₦airaland Forum

YorubaKinging:
What's two time fiance ?

They were engaged twice.

DP

maasoap:
May be he needs to become househusband too and stop going to work?

FYI I am listing all the things the wife has to do plus her just being 3 months post CS, highlighting why the wife might be different. Also, you don’t have to be a house husband to help in raising your child.

Olofin2:
I don't keep friends. So I'm always at home. Our baby understands me more than anyone because if she's crying and refuses to be soothed by her mother, she would stop crying once her mother angrily dumps her on me. It's only breastfeeding that our baby can't get from me. I know so much about medical things and wife would consult me first before applying anything on the baby. Financially, it can be said that I'm the one working for the salary she's receiving monthly (you can't understand this aspect) and we only spend my own salary.

So, does she wants me to get intimacy from somewhere else?

.

She is nursing a three month old and a CS scar, so obviously she’s had big changes. Sometimes the way to a woman is not just by words but by actions, if you offer to take care of the baby for just a day or even give her the weekend off it will make a difference. You come across as selfish in your post, I wonder if your wife thinks so too.

Olofin2:
I don't keep friends. So I'm always at home. Our baby understands me more than anyone because if she's crying and refuses to be soothed by her mother, she would stop crying once her mother angrily dumps her on me. It's only breastfeeding that our baby can't get from me. I know so much about medical things and wife would consult me first before applying anything on the baby. Financially, it can be said that I'm the one working for the salary she's receiving monthly (you can't understand this aspect) and we only spend my own salary.

So, does she wants me to get intimacy from somewhere else?

It’s great that you’re bonding with your baby but do you also bath the baby? Feed? change the diaper? Are you awake at 2.00am to feed the baby? Do you get to sleep for only 3 hours a day? Have your hormones being put through the ringer for a year?

If she’s a first time mother then you’ve to be patient she had a CS and your child is just 3 months. Also, you need to stop looking at your marital sex from a perspective of its only your right to enjoy. Sex should be enjoyed by both of you and if there’s a problem why one of you isn’t then it’s your problem too.

If your wife’s happiness is your priority and not just your libido then give her a day, a weekend off, or however long her CS scar will heal. Tell her to take time off to take care of herself, let her take a break and she will come back to you fully recharged.

Ideally, you shouldn’t even be thinking about sex, she had a CS just three months ago!!!

SweetDipBenny:
Quick question, how can one rape a prostitute

By having sex with her without her consent.

Ykc2:
I hope is not true ooh ,this are things to avoid when your in white's man country number 1 dont ve sex with a girl without her consent, 2 dont even touch under age girl,3 dont beat a girl ,respect women ,dont touch elderly people,white people will distroy you if you dont avoid all this I mentioned, I pity the guy ooh he want to rape a girl he went to eastern europe?that side of europe their mentality is not the same as western Europe ooh

Only white man country? Why can’t these be the rules for Nigerian girls?

LordKO:
You and I know that your enraged submission is from the place of pains. I know your alternative monikers . . . So, I understand better. Lol.

Okayyy, do you have any title referral for the OP? I think it’s unfair to hog someone’s thread, if you can’t help. Some people genuinely have issues communicating and I commend the OP for reaching out.

LordKO:
It's obvious that you, just like many others, have an erroneous understanding of what communication in a relationship is all about. It isn't about needles and endless verbal correspondence or being an orator.

Communication in a relationship in its literal, not notional, meaning is about partners being in sync - meeting each others need, basically/fundamentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and verbally, is what means to be in sync. And this by extension automatically means that both of you must be of the same ethical leanings before you can achieve effective mutual communication.

You’re derailing the thread. The OP asked a specific question, if you don’t have an answer for his question then you move along. Good for you that you have everything all figured out, some people need help.

OP, I haven’t read any, but if you google “books on communication in relationships” you will see a plethora of titles and reviews. All the best in your relationship.

Very sad, it’s people like him that ruin it for those that are really in need.

Rawhumper:
Same here....

Thanks.

pocohantas:
Pheeew! Good to know you are good. You know tou could have just gone off and we wouldn’t even know what happened. Welcome back and hope you are very well now?

ibkayee:
Damn

I'm so sorry about what you went through, thank goodness for your recovery. How are you mentally now?

I wish the people around me would take this thing more seriously

AmazonTopaz:
Oh my.

Glad you are okay dear.Thank goodness that you are better please stay safe.

loveymom:
The Coronovirus symptoms are scary

opella:
Thank God for your life dear. So glad you are okay now

cococandy:
I’m so glad you’re alright. Like super glad.
We do indeed take health and life for granted. Welcome back

Thank you ladies, this truly warms my heart and I appreciate it.

I’ve been at home for weeks now and I am fine. Mentally, I am paranoid of a reinfection even though it’s probably unlikely. I literally have a small blister on my hand because I wash my hands multiple times a day under very hot water. I wear face mask indoors and I am thinking of a career change.

It’s also sad to see some people not take this seriously because 90% of casualties have been people with an underlying illness, hundreds of thousands of deaths have been recorded worldwide, you would think that will be enough for some to take rona seriously.

I appreciate all the essential workers that are on the front line, they don’t get enough thanks.

Please stay safe everybody

You need to report him, he raped a child.

Okeytus:
but they share almost same similarities in terms of relationship.
relate them and get your answer because even if I answer you directly, my personality may come to play , that I don't share same with your husband.

I don't expect you to concede that he had laid a hand on you.

The only similarity is their mutual love for me. Yea, my father never touched us, he had other means of discipline and punishment that were effective.

loveymom:
Thank God for your recovery

Thank you!! I don’t wish my worst enemy what I went through.

cococandy:


OMG! I had not the slightest idea. I’m ecstatic that you’re here. Babe !

Chile!! I think I got it from my job ( flying back from Ventimiglia, Italy). I got to Jersey and in about a week something didn’t feel right. I have never had the common flu before but I had fever and felt lethargic, right of the bat I knew something wasn’t right. Then, I had difficulty breathing, my inhaler didn’t help, I thought I was going to die.

I was transported to the ER. I was on a ventilator for two days. This was in first week of March, one of the first waves in Jersey. Sis, my outlook to life has changed, damn! It was hell lol. We take life for granted, I infected two other people but they weren’t hospitalized.

Okeytus:
How your lovely elder brother or father cautioned you while growing up.
my question:
be frank with me, Did any of them raise their hand on you?

My brother, or my father isn’t my husband. So, I ask how does a husband caution a wife? ( my father never laid a hand on me).

Okeytus:
I don't see anything wrong in cautioning your woman, women that understand you will take corrections but those that can't, will see it as an abomination, stay away from such women!!
And if she doesn't learn from her mistakes and starts being repulsive to your cautions, send her back!!!

How do you caution a woman?

cococandy, how are you doing?? I just recovered from rona. I am asthmatic and high risk but I caught the rona and survived.

.

ginaolo:
She’s fine when around me. But she’s very very awkward around others. It’s very worrying.

ginaolo:
We have been together for a year plus. For how long will this continue? When you marry, in my culture you marry the family and it’s very important that you can relate with each other’s family well. I’m just concerned honestly.

You already know what to do.

ginaolo:
What do I do please?

Isn’t it obvious both of you aren’t compatible. How long do you think this ‘love’ will last in a life long marriage before you come here again to complain about your wife? There is nothing wrong with the kind of person you are and with what you want from your fiancé BUT she is also who she is. The issue is you’re not meant for each other.

So, you’re either delaying the inevitable breakup or you’re about to enter a whole new world of hurt by binding yourself with someone you aren’t compatible with for a lifetime.

In your last thread the consensus was for you to break you with her so she can go be with someone who would appreciate her the way she is, yet, here you are in 2020.

This is my best picture of this worm.

Cheato64:
I have never cheated on her before and after marriage, just that I still have the phone number of my ex and we watched a movie Okafor's law together. She so much believe in that movie, now back to the trust issue

If you’ve never cheated on her before then this is who she is and if this is who she is, why did you marry her? I can’t even stand a partner that answers the phone with “where are you?”. You either trust me or not.

This is bad and not sustainable. At some point you have to put your foot down. I suggest after she gives birth you guys have a very long talk. If you have cheated on her before, and she has forgiven you enough to marry you then part of giving you a second chance is to trust you until you prove her wrong again. You guys can’t be doing this, marriage is long.

This is why I can forgive a cheating partner but I can never get back with the person, because I can never trust that person again and it makes for a toxic and draining relationship.

emonis88:
U mentioning my family here shows how inexperienced, myopic and daft that u r. So the olodo clearly defines u. Mumu

lol so why are you so triggered?! If you believe the idea of marriage is to be beaten to a pulp in front of your children on the day most families are celebrating, then I see no reason why you shouldn’t want that for the women in your family. Don’t you want good things for your family?

martowskin1:
Bla bla bla , come down, u only heard one side of the story and boom u became emotional.

Fall back with your “let’s hear the other side” BS, a personal OP is always the POV of the OP, that’s literally the whole point of this section. If you don’t have anything to contribute to a thread it’s best you don’t jump on it.

If this OP doesn’t make you emotional, then there’s something seriously wrong with you.

emonis88:
From ur words I know u r not married. So ur advice in this situation il be like a primary school pupil answering a question from a university exam. U go fail woofully so just observe and learn from those with experience.

lol if your idea of marriage is to be pummeled on Christmas Day while your child cries for you, then you can save it for the women in your family that will be their portion.

eyinjuege:
Alooone
You're on the right path. Continue to build your career. Remember you have children who look up to you. Unfortunately, not every partner will stand by you
That is the way of the world.
Your husband has shown you he cannot be relied on through thick and thin. I like it when people show me who they truly are.
Even if he does come back and you both decide to continue with the marriage, know that you are indeed alooone.
Never take any decision that will be detrimental to you, or one that is for the 'common good', at your own expense.

I just typed this! Before I saw your comment. Exactly if she does go back she should do so with her head not her heart.

They should just scrap “for better for worse” in the marriage wows of a Nigerian wedding.

Husbands are justified in dissolving a marriage because the woman is infertile. We are now justifying husbands being inhuman and cruel to their spouse because of the wife’s diagnosis.

Indeed we can’t force your husband to be loving and compassionate to you when you need him most. I am sorry OP but your husband doesn’t love you, what kind of love changes or become cruel at the first sign of trouble? You don’t only love and support someone when everything is copacetic. Even if he couldn’t handle your illness, the way he treated you when you were down is very cruel and not human. Marriages are really solely for reproduction.

Hypocritically, a woman is expected to stand by her husband through thick and thin.

OP, I rarely tell people to leave their spouses so I want you to use this episode as an eye opener and go back with your head, now you know what time it is with your husband. Personally, he’s dead to me.

fieryy:
Girl, you're right. I do have a crush on the beautiful ladies who agree with me

I love y'all ❤️❤️❤️

Especially CHoccolaTE

❤️❤️❤️