₦airaland Forum

kel4soft: You built it?

4Play: I agree that Nigerians - whether in Govt or not -are looking for simple solutions. However, this anecdote about a Nigerian asking for equipment that effectively reads minds sounds completely fabricated.

kennyman20: op, sorry about what you're passing through..
Truth be told, from my experience. Your husband is a yahoo guy and what he's using the woman to do is to clear fake checks.. Thats what he's using the woman for. Dont be decieved. He's not into any IT stuffs.. Well, maybe because he can operate a computer system, lieing to you that he's an IT engineer instead of telling you what he's really using the system for made it easy for him to blindfold you from the truth.

Op, take your time to get a hold of his computer system and go through the files inside.

If you dont see pics of fake checks and other fake documents and fake info that they use for their scamming evil deeds..

Come back and call me a bastard.

I believe althrough the courtship. He's just lieing to you and i wonder how you couldnt figure it out, or did he lose his job and had to start scamming?

I wonder how it get so long like this before you get to know.. How come??

Op, i have taken it softly with u in my above post. Its time for me to take it hard with u.

Op, it'ld be better for you to stop lieing and decieving people that u never knew the real job of your man althrough you guys courtship. You wont say the truth cos you're eager to get advice to ur present predicament. So, you had to come up with a post thats full of lies just to get advice to what u're currently going through.

You're also a thief!! You're not a christian or whatever you call yourself.. You're enjoying the money with him not until when things started getting out of hand and you see that the relationship between you and him that serves as an opportunity for you to continue enjoying the money is going down the drain.

Na person like you dey help them call their male counterparts in cases when pretend as if they are females.. Thats part of what u've been doing to him.

How in this world would you believe that an IT engineer and money pick up correlate?

Based on the way you wrote your post. You arent an illiterate for you not to know that something is wrong somewhere.

My advice, next time dont come here and spew lies and think nairaland has dumb set of people that will believe you.

Finally, until you tell us the truth. I'll tell you what to do..

omicron: From the submissions of most people here, it appears that the perspective of most nigerians is:

If you are not satisfied with your conditions of work, DO NOTHING, cos if you demand for better welfare from the government, WE will make sure that we bring you down.

Nigerians fighting themselves instead of the disgusting system we have since 1914

esere826: @ ifyclose2

You made your points. I agree with some and query some others
My family tree is laden with doctors, and I have lots of friends that are both doctors and other type of health professionals.
Make i join this matter small.

1)
the nigerian soldier whose neck was cut on youtube video was on a salary of 40K
...harzard of a unique kind

2)
When the ebola thing surfaced, some of us expected the strike to be temporarily called off
to adress the ebola challenge
this would have shown the other nigerians that the strike was driven by principles

At least NMA for negotiate with FGN to set up a small insurance pot for doctors and other health officials
just for the duration of the ebola issue
..but no, it looked like a good tool to blackmail the FGN, and unwittingly Nigerians
this is really, really worrying

3)
The good doctor is not being praised for risking her life in treating Patrick Sawyer
No,..she's being praised for being intelligent enough to restrict his movement thereby saving Nigeria
from what would have been a biological catastrophy

You notice that others are not being praised that much. It is not because they are 'lowly' nurses
,..its just that act of intelligence which saved us that is being praised

Now, if the NMA doctors had an emergency meeting and forsook their demands temporartily just for this
they would have been considered heroes too

NafeesaAA: I don't abuse people, all what I have said have come to pass If, however you cross the boundary of civility, I have no obligation to treat you with even a modicum of courtesy. You called me a Boko Haram sympathizer without provocation! Which confirms you sprung from the dirtiest and most malodorous groins of the most disgusting tart ever born. You are destitute of civilization and elementary decency. Your maggot infected brain is of such severity and irreversibility as to be incapable of penetration by reason. Abusing people is the laziest and cheapest tool of scumbags like you who can neither think nor argue intelligently. When people accuse you wrongly, it tells a lot about their backgrounds of bastardy. When a man was born on the wrong side of the blanket, making him recognize the value of courtesy is like giving a mirror to a blind man!

Amya: Reverence. . . That word. Well I think it's wronng in this context. Reverence is not 'submitting', mind you. Using that word for God is okay but using that for a fellow man though your husband, and one that upset you at that is just pushing it.

I'm up for couples resolving whatever issue they maybe having in a mature and respective way. It's only natural though that the upset party get it off their chest even if it means yelling.

Amya: Reverence. . . That word. Well I think it's wronng in this context. Reverence is not 'submitting', mind you. Using that word for God is okay but using that for a fellow man though your husband, and one that upset you at that is just pushing it.

I'm up for couples resolving whatever issue they maybe having in a mature and respective way. It's only natural though that the upset party get it off their chest even if it means yelling.

Godmystrength: We are all striving to do our best but it is just unfair when all you hear around is as if it only the woman that has to make the marriage work.
e.g,
question - why do some men gain weight after marriage?
most response - because their WIVES overfeed them, or feed them with nonsense. (wives' fault)
question - why do some women gain weight after marriage?
most response - because they seat around doing nothing and just eating all day and are just lazy to keep fit. (wives' fault)

For marriage to work, both parties must play their part and not just leave the whole burden on one of the spouse.

Amya: Reverence. . . That word. Well I think it's wronng in this context. Reverence is not 'submitting', mind you. Using that word for God is okay but using that for a fellow man though your husband, and one that upset you at that is just pushing it.

I'm up for couples resolving whatever issue they maybe having in a mature and respective way. It's only natural though that the upset party get it off their chest even if it means yelling.

Godmystrength: You are right. We had our women's convention the weekend in my church and the speaker that was invited on Sunday was just talking about women this women that bla bla bla. With all the men in attendance o. Saying things like what's in the OP and only one line for the men begging them to love their wives. You can imagine an irresponsible man in the congregation who will now go home and be trying to enforce what the speaker has said without any plan of changing his ways. he will now see the wife as not submissive. Whereas, when the men have their programmes, for the ones they manage to invite us(women), you will not hear things like that. Only success preachings on how to make it and be successful in life etc.

As if the woman is not a human being too.

bukatyne: Lol!

It is not easy and depends on the offence

If she catches him on another woman...

bukatyne: Lol!

It is not easy and depends on the offence

If she catches him on another woman...

damselleen: We have talked together. I told him, I wanted our introduction to be postpone. He agreed reluctantly but warned me that if he takes another woman home to meet his family, I shouldn't blame him.

Going ahead with this introduction knowing what I know, knowing who I am, knowing where I came from will be...... Anyway thanks once again.

emmanuel4758: how does that concern me ..spit on you ...mtchew

MRbrownJAY: at last, someone who is bringing some valid intelligent points to this discussion...... now, let us see:

MRbrownJAY: the people YOU have elected in power need to share the loot with one another......lol, there will be nothing left when they are done with the budget, and if there is anything left, then building power plant is MORE IMPORTANT than buying jets and tanks that are obsolete against BH.



countries who do are either at war with other countries, fearing war against other countries or HAVE THE FUNDS FOR IT! Nigeria have meither of the 3 mentionned.



then you r problem is not BH, it is corruption then.......... and either you wont get the money to buy or fix anything.



how does air supremacy works in a forest?! how is that helping?
the Gov might not be serious on the issues, yes, but that certainly does not mean that it should buy a fleet of planes at a cost of $35milla each and tank equally expensive.

1st we need to figure what is the problem, and then 2nd find proper solutions that we can sustain. there is no point in spending gazillions on buying planes if A) it doesnt solve the problem, B) the problem returns when we cannot continue care for these planes or C) it kills thousands of innocent people in the same process (imagine one of the collateral damage was your close family member).

it took 10+ yrs for the US and its mighty army to finally catch up with Osama, and guess what? al qaeda is still bombing innocent people left right and center. so if this is the type of solution you guys are looking for then let us all stop fooling ourselves and let these bastard politicians continue chop the money and buy mansions in the Dubai (since you guys believe that bringing 24hr electricity to all Nigerians is LESS important than buying jets and tanks) .

Kachisbarbie: If a lady can't hold any meaningful conversation with u, two things are involved
- either she doesn't like you
-or she doesn't have anything to say (maybe owing to bad mood, the topic , she might just be like that naturally etc)

For me, the first 1 is the most likely case, If I keep crashing ur convo, I DON'T LIKE U
In the absence of that, I'm very good company...so good that my friends nicknamed me 'Social Prefect'.

As for the stroll part, trust me I can trek from here to Jerusalem, and it pisses my hubby off sef. He says I like suffer

Tolexander: Another interesting parts of the letter writing is that it isn't something you can just write in a matter of seconds.
You will need sitting down for hours or days to draft after consulting dictionaries and friends that are gurus in the line. Most times they are always of the same verses. Cos the verses are from the days of Witney Houston, Boys II men (the 80 blues in short), Celine Dion and later, westlifes.

After drafting the letter, one would now sit down calmly to write on a clean sheet of paper with very fine handwriting or call on a trusted friend or sib with a very fine handwriting to help write the letter drafted with close monitoring so that there won't be any mistake. And if there is, that's gonna be another paper.

Many times, it isn't given by the person trying to woo the lady/guy but the accomplice.

cbrass: Your pics is really cool and sooo sweet

priscaoge: What about guys? It's really unfortunate that Maybe u have been around lazy and boring ones. My dear try and change environment and people (Ladies) U hang out with and I bet u, U Will come back here singing praises for Ladies.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
can someone tell me what will "having fighter jets and tank" do against BH?! you dont fight terrorism in your own country with fighter jets and tanks, you fight it with intelligence on the ground, secret services that actually work so that you can infiltrate these cells and expose them.

unyours: guess what? You get these qualities when you hit the gym

coogar: did this work for you?
just because it worked for you doesn't mean it would work for others. like i said few weeks back, majority of the nigerian women have the sex drive of a shoe!

i pity the OP....
this is why i would always support premarital sëx. i'd rather deal with this kinda problem before marriage than after. women love to talk the talk but they rarely walk the walk. after fulfilling all righteousness, marrying a woman that is a log of wood in bed is extremely unfair.

5minsmadness: Op its never easy being with a woman who doesn't like sex. Women are not built like men, they like to talk and make a lot of noise but at the end of the day they don't value sex as much as men do. That's why someone here is still blaming you after you waited 3weeks after your marriage.

That being said, forcing her finally may not have been the best way to go but what's done is done.

Your wife is frigid. It could be physical(from vaginismus) but from your post about her virginity and her inability to conceive a man climbing her I'm thinking its more psychological. Either way, treatment is hard and is going to require a lot of patience on your part.

1. Do not watch porn with her. It will make her feel all the more sinful and also pornstars are actors. The acrobatics they do and the duration of the sex isn't real. For those who find it difficult to give up porn Google "how porn is made". You'll be shocked.

2. There is however an adult movie you can watch that Ithink she will accept more. It is called "Better lover" or "The love guide". Different names but the same film. It is more scientific and I think even a pastor was involved in the discussion. It is a western film and explains the process of sex in a very sensible way. Ask your local film seller for it, it is quite popular. It will tell her all she needs to know, how to be comfortable with sex and enjoy it with you without violating her senses.

3. You have to be patient.

4. Treat sex like a lesson. For her sex can't be spontaneous, as long as she isn't expecting it she'll freeze up once you start initiating any pre-intimacy. Tell her a date two of you will have sex. You both must be relaxed and not stressed up e.g like returning from work or after heavy cooking or rushing around. A Saturday is preferable. She should be encouraged to talk and tell you what she likes as you are doing it to her. This is beneficial in three ways.

- it let's you know what turns her on and what doesn't.

- her talking about it makes her feel in control. She will know the sex will only go at the speed she wants.

- talking about it can also be arousing for her.

3. When its time to penetrate you can let it be in the sitting position if she is not comfortable with the "man-on-top" or missionary position. You can even try the "woman on top" position. Am sure you won't mind as long as the end result is that you finally have sex with your wife.

4. This above session usually does not end in sex in the first attempt. She will be initially shy and some laughing and clumsiness will be involved. This is not the time to mock her skills. Doing so will be very very bad and destroy her self confidence. Be patient. By the third to fifth try you guys should be having full blown sex and be comfortable with each other's unclothedness.

5. Try to find time to give her full body massages and make it clear from the onset that sex will not be involved. It will make her feel loved and also increase her libido and if you are lucky and do it well she'll be the one to break the rule and ask for sex afterwards but if she doesn't its still OK.


All the best.

5minsmadness: Op its never easy being with a woman who doesn't like sex. Women are not built like men, they like to talk and make a lot of noise but at the end of the day they don't value sex as much as men do. That's why someone here is still blaming you after you waited 3weeks after your marriage.

That being said, forcing her finally may not have been the best way to go but what's done is done.

Your wife is frigid. It could be physical(from vaginismus) but from your post about her virginity and her inability to conceive a man climbing her I'm thinking its more psychological. Either way, treatment is hard and is going to require a lot of patience on your part.

1. Do not watch porn with her. It will make her feel all the more sinful and also pornstars are actors. The acrobatics they do and the duration of the sex isn't real. For those who find it difficult to give up porn Google "how porn is made". You'll be shocked.

2. There is however an adult movie you can watch that Ithink she will accept more. It is called "Better lover" or "The love guide". Different names but the same film. It is more scientific and I think even a pastor was involved in the discussion. It is a western film and explains the process of sex in a very sensible way. Ask your local film seller for it, it is quite popular. It will tell her all she needs to know, how to be comfortable with sex and enjoy it with you without violating her senses.

3. You have to be patient.

4. Treat sex like a lesson. For her sex can't be spontaneous, as long as she isn't expecting it she'll freeze up once you start initiating any pre-intimacy. Tell her a date two of you will have sex. You both must be relaxed and not stressed up e.g like returning from work or after heavy cooking or rushing around. A Saturday is preferable. She should be encouraged to talk and tell you what she likes as you are doing it to her. This is beneficial in three ways.

- it let's you know what turns her on and what doesn't.

- her talking about it makes her feel in control. She will know the sex will only go at the speed she wants.

- talking about it can also be arousing for her.

3. When its time to penetrate you can let it be in the sitting position if she is not comfortable with the "man-on-top" or missionary position. You can even try the "woman on top" position. Am sure you won't mind as long as the end result is that you finally have sex with your wife.

4. This above session usually does not end in sex in the first attempt. She will be initially shy and some laughing and clumsiness will be involved. This is not the time to mock her skills. Doing so will be very very bad and destroy her self confidence. Be patient. By the third to fifth try you guys should be having full blown sex and be comfortable with each other's unclothedness.

5. Try to find time to give her full body massages and make it clear from the onset that sex will not be involved. It will make her feel loved and also increase her libido and if you are lucky and do it well she'll be the one to break the rule and ask for sex afterwards but if she doesn't its still OK.


All the best.