₦airaland Forum

serverconnect:
Ooh many job will be lost and investment close down after this pandemic.

When over 30 million Americans are jobless. How much more Nigeria?

It will be a very long rough ride.
Many jobs will be lost
Most especially private sector jobs

princessConfy:
thanks to all that advised me. we are not engaged yet I'll just be observing but will put on hold any marriage plans.
Thanks
UyaiIncomparabl
dominique
eniolorunfe
djon78
Graxie
crackkhaus

Better do.
He has already showed the signs
So you don't cry like op in the future when the deed has been done.

spartan117:
Of course not.

There is great power in submission. When a man knows that you respect and submit to him, he will love you and be willing to do anything for you. Learn from Queen Esther of the Bible, she was a virtuous woman.

We have to be balanced when we throw around this word of submission.

The woman should submit but what did the Bible tell the man: husband love your wife!!! How? As Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

Men even have the tougher task, to love there wives to the extent of dieing for her.

Also note it was the man the Bible commanded to love. The woman was never given that injuction

Definitely of love? 1 Corinthians 13 vs 4 gave the characteristics of love which are:

Love is patient, kind, it's not boastful, it's not proud. It's not rude, it's not selfish etc

Which woman will you shower with all those qualities that will not worship and adore you.


Most of you quote bible to soot your own narrative. You won't love a woman as the Bible commanded you to. But you will want her to submit to you.
That's very very very selfish.

princessConfy:
seeing this post frightens me more. my relationship of 5 months is giving me headache. he said he can't give me money except I ask. I've tried to explain to him that I'm not good in asking and I don't ask because he said his ex gf used to be too demanding. now I don't know if I ask small he may think I'm pretending if I ask big he may think I'm too demanding. He will ask me to visit and when I want to leave he'll wait till we are almost at the junction before he will ask if I have T.p. anytime we have an argument he will threatened our relationship...
I don tire... cos I don't know if I should continue or quit.. relationship wahala

Sister that dude is very stingy.
He has no value for you.
A man that truly values you can't wait till you are at the bus stop to give you money.
He will do worse when you get married.

A close relation of mine married a stingy dude like that. She was working a high paying job and supporting the family with her money. But the guy will withhold most of his own because he had a wife earning a very good income.

But when Casala burst, my relation said she was tired of the whole thing.
It took our family intervening and telling her no, we don't support divorce.
Guyman saw pepper that time.
Because she was ready to walk away.
Dude sat up. Now gives her percentage when he makes deals just to appease her. Completely changed because be was about to loose a good woman.
It was really funny. No be person tell am to sit up.

COdeGenesis:
Sex is the only thing you xan give. There is more to a relationship than just sex aunty. There is no marriage without issue. You got to understand your partner and come to a compromise to sail the boat together.

And the woman in question was she not giving her best. And still not appreciated.
Honestly some guys no dey try at all.

Thank God all my sisters are married and to sensible men who provides very well and appreciates what there wives bring to the table.

It's funny that it's broke men that are meant to be humble and appreciative of a very supporting wives are the one causing problems. So leave the women alone. Make they get sense well.

faithfull18:
You are right, it swings both ways.

Sure you are right, it swings both ways. That's why people should look well before they leap.
Know your personality and the kind of things you can tolerate. Be very watchful and you will avoid them.

Marriage is more than tingly butterflies feeling in the stomach. It's serious business.

faithfull18:
Yinmu, they are always good until you are in it.

No they fake being good.
A good person will always promote a good home environment.
They were never good.
But deceive unsuspecting women who fall for there trick.

veave:
Hian.

Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.

Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join.

I support this. Save some percentage of your money, no matter what.
Many lazy men depend so much on there wives money.
They don't up there money making hustling skill. And still they will not appreciate that woman who is supporting them. They rather make life unbearable for them.

Another thing for men working, they should just not rely on there job alone. I always tell my pals this. Have a side hustle, a business or investment. Just have something. Look at the present situation in the nation, many companies will lay off there workers. Those depending on that alone I sorry for them.

Men should not be lazy. Go out there and hustle and always appreciate your wives.

Ezewuzie01:
Once again, Obiano is showing why he is the best governor in the history of Anambra state.

You sycophants should go and sit down.
Obiano has tried, but calling him the best is not true. Some folks even believebthat he didn't do well.

Peter Obi and Chris Ngige goes before him.
Willie's problem is just pride.
When he started fighting with Peter Obi. A man that made him whatever he is today.
Gave him a job in his bank even to the level of executive director.
Upon that gave him the governors seat on a platter of gold.

Then he felt the best he could do is to fight him. He will definitely reap what he sowed.

Karma always pays back.
The person that will take over from obiano is coming.

Sirvingeo:
After you experience it kindly come to me to preach forgiveness. You think it is easy bah .

And you think I have not been wronged terribly by a close relation?
I held grudges and bitterness that nearly cost me a lot.
When I forgave from my heart, it brought freedom and unimaginable progress I couldn't fathom.

See irrespective of whatever someones parents does. Whatever it may be.
Not forgiving that person is very dangerous. It's a natural law on this earth.
The parents that brought you into this world,the gateway through which you entered this plane of existence has a precedence over you. Nurtured you as a baby and didn't terminate your life.


The person that hurt you will still receive there payment. But forgiveness is a must.

Sirvingeo:
His children are even living with us now because of the stupidity of their father. This is someone that retired as a manager in central bank . He couldn't even sponsor his own children in school but he is sponsoring his girlfriend's brothers education abroad. He beats his wife(my aunt) but she has been baring this act for over 20 years . Like I said it was recently we delivered our aunt. My dear with my experience such people should never be forgiven . Anyway his children are cooking up plan to suffer him in his old age. I know the op's children have already kicked up plan to suffer him . I will definitely subscribe to it. Useless man !!!

Irrespective of what these men did. Children holding grudges and unforgiveness against them, always sets up a pattern.

Irrespective of whatever is done. Forgiveness is still the key.
Joyce Meyer the American preacher was sexually abused by her father for years as a child. It affected her growing up

But when she was grown she had no option but forgave him. She even bought a house for him way before he died.

Holding grudges against a parent for a justified wrong has its own reward.
In spite of whatever done, forgiveness must be given.

If Joseph didn't forgive his brothers that sold him as a slave to Egypt. There was no way he would have achieved his success.
Not offering forgiveness stops people from reaching and attaining greater heights in life. It brings serious limitations and setbacks.

EmmySparky:
If this story is real then you can't escape your punishment...u are pure evil...people like you don't deserve good wives...such a disgrace

But the irony of life is that these kind of men most times are married to good wives. While the good men most times end up with bad wives.
I have seen this scenario play out times without number.

Biglittlelois:
Mister, don't bother begging cos you've lost her forever, for her to still stay with you all these years with no reaction to your stupidity, means you are dead to her, her heart is stone cold, can't be melted or broken,

If you still insist on begging and she becomes all nice and mushy, note that she's planning on revenge, slowly or speedily, temporary or permanently, it can be in any form, sooner or later, so my advice, beware of her and be careful of her,

Speaking from a personal, heartbreaking experience.

Not always true. Most times these bad horrible men are married to exceptionally good women, which is very mysterious.

Upon all he did to her, she didn't leave. The man has a chance of getting back to his wife but if he genuinely repents.
Where he may have problem is the children. Some of them don't forgive, unless there mother compels them to.


These evil men sometimes can be very lucky.

Mstick:
Lol! My dear I don't know if OP's story is true but this isn't abnormal in Nigerian marriages. I know one with 9 kids! The husband comes and goes anytime he wants even till today. There was a time she lost so much weight everyone thought she would die, my MIL and I went extra mile for her and at the end of it all the man came back and she took him in again, now with all this coronavirus pandemic oga ran away again.

He doesn't even care how his wife and his kids will feed. I am sure very soon when he's old and grey he will start looking for forgiveness and respect.

Actually some of this women do forgive.
I know two of my dads acquintanceas. One the husband was a big wealthy doctor, abandoned his wife and children, for one strange woman.

The woman trained her children they graduated and became established in life. After the strange woman have sucked the doctor dry, she abandoned him, in fact he suffered stroke.
That same wife he abandoned for over 15 years took him back and nursed the man till he died.
The children were mad, but the woman said its her husband, that it's her duty.
I wept the day my mum was telling me about her.


Another one same scenario, very rich man, abandoned his wife and children for a strange woman for over 10 years who was very diabolical. She was selling off the man's properties. The sons of the man now grown stopped her from selling of everything. By the time the man eyes cleared, he came back, wife accepted him. But it wasn't long he died.
Today the woman is enjoying her children most live overseas.

Strange women don't mercy for these men, they are Always very diabolical and will sock the men dry. Most of time the men pay with there life.

ayusco85:
Thanks man. We need to speak a lot of truths.

They have thrown away the morality instilled in them from home for frivolous lifestyle they learnt from the whites who have no culture nor tradition nor Shame.. trying to belong.
Being a good girl is now old fashioned.

Being a Virgin is now a thing to be ashamed of.

They don't know that the high rate of divorce and infidelity arose from such livestyle we have suddenly embraced, where sex is no longer sacred but something anyone can have.

Forgetting that their parents married as virgins.
Morality is in comatose in Nigeria and Africa

One was calling the op a caveman. That there is nothing wrong with cohabitation.
I just smh.
They have thrown morality to the dogs and this same people want faithfulness when they get married.

How can you give what you don't have.
How can one sow thorns and expect to reap flowers? It's not possible.

Moral decadence has swept across our clime. People live anyhow and will want to still eat there cake and have it.
And there is no iota of remorse.
Perverted generation.

divineappo:
Any guy who is having a second thought about his girl because he discovered she lived a couples life with a guy in school years back, the guy is not only silly but also an idiot

For goodness sake, the past is in the past

The only reason I can end such relationship is, if the girl is still emotionally attached to her ex. I can't be banging my legally married wife and in the middle of it all, she is having an image of another guy in her mind

And most of the time, those chicks don't forget about those there past guys. Even when married.

It's more about carrying unnecessary baggage. That's why most very bad guys end up with better women, even virgins or babes with low mileage in there down below. Because they from experience know that it matters very well.
Na mugus and simps fall for otherwise

sterlingD:
The thing is how to understand the hidden secrets

I have given you a clue you can research more on sexual energy using Google. You will discover it for yourself.

sterlingD:
Can you explain the above in Bold?.lt got my attention

Sex is energy or power.
Most wealthy, rich and successful men are highly libido and highly sexed
Men there wife understand this scenario fuels, utilises and channels this energy aright by engaging there husbands sexualy appropriately.

Napoleon Bonaparte the great conqueror of Europe was said to be highly libido man, who had a wonderful intimate relationship with his wife. Historians linked the peak of his reign to his intimate relationship with his wife, and his failure when the relationship went sour.

Many great men throughout history were highly sexed Men. Most of the richest men are highly sexed Men. Donald Trump was a highly sexed man. He had reputation way back before he became the President of United States. Had three marriages and many affairs. It's well known.

LilMissFavvy:
Excuse me, same old shittt .......''' the way I talk'', spare me. Carry your stupiddd advice to the dogs, I don't need em. When you see people give their opinion, what stops you from minding your business, or if you must quote, you quote without insult? Your mentions are senseless and boring.

Better go and change your ways.
Little chat here shows how uncouth your attitude is. Using gutter language and insults is not the kind of things you expect from a real true lady.

LilMissFavvy:
Yes I stated clearly that one woman is enough for a man, perfectly, that's why today's men go for monogamous homes. I also explained to you that it's the African society that encourages men to cheat, otherwise, every man can develop self descipline. Your type are the ones discouraging faithful men, you want everyone one to toe the shameful path you chose. Even if you mention me from now till eternity, I would still not buy your ideas, they are complete nonscence.

Me and you who is discouraging faithful men? With the way you talk on this issue can you even maintain a faithful man.
A woman that doesn't even know how to talk. You maintain a faithful man with a befitting character. Character is the beauty of a woman, not one that talks anyhow.

LilMissFavvy:
The men sleeping around do so cuz your society permits them, their wives do not have a say......(some wives). I spoke my mind and you got absolutely no business to call me out. As for your stupiddd advice, keep it for your sisters, thank you. Your kinds are the type that preach and encourage cheating, it does not occur to you that everyone, male and female can actually develop self Descipline.

No you were claiming monogamy being the practice, I just showed you that many of them are just camouflage.

As for encouraging cheating. I can tell you that a woman that sounds the way you sound can't even value or encourage a faithful man because of your utterances.

And yes, there are faithful men out there but uncouth fellows that talks anyhow like you can't even maintain a faithful man because you don't even know what's it worth. You can't carry treasures and give to those who don't know it's value.

LilMissFavvy:
I keep seeing bloodline, you believe in a very senseless superstition, but I don't believe in superstition. Men of today know that one wife is okay for a man, that's why they accept monogamy. They know that our forefathers fathered battalion kids, weighing their wives down with birthing/ family resources diminishing cuz of many mouths to feed. Those are the reason men now chose monogamy. Most of the rubbish superstition you are talking about are men who use drugs, they even die daily cuz of such drugs, it's not natural sex so spare me all these talks. However I had mentioned earlier that we still have people with the nymphomaniaccc syndrome. They need medical help, should marry their equals or be patient with their partners.

I will keep on mentioning bloodline.
We inherited from our forbearers a lot.

Many men claim monogamist but they sleep around even more than those practicing polygamy. And when I say many I mean very many. Some hide to do it while others don't even care.

The exception are those who have disciplined themselves and that doesn't come easy. It requires a lot of work.
And women are meant to be appreciative of them.
Why I picked at you, was the manner of your response. Your kind of person with the way you talk will even drive a self controlled man to start doing otherwise.
Wise Women that are married to those kind of men appreciate there men.
But a woman that talks like you can't even afford such luxury.
Better be guided by your utterances and manner of speech, or it will be your undoing.

kalufelix:
One even said it has to be twice a week like its some scheduled Uefa champions league match ... Wetin stop man from having a quickee with ein wife for kitchen or before leaving for work.. If its not done in a selfish manner

It's just that most times its there being selfish. Many even bargain with sex.
Women that understands there husbands sexual needs knows the best way to handle the issue.

As for men with very high libido, its on another level.

kalufelix:
You'd be surprised many married men go through torture just to have sex with their legally wedded wives... Some hide it while others resort to cheating... Monogamy remains the biggest scam/evil of modern Christianity targeted at the seed Carriers to subdue them and checkmate population growth...

That was what I was trying to let that lady that was running her mouth know.
Many married men go through a lot as regards that, even pastors. Which man doesn't like sex. Sometimes these women are very selfish.


I remember I read one research that highly sexed libido men who there wives understand the power become very rich and wealthy. That extremely rich men are highly libido men. Sex radiates energy that can be turned to money by couples that understands this hidden secret.

LilMissFavvy:
Not true. Our fore fathers did not marry many wives because one woman is not enough for them, rather they married many wives because ''plenty wives'' was seen as an achievement and prestige, likewise plenty kids. The mere fact that women of old gave birth to battalion kids, means they were always pregnant, nursing kids, nursing birth wounds, too busy, unhealthy, etc. One healthy woman is naturally enough for one healthy normal man. Or have we not heard how young wives in polygamous marriages go out because of their husbands inadequacies?

We all saw very sensible advice some people gave here, some suggested mouth action, pre-intimacy, etc, to keep the man okay. There is nothing like ''its in the bloodline'', it's mere superstition.

It's in the blood line is not any mere superstition. The reason many men can't stay with one woman is simply as a result of what they got from there progenators.
Almost all our forefathers were polygamists and it had nothing to do with achievement. Men married more than one wives.

We have uncountable cases of men unsatisfied with one woman. These things run in the blood line. Just like thievery, prostitution and many vices all are blood line problems.

It's just that some men use self control to hold themselves from misbehaving. The battle that men go through to control themselves is not easy one.
That's why I get angry when a woman who doesn't know what it means to be in a man's body will just open there mouth and be talking nonsense.

LilMissFavvy:
Only a numbskulll would say that sex on a daily basis is a normal thing. I have read severally in write-ups from experts that 2-3, times sex in a week is is normal for healthy married people. it's a pity when a lady does the right thing by abstaining till marriage, then ends up with these kinds of issues. Anyman who has sex everyday has a serious issue and should seek medical help. I don't know why any male should say that a woman cannot experience pain due to daily sex, who told you, are you a woman to speak? The word nymphomaniac still exists in the dictionary, the OP should seek counselling and be hopeful for the lockdown to end so that her husband can get busy again, and life goes back to normal.

People are different.
So they shouldn't be called numbskull
This was why our forefathers married more than one women. Because one woman was not enough for them.

So maybe it's in his blood line.
Just that modernity especially as practiced by southern Nigeria has clouded many things.

There are men with very high libido naturally.

kikero:
Ok...here is some stats from New York...

6839 people died in New York by April 14

137 had no underlying conditions.

A minority, but proof that 'healthy people die'.

Most of these people are ignorant of what we are facing.
They think it's child's play.

kikero:
People have died of covid19 without 'underlying illnesses.'...while some with underlying illnesses, or who are old (and some are very old) have survived.

Very very very true.
That's what they don't understand.
They don't know that a lot of highly vulnerable people survived the virus while people with no issues died.

They have not been following this epidemic.

Expensiverichyb:
You're right. The worries aspect is as a result of bad stories everywhere. Making it look like there's a monster inside that you only get to discover once you're in.
Take nairaland for example, the family and romance sections, you can never come across lovely, romantic stories. Rather horrible things people do to themselves in marriage, relationship and life in general.

It's alright. Someone have advised above about being mindful of what we read online anyway.

Negative news creates bind mindset, worries and bad mindset creates bad outcome.
Focus on the positive things.
Whatever you believe or entertain in your mind comes to you...

So instead of worrying, focus on how to be the best of you and naturally, you will attract who you are...
Nothing melts a human heart like good nature. No matter how evil that heart is.
The only option to an evil heart that doesn't change is karma, payback, retribution. As long as we are under the sun. I have seen it countless times.

You see an evil man married to a good woman and he doesn't change. Karma always strikes and most times the individual dies. Likewise a good man married to an evil woman. If the woman doesn't change, karma hits and the end is always fatal.
The worst thing that can happen to any evil spouse to repay a good spouse married to them with evil..it doesn't always end well at all.

So just be the best of you
And leave the rest to God.

Expensiverichyb:
Lucky you both

I don't believe people should be worried
about marriage. Rather people should focus on being the best of themselves
Having fulfilment. Getting the best out of themselves.

Marriage should just be an addition.
Worrying yourself is waste
Just be your best self
Marriage will just be jara

That way you won't break your head from eventual outcome.

Kenturkey048:
why is it that no one is paying attention to the insensitivity of the wife....?

Living with an insensitive person Is worst than living in hell...I have a first hand experience of what the op is saying because sometimes I just feel like parking my bags and going to a place where I can have peace of mind.....

Two wrongs don't make right
In my response I said that sure the woman has her own issues
But weighing things on the scale according to what he told us
He has a lot of issues
And he doesn't even agree to that

So wisdom demands that he work on himself first
If he gets his acts right
He can then be ready to face his woman's issues
But if he refuses
Divorce and separation will be on the cards
And honestly divorce won't favor this guy

I can bet with all my money
That this guy can never get a woman
To tolerate half of what his wife has been tolerating from him
If he wants flings he can get that
But for long-term relationship
No woman will tolerate those
He is lucky
Some mean women can even
Find ways to terminate his life
If he gives them too much problem

So better he works on his marriage
With a woman that tolerates his crap
And still agrees to live under same roof with him
His wife still loves him
It's a woman that loves a man
That will be checking his phone
Even calling those women to warn them
A woman that doesn't love him
Will just leave him to his ways without
Bordering or giving any damn

M

IdiAminDada:
The last money i made in 7 figures, one of those "unserious" people gave me the job.

The bread my children will eat tomorrow morning, another one of those "unserious" people bought it and brought it home for me. He bought the fuel in my car a week ago and paid my TV subscription.

I should cut off from all of them, right?

What should I changed now, I should change the fact that I cheated last year?

Bro look at it this way.
Use wisdom to solve this
The most important priority is your home
They may be helping you
Just be wise about it.

Cut off those irrelevant chats with women
Even interaction and all those flirting with them
It draws suspicion

See the solution is out there
Your madam loves you honestly
The change in your relationship with your wife
Lies in your hands
Of course She do have her own problem
But the change starts from you
Do your own part where you are wrong
And you will be surprised she will change
Like hanging out late
Try and stop it
Even if you must hang out with your friends
Don't stay till late
It's true no job is frustrating
But be the change

In fact let me tell you
These issues in your home
Is the reason of your joblessness
It breeds very bad omen
In addition to an unhappy wife
Very very very bad omen

That your woman is happy with you
Will bring you good fortunes

One of my acquaintances
Was like that
Hanging around guys that drink and womanize and he was married
Jobless but gets small runs
Once he makes small change
Boozing and other stuff with those his crew
The wife working good job told hin
One-day that God was making her the bread winner of the family because of his irresponsibilury
The guy saw it was true
And decided to change and become responsibile
Peace came back to his home
And his finances like magic turned around
He and wife are best friends now
And he cut of the irrelevant friends

See bro these things acts like magic
Honestly that woman loves you
If not she will just live you to your ways
Just find a way to change
And you will be surprised how your home will turn