₦airaland Forum

toprealman:
There was never a time the 20 he rule was need enforced. Till tomorrow, people will do up to 40 hrs, some will be caught…many will not. It will hunt some later, others will survive.
The money will help some stay afloat, many will still struggle to pay school fees even with the extra hustle. Some will get frustrated which will affect their studies, others will barely make it.

Professional jobs has never been easy to get. People have been hearing UK experience needed like forever now. Funny thing is that some will be “lucky” others will not.

Summary: if you can get a UK visa or you have one already, do your research. Move with the right circle never those that gather every time to cry about how hard UK is. Be strong minded and positive. Take the hard knocks like a champ. Be ready to work your way up.

UnusualEmissary:
Marriage is an institution for you to choose a partner with whom you will live and plan the rest of your life.

The question now is what plan do you have for the rest of your life and who or what kind of person are you choosing to run that course of your life in future with?

There are several factors leading to that effect (highlighted by the OP) which include financial issues, lack of dedication from one or both parties, wrongdoing like cheating from one or both parties and so on ...

But the major factor, I think, is understanding what marriage is about and choosing someone who equally understands what marriage is about and is fit for you to run that course of life with.

When you as an individual has planned or visualised your character and future plans and you do enough diligence to choose someone with whom you are compatible based on those factors, then you will find fulfillment in marriage God willing. Because the actions both of you will be taking in that marriage will be such that are in harmony with each other and brings fulfilment.

A lot of people get involved in marriage because they are attracted to certain things such as money, feelings or beauty. They do not look at the bigger picture. As such, that union has no purpose upon which it is based and due to that, it tends to get uninteresting as time goes along.

I'm not sure if I captured my thoughts with the very right words but I think I tried.

vickydevoka:
Not that guys will see you, they are very unmarriable set of individuals looking for highest bidders and having high taste. Try an approach a woman who makes her own money and less than 30 years, she will be so rude and stupid at the same time

Onyiiobi7735:
Being independent as a woman is good and advisable,but being too independent spells trouble for a single lady, because men would see her as a woman who would not submit to a man's authority and would be arrogant and strong-headed.

OkukoIgbo:
Have you thought about some people should actually have investments that will take care of them at old age and not pension?

Have you thought of the fact that some people will die before 30?

Have you thought of that even those your early born children can all be wiped out before you even get to 60 and your wife already in menopause?

I am trying to tell you that this life has no textbook, if your pattern is working for you, it is not the model that all will follow.

So some people wey never chop belle full will come and spawning children like spider, breeding societal misfits because they have noting to train them with.

In essence respect yourself, respect other people's lifestyle as far as it is not illegal.

Even if a person didn't marry, he can contract and pay nurses who will be taking care of him at old age.
When will you Africans have sense and stop creating unnecessary problems for yourselves.


Side note:
In my work place, when I was busy hustling for education, masters, certification and skills, some of them were busy breeding children like old layers and marrying hundred wives, it is same fools that are envious that I just came and am getting paid 5 times their pay, I am still shocked at how humans will want to eat their cake and still have it.
If you are one of them, respect yourself.

Acidosis:
Sad but common. It's even more prevalent because some women have a way of evaluating a man's worth without factual evidence. I mean, they look at the shoes and the car and mentally estimate a salary (all in the head).

In an era where everyone is a tech and AI juggernaut, more people will be scammed, unfortunately.

Kenn55:
All the western world countries are almost the same except for little variations here and there.

They are all credit societies where large chunk of their economy is driven by consumer spending.

However you have the choice to stay out of loans. For example, If you don't have money to go to school, then you don't have to study courses that would keep you heavily indebted since you will be taking loan to study. You can study in demand courses in colleges with grant rather than go to a high ranking university to study with loans. You can decide to drive a 15 year old car and pay for it in cash rather than going for a brand new or fairly new car with loan.

You can even keep renting instead of buying a house on mortgage if you hate loans so much but that doesn't make sense since houses are assets and not liabilities. Even though you owe money on a house, you can sell it and make profit when the time is right.

Note that an average oyibo doesn't care much about debt the way we do cos that is how they live from beginning and it's part of their lifestyle as built by their system.

You talked about savings but note that these western countries are not built for savings but spending. Like I said before, it is the bedrock of their economy. Besides, the structure of their society coupled with fairly good governance makes savings not to be a big deal.

Why do people need savings? In case of emergency. What are the do or die emergencies? Loss of job, health, accidents, loss of shelter,life etc. The oyibo model is insure instead of savings. This is why insurance is one of the biggest industries in North America.

In this place, your insurance is your savings while in places like Nigeria, your savings is your insurance because of the model our society is run. You see the difference.

Why would an average oyibo be bothered much about savings when he has insured against all possible emergencies? Life, employment, health,home,car,accident and even pet sef dey get insurance. These insurance coverages cost money but because of their mentality, they embrace it but majority of us Africans will see it as a waste and instead save those money in the bank and that would form part of our "savings".

So when you read an average oyibo have little or no savings, that is the truth but it doesn't tell the full story.

You asked a valid question but you need to understand how the society is built in order to properly navigate it. The choice to embrace the oyibo model or our Nigerian model or a little mixture of both is left for you.

CuriousStudent:
As expected,people using their productive years and time to gossip,malign,hold townhall meetings on women
While their mates are working and sweating . When they reach 30 and earn low,they will call women that reject them hypergamous/delusional or blame the economy.
None will ever accept that they used their productive years on asinine

Tohsynetita1:
Yes Sir, that's why I do check Nairaland daily. I was telling someone in my community that their is an electric bike but he said it's not possible. I saw a plant that the seeds is around 30k per 1kg today Online and funny enough the plant is hardly grown in Nigeria whereas it can grow. So, information is very important, another is positioning, books you read, movie you watch, your discussion with people, friends you make can influence. Are you making doers as friends or complainers? There are some people that sees problem in Everytime you see solution. Those kind of people will stunt your growth. Most world billionaires has a secret and it's getting to invest in a business first. You see musk investment in space X, bezoz in blue origin and Richard Branson in virgin Atlantic. Why is it always them, the reason is the see a gold mine in space investment and each of them want to get it done first.
In Nigeria also, you see Dangote coming into refinery business, his counterpart BUA is doing the same in Akwa ibom. So, what I see is their is always something new to invest in, and if those billionaires know about it, they will want to get their first.
The way we think is also important, our thinking classify us into different phases of wealth. Some will think of borrowing money from Bank not minding the risk of debt, he will established business, he will set up business, once the business booms, those who are scared of taking loan will be under him paying them peanut. They don't have to envy him because he's thinking made him where he's. what if he wasn't able to pay the loan?
If you give each Nigerians 1 million naira, after a month, some will still say they are poor. That's a function of thinking, management, financial intelligence.


Look at movie industry now, you can start shooting movie from your room and make millions of naira within a year. There's a skit maker called Erekere, I just know him some months ago, as at January this year, I don't even know him and am sure he wasn't popular then, but this week he bought Benz, Before you buy ordinary house during the era of Babasuwe you can be in the industry for eternity. What internet does to the like of Tems, Boy spyce, Asake is very incredible, During era of 2face, before people go Know you in industry, you can use 10 years, look at Tems winning Grammy, Boy spyce that Don jazzy took last year singing a song making number 10 on Apple chat some time ago. What of Asake, that one is so surprising, he sold 02 Arena tickets within 5 minutes and the website crash. What the like of Wizkid and burna do use like weeks to sell. Asake limelight isn't up to 2 years and he is getting 8 nominees in headies and 2 nominees in Grammy next year. So, in essence, one must learn what is needed of people are what sell in that Era. Most artiste are shifting back to Netflix because they know it's the next big deal. One must not be rigid in decision, and be diversified and not hate trying something new, keep trying something new and also believe in God.

Blue86:
One, the primary factor is , many of them have very bad attitude towards those who show affection towards them.

And the wise of the men will stay aloof of such.
And the fools of the men will stay on and endure and suffer till they die.

When that girl is showing you colours she can't even show her friends, dump her.
Some girls will learn early.
Others will learn so late.
None will learn.


Character is built.
It is built when you have many fails, and realize the cause of the fails.

Mille:
My takeaway is that Nigerians should know that everything is relative. The UK will either be an upgrade or a downgrade depending on the person's living condition in Nigeria before relocating.

For someone who was balling in Nigeria or comfortable before relocating, the UK will be a massive downgrade if they are stuck in blue collar jobs. It will be a very big upgrade for someone who was unemployed or managing a 200k salary in Nigeria.

I did DHL and GLS sorting job while studying in Germany. And after studying, I couldn't get a professional job except an Amazon warehouse job that pays over €2k. Now the money was good but I was unfulfilled and a bit depressed because I feel I am above that level. I looked around me and quite a lot of people similar to me were stuck in these minimum wage jobs. Infact, my feeling as a black African was more like Germany only considers us for blue collar jobs. The ones who don't want to do manual jobs end up having to do a PhD. I then decided Germany as at then was not for me.

I explored the UK and visited Manchester where many of my family lives in. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't connect to the middle-class Africans. Many of my family members were doing care or factory work so I got discouraged and binned the UK. Got a remote job that pays a bit less than Amazon and returned home to Nigeria.

I'll disagree with the notion that Nigerians in UK are suffering. But I just feel a lot of them are professionally unfulfilled.

I intend to go back abroad and return. But my anthem is simple; " I WILL NEVER DO MANUAL or MINIMUM WAGE JOBS. Wherever I go, I don't want to be in the lower rungs of the society I live in

The US remains the best choice for any professional willing to relocate abroad.

vickydevoka:
Your opinion no de pay bill. So keep this to yourself. I wan make my children grow with me don make my guy turn to beggar. Person go just get 1 million and a job way dem go fit sack am , en go just go marry. Same lady way tell am I love you, go come de frustrate am. Now u go come die leave your children way you wan make en grow with you. Omo me I hate suffer simple. I no mind make I no marry like celebrities instead of me to marry come de suffer

SAMBARRY:
It was obvious their friendship couldn't last because they are both opinionated,are alpha women,both are choleric and both have strong personality

Depriest2020:
When you choose to just be friends with ladies, if they like you & want more than just friends from you, and has giving you enough greenlight to take the friendship a step higher, if you don't, they would naturally be upset without telling u, they might stop talking to you as way of protest or be sad with you without telling you what the issues is all about. But some will start talking to you back after awhile.
That's just the simple truth, am speaking from experience.

AlphaTaikun:
@a8180421,
That's awesome! Thanks for
putting in the effort to give
detailed specifics about the pros and cons of living in your home
city... Pure market intel.

It's great you were born in the
U.S. and then lived back on the continent of Africa (i.e., Nigeria) before moving back to the
States. This gives those who have done so a proper grounding of the socio-cultural flow in Nigeria, Ghana, etc, and they are able to quickly navigate their way in the U.S. and take advantage of
the investment opportunities that the countries on both sides of the
Atlantic have to offer. Though he was born in Ibadan in 1954 before traveling to the U.S. in the 1970s
for his University education as a teen, the Houston, Texas-based business mogul, Kase Lawal's knowledge of the inner workings of Nigeria and the U.S. enabled him
to become a big player in the commodities and energy sectors
on both sides of the Atlantic with the setting up of CAMAC.


A former high school buddy of mine who was born of an AA mum (she worked for a major American airline that flew every week in the 1980s into Nigeria) and a Nigerian dad also moved to Nigeria as a kid, and after high school in Nigeria, he moved back to the U.S. and joined the Marine Corp just like his older bruv who flew combat jets during the first Gulf War in 1990-1991 (caused by Iraq's invasion and annexation of Kuwait).


I've been looking forward to exploring the real estate space in the Atlanta/Georgia area and your thread came in handy for me.

All the best to you and your
fam now and down the road.

Thanks again.

Thebadpolitican:
Ladies should be using iPhone not men I am currently using 3 android phones worth 500k, an hauwei, two Samsung, my next phone would be Samsung s23

I will only consider iPhone after I have explored all andriod top phones, then I will buy it for having sake

Karnice600:
Well in as much as a bit of this is true, I'll rather prefer you don't generalize this.

This friend of mine who schooled in Dalian University, way back in China, told me how Asian girls loved American men and their styles, especially with the hip hop flare. It didn't matter whether you're white or black, so long as they could get those vibes from your accents, dress sense and demeanor. He also pointed out to me that Russian girls as well as Chinese girls love Western guys with thuggish arrogance. He said the Russian women hated dating Chinese men. On the top of their preference scale were American artists, popular or upcoming. Next are Frenchman. Said they're believed to be very romantic, and then the Russian men so on...,

From my experience with the whites, the way they, especially the females, connect is quite different. I've discovered that passion turns them on. Just be good at what you do. A white lady loves you when you aren't watching. If they desire a black guy for his physical grace, most times its for strictly sex and nothing else. A white lady can use a black man for sexual fulfillment, but that only makes the guy more miserable because she can keep him disconnected from vital parts of her life, letting him feel he isn't worth it. How do you feel to discover you're a little better than a Love Machine?
White girls respect black men with brains, not abs. They have sex with you doesn't mean they respect you. That's how weird they seem. Your wits, your guts, your flow, your body language, your voice...these things matter most to them. Our females here tend to look for signs that translate to financial stability. Shoe quality, wrist watch brand... Although both whites and blacks appreciate good haircuts and toned bodies. That one dey. But that doesn't Accord the man his respect.
Their laws are also a big issue. Scandinavian girls are less lousy than American, but more possessive and bossy. Their laws favor feminine concerns more than America's.
When I visited Dublin for an exhibition with my wife some years back, we met a Finnish-Russian blonde, through a friend. We shook hands and we were introduced as a couple to her. She boldly told me she liked me and wouldn't mind if I'll be coming the next few months for a planned vacation by her crew. My wife got cross immediately. I smiled and told her I'll discuss that with my wife, who was now staring at her like a punching bag.
For your sisters I think they've not really gotten involved with some kinda social engagements. Attend a music class, meet people. Create a visible lifestyle and someone who loves it will connect with that personality. Unfortunately this may take some time.
Most folks who live overseas live a boring life. You gotta vibe. The environment there is so designed that you can create your reality, all be it with some extra efforts and money.
Na so e be.

Most Nigerian women are on the thick side and some obese, so you don't expect a white guy to go after them considering that they have their own definition of what beauty is to them.

Now, if you are fat or chubby according to the west standard, do not properly put your wigs on, hardly wear makeup, do not go out then how are western guys gonna look at you

In regards to Nigerian guys and dating abroad. It is difficult, sometimes Nigerian guys want to date Nigerian girls but their rude and aggressive attitude put them off.

Another dynamic is survival, coming from a poor country where survival is the game, the Nigerian guy mind is to meet a foreigner and entangle them towards a relationship so that they can be legal. The Nigerian girls loses out if all her men are looking for foreign women to date

WinterDreary:
I got this role, btw. I'll be happy to offer guidance strictly by email to others who may need one on stuff like this. This was a data science fellow role with statistics Canada and has elements of statistical modelling, machine learning, and data science.

Nice2023:
U created a new account to appear innocent.

U were earning 75k and u went and married and u think she wouldn't run like Ben Johnson.

U should saved money and invest it to provide u with a passive income but na marriage u follow.

I don't think u love yourself,if u really do,u would not marry a woman whose income u do not know.

Na only u enter that marriage...and that is why u are begging ur mother in law and also begging your wife.

Advice:
Start earning income and see ur wife come with full force.

Pls,in ur next life,do not marry semi liability as a wife and for women out there,do not settle for a man who can't take care of u.

U can abuse me i don't care but let us join hands in reducing poverty in our land.

Marriage needs money and without it,na trouble u dey look for.

Wish u the best in all u do.

Reminderz:
the way the system is designed is to keep the average people poor... it's the matrix.. you'll keep working and working and working while you forget yourself slowly... the taxes, the bills are designed in such a way you'll continue working as a slave till you die... this is why only until you break free from the matrix, and stop working as a slave, unlock your potentials that's when you start to enjoy life... but if you're still an NPC, doing what the average Joe does, you'll never amount to anything...

The Matrix, John Wick, Free City is trying to tell us the truth... but people aren't seeing it... When the guy in free city was still working as a slave (normal 9-5), he doesn't have time for himself or has any love life or any sources of income apart from that bank, he wanted to purchase a shoe with his salary, no matter how hard he works, didn't sustain him... until he was able to break free from the Matrix, that's when he started enjoying life and finally bought the shoe... most people are NPCs thinking they are free... it's a prison we design for ourselves and we night never break free because we are so dependent on the system, and powerful people made it so to keep the average person in control...

you may not believe it, but starting a good business in Nigeria is far better than oversees... at least for now... the taxes wahala, the laws to keep average people poor and in control, the bills, the known and unknown bills and restrictions ain't much here and you can easily scale up your business... but there.. you'll work and work and work and work till you have any sustainable income, and it will never be enough.... you need other sources of income, break free from the Matrix, think outside the box and stop consuming and doing what the average Joe does... most people think they are free or enjoying because they live in these cities that satisfies their illusions, but deep down, they are fvcking sad, depressed and tired... until you break free from your prison and anchors holding you down, you'll forever get stuck in this loop designed for the average person...

it is not about where you live or work, but how you live and work... people are still making it in this country till tomorrow, abi you want to tell me we don't have people suffering or homeless in overseas??.. it's about discipline, mindset and doing the right thing in order to win..

Babydaddymateri:
My fellow guys here go dey form one eye volton redpiller upandan as if sey they've never fell in love before and Dem never chop breakfast before. Awon online redpillers isonu; yet na them simp pass offline

kabukabu50:
Every single post about traveling abroad is filled with 90% of people who have never left their small village or town throwing around useless opinions.

If you have zero travel experience

Or you hear from your neighbor or distant cousins

Or your only experience is getting rejected at the embassy or deported keep your opinions to yourself.

There is a reason your wealthy and politicians send their children to school here and come here for medical treatment.

There is a reason why Nigerian communities in the US and all over the West are some of the most successful in the world.

If you have the ability to travel legally and are a hardworking determined person,you will succeed abroad.

If you're travelling with no legal documents,are a fraudster,have no work ethic and lack drive whatsoever then your probably going to fail.

Your foundation is what will be the difference maker.

MT:
Money dey everywhere in all part of the globe.

Two things are just prerequisites BEFORE you can lay claims to the golden key that opens the door :

1. Your legal permit in the country.
2. The values you possess. Are they much sought after values.

If you don't have both as stated above, you might be building a house in Nigeria, but you know truthfully you are living below the poverty line where you live and slaving away!

pansophist:
Nice plan, but wait o, I have seen people with such plans here, and even if they succeed, their life will never remain the same, and probably for the worse. Oya grab a popcorn let go

So you land at JFK New York airport, and probably that night, you match one whale on Tinder, and a week later, you propose. She was so excited and said YES. She said YES

So fast forward three months later, you guys are officially married, and the dawn of your American dream begins. You are on a straight ride to your green card, congratulations.

But because you didn't love her, and only sees her as a means to an end, her presence disgust you. Just the imagination of her triple-layer potbelly rubbing your body during sex makes you vomit and wonder if the juice is worth the squeeze

She proudly puts you guys' pics all over her Facebook, and something just looks off. Everyone can see it, even you. But since you are the best she can get, she doesn't care. She is happy that she found love.

Her life to you was very real, which makes it easier for her to live. But your own life is filled with lies, that made every day an agony for you. For example, she wonders why you hate holding her hands in public or going out with her since you do go out always.

She wants a child, and to keep the lies going, you have a child with a woman you desperately do not want. The sight of the child alone makes you angry, as it represents a living testimony of your lies.

Also, you are aware that even when you break up with her, the child becomes a dagger in your underbelly where you will pay child support till he/she is 18, to a woman you despise.

She probably is not an idiot. She knew deep down that something is off, and that you are with her for papers. If she doesn't knows, she has families, friends, and of course, social media to tell her that

She has evidence from your behavior because the last time you kissed her was last year, and even during her birthday, refuse to perform sexually as the black African man that you are

You keep asking yourself, does this paper even worth it? The job you manage to get is a job that stresses your life, and the money goes to sustain a home you don't want.

And if the devil wants to punish you completely, a few months to when you will be free from her without your immigration status being affected, she serves you the sweetest karma, by breaking up with you.

Then you start afresh.

To swipe for a new whale. But now you are older, probably broke as the average American, and under heavy child support payment. You just realize that suffering comes in different ways.

You reminisce on your freedom back home, and how even though you were poor, you had your life together. And wish you never started this journey.

This might not be your fate, but it's the fate of so many men in the diaspora. I personally know a 36-year-old guy with three baby mamas, still undocumented. He thought he was smart and went on an impregnation spree.

But the girls ain´t idiots. They realise he needed them for paper and never gave it to him. And if he successfully becomes a legal resident, he will start paying child support to three children. He might not even see his salary, it will be deducted automatically.

Then you realize that the saying ¨No peace for the wicked is true¨. And wish you never started this mess.

Sapeleomi:
______________________-------------
Thank you for your perspective.. It so painful sometimes that relatives in naija count the years you have left naija and begin to calculate how much you should have made or sent to help them.
The lack of human empathy or concern about your welfare is so disturbing. Some people are just ungrateful and bitter when their
high demand/expectation is not met..
Entitlement breeds dissapoitment.
Parents should train and provide for all wards their equally....Be resposible enough to have kids you can provide for. Poverty is a situation that can be avoided with proper planning..
Health and employment is not guaranteed.
Invest or at least take insurance and live within your means.. What's the point having many kids if your and wife cannot provide for them and be responsible for their unkeep.
It is very tough like the case in question for older siblings to train themselves and provide for older parents and then train siblings.
The Op sister, a female living abroad may not be available to go out and date cos of working long hours to meet family demand. It puts financial pressure on marriages/relationship.. Not sure is appealing to any potential suitor if your other half to be is constantly under pressure to provide for her family..and siblings.
I see why abroad people settle down late..
Not married yet look at what the poor lady is subject to..

koladata:
people are listening to that song outside nigeria than Nigerians. i was surprised many people have that song as their ring tone outside Nigeria. we no dey too value these musicians like they value them outside .

kroger:
US and Canada.

kroger:
US and Canada.

Lordofalmajiri:
Omo you go ynash girls tire while suffering in secret 😉😌... iPhone boring die

damzy88:
Hello all,

I have always used Samsung phone and I am trying to get a new phone so I am trying to decide whether to continue with Samsung or try IPhone.

I am trying to get the new Samsung S23 Ultra or the IPhone 14 Pro or Pro Max.

Thoughts?

Thanks