₦airaland Forum

Lalasticlala, plz move to frontpaqe to help people ease up their nerves

Menstruation Testimony! During church service, this 16-year old pastor's daughter stood up and says:"praise the Lord!" everybody shouted with joy, "Hallelujah". She continued: "since the age of 13, I've been experiencing painful monthly periods. But now, after a series of Bible studies and prayers with brother Jimmy in his house, my monthly periods have stopped for more than 3 months now. No more pain, no more menstruation. You can see I'm even getting fatter and prettier. We are starting to pray seriously about the small problem of vomiting, especially in the morning. Praise the Lord". The whole church was silent! Brother jimmy fainted

Cc: lalasticlala

Holyfield1:
I met her 5 years ago through her brother who happened to be my mentor, We became friends and shared a lot of thoughts together, Just 3 months ago, I asked her out and she declined telling me ''We're just friends'',''I can't date you'' and all that, I was so sore hearted because I was expecting an affirmative since we are so close.

A very close friend of mine tried to convince her but she stood her ground, She would send me ''Hi'' first on Whatsapp and FB and I'd wait for like 2 minutes before replying her even after I might have read the message, She keep chatting me up and I reply harshly most times, Now I'm really confused because she was not like that before, She would send me greetings, like and even comment on my statuses which she doesn't do before and so many signs, Now I'm really confused ''Could she be tripping for me''?

What happened to the principle of 'chop and clean mouth'

uselessgoat:
ALL I SEE IS THEIR FLAT HEADS.

TWO UGLY IGBO SCUMS FORKING EACH OTHER AND LYING TO GULLIBLE PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE RELATED.


IRRESPONSIBLE BIAFRA ELEMENTS

Ure as useless as ur username, I blame buhari tho'

Rev Okotie, who is the chairman of the Fresh Democratic Party, said the onus is now on the APC federal government to shift the governance paradigm and move the nation forward.

In a statement issued by his Lagos office on Thursday, October 1, he said: ‘’Every nation faces some daunting odds at some point; the important thing is for them to overcome such hurdles and move on. In Nigeria’s case, we have not been able to do that because of the perennial plague of bad leadership.

Millz404:
Senate President Bukola Saraki on Thursday said the process of lawmaking in Nigeria would no longer be business as usual.

“At 55, we have finally discovered that we are on the wrong road. We have finally moved to the road that leads to progress, hope, employment, prosperity and Nigeria will finally attain that greatness that God destined it for. We are on the way,” he said.

SHiT!!!
Imaqine what a 55year old man will look like, mtchheew.

Naija just discoverinq we're on the wronq track, a fool at 30. . , . .

Shiooor...yinmu! Abeq person qimme water make I wash face, sleep dey catch me

I laud ur photoshop ability, BTW, blue is the colour, die hard chelsea fan...win, draw or lose

That man is an in-house saboteur, I care less what he says

ernesty20:
.

Space bookinq huh

Nigeria has reached a major polio “milestone” and has been removed from the list of polio-endemic countries after a year of not reporting a single case of wild polio.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) said Nigeria has not reported a case of wild polio virus since July 24, 2014.
“All laboratory data confirm that 12 months have passed without any new case in the country.
“Nigeria has brought the world one major step closer to achieving this goal and it is critical that we seize this opportunity to end polio for good and ensure that future generations of children are free from this devastating disease.
“This leaves only Pakistan and Afghanistan as the only countries with endemic cases of the disease,’’ the organisation said in a statement issued in Abuja on Saturday.
The statement quoted the Global Polio Eradication Initiative as describing the development as historic achievement in global healthcare.

http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/190624-nigeria-removed-from-list-of-polio-endemic-countries.html

4stylz:
Don't forgive cos she will still cheat on you and plead with you; don't pity her, let her go.

I have no reason not to support this...

GudluckIBB:
Young Man, the Bible says anyone who lacks wisdom should ask.
Jonathan MEET dollar @144

@ capitalized; Typical of Buhari's followers

GudluckIBB:
Young Man, the Bible says anyone who lacks wisdom should ask.
Jonathan MEET dollar @144

Typical of Buhari's followers

GudluckIBB:
Young Man, the Bible says anyone who lacks wisdom should ask.

Jonathan meet dollar @144 and left it @ 222.
Recall that. When Buhari was declared the winner, dollar was trading at 208 against the naira.

Always get details before commenting so that you don't end up embarrasing your self

Now you're embarrassing yourself! Jonathan left the naira to dollar value! BTW, when buhari was declared winner, who was the president??! So when dollar was tradinq 208, it was still the work of GEJ

jayriginal:
It means don't tell lies to men the way you tell to women.

That's the abomination right there

What will happen when the man beat the supposed woman....#wrestlinq! I qo like observe

nikkiking:
Pishure .

Explore the link

This is an emotional moment as gay dads gives birth and met
their son for the first time..The couple’s emotional moment was
captured by photographer Lindsay Foster who wrote “I had the
opportunity to photograph this amazing birth on June 27 for a
surrogate and two expecting and anxious daddies.
Hours were spent with them in the hospital room while the
surrogate mom was laboring and I got to know them quite
well.They are two compassionate people who felt all the
emotions that every new parent feels. They asked all
appropriate questions of the birthing mom and the midwife and
educated themselves as best as they could for their son’s arrival.
I am so proud of these two dads.” The pictures liked over 6,000
times also attracted negative comments and the couple, Mr
Barone and Mr Nelson said… “Thank you to everyone out there
who has taken the time to like, comment and share our picture!
This was truly an incredible moment in our lives that will be
captured forever by the lovely Lindsay Foster Photography.
We are so lucky that we have a beautiful, healthy baby boy! All
comments posted are respected, although we may not agree
with the negative ones, the positive ones far outweigh the
negative. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
This is a moment of pure love and acceptance. Milo is
surrounded by unconditional love and he will grow up knowing
many different types of families and accept everyone,
(intolerant people included). Milo was born during World Pride.
This picture represents everything Pride is about. Love has no
colour nor gender nor s*xual preference. Love is unconditional.
Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts! xxoo”




Cc: ishilove lalasticlala




http://www.extraloaded.com.ng/2015/09/unbelievable-gayy-dads-gives-birth-to.html

Bobbystanley:
I dont like Buhari.

I didnt vote for him but to be Honest,

This man is focus, he has vision to Rule this nation.

Just in less than four months, things are begining to go well. Now I understand why he chose his close associates as his personal staff.
You don't expect him to appoint Ameachi who Betrayed his own people. He could also betray Baba anytime.

Abi U want him to appoint Ngige that would want to impeach him overnight.

I have resigned from the wailing Wailers.
But I would still condemn Baba if he gets it wrong.

Bros just talk true, U voted buhari...lyinq liars

princechrming:
I'm no grammar purist but over the years, my avidity for words and lexical profundity had ignited a proclivity for grammar correctness in me. These words/idioms which I will be talking about have been erroneously used even on national media platforms and among the average educated Nigerian who uses/interprets such words wrongly countless times.

Some of these lexical misinterpretation are egregious grammatical blunders, some are a case of solecism and I could call some a case of neologism. But why such neologism can't be accepted is because "Nigerian English" has yet to be upgraded to ranks of other recognised versions and dialects of English like American, British, Australian or New Zealand English.

I know English language isn't out mother tongue but for the fact that its the most recognised language in the world and also our lingua franca we ought to speak and interpret it correctly. I remember back then as a fresh graduate done with my compulsory one year national service (NYSC), I went for an interview and unconsciously educated my interviewers about a word. During the interview I kept on pronouncing the word "debt" in its correct pronunciation of /dɛt/ and the "b" being totally silent which sounds like how we Nigerians erroneously pronounce the word "death" directly as "det" rather than /dɛθ/, the Human Resources Manager - Dr. Sylvester stopped me at some point to express his confusion at me and inquired why I was using the word "death" in my speech. I then said- "Oh, sorry sir, I meant D-E-B-T (spelling it out verbally) but the "b" is totally silent in its correct pronunciation, we Nigerians pronounce it wrongly most times voicing out the "b" in that word".
He felt quite embarrassed and he asked the next interviewer to continue with me and I saw him put his face down looking into his laptop, most definitely trying to confirm my claim by referring to his Encarta Dictionary on his laptop. Well, I still got the job and Dr. Sylvester told me later on that apart from other factors, he approved me for the job because of my ability to educate him on a word which he was totally oblivious to despite his decades of erudition.

In order not to bore you guys with more prolegomenon, I'd dive straight into the matter at hand, find below 12 of these words/idioms we use or interpret wrongly.



1. Yesteryears - This word has no plural form. Its always used as "yesteryear" be it in singular or plural form. I'm sure this error came about because of the word "nowadays" which is antithetical to "yesteryear". I have an uncle who back then would always castigate us by saying- "All these children of nowadays, if you all were to use our school curriculum of 'yesteryears' you all would fail". He is so lucky I didn't know what I know now back then, I would have corrected him immediately!
A correct example of its use is; "Songs of 'yesteryear' are better lyrically than songs of nowadays"


2. Chanced - Countless times, I hear things like- "I won't be chanced to see you later on this evening", and the interlocutor meant he/she will not be free to see me in the evening, meaning he would be busy or occupied. That's wrong grammar! The word "chance" or chanced" as a verb has two meanings, namely;
1- "to risk", for example- "I'll chance the worst happening",
2- "to happen by chance", for example- "I chanced to catch sight of her as she passed.
So desist from using "chanced" to refer to being "not busy" or "free". Instead you can say "I don't have free time in the evening for us to meet" or "I can't see you in the evening because I don't have time to spare" or simply say "I'll be busy in the evening, so we can't meet"


3. Lousy - "Jane is such a lousy girl, she talks too much like a running tap!" Have you ever heard a derogatory statement like that before? I'm sure you have. The word "lousy" here is mostly misinterpreted by Nigerians to mean "talkative and noisy" or "loud and arrogant in talking". We tend to relate the word "lousy" to "loud".

Lousy simple means "unpleasant, "inferior or bad" or "provided with an excess amount (of)".
Examples of correct use include: "That's a lousy thing to do", "This is a lousy film, its production is too poor", "He's lousy with money."


4. "Sendforth" instead of "Sendoff" - I'm sure you have seen a lot of invitations for "sendforth" parties in the past. Well, there is no word as "sendforth" in the dictionary. The correct word is "sendoff" which is "a demonstration of good wishes to a person about to set off on a journey, career, etc"


5. Severally Nigerians misinterpret and wrongly use this word to mean "several times" or "a lot of times". You would hear someone say- "Rita has warned her severally but she won't listen". That's very wrong!
The word "severally" is an adverb which means "separately", " individually" or "distinctly".
A correct use can be- "Please after you wash the clothes, spread them severally on the rope", which implies you want the clothes to be dried individually on the rope.


6. Birds of the same feathers flock together - This is a very popular idiomatic blunder used by Nigerians. The correct idiom is "Birds of A FEATHER flock together" and not "Birds of THE SAME FEATHERS flock together"


7. Opportune(d) - You'd hair someone say something like "I wasn't opportuned to be born with a silver spoon" to refer to the fact that he didn't "have the opportunity" or "privilege" to be born into wealth. That's utterly erroneous! Because, "opportune" means "occurring at a time that is suitable or well-timed".
A correct example of its use: "she has been waiting for the opportune moment to tell him she wants a break up." Here is another correct example: "I'm waiting for the opportune moment to propose to my darling Rita"


8. Impeach - In Nigeria, you'd hear statements like this- "The president must be impeached whether he likes it or not!". And what they mean is that the president should be removed from office.
Politically, "impeach" means "to charge a public official with an offence committed in office" It doesn't ultimately mean removing the official from office, just as being charge to court for an alleged offence doesn't guarantee the defendant would be jailed as a result.
For example, if an average Nigerian hears the statement- "President Bill Clinton of the USA was impeached in 1998", he/she would interpret it that Bill Clinton was removed from office. But that's not the case, Bill Clinton was impeached but wasn't removed from office, he served his full presidential term, impeachment here meant he was charged to court for an alleged offence of purgery (which was related to alleged sexual relations with a white house staff) but he was later acquitted and proven innocent, and he went on to complete his full presidential tenure.
So, the word "impeach" doesn't ultimately mean to remove a politician from office.


9. "Stay clear" instead of "Steer clear" - This idiomatic plunder doesn't need much explanation. Its an error of using "stay" instead of "steer", maybe because both words are closely related in pronunciation. Please mind this error in your oral and written English.
So next time you wanna sternly warn that boss at work flirting with your office girlfriend, tell him- "Hey Mr. Managing Director, you better 'steer' clear of Rita my girlfriend or else...". (Please do it at your own risk o! Your sack letter might just be his reply to you)


10. Sentiment - During arguments, its common to hear things like- "Don't bring in sentiments into this, let's be truthful and factual" or "Can we just be objective in this country and cast sentiments aside?"
The average Nigeria interprets the word "sentiment" to mean "being bias", exhibiting prejudice or the opposite of objectivity. Quite wrong!
Below are meanings of the word sentiment:
1- "an opinion or thought"
2- "prone to tender, delicate or romantic emotion"
3- "a feeling, emotion or awareness"
4- "fake or excessive show of emotion"
Below are examples of correct use of the word "sentiment":
- "My sentiment(my opinion) concerning this issue is that we wait to see what happens first before we take any action.
- "She has too much sentiment to be successful in this industry, it will not favour her. (Meaning she is too soft or fragile emotionally to cope in such an industry)
- "A sentiment of pity" (Meaning a feeling or emotion of pity)
- "She went sentimental and started crying immediately I told her I was breaking up with her when I caught her cheating"

That said, let's stop using the word "sentiment" to represent "bias" or "prejudice", instead, you can say- "Please put aside all prejudice or bias so we can analyse this issue thoroughly" or just say- "Do away with your subjective views and try to be objective for once"


10. Instalmentally - We Nigerians invented this word from the word "instalment" to mean something divided for payment at specified intervals over a fixed period. But there is no adverb like this in the dictionary. Instead of saying "I will pay you instalmentally" rather say "I will pay you in instalments"


11. Go-slow - Nigerian use this word to refer to a traffic jam, but the word "Go-slow" or "Slowdown" for US English refers to "an occasion when employees work more slowly and with less effort than usual to try to make an employer to agree to pay them higher wages or give them better working conditions". So next time say "I'm in a traffic jam" rather than say "I'm in a go-slow"


12. Barb - I'm sure when an average Nigerian man wants to go cut his hair, he would say- "I want to barb my hair" right?
The word "barb" is a multifarious word but NONE of its meanings has anything to do with the act of cutting/trimming hair.
The word "barber" is a noun used to refer to someone whose business is cutting men's hair and shaving or trimming beads, but also, the word "barber" is a verb as well which means "to cut the hair of" or "to shave or trim the beard of".
For example, you can say- "Can you barber me now?" (Meaning: "can you cut/trim my hair now?" Another example is- "I want to barber my hair". Sounds funny right? Yes it does but its correct grammar.


Note - This article is in no way trying to ridicule or pillory Nigerians as a result our lexical inadequacies but to help further enlighten one another's word base and understanding.

Happy first of September Nigeria! I wish us all a fruitful and safe last quarter of the year!



This article is an intellectual property of the author, no part of this article may be published, copied, transmitted/transferred electronically or in print without the express permission of the author whose online pseudonym/trademark is "Prince Charming"
Contact - pryncecharming001@gmail.com
Copyright © 2015 Prince Charming™

Last quarter??! We're just in the concludinq month of the 3rd quarter, dnt fast forward time biko

DropShot:
We no call da clueless a southern president nah. We managed his mismanagement then.

We the 'wailers' don't manaqe incompetence, it's just in our bloodstream! #allerqic to illiterates!

DropShot:
Make anybody wey no like Buhari pack go im papa country comot for naija for us.
Oracle has spoken.

The same way U and ur family packed out of niqeria when Jonathan was the president fah?!

OboloMAN:
...That's one way to get noticed! -




Anything for fame, Buhari should investigate this War Against Indicent Dressing

Use his favourite word "probe"

powerfulsettingz:
i heard someone upstairs r saying he worked hard for it, where did he start from? Do know how much his father invested on him to be a top musician in Nigeria? Money stop nonsense

Sorry to burst your bubble, his father didn't invest in his music career that much, that's if he invested at all! His father was never in support of his music career from onset

Actress Toyin Aimakhu had tongues wagging today after she made some drastic changes on her instagram page.She removed all traces of her hubby Adeniyi Johnson and referred to herself as Miss.The couple celebrated their second anniversary in July ...
Meanwhile,her hubby has not made any changes to his.This won't be the first time this is happening.Last year, Toyin announced they had split on her instagram page.They only worked it out after pleas from fans,family and friends..


Cc: lalasticlala, ishilove

http://www.dorovibes.com/2015/08/trouble-in-paradise-toyin-aimakhu-calls.html?m=1

CHESSBOARD:
Waoo churchly beautiful girl... there are few wife materials like you here on NL,....the smile alone...just like my wife

Dhz quy zz dreaminq, abeq wake up

jonaifame22:
I swear na true u talk,any time I see a gal wth beads and e come be sey the top wey she wear come go up small wey e be sey the thing dey reveal the bead ehn I dey always look the gal until she dey out of sight as I dey look am many thoughts go dey run for my mind

Kids everywhere

mascot87:
We can see the foolishness of Igbo's in action on twitter

.


Use ur head, not your balls when reasoninq! Why the hate qan

Ijaw chieftain, Edwin Clark has called on President Muhammadu Buhari tolive up to his ‘I belong to everybody, but I belong to nobody’ mantra.
''It is only when the battle against corruption is genuinely and seriously fought without fear of favour that endearing legacies of a transformed country could bequeathed to future generations. As Nigerians, we are all equal without regard to race, creed and tribe. It is therefore my candid appeal to President Buhari to live his priceless mantra ‘I belong to everybody, but I belong to nobody’ in the manner, that the affairs of state are conducted, regardless of who gave him 95 percent votes and 5 percent of votes.

Cc: laasticlala

More @ http://www.nigerianbulletin.com/threads/edwin-clark-to-buhari-live-up-to-your-%E2%80%98i-belong-to-everybody-but%E2%80%8E-i-belong-to-nobody%E2%80%99.116559

BobUg28:
West Brom Vs Chelsea (3 - 0) On 18th May 2015.

Today ain't gonna be different.

Wake up to the dawn of reality...

ebamma:
funny how chelsea fans get too excited after one win,

Bad belle, bien venue