₦airaland Forum

tbaba1234: The earlier you meet with the guardian, the better.. even if you meet directly... Keep your intentions pure and follow the right channels.... There are no bf-gf relationships in Islam... you are either married or you are not...

Aisha was betrothed to the prophet while she lived in her father's house. three years later she was taken to his house. What do you call this period.

there is no clear text banning this thing(and am not talking gf-bf but people who genuinely want to be married but are not due to circumstances beyond their control). Agreed, many people go beyond bounds in the name of courtship but many others do it right. I just dont think we should term certain things haram just because they could go wrong.

So many people who cmapaign for the no-courtship thing find themselves eventually practicing it with the excuse that their parents would not allow them get married. They dont ever let the girl go. It isnt like they didnt know of that possibility.

olawalebabs: Forgive me my last post. I forgot am in islamic center. Anyway, still stand by it.

you should be Islamic both hear and there nah

tbaba1234: This is a bad advice not to mention an unislamic one... Sen[b]ding 'romantic' /'lovely' text messages is prohibited.[/b].. We are muslims, we do things the right way...

You can always go through the family route if you consider yourself shy..... Even if you aren't shy, you have to thread cautiously...

Allah commanded Adam(AS) and Hauwa not to go near the tree... Allah did not say,do not eat from the tree...

Coming near Haram always leads to haram... It always starts from we are 'just talking'...

Make sure your intentions are pure; The only way to guarantee this is to go through the guardian...

Assalam Aleikum

Eid Mubarak

wa alaekum salam. I would like to ask what constitutes as romantic and what's not. I think you'd have to make her head swell a bit to woo her. Is that also haram?

Now how do you talk to a muslimah?
very simple, infact this should be the most simplest thing(unfortunately, we have been brainwashed by the movies and books we read). as a brother, you must be sound islamically and academically...your communication skills are very important too...choose your language wisely o. The most important thing first is to ask if she is already engaged(make you no go dey waste saliva), we all know the hadith of leaving what your brother has already subscribed to. then the next is to [b]make your intention known [/b]the best way you can.
now see where brothers dey fall my hand o, you have seen a sister you like, before you make your move, make dua(Istikhara),that is why i don't subscribe to someone i am seeing for the first time, cos dua is very important in the matter of a muslim.

So many points there mashaAllah.

sino: i believe the person i wan to approach must be known to me for quite a while, we live in a society where we mix-up whether in school or within the community we live. so i must have found a specific characteristic aside from the Islam which might make me want to meet her and talk.
since it is not haram to meet her one-on-one(in an open area), me do not subsribe to the proxy thingy, use your own hear take hear the good or bad news. the fear of rejection that comes with doing that should not deter a shy person since your intention is pure.

ANy man who fears rejection isnt man enough.

sorry. I just think it is one of the things that come with living. the risks.

sino: "my brothers don yarn facts o, but some get k leg lol"
@bolded, well, shy guys do have issues though, sisters sometimes complicate the issues too...you see a brother go through proxy so as to make his intention known, the next thing, the sister feels he isn't man enough and mind you, some brothers are just being modest or didn't know better how to approach a lady.
personally, i find it very embarrassing to walk-up to a sister on the street and start talking or meet a sister in a bus and start talking for the first time.

being modest is good. being a little shy meeting someone for the first time isnt too bad either. My definition of shyness in this context is the erm errrm part,being lost for words and at some point tugging on to your shirt or clothing and or biting your fingers(never seen that though). You can tell a confident person who's only finding that early, first meeting part a lil difficult.

My fear is just the need to have a man who can rise to various challenges. I doubt that naturally shy people fall into that category.

mhsanni: In as much as am so excited abt d comn eid... wudnt be enjoyn myself as much as i want... Defending my thesis immediately after d eid break... finals follow immediately.. ..Apart frm goin to d eid ground, would be pretty much locked up in my room studyn

awwwww! all d best

Castos: yeah...... but some muslims have really derailed and tarnished the islamic image already and non muslims now regard all muslims like those ones. Now i know that there are blacksheep and saints in islam just as there are judas and saints in christians alike, but that of the muslims are so shouty.

you dont derail images.

apacheguy: yes, the scandanavians cannot sight the moon, just like ppl around the pole regions do have longer period of darkness and also sometimes up to 21 hours period of day light, so how do they calculate when its night or day, so they will have to get such info. from the regions most close to them...(Allahu A'lam) that's to the best of my understanding!(God knows best)

You are so right!! they get it from the closest region to them.

LagosShia's initial reply is superb. I see no reason to comment further.

where's d Op?

olawalebabs: Let me address the issue of shyness in guys. Some guys may find it difficult leaving their comfort zone, If a guy is shy, there are other ways to approach a lady, he can start by sending romantic and lovely text messages and talking on phone, with time he will overcome it.

If you never knew someone and he starts sending you romantic messages, you'd feel like, what the phone can be a good way to start but how would he have come about those numbers?

note- the wrongest thing to do on a first day is use the word LOVE.

am awaiting other suggestions. thanks for this Eid Mubarak in advance

busar: @deols,[b]i dont tink dere's anytin superstitious in wat i wrote [/b]or did u av anoda definition 4 'superstition'?

ok

@bxox and @snubish,

I doubt that I read your replies until now. very great contributions there.

a reminder

I love weddings, naming ceremonies, other celebrations, simply having fun. But, I love Eid! with a special tone to it.

you may check out- [url]https://www.nairaland.com/749383/eid-celebrations-nigeria#11841453
[/url]

there's just that eid feel I get and am getting right now. A lot has to be put in place to make eid special. Like having my aso odun(eid dress) ready. I hear many people say they have outgrown the Aso odun era, but I doubt I'll ever do.

I also have my plans for eid.
where to go,known
friends to be with, established
food to eat, on preparation mode


Just them personal stuffs like my hair do and what style of henna(tattoo) to go with left.

I have a feeling this Eid is gonna be wow! I hope it is same with you. What are the Eid specials you do? I might learn a thing or two to add to spice my eid from you!

so you are light and I am darkness even though we are both Muslims? What would you call a non Muslim then?

sino: Stop laughing jor, Nairaland islamic section is a good place o! Only that the sisters are not forthcoming...wondering why sha
Shy muslim brothers are being modest and are full of respect for the female kind, following the sunnah... Erm when it comes to nikkah tinz, i think they need to loose the shyness and "manup" lol.

this second part of your post takes me back to the reason I started this thread. Before then, there were so many other threads on relationship issues with guys and ladies alike asking questions. But those threads don't usually go before the first page. I decided I was going to bring out some of those issues, especially d ones Muslims feel shy to discuss, daring the consequences.

I was hoping we could get to actually talk about how exactly to approach other people and what could constitute as wrong and right. I dont think we specifically did that. I have heard girls say things like, oh God, why would he approach me like that? the first impression simply matters!! and a shy guy would just give d first impression of being a weakling...


So, how do you talk to a girl??

^^ superstition is wrong in Islam. stop saying that thing, it is irritating

and @tunji, I ddnt bother reading ur long note. Be a man for once and stop being a talkative.

LagosShia: i guess that question equally goes to deols.how do you know those magazines if you dont live in Iran?

well,who says Nigerians dont live in Iran?

these magazines are Islamic family magazines.they are distributed worldwide free of charge.i came across them through Shia brothers.then i correspond with the publishers to be sending me monthly.you do not need to live in the USA to have an "Awake" or "Watchtower" magazine of Jehovah's Witnesses.do you?

So u mean those magazines are still in circulation? I had a very early contact with shi'ism. I am not shiite though. I wish you are like me @LagosShia

olawalebabs: I want to believe this is just a 'mock' porter of the year award. I don't know who will win when it is time, but i know who will not win.

it is just for us to have fun jare. I'd like to write about what I think of the different personalities here.


would be back IA

sino: Stop laughing jor, Nairaland islamic section is a good place o! Only that the sisters are not forthcoming...wondering why sha
Shy muslim brothers are being modest and are full of respect for the female kind, following the sunnah... Erm when it comes to nikkah tinz, i think they need to loose the shyness and "manup" lol.

@ bold, ehyaaaaaaaaaaaa. hmmn!

On a serious note, I dont think there's anything wrong with finding your mate here but sha do all those things wizeman wrote up there and meet them face to face before falling o. make u no come enter one chance.. I remember a girl who was crazy about an online friend. hmmmn! after the holidays, we were expecting something! but mehn! the girl was speechless..lol

maclatunji: .

See voltron.

You can burst-out for all I care. You know that your validation is all I live for (NOT). You would be here to address me? Funny like crazy. Your desperate need to prove to yourself that I am a villian will stay with you for a long time to come at the rate you are going.

You are so predictable but the disappointing thing about you is that your "fight" is only available when you feel that you can hype yourself in the public glare. Tough ladies I know are tough. They are not into publicity stunts.

Excuse me Miss Independent, Miss Unafraid, Miss Uber-Muslimah. I am me, you don't like me, keep your dislike to yourself and let me know when you are done saving the women of the world. The question is: will they say "thank you" or move ahead with their lives whilst you continue to chase shadows?

My thoughts creep-you-out uhm? Have you ever stopped to acknowledge to yourself that you just [b]can't get thoughts of me out of your head [/b]despite your many protestations. I am not going anywhere O and you had better get used to me and whatever comes with me lest you get hypertension.

You like to blow hot? Pray you don't meet someone that bathes with boiling water. #Laughingnow.

@ bold(s), your mind playing tricks on you again? smh.

GOod enough you have learnt quiet well. But very much like you, you have decided to keep away from the points I was trying to make and like a good teacher, I will keep you reminded-

1. that you stop using the people around you as a judge of every feminine Individual out there and especially not in this Muslim section and more exclusively, on a thread I started. I specifically wrote at the beginning of this thread that it was going to be free from some of the stuffs on the romance section. while I browse through the romance section once in a while, the slogan, Nigerian girls, gold diggers, etc never bothered me cos Nigerian girls, in that context were aliens I never knew.

2. that you think well before replying others(you'd need more work on this though)..You seem to fail to realise that you are the one who gave a sorry note after speaking out 'your mind'. that you are also the one who's crying foul and trying to claim relevance. If I wanted anyone to think good of me, considering wanting some publicity, dont you think I'd be going up and down posting smiley emoticons and pretending to be joking while speaking my mind? I would also want to act pretty nice considering the number of bachelors out here searching. You have failed to think and maybe it would help to stop thinking too much of yourself..
[size=4pt]
now save me your sorry sobs..Its Eid already[/size]

Wizeboy: Please, dont lets make this issue personal, though he may be wrong in making such assumption (but some of us just take it as a joke) and he has also disclaim his comment... Lets forget the issue and take it as a mistake on his pact (which nobody is above).

On his role in the forum generally, though I have not been following his comment as much but I used to find his comment in Politics very interesting and balanced. People normally attack him there just because they know he is Islam Section Mod which by this as offended some of them by hiding their post here (they are just transfering the aggression on him in other section). I believe been a Mod does not cease his right to make his opinion know if those people are not religious bigot.

Once again, please take his comment as a joke (or rather a mistake) and forget it by not asking him about the money issue he jokingly mention earlier.

We are brothers and sisters and we should try to tolerate our mistake and misdeed. Thanks for your understanding.

Maa Salam

thanks wize

Kobojunkie: Are you freaking kidding me? Reasoning in line of what? um . . what is different from what I am saying now and what I have been saying for the last, I don't know, 14 pages?

Now you'd agree you need to cool down before giving responses. Your tone on the shyt thing is definitely different from the last replies you'v given It shows some level of reasoning.

Are you sure you have been awake to this discussion from the begining even? Cause I getting the feeling that the way some of you here know to argue is you jump into discussions without taking time to ensure you even have a side in what is going on, post any thing that pops into your heads, and then after a couple of pages, pretend you had a relapse and accuse the other party of changing their stance.
https://png-5.findicons.com/files//icons/1039/manto/128/puzzled.png

that you do that doesnt mean every other person does. that you didnt understand what I was talking about is the reason you think I changed my stance

let me remind you of what's been going


I called some things Nigerian and you say they are not.The onus is on you to prove that but you didnt. Buttressing my points, I gave you examples like giving things only with your right hand as a show of respect. something you wouldnt see at every other place in the world. If you are not having a problem with comprehension, I think this is just enough and we can then tackle the other difficulties you might be having.

Kobojunkie: um . . . dude, keep your religious issues/low self esteem at the door. What has your idea of islam being a male dominated religion to do with what I said there? What had male dominated to do my response there?

If you are drunk, don't post at all.

You sound very confused. Do you assume you need to spell it all out before anyone understands what you'r inferring? You obviously aren't as intelligent as I used to think.

Kobojunkie: Well, be that as it may, it is a lie that the right/left hand option has anything to do with Nigeria. It is a religious belief and not even a religious value.



It is not a value, it is just a choice, and a choice not really based on common sense but their level of understanding per say. A value is something that contributes positives or negatives to society. . . .wiping with left/right adds or removes nothing to the individual doing it or the society as a whole. It is like picking your teeth after eating with a tooth pick. Some people do it, and others think it is gross.

That is no point. Again, when you say something is Nigeria-specific, you need to be able to show that people in Nigeria do it more than people elsewhere. So far, it seems that is not the case for any of the suggestions you came up with. So you will need to try another list.

but at least you are now reasoning in line and an argument can then ensue on what constitutes a value and what doesnt.

Kobojunkie: OH!! Jesus have mercy . . . so you people do have common sense? You are able to at least see and know that many of these things don't work as you propose they do, at the end of the day, and only tend to product one-dimensional adults who go on to live miserable lives if unable to CORRECT the problem?

Why continue a culture that has that high of risk(about 50%) of making puppets of females, especially in a world as cruel as this one?

You need to give yourself a break. Dont assume you know what others are thinking or whom they are by a few words they say.

What do you mean by you people. Do you know beyond my username? it would make a lot of sense when you do more of tackling the issue than looking out to insult other people's persona. Being so bitter helps in no way

Kobojunkie: Dude, you lied!!! Someone already came to clear that up. Using left hand to clean butt is NOT A NIGERIAN VALUE

a) It contributes absolutely nothing to a person's morality, ideologies etc, hence not a valid value

b) You stole that from a religion and never mentioned that part.

there's absolutely no reason for me to lie. it was just one of the things I knew while growing up. there was no religious undertone to it.

You eat with your right and wash up after using the toilet with your left.that just was it.

Would telling you some christians around me share the same value help??


Anyways, my point remains, that those things are done elsewhere doesnt make them less Nigerian and so many other values(whether you agree to their being right or wrong) are not seen everywhere in the world

kobojunkii: What? I have been around real muslims here in America and none of them as far as I know use their left hand to clean shyt from their a/s/sh/o/l/e. I have had many of them as roomamtes and I have dated many real muslim girls from muslim countries and they dont do that nonsense.

This deols girl must be a dirty swine, like most of her cohorts in Nigeria. You cant excuse her dirtiness on the basis of religion.

there must be more to this. Care to share?? your over bloated ego can get you nowhere. btw, I have no reason to make you think better than you do of me.


I assume your life is NOW better than it was before you came on this thread..

kandiikane: I don't understand your point.
Are you saying it's wrong to use your hands altogether or wrong to use your left hand?


We are advised to use our right hand for eating and we should not use our right hand to clean up.

Muslims MUST use water after doing number 2.
You use tissue, wipe and then use water.

When you use water, you have to use your left hand to clean up.


Same as after peeing(women).

and even when you use tissue

kobojunkii: WHy are you so backward?

First of all, WTF is loo?

Second, you use your left hand to clean shyt from your a/s/s? Who does that?


Third, who are you? You bend to greet your elders? I am a civilized, unshackled, Yoruba tokan tokan and I have never bent to greet my elders.


Fourth, Are you phocking trolling?

the problem with people like you is you failure to reason before talking. You might want to help provide the manufacturing company of the robot you use.

One of the things to learn as a yoruba tokan tokan would be to be less vulgar when speaking with others. Did you ever learn that?