₦airaland Forum

Babe1994:
Hi

I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.

1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s

2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t

3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.

4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.

5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.

6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.

7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.

I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.

I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.



Thank you .

Nlfpmod front page please

Thanks

I don't understand the divorce part?. Where is the divorce coming from when he has not marry u?.
I

FG won't do anything after loosing 17 life but are comfortable to tell us that ECOWAS and EU have ask them to send sAmry to fight a battle wah no concern them.

Flora2Sweet:
Tourist no dey work na🤣🤣 you came to tour and go back to ur country... think well ooo

which kind tourism go last for 5 whole years?.

Sharpsharp00123:
u are d shameless ones who see others as criminals n see your own as angels

U want us to believe obi is an angel but tinubu is a criminal abi?

Na hard craze dey hook u

if obi is not a Saint let anybody come up with any dirty and shaddy character of him. Till then he still remain a Saint where people like Tinubu are.
For the record I'm not an Igbo man or any where near South South.

iwaeda:
https://dailytrust.com/breaking-female-soldier-guns-down-captain-in-adamawa/

imposing curfew because of breaking into foof warehouse meanwhile insecurity that needed attention is not giving such drastic measures. My country! My country.

Imagine even farmers are now advising Tinubu.

Sonnetoshodi:
Hello everyone.

I've been celibate for 10 months. Till I had sex couple days ago.

Before that time, I saw my self as God's favorite.

But now I just feel like God and I had a quarrel.
It hurts so bad, cause it's now like I don't know how to go to him.

A week now I've not said my night or morning prayers.

Has God left me? Can we still be close?
Have I don't something unpardonable.

you are still not a good Christian, if not u will not limit the power of God forgiveness.

Icrave4u:
YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN LAGOS: 17 Things you must not do.

1. On a bus, When you sit by the window. Never operate your phone, It will be snatched from your hand. This is a quintessential occurence in some surbuban parts of Lagos such as Agege and Mushin. In fact, anywhere in Lagos.

2. Whenever someone greets you on the road, Do not answer him or her especially when he approaches you from behind.

3. If you see people fighting, Mind your business!!. I repeat MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!

4. You must learn how to argue with a bus conductor, when he tries cheating you.
And please whenever you do. Please don't use Standard English. You must have had a good knowledge of Pidgin before you come to Lagos. If not I can teach you. 🤣

5. Walk with a known Nigerian, on the first weeks of your stay in Lagos. He'll show you the ropes or else you go suffer.

6. Whenever you're walking in a deserted area in Lagos. Walk like a gangster, not like a responsible person. If you do, Miscreants will feel you're defensive and wouldn't come close to you. Street sense ✌🤣

7. Anything you did not find on your head, Please don't pick it. (You understand what I mean).

8. When you're crossing the road. Turn into a Ronaldo. Cars come in massive droves. They won't hit you but you must learn how to dribble them. 🤣

9. When you want to buy soft drinks, Buy soft drinks from people hawking in the traffic. It is believed that the drinks taste sweeter than the ones bought from people in shops😅. Just a belief!!

10. When you see a large number of people running, don't wait or ask questions. Just run with them. RUN RUN RUN!!! Ask when it is safe!! Run o🤣

11. Never leave Lagos without taking a ride on Third Mainland Bridge. It is a sin😅

12. Don't dance to any music you hear, never stare or laugh at people. Don't speak to anyone in the bus until they speak to you first.

13. Whenever you walk in a crowded area, hold your phone firmly in your hand, not in your bag or pocket or else Sope oti lo.

14. Whenever you want to ask for Directions, say this. "Sorry, Please, Excuse me...then ask your question". It is compulsory to say all of them. Don't omit any. Everybody is angry in Nigeria.😂

15. It's often said that the number of people who are mentally normal in Lagos aren't up to 5. In essence, If a Lagosian teases you, don't take him serious. Just be cool to prevent issues. We're mád in this Lagos!!. I am the only nórmal person in my area.

16. There's one popular "Den of scámmers" in Lagos called Computer Village. It is the most popular place for buying and repairing electronic devices. But please and please open your eyes very well before you buy fufu package in a phone case of buy a swapped electronics.😁

17. And lastly LAGOS is a comedy centre, you will love the drama you will be seeing around.

Lagos, Its mix of tradition and modernity, combined with its rich culture and entrepreneurial spirit, makes it an exciting and attractive destination for people from all over the world. Lagos is very very fun and sweet once you understand the system. It's not a bad place to be, it's just a place to be SMART and WISE!!
EKO ILE OGBON!

this is an abnormal way to live..

Fugazy2023:
Ecowas under the leadership of president Bola Ahmed Tinubu must ensure that we invade Niger republic and restore democracy. That rubbish coup must not be allowed to stand.
Bad things happen when good people refuse to act. We let it slide when Mali, Burkina faso and Guinea juntas took power illegally and this has emboldened Niger republic to do so. If nothing is done, the madness will continue to spread across the African continent because other country military coupist would be emboldened too and before we know it, Africa will be taken back to the dark days of military rule.
All this children of today on SM don't know what it means to have military ruling a country.
All this rubbish you are spitting on SM insulting PBAT would not be tolerated as most of you would have either be in jail or killed via firing squad.
Niger republic coup MUST end asap and the legitimate government elected by the people be brought back to power.
No going back..... If those coupist don't end the madness, many of them will be packed in body bags while others would be thrown in jail after facing the international criminal court.

PBAT must not back down no matter what.

see ogogoro talk. Even if the poor can not talk during military regime but they still have food to eat. Now they can talk with an empty stomach and they are still not listened to. Which one u think is better.

OneCandleAway:
Do you do ufc predictions

70%

jonapeters:
Like It or not Nigeria is one of the best country when t comes to freedom

the kind of freedom in Nigeria is only meant for animals. Where u can do anything or what so ever pleases u and nobody will talk.

As a small prophet I can categorically tell u guys that Nigeria will follow the pattern they followed during the group stage.
Draw win Draw.
I prophesied in the boxing match between Dontey wilder and tyson fury .. I said the match will be Draw and it happened the way I said. And u all know in boxing, Draw is nearly impossible but it happened.

fuckJones:
stop masturbating, asari Is bigger than you and your family

it is not about money but about moral value but unfortunately it seem majority of Nigerians has lost it, that is why we can Compare rich thief with an honorable poor man.

spinna:
Matured.. somewhat life fj cruiser

that was exact what I saw.

I tot they said he was going to Niger?.

Adedaniel123:
Mtcheeww. If you feel I'm telling lies for whatever reason you perceive it to be, why can't you come and see the car for yourself at least rather than cast debasing criticism on my car? Is it for the praise of the public or you feel you're right? Car wey no be your father drive am, you say I'm telling a lie because of the pictures being displayed here doesn't look like what it's said to be? Seriously, I find your criticism acrid and distasteful rather than for whatever good you think you're doing yourself! You won't die if you don't drive clients away, exert the energy elsewhere.

I'm not here to exchange words with u but I can categorically tell that car u said is less than a week registered had been driven not less than 3 years in Nigeria. I can educate you on how to identify tokunbo car just by looking at the pictures.

Onpoint1010:
I worked with two guys and 3 girls as their security chief in a fast food restaurant as contract staffs. The guys were something else but I managed them although we had back and forth arguments because they were trying to disobey my directives.

As time went by, the then manager told me about a vacant position, "Store Manager" and helped me to apply. Unfortunately, he was transferred before I was fully employed so, he handed me over to the new manager and assistant manager.

I was employed and was happy. Those two boys then began to conspired against me, they are psychologically smart and to an extend fearless and manipulative, I like them for that.

Just of recent, they began working against me with the manager, they stopped helping me to offload goods to the store and so, I decided to stop them from entering the store to charge their phones. But they boldly told me that I can't stop them and if I do, they will beat me. They have muscle more than I do. I knew they can beat me but I decided that I won't back down.

Yesterday, I stopped the now security chief from entering the store but the manager told me to allow them. This is the same manager that supported me initially to stop anyone I want from entering the store house and to lock it each time I want to go out.

Right now, I don't know what to do, I feel like the manager is trying to make me powerless in the office.

I want to know, does the manager have the right to ask the guards to keep entering the store room or I should continue to resist them?

Any store man or woman who has had similar experience, how did you overcome it.

first u are fighting a wrong course.
In ur place of work, power shouldn't be ur problem. Respect too should also be less of ur worries.
Being a manager does not mean people should Respect and fear u. You simply just have a role to play in the organisation which as well as the person you consider as the list person. u cannot do their job and ur own so everyone u see in an organisation should not be seen as less.
If u understand this, ur problem will be half solved.
Unloading goods is not the work of the security. I'm happy u used the word "Help" meaning u understand it is not their job. Secondly it is very possible that their supervisor is the one that had asked them to stop doing the loading and Unloading job.
Stopping them or taking permission from ur manager to stop them from charging their phone was just a childish idea you should have used that strength to tell ur manager to assign someone to help u with the load. That is if the loads are more than what u can carry.
Also look at it from another angle if those guys are not working with u and see them on the way will expect them to Respect you?.
I think you really need that beating.
Even Nigeria police no dey respect their oga let alone you, a nobody.

Adedaniel123:
Stop commenting dumbass opinions on my cars. If you think it's a lie, rather than say stupid debasing remarks, inspect and see for yourself ok? Ko gtfo

I'm only saying u should learn to be truthful in your dealings. Giving real information about ur products is very important, it will not kill you.
Assuming the car is even truly a week registered any normal buyer would not want to buy such car, because one week is too short for anyone to lose interest in a car he he just registered except he discovered a problem in the car he can not manage.

Dikastan:
Can it be converted to automatic?

it can but u will need to send it abroad for a good job.

Less than a week registered yet the plate number is rusty and fade. Give real information and u will still sell the car.

Rahkman:
Guy those girls dey play like men you sure say no be transgender dem go assemble so??

and them never give any team 10:0

Racoon:
Hehehe! Tinubu that did a democratic coup against his nation is talking of going to confront armed soldiers compatriots? Is that not utter foolishness?

Meanwhile, it seems Adamu Garba is no more loyal. He has forgotten that Niger Republic is Buhari’s home country and he is so useless as a retired major-general that he expects Tinubu to do the intervention for him?

very soon u go hear say some men who just retired from my country hand dey inside this coup. Just speaking unbehalf of Airdore1.

PrincessofDSS:
The poor has become an object of ridicule in this regime

what do expect while the same poor still supports them.

Racoon:
It was a negative for her given that she is a female. Future husband they observe with keen attention. Carry yourself with decorum sis.

I no understand this her top no better pass wetin girls dey wear up and down for street. Do also know if she is meant to advertise that product?.

This people det mad oh. Normally them for close all their borders and airway for atleast 1 month.

Changing from one work to another at old age while the youth sit and praise them without work or penny. What a I country I find myself.

What is wrong if Nigeria is only country selling cheap fuel in the world. Can't we enjoy a commodity that we have in abundance?.
We want compare ourselves negatively with other all the time.

kokoA:
Wetin dis one know sef? Mccheeww Where in the world do people receive 30k monthly as salary?

that is about 40 dollars a month. She also do not remember to say is only in Nigeria people with vehicle still buy fuel on a daily basis.

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

that girl is the hope of that family. They are training her for their self not for her interest.
Relax urself let them send her abroad if they can. And if u have a targeted time to marry and she is not available for the marriage, move on, life is not by force.

Oyindamolah:
From DM

don't ur company have an external auditor?. How comes he hasn't seen this?.
If u have a boss u work under report to him not the management.

Mitsurugi:
You're logically implying your father is an animal

the truth is that she is judging from her fathers act or probably she doesn't have a father and her mother has succeeded in planting hatred of her father in her.

Bestfits:
Overthinking and worrying

over thinking no dey solve problems before u add BP to the existing wahala.