₦airaland Forum

moca:
Nne, i get u gan gan

Ok nne

naijababe:
See them awon keferi

Naijababe I no be keferi o but FOL and massive crusades at this point na just make I no talk too much sha. Not been this year and my pastor don harass me tire but I don become egungun eja

chaircover:
R321 you don craze
But seriously though, where will sule get parts for this car

Hope you are preparing for FOL. sleep now o! no excuses on Friday

R231 at FOL

I have not been to FOL in a while.not feeling the mass euphoria anymore.

RoyalRoy:

Are you jealous

I just have to laugh inspiration ko inspire ni

Moca I don't think there is anything wrong with freezing your eggs (if you want to).But I do feel like the women advocacy group have stated that by making it a company policy or 'perk' it's passing a subliminal message that you can't have a career and children at the same time.I think having a work life balance e,g onsite crèches, flexible working job sharing options etc is a better way to make life easier for women of childbearing age who maybe might not want to delay childbearing till later.

Why not just increase your medical insurance coverage in totality and then if you like freeze your eggs, get a bossom job,get a vasectomy whatever.But to put it out there that your medical insurance now covers freezing your eggs is passing a subliminal message that I am not too comfortable with.Deciding to have children or putting it off till later should be a personal decision.Without even making it a company policy or perk some women who are very career driven might delay childbirth or decide not to even have children at all as they might feel they would be unable to deal with it all at the same time.

shoefreak:
you are too sweet.

Aww am blush.my head dey swelling

I don't know why work life balance or flexible working is not seen as the preferred option.

Not too sure about this though I want to believe its a voluntary perk.It would be grounds for discrimination if you were forced /or coerced into it employment lawyers in the Uk esp would have a field day so I want to believe you can choose not to take it up.But like mzmy coil said it would eventually lead to those women who decided to have kids earlier being seen as less productive.

shoefreak:
hey you! How are you? All good? Every hanging and pointing? ;DOYO carry the car dash Sule na.

I dey o Hun and you take

Donxavier:
E don tey abi. Everybody has been very busy hustling I guess.

Yes o May God bless our hustle.

Happy birthday to you and Nashville many more years of God's glory on your lives


Send our own cake o

Hallo everyone..

edwife:
I've realized that most men don’t count as important what their women take to be important. Every woman wants to be the centre of the universe in her man’s life. But most time the men aren't concerned.

Some women tend to hide behind the veil of ‘time together’. But from the way they act, you will see that it is the money and good things of life that are more important to them than anything else.
Not every woman likes to cling to some guy every millisecond of the day.


Some Women love attention, they want to know that they are loved and there is security but for a man, while a woman knows that though you still need to provide for the family, she would still crave for attention.

Op you need to know what you truly need from the relationship,and only you has the answer to that.

If you think you won't be able to cope with the present situation,you won't cope after marriage and therefore creating a route to extra marital affairs.

It all depends on personal priority.


Hope you make the right choice.

God bless you Edwife..personal priority should have been the word I should have used since.

OP knows what is a priority to her so decision is really hers.

OP i asked what do you mean by attention? I know you gave an illustration earlier (his friends and the airport episode) but another post said he was your soulmate you guys discuss a lot and he listens to you about decisions.

So I will ask again is it the quantity or quality of time that you spend together that is your problem?

coogar:
i am not a murderer.



apprentice don start?
how's lord sugar? has he reduced his belly? football won't let me switch to BBC now. skysports till 10pm

Hubby too I left him downstairs.I think I am considering going back downstairs just running round like headless chickens but I need to watch the dressing down lord sugar will give them.

coogar:
ambition is relative, i agree....
being successful is also relative. however, if we are talking about the ground-breaking successful men, they rarely have time for lovey dovey. how many times would obama be playing snakes & ladder with michele?




i had a game to play with a friend in japan that evening.

Japan ko Taiwan ni

Abeg make I dey watch my apprentice jare

coogar:
and this is where fulfilment comes into the equation. some men feel fulfilled working long hours, bending their heads on a research & looking for the next ground-breaking invention.

We are saying the same thing.are you now saying the GP is jobless or lacks ambition? He does but his ambition might not necessarily require long back breaking hours. The GP might even earn far more than an entry level analyst in the city who spends 12 hrs a day at work.

Are you not earning £500 a day? the other day you were looking to check out of work at 5pm 5 pm coogar when your mates are sleeping in the office

coogar:
so you would advise a woman to marry a jobless guy with no ambition or career that drives him but he's ready to give 1000% attention?

Coogaarrr. did I say that now.that was why I asked what is attention sef? If you spend all your time together how una go pay bills na? Most naija guys that I know don't even want to marry a jobless girl talkless of a guy? But ambition is relative like I always say.let me give an example two doctors one is content being a GP and is home by 7pm most week nights he is not poor but might not be as loaded or as revered as the consultant neurologist who is working long hours with research scientists to formulate ground breaking surgical techniques.Sometimes sef time spent away pursuing a dream might not even translate to hard cold cash.

My point was nothing is wrong with wanting attention but if you are going to get it you might have to sacrifice some other things.

coogar:
so you would advise a woman to marry a jobless guy with no ambition or career that drives him but he's ready to give 1000% attention?

coogar:
cheiii cheiiii cheiiiiii
damiso kicking knowledge as usual......let the cinderella girls keep deceiving themselves and be looking for attention.

Nothing wrong with attention naa .Some girls do not necessarily want money,power etc some don't mind a modest lifestyle,sharing one car etc if it means they get to spend more time with their spouse.

In other words,know what you want.Dont marry or date a fiercely driven person(some women are too) and start whining about attention.apart from driven some people's line of work need it .even we the children knew that daddy goes to island club every Friday night.we could be eating dinner and next thing he has to go to Abuja for 2 days.Funny enough my hubby is direct oppodite because in a way I knew I was not like my mum.If my hubby is not at work or studying or hanging out(very rarely) he is at home and we are doing stuff together.Deep down I don't think I could have coped with that my parents lifestyle.then again we even live in a different environment.

MarvellousGod:


Coogar, a successful man should know how to manage his time... He should specially make out time for his loved ones, very important. ..

My dear sucess(which is relative sha) comes at a price and sometimes TIME is a currency that most very successful influential people do not have.Now I am not saying you should not make time for loved ones but in essence the quality of the time with folks like this has to take over from the quantity of time. Ask the spouses of most Fortune 500,FTSE 100 CEO's politicians etc.David Cameron had to cut short a family holiday to call a cobra meeting on British nationals joining ISIS imagine Samantha Cameron whining that he Is not giving her attention cos he cut short a family holiday.Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

coogar:
only a rëtarded male would believe such nonsense. every man must have seen or experienced the role money plays in relationships.

women aren't loyal when the money is not flowing. it's the endurance factor that varies. she's ready to dump him at the drop of a hat when his pocket dries up.

Not to derail coogar but he too can dump her or get a side chic at the sight of an extra pound

coogar:
attention = lounging in bed all day together, reading poems to her 6 times a day, blowing her phone with 100 calls per day.

Coogar let her answer naa

OP what do you mean by attention? As in you guys don't spend time together at all or he is very career/business focused? I am not being funny here but if a man or person is very career/business driven or has certain dreams believe me as a spouse you might have to make certain sacrifices.that is just the hard fact.my mum told me my dad left her at home two days after their wedding on a political campaign that meant she actually rarely saw him for over a week.They later went on honeymoon to 3 countries when I was about 2 years old and left me behind with my grandma My mum knew she was marrying someone with political ambitions right from their courting days and she prepared her mind that he might not always be there due to that ambition.Now I am not saying it was always ideal as i remember late nights,long absences but when he was there the time we spent together formed some of my best childhood memories.My mum knew what she was getting into and I can't really say he was actually not a good father or husband because of the time he spent away pursuing that dream.

My long epistle (sorry OP ) is just pointing to one question 'can you deal with it?' If you can't it's ok just think long and hard about it because it might not get better after marriage.

bukatyne:
I have reported to the moderator.

I don't know the correlation between see my family and what players/real men do

Unfortunately, none of them are married so we would not say they are comparing with their own wives. By their fruits, you will know them

Awon ti o lenu bi razor lo n ma gbegbekugbe

Very annoying post. One can even ignore the 'she looks old' 'is she older than you ' crew(though I don't get that question as well) but that his own post took it another level.you are talking about another man's wife nitori Oloun

bukatyne:
This comment is very rude and disguting
RoyalRoy, please delete this post
Thanks

I signed in to say the same.

I can see why anonymity is best on NL from posts like that.

OP nice family by the way God bless your home.

coogar can like to argue..when you give him an example of a fit wife that someone cheated on he says she is dirty or hates s.ex or nags or has attitude problem when his original argument was that Nigerian women add 20kgs after marriage which is why they are cheated on

You just gotta love coogar and his contrarian views(pickabeau hope I got the spelling right )

I dey go skip Me I can't jog in my local park anymore it's getting dark like you said CC I no want one crazy person to chop me up and put me in a bin bag only to be found at the bottom of the Thames 3 weeks later all because I don't want my oga to follow size 8 opekes

coogar:
i agree - but it's still artificial.
no man would turn down an attractive woman for sex because she's poor. he would turn her down if she's dirty.



the thing is - men rarely complain.
he already knows what he would do. he only needs to mention it once or twice, if he doesn't see changes, he goes outside to seek what he wants.



if she wants relative financial security, she should go & work for money. she was trained academically like the man she's relying on to provide comfort - that's almost leeching.

however, asking a woman to stay healthy, take her hygiene seriously isn't leeching. it's ultimately for her own good. so don't compare financial security with body health issues. they are worlds apart!

Of course staying healthy is what everyone should want for their spouse. My issue is often this 'staying healthy' for their own good is borne out of a selfish 'this not how you looked when i married you'POV and not necessarily caring about their health.If you care if it means telling horror stories of diabetes, cancer etc you will do it not saying I married size 8 go back to size 8 if you don't I will get a size 8 who appeals to me outside.

My husband had a very unhealthy habbit (energy drinks coffee rarely drank water) which had lil or no bearing on his looks or weight in this case he is still as slim as the day we met
But I was always on his case because I care about his health in general and he has greatly reduced his intake of those beverages and now drinks more water.

I agree with encouraging your spouse to look fit and stay healthy but some men don't talk about it from the health point of view but from a vain looks point of view.

coogar:
i didn't solely lay the blame on the wives of cheating husbands - i said most of the time, they are part of the problem. it's not even natural for a man to damn his marital bed & start following every chic in his environment. there must have been a root cause.

is he getting well-serviced, is the wifey keeping to her personal hygiene? does she make excuses not to have sex?(married women do this a lot especially when there's a minor argument). they use sėx as a tool to bargain for whatever.

how many husbands would take such?




a woman with a poor hygiene is 10 times worse than his male equivalent. lets not go into such details.



they don't show it.
there are deodorants & fragrances that mask such the putrescent odour they carry around them. on top of that, we are constantly told not to test-drive before signing our lives away......

we don't get to see the merchandise until the wedding night & then we realise all that glitters ain't gold. what's a man to do then? divorce? of course - cheating is the easier option for him then. if he perishes, then so be it.

Haa Coogar you can spot a chic with hygiene issues by visiting her in her environment. Even if we dont test drive a very neat person who hygiene is a big issue for can spot some one kain dirty tendecies.

I don't have the power this night but my point is cheating can't be the solution to marital issues. some men cheat just because they feel they can not necessarily because of something the wife did or did not do. To them it's not having rice everyday (I hate that analogy ehn). Some won't even tell the wife the issues before deciding the best next thing is looking outside.We have had threads where men say my wife is doing this and that and I am thinking of getting a girlfriend. When asked have you even told her they enter voice mail.At least discuss and work with your spouse first before thinking of an alternative.

That said I agree that marriage is alot of work from both parties.

BABE3:
Being size 8 doesn't mean she doesn't ration sex at home. Doesn't mean she's not a perpetual nag.

Healthy lifestyle is just one aspect of it.

Like I said, to expect an infidelity free home; we have to put in serious work. I see people saying "marriage shouldn't be endured but enjoyed", but they want the husband to endure all sort of nonsense.



We can't even compare something as basic as healthy lifestyle to financial instability. Apples and oranges. Not everyone can be rich. Everyone can be fit (except in rare cases).

But being rich is faaaar more important to some people than anything in this world which is they sought out to marry relative comfortability.People marry for different reasons and so if a lady marries for comfort why can she not look elsewhere if those needs are not being met. Note I am not begrudging men who expect fit wives he married size 8 wants highest size 10 even after 3 kids why should he put up with size 18?

Just saying based on that theory too we should not begrudge women who want relative financial security cos thats what they married and are not getting down the line too.

coogar:
You

good question!
marriage can be complex - what about hygiene issues? you stayed in a hostel at some point, i'm sure.....

did the lifestyle of some women not make you wanna puke? yet, these poor habits of theirs are invisible on the outside. so when you see husbands of fit women seeking greener pastures, look more inwardly.

Of course marriage is complex which is why it is kinda simplistic to solely lay the blame for one person cheating on the person being cheated on.

Hygiene issues can be tackled..There are loads of women who have less than clean husbands but imagine telling a typical Nigerian inlaw I cheated on him cos of hygiene you are told to manage it.So if you love someone you help them manage their inadequacies.Filthy people generally tend to show it at some point at courtship so I even think if it bothers you that much just don't marry her/him.

coogar:
does poverty affect a man's erëction?
statistics will tell you that poor men are even the best in bed. he's too poor to afford fattening foods. he's superb & ultra fertile.

in other words, using money or material comfort as an excuse to leave one's hubby is quite lame. the men who go outside to seek greener pastures love their wives.....they want things to be the same as the courting days but they just cannot get an eréction for wifey - the spark has disappeared!

Coogar so erection= happy home

How is it lame? Am slugging it out at the gym 5 days a week (heck we need to pay gym membership ) I eat carrot food instead of bokoto and you cant work hard or harder to maintain the status quo? Naa based on your theory I need to get that spark elsewhere too I can feed him from the proceeds.

Also what's the excuse for those with fit wives? I have seen cases of men with size 8 wives running after size 14 to 16 chics.