₦airaland Forum

debosky: ^^ food is part of family life isn't it?

Welcome Eliba. . . .I'll let the cabalitesresident members to welcome you properly

Na who be cabalites CC has refused to enrol me to this cabal they talk about..I just hope there is Oyel money to be shearing ;Dme I no dey for cabal wey money no go show


Eliba welcome Hun pls see me for registration it's just 500 thousand naira pere or the £ equiv we accept card and paypal payments tank u

Entertainment will be processed after enrolment

CC typhoid fever, food poisoning ,cholera is real o abeg sofry on the mama puts

I too (I be typical lagos girl naa ) loved all those shitta, bank olemoh, ghana high, Olaiya things till I got food poisoning from White House in Sabo I saw my dad and called him my mum that day It kinda put me off it for a while but I still indulge once in a while when I go to naija.

chaircover: Olorun mu e
How can you be going to eatery?
Sometimes I am in Naija for 2 weeks and dont enter Mr Biggs and the lot once. What am I looking for?.
. . . . . .When Mama Ope, Turaiya, Mama Soji, Fanawole, Alhaja jagbandi and all those places dey
Thanks to intel, I even discovered yellow eba and Igbo soup recently at £200 a plate in okokomaiko

rebella: Hello fun room, its been a min. CC, mbulela, damiso, cococandy, r231( ashawo)n edwife et al. hope you are all doing great

Hi Hun doing well thank you hope you are great too.

naijababe: Dami, you do know a whole chicken with 2 sides is like £18? Besides, fried rice et al is very much the naija version of burger o jare. You cannot TGI and SS in the same sentence. Epa ati Boli is more like going to Gregg's jo!

Lol e dey really vex you. You for kuku go chop Ghana high or Designer Rice like R231 said

Nashville: Dami, great example but I kinda look at it differently. Your dad had an ambition to be Lagos State Governor and he pursued it. That automatically shows alot of potential if you ask me. He might not have realised his personal ambition to be governor and that is quite difficult in Nigeria's political environment, however, even when he was young, your mum must have seen a lot of potential in him. Potential to be successful whether or not he realises his ambition to be governor. So even though your dad never became governor, he is still a very successful man.

Your husband, just like me have no such ambition. I will not contest for elective office in Nigeria. But we have potential to be successful too. But if you say potential is a man who puts family first; what if the man cannot feed that family? Does he still have potential to be successful?

A man who puts his family first will do anything( may I add here legal in the case of my husband) to provide for his family.It means he will rather get his hands dirty than see his family starve.Which is why I said 'potential' or 'success' is relative. In the UK for instance feeding (as in literarily eating) might not necessarily be a measure of provision. If you are a legal resident even if you can't afford anything else you will eat or at least your children will eat.So a man might be able to feed his family and might not be considered succesful.It might be a different case in a harder terrain where feeding is seen as one of the hallmarks of provision.

If I had to go by what potential might be to most people of the two men my Dad would be the more obvious choice as the lady could become a first lady in future while with my husband she might probably end up with 1, 2, 3 mortgages in the UK 1 or 2 houses in Naija kids well educated a normal/comfortable life with a pension fund/some investments to fall back on in old age.

To highly ambitious people like my Dad frankly that is mediocre and that is why I always believe sucess is relative.

P.S. I am not saying my husband is not driven but he is more family investment oriented.I try not to dwell on the resources that my Dad squandered to realise his ambition cos that was his ambition and we are all entitled to chase what we consider our visions.Funny enough I actually love politics (hubby teases me the way o follow political issues in Nigeria I guess it's in the blood as a teenager my Dad took me to campaign rallies I actually campaigned for SDP and Abiola back in the day ) its just that I feel that ambition or' potential' actually robbed his immediate family of a better quality of life of it had been channeled into more investments.

Naijababe but Asaro is more nutritious than Big Mac naa thats a proper hot meal there you know .

Sweet Sensation is more like say Nandos or Frankie and Bennys (I no wan say TGI's before ppl slap me) Naija Macki is Boli and Epa or Dundun and Akara So £20 for three people is a good deal at Nandos naa

But Nashville Again I feel drive/potential is relative. As always I will use the two closest men in my life which are my husband and my dad.My Dad even though I love him to bits had very lofty ideas and his greatest ambition which he sadly never accomplished till his death was to become the Governor of Lagos State . Unfortunately Nigeria was and is still not ready for his brand of politics.i don't want to go into much details but that drive sometimes was an issue in my parents marriage.My mum said rhe day after their wedding she did not see him for 1 week as he was contesting for the then Lahos State House of Assembly.Lateef Jakande was his political mentor and my Dad sacrificed alot just to realise this ambition even quality family time.Am sure my mum maybe saw a potential Governor of Lagos State that sadly never materialised and sometimes even put the family finances into trouble. So it was not for want of drive or ambition or even effort it just never materialised.

My husband cannot be more different and some days I ask myself if i subconsciously intentiionslly went the opposite direction.My husband has none of that ambition that my Dad had to be in the corridors of power etc I never saw a potential governor or billionaire or millionaire sef (ok milliinaire in pounds ) but I saw a man who would do (and still does) everything to make sure his family is comfortable.Now even that comfortability might be relative cos to another person 4 holidays a year is the start of being comfortable.

To me therefore potential is a man who puts his family first and sadly that might not necessarily translate to a millionaire.To others potential is much better as a future governor.

I agree however that a man has to do what he has to do even with meagre resources.But this your family friend sef is not just sitting at home is he?

@adufemi I can feel your pain from your words but first things first NEVER ever let another human being determine your happiness at all times.Yes it is our spouse's responsibility to share life's joys,pains struggles etc but we should always have it the back of our mind that they are human and as such from time to time might fail us so please honey you CAN and will be happy with or without him.Thats why I have never gotten that 'he/She completes me" statement.

I am more worried about your health at the mo and if the only way you can actually move on to feeling better is a temporary separation maybe it's best you guys try it.As soon as physical/psychological/emotional abuse steps in up to the point where you are feeling suicidal that home has become toxic not just for you but for your child.Children are very very smart they can sense tension and it affects them waaaay more than you can imagine.

It is well like Aluta said I can soo feel your pain from your writing. Kisses and hugs to you

aisha2: Thank You. They can be very draining, every word that comes out is "My husband will do this" "My husband will get this" "My husband has not done this" "My husband said this"as if without the husband they would be totally helpless and when the load becomes too much for the husband and he starts acting out the say he is now maltreating them.

So many of them, like I said she is not ready to serve, the man probably has to work double to care for the family while she sits home waiting for him to go and register the marriage for 5 years she has failed to organize herself and is now crying and whinning. Like I said she is not ready to serve let her find one corner and whine well.
My husband does not know half the details of the marriage process, I just do it and inform him later then when he is needed to sign he comes and signs and we both work, this one is sitting home waiting for him to go register the marriage or else she wont serve.


She just wants something to emotionally blackmail him with "It is because of you I didnt serve"

It can actually be frustrating when you always have to take the initiative for another fully grown adult.

naijababe:
Na my mighty Igor power dey worry me jare, I took so time off when she died and now have a ton of work to finish by the end of the month. Left on Wednesday night. Can't wait for the weekend, I am so tired.
@ CC, amin o. Sometimes, I still can't believe that I am motherless
DonXavier, thank you very much for the arduous journey to my obscure village. I really appreciate it.

Wow I can imagine how knackered you must be It is well sis don't worry 3 more sleepa (like my daughter will say ) till weekend.
You will be fine I don't know how it is to be motherless but God will grant you Grace

chaircover: Thanks Dami
May our prayers be answered Amen
Mine knocked on our door at 2am and at 3am, saying she was too excited to sleep
Me I am not too excited to sleep o! please let me sleep abeg
I pulled my duvet up to my chin and left her and her dad sorting it out

excited noni new phase.Mine too had mixed feelings though she actually burst into tears last night saying I want to go back to my old school i miss my friends.

I felt so sad but wetin i go do naa they don't have space for her .We sha gave her plenty cuddles and told her she will make new friends in her new school.When I dropped her this morning I could see she looked a lil lost but I just quickly left jare after one cuddle and kiss when all the other mums were loitering. Children are resilient am sure she will be ok.She recovers quicker when am not there to mollycoddle her.

cococandy: True. The religious or should I say spiritual significance is gradually going.

Sad isn't it but oh well Its just left to those who it matters to try to explain that its more than gifts to their children.

Good morning everyone Just thought to share a prayer for all those whose lil ones return (or have returned) to school already.

Why can't she be the one to start the procedure of the marriage registration? I was the one who sorted out all our marriage registry details so there is no law that says she can't start the process.If she is truly ready to serve let her quit whining and decide to go with the next batch by kick starting the process of getting the marriage registered.If after she has done the legwork and he decides not to budge ehen we can then crucify him as enemy of progress.

In Life sometimes (most times actually) if you want something done do it yourself.

cococandy: Even if it's more expensive.
They just have to buy.
It's like people save money to spend it during xmas.

Yes o and here people buy gifts like it's going out of fashion so I get the business part of it.Its just that sometimes as a Christian it's sad to see the commercial part being the most visible these days ask a typical British child 'what is Christmas' their reply is 'when Santa gives us gifts'

Potential varies from person to person I think as different people have different ideas of the kind of life they want to have.Some some might see 'American citizen' as potential if they have always dreamed of living abroad even if boda is a cab driver in america some might see 1st class degree as potential I just think it's kinda vague and she probably was not committed like TV said.Sebi we now live in modern times why can't she be the one with the 'potential' don't some women earn more than their husbands?

I just think defining 'potential' can be very vague as it will tend to vary from person to person depending on their outlook and priorities in life.

And no matter how it is denied some(before people bite me but I really think most )Naija gals with that typical naija mentality like to see 'glimpses' of that potential manifesting already.

cococandy:

Yes naa people can like to buy buy around that time so I better Tap into that

cococandy: I'm already excited like a little girl.
Christmas does that me.

Funny enough I am like a grinch till about 2 weeks before,the way Christmas is just sooooo mega hyped in the UK makes it a bit annoying for me.they have started already sef. But I won't lie me sef don dey guilty of it sha business brain naa

This shared post thing just flies over my head I don't get it

Naijababe that was fast ekaabo eyin won a da o.why you no just take today off and go in tomorrow naa? Try to rest at the weekend o

Hello everyone.. CC I guess cos there is a GT branch in London(abi have they closed it down not too sure sha) they also used to advertise on London Buses.

chaircover: You are kuku always finding my trouble. . . .
one day one day . . .
meanwhile you ran away from the bead making class abi?. Shame on you
Naijababe you dey Naija?
it is well sis
coco babes and you too
mocha chocolate where are you?
BTW can someone please tell me why GTB advertises on Sky news?

naijababe: I don run back o, got back this morning and went straight to work I am so knackered

chaircover: You are beginning to sound like coogar

My final answer is a £25 backpack from JD . . .If she likes she can phone a friend

Eyin mummy yii gan I thought you were even going to say £10 backpack sef buy her the backpack joor am sure it's Cath kitson or all those funky brand names they carry these days.

Let me be enjoying my days of whatever mummy buys is fine

chaircover: Hello Shoefreak babes

Damiso dont mind her o!
The other day she cajoled her dad into buying this plimsol look alike vans abi vance for £46
The thing looks like plimsols

My purse is hidden away o! £40 backpack ke

It's Vans it's a better kind of plimsoles naa abeg free lil madam o

Look on the bright side tell her if you buy her that £40 backpack(it's kuku not shoe that her leg will grow bigger) she will carry it from year 7 to year 11 so in other words it's the ratio of £8 a year.

pickabeau1: I get your point but this is not only aquality of the males
Marriages r being contracted nowadays and what u hear is the lady already preparing for post divorce shortly in the marriage

What will i get if we split

I am not actually saying it is the mans(or anyone's fault) you know everyone has a right to choose what they want to do with their money.My point was more based on the recipient of the gesture i,e the girl and her parents weighing the pros and cons of basing a marriage based on ' haa it won't be good after all this money he has spent' even if the guy has some other traits that the girl might not necessarily like or if the girl in question might not necessarily have married him if not for that fact.


I know poverty is rife and sometimes people sometimes have to do what they have to do but sometimes the long hard road might actually not be that bad it's just that sometimes girls 'want' all those extras that their parents might not actually be able to give them.I had people in my class in university who probably had just 5 outfits in total cos buying clothes was a luxury that could affect their actual living costs and they did not mind and faced what they were in university to do.Today they too are graduates with those that were the 'best dressed' so I guess it's different priorities.

I know it is not always the case and yes your spouse is meant to support you in fulfilling your potentials but I am just not comfortable with this man training girl through the university and then expecting marriage as a reward for his investments thing.
.
All this 'reaping investments' based marriages can get as e be jare(again not saying all marriages that the man sponsors the wife's education are bad or abusive) but it's more as a precaution to parents(am guessing and hoping most NL parents will be more enlightened sha ) not to abdicate their responsibilities to a another person who may or may not want to use it as leverage in the future.I know life is more complicated than that and we don't have a student loan/scholarship/work through college system in Nigeria yet but really I hope we get there someday.

shoefreak: Hello everyone!
Naijababe
damiso
Chaircover
Chillisauce
Ewuro5... where are you?!
Alutacontinua
Edwife
Apolonius
Mbulela
Lyndaroyce
Cococandy
Efemenaxy
Moca
...etc...

How you guys are good!

Hi Hun hope you and yours are well


Happy New month everyone..peace love and Gods blessings are my wishes for us all by His Grace.

On a side note I can't believe its September already before you know it it's christmas.

chaircover: None of the above

Haa haa CC pls don't spoil our princess' s rep abi is it cred or whatever they call it these days (gosh I feel old ) abeg o which kain party pack bag pls o you and daddy meet her midway £20 functional bag.

chaircover: Hello Dami . . .and everyone else

Hello CC hope you and yours are well..am sure you all are By His Grace.

Helllo everyone..

Idowuogbo: Lolz...Sis mi, awayu re?

I dey o I no forget our parole o I just got reminded

My Dad used to say something that I thought was radical and an infringement on people's rights (me and my slightly liberal self) but now I think it makes a bit of sense.If every Nigerian govt official knew that they and their families had to no other choice but to use our public services they would pay more attention to how it was run.He said if there if there is legislation that makes it part of your oath of office that all your kids go to school in Nigeria you are ill no matter how serious you will be treated in Nigeria you will make sure the person who is awarded hospital contracts executes them effectively.

David Cameron's last child was born in an emergency birth while they were on holiday in Cornwall.The child was probably meant to be born in a private hospital but an emergency birth meant she had to be born in an NHS hospital. Can Nigerian officials truly risk an emergency that would mean they could be treated in a community hosptal in Ogbomosho?

Wow such selflessness.. God bless him and grant him succour.Really really touching and sad story see how this Patrick Sawyer man just used his own to affect such promising lives This ebola thing is so sad

The state of healthcare in Nigeria is just saaad just too sad.I try not to paint Nigeria in a bad light or say things like 'Nigeria is finished' etc but the horror stories I have heard and witnessed before even my own father's death is just too pathetic for a country with such huge resources.

Poverty is a disease oloun and like someone said its not poverty as in wealth or monetarily but poverty of the mind..how easy is to ration water with 4 children nitori oloun Plus 2 other home staff making it a home with 8 people?

I generally don't ridicule stay at home mums but seriously cases like this is a no no..I have to have my own money to provide certain comforts for myself and if you aint providing those comforts (believe me they are actually not extravagances) dont even think of opening your mouth to tell me not to earn my own money.Even as a single living in my father's house I paid for my own comforts that my parents thought were not necessary e.g my clothes went to the laundry I cant work mon to Friday(and some Saturdays) then start washing again when I should be resting.

Water nitori oloun..I know respect should not necessarily be tied to finance but knowing myself I will probably buy 10 tankers of water just so you can just s.hut and stop going on and on about water

Abeg before you agree to stay at home weigh it well o hian

Funny responses on this thread....I know I might be the different voice here but of the few cases I have seen in my young life i know of more women who made their children their next of kin over their husbands.I have had aunties in my extended family 'advise ' me pulling their ears when I got married to never ever share my financial investments with a man Your children are your blood and they can never betray you Most of the women I grew up around were very independent financially and most of what I heard was 'my house in abule egba' my land in ikorodu' 'his house in Isolo' my parents were abit different but if I am being honest sef even they were not probably as open as maybe I am when it comes to finances with my hubby(long story but don't blame mum).Most would scoff at the 'we or our concept' even till now when I say 'our' some laugh but they know to leave me as I have been labelled 'Ruth abokoku' and rarely discuss how I run my home with them.

I don't agree with their school of thought as I feel marriage means you become one but you know what I Also do not to judge them.Most of these men were polygamous,not financially responsible etc so In a way I get why they would be looking to protect themselves and their hard earned investments.

SAMBARRY: if you are the one sewing a particular clothing for days and the owner has come to threaten fire and brimstone and raise all manner of insult on the tailors head and probably you have almost finished the job which you have been paid for then a child comes to ruin it. Won't you transfer the inbuilt anger on the child. If that child was mine I will slap him his head will hit the wall and insult whoever is coming to interfere.
I am putting myself in that tailors shoe so I understand where she is coming from. She knows the owner of the cloth will not take it easy with her and the so called old man won't be there when she's receiving insults however I don't subscribe to violence. And that is the only thing the woman did wrong but I support every form of insult the man received

@bolded I know sometimes spur of the moment reactions are unavoidable with children but really really smacking of kids should not be reactionary or out of anger but to correct. What if the child's head hits the wall and he gets hurt? All those horror stories we hear of people killing their children accidentally are not all psychos some were transferred aggression that ended wrongly.

P.S I am not saying children should not be smacked.