₦airaland Forum

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Maybe if you say the easy way to break up.

Hum this is the way i do it.

I try to avoid the lady for a while, as in seeing each other, and also at the same time maintaining the distance i am creating, and being kind of trying to avoid long conversations on the phone. By saying i got to go, after talking for a while etc.

The next step, after like a week of that, i would just call her for lunch or dinner, and tell her what i feel about the relationship and the reason i want it quits. And that way i have tried to avoid a lot of drama.

I have a problem with the whole "trying to avoid the lady, maintaining the distance thing, trying to avoid drama' It is emotionally painful on the woman's end when she tries to figure out why you are acting that way. If you are pretty sure you want to breakup, breakup already.

Re: Do The Words "i Love You" Still Mean A Thing To You?
« #76 on: April 05, 2006, 09:29 PM »

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My BF knows that these are wot i mean when i say to my him, ''I LOVE YOU''

When I say I love you,
I mean that i never want to stop loving you
when i say I love you,
it means that when i'm not with you, i wonder what you are doing
when i say I love you,
it means that i can trust you
when i say I love you,
it means that no matter who comes through and trys to split us up it WONT happen
when i say I love you,
it means that i will never cheat
when i say I love you,
it means i mean it and i always will
I LOVE YOU !!!

Did you write this yourself? Pretty good.

Yes, I would. I tell my best friend everything and i feel comfortable enough to do that because she doesn't judge me. She'll let me know she disagrees but is stillmy best friend anyway.  I'm not perfect, neither is she. If you have to hesitate to tell your friend something like that, then I guess you are not THAt close anyway. Just my thought. Then again, I am naturally a very open person. I share everything about me. Positive, not so positive, negative, like I said, EVERYYTHING.

Of course, your wife.

Toyour question: I think it is Nigerian women all over having to expect cheating men, period. Not just in Nigeria. So many Nigeriam men cheat. It's disgusting.

What if your girlfriend did that to you as well? How would it make you feel? What would you think of her? Do to others as you would like to be treated. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute and stop this already.

Now players have gotten really sophisticated and can do all of the above "prince-like" actions, (maybe not the meeting the family part) but they still end up playing you anyway. They are players and can play the game really well. Sure, they'll call you when they say they will but that doesn't mean that the other woman isn't call waiting on the other line or that when he brings you chicken soup, he didn't tell the other woman that he will be back in a sec. Sure, they will put in effort o get to know you and romance you slowly. They know if they did it any other way, you would see through their game. Then all too late when you have fallen in love with them, you realize that they were players after all.

If you like her, start ignoring her. Not in a rude way, just not giving her as much attention as before. Give her some attention and then pull away. She will hate that and come running to you. Take that from me, I am a female.

This thread is confusing. You dont even know who is replying to what problem. Fun otherwise.

Give him some mind blowing sex. End of story, problem solved.

I was 19 when we met and I had liked him for a while and so was ecstatic when we finally got together. He was such a good lookin man. And it wasn't just about the looks. He was just a naturally affectionate person who loved life and people. I still remember our first kiss and even the way he smelled (cologne he wore). We parted ways painfully because we lived so far away from each other. And back then, I couldn't get into the clubs and place he could get into, because I was under 21.

Did you become friends again?
No. He hurt me too much. Not anything he did. Just the way it ended.

How long did it take you to "get over" the person?
I am still not over him completely but mind you, I have had several great relationships since then.

To stop thinking about them everyday?
I still think about him. I know he is married with two kids now and I always wonder whether he is happy and satisied.

Do you still have occasional dreams about them? Any lingering thoughts about the person?
No dreams, just lingering thoughts.

And finally, do you "keep up" w/ the person or know where he/she is now?
I don't keep up with him. I think it is probably best that way. I don't live in that same state anymore anyway.

Thanks for your contribution.
Thank you.

Maybe you can text her back? I dont know.

Kave, if you are not impressed with your girl's love, have you told her? I also see your point about ppl not showing how much love they have, but that is during the relationship, not after one person has called it quits? She should still call him and not go there.

Bebe who? That girl in la la land?
Oh, I have no problem with her. I am really a nice person. Just don't take kindly to name calling and she started with all that. I will bury the hatchet with her.

Absolutely. If they dont like the way you look, you have to REALLY impress them in other ways for them to stay interested in pursuing you/ a second date or whatever.

Oh Rhodalyn Rhodalyn, why you always gotta be the third wheel? Seun, we have space for one more?

Wow, I am amazed at the lack of great ideas. That restaurant, ring in a wine glass thing has been so overdone. For a guy to take me to dinner, I would rather he even proposed on a couch as we sat on a normal evening and I was in my pyjamas. Seriously. I'll get back at yall with some ideas.

You deserve the situation you are in. Sorry, couldnt think of a milder way to put it. Tough Love, I guess. Learn from the experience and move on. Dont do what you did again.

Skidoc, I dont think Desiree has issues. How are you going to use a word like "Ewww" to talk about her and expect her not to react

***kisses Seun right back***

***cough*** **Clears Throat**** How else can I say this?
HE IS CHEATING ON SOMEONE ELSE WITH YOU!!!

^^^ So if you think being hang up on when she calls is bad, what about when she spends her money to fly/ drive to see him and he takes one look at her and leaves her standing there like a fool?

Or another worse case scenario: The guy takes advantage of the situation by being nice to her just to mess around/sleep with her and then reject her anyway after she leaves town? You don't think that's worse? If he doesn't want her, he doesn't want her. Showing up won't change that. It will just take away any human dignity and respect she has left.

There are many ways to read when a person is telling you NO, they don't want you. You don't need to spend money and go see their face to tell.

If anything, I say she should call him once and once only to test the waters. If it still doesn't sound hopeful, let it go. Why force yourself on someone who doesn't want to be with you? i.e. If this is the case. Margarita, it's hard to believe that at this point, but someone else will come along. Decent men are like buses. One takes off, another one will show up that' s going where you are going and you can hop on. It's stupid to run after the one that already took off. You'll almost never catch it.

I think that picture is actually the poster's pic. They just wanted to solicitopinions without saying it was actually them.

^^^ I have a crush. I am not in love yet! Right, Seun Baby?

Takethat, that story must have taught you a lot of lessons! Wow, a lot happened in there. Kudos for surviving all that.

Thagodfada:
let me verify first that you are not my ex before i reply to this. Which town does your ex live??

make man no enter trouble o! because when i told my ex i didn't want her anymore i meant it. Everything was just terrible. i.e. the sex, attitude, yanga etc

So a piece of advice, let him go. You will meet a better person that is just right for you.

How long did you stay together in spite of the bad sex? Are you sure you weren'e partly to blame?

Yes, he is sexy and attractive. Just look at the man!