₦airaland Forum

Samiceman: You Took your Babe on a Date and the Waiter was Like; "Aunty How Far? Chief nko?... Shey Na your New Maga be this??

What will you do??

If she's very beautiful, I would pretend not to her the waiters remark until I've had my own share of her forbidden fruit.( Abi u want make I spoil show because say I de vex)

Once I've tasted her fruit to my satisfaction, then all hell would be let loose. I would look for the slightest offence she comits and make a big deal out of it. I would also remind her of that remark the waiter made about her which I pretended to ignore, and demand for and explaination after which I would send her parking and continue with my life.

No comment

(Na. wa for all these rich people ooo. I went
To visit a cousin frm a very rich
family. D maid approached me and asked

MAID: what would u lyk to have, fruit juice,
yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino ,
frapuccino or coffee?

ME: tea pls.

MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea,
kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?

ME: Ceylon tea pls.

MAID: how do u want it,
black or white?

ME: white. ...

MAID: milk or fresh cream?

ME: with milk.

MAID: goat milk or cow milk?

ME: cow’s milk.

MAID: freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?

ME: umm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.

MAID: would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar
or honey?

ME: sugar.

MAID: bee sugar or cane sugar?

ME: cane sugar

MAID: white, brown or yellow sugar?

ME: abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a
glass of water.

MAID: mineral, tap or distilled water?

ME: mineral water.MAID: flavored or non
flavored?

ME: infact get me an empty glass!

MAID: do u want a tumbler, wine glass,
champagne flute or a beer mug?

ME: abeg, free me, i go swallow my own
spit..." >:

Yea I was there when it happened, so I decided to share the good news on Nairaland

What's with Nigeria and bad news these days. Too be honest, I'm feed up of this country. If boko haram doesn't suck their own blood, natural disasters would suck. If natural disasters doesn't suck fulani cattle rearers or armed robbers would suck.

What's wrong with this country na

Anyway rip to the dead

Breaking news: A Bomb just exploded in Kano again, dis time in a Cemetery! All d Dead bodies ran out of their graves but no casualties recorded. Commissioner of Police has adviced them 2 return 2 their graves and go about their normal spiritual duties without fear!! Ǧ☺☺ϑ М̣̣̥̇̊Ό̲̣̣̣̥Я̩̥̊И̣̣̣̥Ȋ̝̊̅̄И̣̣̣̥G̲̣̣̣̥ fwends.

I'm with you, but I but I believe his name scares prospective friends away. Therefore I would suggest that he changes it.

Idowuogbo: Times are hard bro!

Eyah...its well.

But you don't have too type all that love nmessage to a stranger when a flash from you to my phone can get you a bb porshe

Idowuogbo: Buy me 1 na! Sexcie boi.... D cocoa in my chocomilo, d Kasenprenco in my life,d Jonathan dat brings me Goodluck, d haram dat bokos my heart.Na u Ehime!

All for a blackberry phone

Check mine out

True

[quote author=dem_dem]p...She actually doesn't know about this. I am really in love with her and probably will want to marry her in the future.[/quote]I would suggest that you let her know by that, you can know where you stand and know the next step to take.

Good luck.

damselbaby4: Am sexy and I need a friend 2 kip me company.call or ping me 08127617162 or 220bfc95

Another scammer in the house

I don't actually smoke, but there's this my guy that smoked weed one sunday evening we were just hanging out (regular guys stuf, bottles of beer, nkwobi, pepper soup etc). Then suddenly this fellow brought it out from his back pocket and began wrapping it.

I remained mute and continued my drink. He finished the wrap and and acted normal (at least that's how he looked to us) After the hangout, We boarded a bus and as were heading home, then the weed began to manifest in the life of my friend.

My guy just brought out his head from the window of the bus and began to look at anything in sight. At a point it became embarrassingly annoying, because it was obvious that all wasn't well in his life.

But this junkie didn't end there, he was also staring annoyingly at passengers as they entered the bus. Some where like what's the problem, but he would smile and continue staring. When the bus eventually reached its destination, my junkie friend refused to come down.

He kept uttering some gibberish which only he understood. We ended up carrying him home where he consumed five super packs of indomine and slept off laizly like a someone who is tired of life.

So I would agree with the first poster. Weed indeed is bad and it reduces you personality anf integrity.

mr deshclones: I am sad...very sad and depressed....ma gf of five years saw my NL user name last 2wks and went thru ma post and till today she has not picked ma calls or returned ma pings.she is disappointed and angry with me for all ma yarnings here..i have begged and begged all to no avail...i don tire..i don even dey sick small..its a pity i left ma phone unattended to hence the reason she had access to my user name and posting history...

am scared because i know what she can do..she is one of those gals that once they make up their minds..they stick to it..please sweet..if you see this forgive and forget..i am so sorry for all the stuffs i have done..plese take me back..i am very sorry and remorseful

Tell her to grow up and stop being childish.

Nairaland is a community where Nigerians and friends of Nigeria unite daily to have fun. So if she's screaming for a breakup because of some of you posts she came across here, then you should have a rethink about that girl.

Cos I see no reason why a girl would start a quarell with me over my posts on Nairaland. Its childish, madness and uncalled for

If she has a boyfriend as you claimed, the just let her be in order to safe youself a future heartbreak.

What you are unaware of is that the closer both of you get, the deeper the magnitude of damage that relationsip would course both of you. Because whether you like it or not, her guy would appear one day and you would be striped of you regular position and relegated to the bench in her life.

So like I stated earlier, just let her be. Cos the sooner you face this reality, the better it would be for you.

There are no such thing as spirits and ghosts.

I believe the problem lies with your guy. He has an Ancestral problem. Some evil spirits from his village are tormenting him for defiling his body.

I would suggest that he goes for spiritual cleansing as soon as possible.

All of the above

Including wearing the left leg of my slipper on the right leg and vice versa.

Ujujoan: It's simple . . . . people have met with great ill just because they want to 'help'!

Ever heard of a woman who takes in her sister's daughter to train her in school, the young lady grows up and goes ahead to get pregnant for her husband . . .

Ever heard of a man who gave someone a lift and the 'someone' steals away his phones in the car . . . or uses him for rituals . . .

Ever heard of someone who gets her best friend a job and the friend truns around and gets her fired . . .

In Nigeria it's every man for himself. It's sad though, but it's he harsh reality!

Well said

Registered initially as Crazykid...later I upgraded to carzy

Can't really say how I came by that name. I guess I love being crazy

What kind of tins

Ph, Imo or Enugu.

I now see why its impossible for you people to ask.

Longest time bro what's up

Jarus: Hello dear! How are you and your lovely family, I hope fine? My name is VIDA DUNGA, I became interested in you after viewing your profile information in this site, I know that a journey of one thousand miles must begin with one step, I will be happy to hear from you through my e-mail address for us to know more about each other and share photos (vida.dunga@yahoo.com.sg) All I need is love with trust,someone who will always be there for me to show me the real taste of love as a friend and a sister, hoping to hear from you soon, thanks and God bless you, yours VIDA [love] [love] [love] [hug] thanks for your understanding

And what makes you think General Seun is intrested in your scam letter.

Can't really say for now.