₦airaland Forum

Charlesbro:
[size=14pt]How To Stop Cheating On Your Partner,
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Step 1: Think of the Consequences or Effects

What do you think the consequences will be when your girlfriend found out about your cheating behavior? Will you be easily forgiven? No one can stand their partner to cheat and I am sure you cannot stand your partner to cheat too.
It's really kind of depressing to look at the world and realize just how many people are cheating on their loved ones, but it's true. Infidelity is a huge problem in the dating world today, and indeed in marriages as well. It can seriously scar a loving relationship, and when it's the cause of a breakup getting over it can be very difficult.
There are several kinds of circumstances in which cheating happens, or "types" of cheating if you want to look at it that way. Each type of situation needs to be handled a little differently, even if they're all pretty much the same when it boils down to how it affects the relationship.
1) Your partner cheats on you and leaves you for the other person. A lot of the time, this really doesn't happen as often as the other types of cheating situations. Usually the person who's being cheated on is the one who does the leaving, as usually the person who's doing the cheating is perfectly happy to get it on both sides without having to give up one or the other. However, sometimes it DOES happen and can leave you feeling lost and hurt, because often the time you find out you're being cheated on is the same time you find out you're alone all of a sudden. These can be some of the most devastating types of breakups.
2) You're cheating on your partner, get found out, and get dumped flat on your backside. Honestly, it's what you deserve for shattering your partner's trust and hurting him or her so badly, but if it was just a silly mistake and it really means a lot to you to be with the one you cheated on, you'd be surprised at how forgiving your ex can be. I personally don't understand it, but a lot of people do take their cheating exes back, you just have to play your cards right.
These two kinds of relationships can indeed be salvaged, they may never be quite the same again, but often it is still possible to forgive each other and start fresh. However, there's another situation I hear about all too often in this line of work: when YOU are the "other woman."
This is a hard place to be, he tells you he's going to leave his wife but never does, and when she finds him out you find yourself alone again while he begs his wife to forgive him. It makes you feel silly and confused, and it's no fun, but if you find yourself with a married man or married woman, you have to expect this. Very rarely does one leave behind a generally happy family and home life for a completely new beginning, especially when it's just as easy to just keep taking advantage of both sides until you can't pull it off anymore.
The sad fact is: he's not going to leave her for you. He's happy where he is, getting "attention" from both you and his wife, the only thing that'll motivate him to stop seeing one of you is if his wife finds out, and 99 times out of 100, regardless of what he tells you is going to happen, that results in him going back to his wife and leaving you.
It's an ugly situation, but any time cheating comes into your life it gets really ugly really fast. The obvious solution is not to cheat, but sadly people still do. Whatever the case though, there's usually a way to bounce back from it no matter how much the situation has hurt you or the one you love. It's a delicate process, but you CAN do it.
Before you go on cheating your other half, it will be wise to take the following personal survey:
• The easier half of weighing the costs of cheating on your spouse is to weigh the pros. There is only one: you get to have sex with someone other than your spouse. Because this is the only factor on the positive side, think it over carefully.

• Consider the following: What is your desire for wanting to cheat? Why not talk to your lover about the problems that you have, and tell him or her what you need in the relationship?

• If you're unhappy, let your spouse know. It's better to be open than to explain later why you couldn't restrain yourself from fooling around in the first place.

• When your partner catches on [and he or she will], don't lie. Tell them what you have done. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship where they are not respected and then promise never to do it again after resolving what lead you to it in the first place and NEVER go back to it.

• Think about how this news could devastate your spouse. Think about everything that it could ruin.

• Ask yourself some simple questions: "Am I ready give up my spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend?" "Is one night really worth losing everything that I have and worked hard for?" "How will (spouse's name) feel about this, or feel about me?" "I only have one chance to make this relationship work, am I really planning on wasting it all on one night that will probably lead to nothing anyway?"

• By asking yourself these questions, and answering them truthfully, you may be surprised as to what you come up with.

• Ask yourself, how would you, yourself, feel, if your spouse would cheat instead? Nobody has the right for double standards.

Warnings
• Once everyone finds out about your cheating ways, you'll find that there are very few people on your side. Nobody will be able to trust you. They will always think of you as a cheater, and a liar.
• If you have something good, don't screw it up on something that can change your entire life for the worse.
• If you are unhappy in your relationship do not stay in it for fear of the breaking up process. Man up, break up, move on. You hurt yourself just as much as others if you stay in an unhappy cheating relationship.

I Hope you enjoyed Reading ? Tomorrow we will move over to Step 2, so stay connected!!

NB: I have written a book on this Topic "Can I Stop Cheating On My Other Half?" and i am giving away this special report FREE, Yes! 100% FREE. So email at relationshiphelpdesk@yahoo.com to get your free Copy!!



Your Facilitator

Charles Brown

Luvlee:
some men truly need sm1 to tlk to them cos smtimes they can be stupidly bullheaded

190:
[color=deeppink]Hmmm,

Good answer but so far so good friends are plying in certain relationships

which certainly isn't good! [/color]

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]My family and my partner will not meet until i am sure of him.

After the meeting, my family will now the basics: his name,
what he looks like, where he works/what he does, hopefully his intentions
and that we are together. Other than that my family is to be locked off
from our quarrels and personal issues unless i see it to be relevant to them.[/color]

iice:
[color=#9900ff]I don't know about involving them but i would tell them. My brothers and I are very tight (we have a different relationship with our parents, close but not as close as we are). There are times we move/operate as a collective unit. SILs are integrated into this unit, so basically we all know whats going on. Just that as a unit, we also share alot of similarities/traits. . .that means we tend to ignore people. So when my bro and his wife quarrels (they don't tell us but we know. . .we just ignore them because basically they can take care of themselves and their problems, even our parents keep out of it unless expressively asked to make a comment . Conclusively, even if i tell them, the reaction will be nonchalance unless it turns physical, then he will be buried I don't see any disadvantages because they will always be a part of my life. He can involve his family but if they are gonna be hounding my azz or all that long talks, i can't promise i won't act nonchalant [/color]

Luvlee:
smtimes you hv to because sm pple r different, there r sme couples who can sort it out themselves and sme jst can't, Understand what am saying cos i knw sm pple will keep sayin dnt involve family or friends bt in a case where d husband or wife is abusive @ d slightest quarel or if maybe 1 partner jst loves to keep malice(u knw there r pple like dis, they can do it for as long as mnths, yrs). I say dis from experience cos my sis husband neva listens until my mum tlks to him

Chaaaan:
Nahh! Not me. Can't involve a third party esp girls cos they could be big-mouthed at times. Can't even involve my best friend cos one day she will betray me.

robin707:
I dont mind taking advise from friends regarding my relationship, the only thing i consider before doing so is if this friend in whom i solicit advise from, is in a serious relationship, i dont think anyone who is not or has never been in a serious relationship, is in the best position to give me advise regarding my relationship.

Untentable:
How can i make sure dat d guy doesnt sleep there again? I have conveyed my feelings to her and she has assured me to work on it. But how can i be sure dat she wuld do the rite thing. I stil very much trust her and believe what she tells me. But dont see why she doesnt see it as being wrong havin a friend ((of d opposite sex) share d same bed wit her on 5 different occasions.

blacklion:
And you know this how?

You think every one is like you that lied for visa/green card/residency and your entire life is now a perpetual lie?

Some of us would rather die on our feet as Nigerians than live on our knees apologizing for being Nigerian.

MeGaStReEt:
NO, I do not agree with that