists, biologists, psychologists, historians, and sociologists. It is difficult to answer and there is a lot of disagreement surrounding the topic. Nairalanders are most likely to respond to it ideologically, not objectively, and will disagree too. I think that the minimum that we can agree on, going by the answers so far, is that every human being is a product of his biological making and environment and that gender roles are an interplay of the two. As a result people in primitive societies used to assign the role of the hunter to men who are on average stronger physically but there are still societies habituating less civilized places where women are assigned the role of the provider and men do what is in most societies considered atypical of men. But they are the exception, not the rule.

Today men do not need to hunt. We have grocery stores. In the modern world, as we have become more dependent on specialization and have more complex economies, there is a wider range of jobs that can be performed by both, men and women. Most jobs do not rely on physical strength anymore and there is no physical trait that stands in the way of chores and cooking so the lines have become more blurry.

Hunting has evolved from using spears to catch game for food. It now means working jobs to provide.

Until women become and are very comfortable being long-term sole providers (or more of the financial provider) while they let their husbands stay at home to be nanny, cook, and general housekeepers (or be less financially capable), then nothing has really changed in the modern world compared to primitive societies when it comes down to the point.

You also claimed that most jobs do not rely on physical strength and as such a wide range of jobs these days can be done equally by both sexes. Well, this is a far-cry from reality because just as hunting evolved from using spears, physical strength also evolved into mental strength (rigor) accompanied by physical stamina to withstand stress and physical risk-factors.

This is a list of jobs that are at least 80% dominated by males despite developments in technology and robotics:

1. Vehicle technicians, mechanics and electricians - Men 99.19%
2. Carpenters and joiners - Men 99.08%
3. Welding trades - Men 98.54%
4. Electricians and electrical fitters - Men 98.26%
5. Plumbers and heating and ventilating engineers - Men 98.1%
6. Metal working production and maintenance fitters - Men 98.09%
7. Mobile machine drivers and operatives - Men 97.93%
8. Large goods vehicle drivers - Men 97.61%
9. Fork-lift truck drivers - Men 97.44%
10. Elementary construction occupations - 97.11%
11. Glaziers, window fabricators and fitters - 96.68%
12. Electrical and electronics technicians - 96.37%
13. Construction and building trades - 96.27%
14. Electrical and electronic trades - 96.12%
15. Design and development engineers - 95.86%
16. Taxi and cab drivers and chauffeurs - 95.71%
17. Train and tram drivers - 95.69%
18. Paper and wood machine operatives - 95.45%
19. Painters and decorators - 95.27%
20. Telecommunications engineers - 95.21%
21. Skilled metal, electrical and electronic trades - 95.02%
22. Electrical engineers - 94.6%
23. Metal machining setters and setter-operators - 93.95%
24. Mechanical engineers - 93.78%
25. Electronics engineers - 93.29%
26. Bus and coach drivers - 93.23%
27. IT engineers - 93.2%
28. Van drivers - 93.08%
29. Precision instrument makers and repairers - 93.07%
30. Production managers and directors in mining and energy - 92.94%
31. Fire service officers (watch manager and below) - 92.89%
32. Rail transport operatives - 92.88%
33. Production and process engineers - 92.8%
34. Refuse and salvage occupations - 92.47%
35. Hospital porters - 92.36%
36. NCOs and other ranks - 92.07%
37. Construction operatives - 91.53%
38. Aircraft pilots and flight engineers - 91.41%
39. Ship and hovercraft officers - 91.3%
40. Metal working machine operatives - 91.08%
41. Butchers - 90.98%
42. Window cleaners - 90.94%
43. Air transport operatives - 90.87%
44. Sports players - 90.7%
45. Gardeners and landscape gardeners - 90.45%
46. Civil engineers - 90.25%
47. Groundsmen and greenkeepers - 90.15%
48. Other drivers and transport operatives - 89.81%
49. Engineering professionals - 89.67%
50. Quantity surveyors - 89.56%
51. Plastics process operatives - 89.06%
52. Plant and machine operatives - 88.98%
53. Information technology and telecommunications directors - 88.91%
54. Production managers and directors in construction - 88.85%

The full list goes all the way to over 300 and it doesn't get equal gender representation until about 190, more than halfway through.

Also put it into consideration that the percentages above will definitely be higher in a country like Nigeria where women are more into jobs which allow them to sit pretty in an office or for those who are business inclined - they'd rather go into baking, tailoring, event planning, cooking, make-up, etc...
Anything which doesn't involve the exertion of mental rigors.

These issues are quite simple and straightforward - the partner who doesn't want more children ought to do something about it by taking control of their end.

Personally, I don't see how my partner will get pregnant for me when I don't want her to and this won't even require a vasectomy.

Sixfeetbelle:




Why are my being scolded? Especially after I added a disclaimer?

Alright, Mr Sensible, what would you advise Op?

He has done enough, more than enough.

And to think the ingrate is still mouthing off when she should be showing appreciation to him every morning, is utterly despicable of her.

Where she stays should not be his problem even if he has the spare resources laying around.

Carchoice:
I don't understand some of you commenting, if a woman can be looking for a man that is already made, why can't I look for one that suites me too?

Nothing do you bruv.

Everyone is entitled to their choice

Sixfeetbelle:


I'm just saying that maybe her Lipstick can feed the family. Who knows

Na so...