₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
how can one change someone else like this?

Its almost impossible, but its doable.
She made the first mistake, multiple mistakes in fact, but I don't want to be judgmental.Everyone makes mistakes.

doitforyou:
You missed one tiny little detail. He used a belt on her.

I saw it.
Its still goes down to the fact that he has the wrong mentality, and doesn't value her, or at least doesn't fully understand her value.
Every action or inaction taken by humans starts from their mind.

Honesty001:
He is hot tempered.A choleric.Do you know people avoid him because he talks brashly. He talks anyhow and dosent really respect people.

He is being who he is, as I said above. Its his mindset, his personality. If you don't find a way to change his mind physically and spiritually, hmmm......

Honesty001:
Your last paragraph is my reality

Kindly check my response above.

First of all, what's the age difference ?. I suspect it might be at least 7-10 years

Never for once in your post did you state that you love him. RED FLAG

Never for once did you really state a core, good characteristic a husband, or any spouse should have RED FLAG

The fact that he fought for you, and sponsored your masters, and loves his kids, doesn't make him a good husband. Those were the only "good" things you spoke of him, nothing else. His priorities as a good husband are first to take good care of you emotionally, physically and in all areas, before anyone else, including your children.

I am not trying to judge you, I just wanted to point out certain facts and prevent other people from making the same mistakes you've made.

Now, to the resolution.

Don't let me sugarcoat things and deceive you, the only way to solve this problem is to change his mentality and mindset, without which no resolution is possible.

True love is all about selflessness, he shows no single sign of selflessness, he sees you as a trophy, a game he played for so long, and he owns you, possibly revenge for the way he was treated by you.

Can this be fixed ? Yes it can, but its a lot of hard work, it won't come easily, its not easy to change a mentality that has been built over decades. But its doable.

You can also ask God to touch his heart, and fix his mind.

If you can get him to do it, both of you can see a marriage counselor. He needs his mentality changed.

You deserve to be loved, appreciated and treated with respect.

Did you make a mistake, yes.
Is it going to be hard to resolve if you chose to stay in the marriage, yes.
Is it doable, yes.

Without working on his mind, physically and spiritually. You can't fix this situation.

wendyberry:
I'm using the UKA 32 inches led and the picture quality is also very dope.

i have a frnd that wanna sell a brand new one of it and is still very neat for 38k !!

Can you kindly post picture of it in action ?

omohanet:
My marriage is one year and six months. I was having issues with my wife which makes her to live my house to her parents house. To make her return to me I kneel down to beg her in the presence of her siblings and neighbors. Now she is back to my house. Was my action( to kneel down) right or wrong?

It depends on what you did exactly
What was the issue ?
If you give person belle, you need to lie down sef


Seriously now, what was the issue ?
I am guessing Domestic violence ?

Talk to us, we might be able to help

I doubt it
I think the number 1800 means 1800watt, if you consider power factor and efficiency into the calculation, that's about 1400 watts.
Pumping machines need a generator at least two times(sometimes more) their rating, same for freezers, because their starting current are quite high.

So if your pumping machine is 1.5hp, you need at least a 4.5kva generator, to prevent issues.
The same principle also applies to your freezer

I checked online your generator is 1.1kva . I don't think it would work

Please don't make the mistake I made, especcially if you would be building apple/macOS/IOS apps. Please buy a macbook if you can afford it .
What's your budget ?

PATAlolade:
I just recently sold my phone, So I need it to access Android App till I will get a new phone.

Search for
Blue stacks or Nox it's easier than installing Android SDK and virtualbox

First of all, why do you want to install Android SDK in virtualbox ? There could be an alternative.

What is wrong with people !

DO you have jdk aka JAVA installed ?

Cool
Thank God for your lives.

chii8:
Daddy, you are really old oooo to know all the details.

CanadaOrBust:
Thanks, and what is the meaning of “YIM” in the profile page

I think it means Yahoo Instant Messenger , there was a time it was popular.

Raustin

The charge depends on what you currently know and what I would be teaching you.

Beosten:
There is only one female among my siblings. But mom was the one that usually cooked our meals. Whenever mom wasn't around, and I just felt like cooking, mom would know I cooked the meals, and would ask why my sister couldn't cook better than I do despite learning from Mom for years.

There was one food seller in my street during my formative years, If you miraculously bring a food cooked by that woman to me today, I will tell you instinctively that 'Iya Dare' is the one that prepared it.

My Conclusion: cooking skills may be inborn. It may also be learned.

Inborn ? No, I doubt it
Like any learn-able skill, easier for some people to master ?. Yes

Nobody was born with cooking skills inbuilt into their brains.
If a man marries a wife who doesn't know how to cook, he should teach her.
If he doesn't know how to cook, then he isn't better than her.
Both the man and woman should learn how to cook, there are tutorials all over the internet.

It would take anywhere between 1 month to 3 or 4 months for any willing person to learn how to cook.

You can't teach a person good morals and values in that time frame.

Cooking skills are important, but there are other more important features a woman should have .

Cooking skills can be learnt in a short time. Psychological, mental, moral and behavioral values would take years in some cases to master .

gbagyiza:
It depends on the woman. If she is a humble type, the type that accord respect n also submit to her husband, the husband should not let her resign, they just need to discuss n find a suitable solution to this. But if the woman is the type that look down on the husband, n see him as nothing, in fact some will even try to take the position of the husband as the head of the house just because she earns more than him, I tell you he is in trouble because she can even seek for divorce if the husband ask her to resign.

Yeah, that's why I said this :

Jide, move to Lagos and be with your wife, as long as you know and you are sure, at least, sure enough, that she isn't a proud person

omoyankee3:
Financial power in the hands of the wife? That's the beginning of the end of the marriage.

How is the financial power in the hands of his wife na..He isn't losing his job, he is just getting transferred .
Maybe because the money looks big that's why we are seeing it this way. Let's scale it down

What if you are already married and your wife gets a new job paying her 420k, while you earn 150k. Would you tell her to resign ?

In marriage, or in this case proposed marriage, compromise is key.
Couples need to start seeing themselves as team players, treating the relationship and marriage as a business.
Whichever decision is the best for the team, in the long run, should be the best decision .

Ask yourself, if you were running a business and you have an option of getting an investor of 42 or 15m, which would you take ?

Its not like he is losing his job, he is just getting transferred, all he has to do is "measure up" in other areas of the marriage.

Jide, move to Lagos and be with your wife, as long as you know and you are sure, at least, sure enough, that she isn't a proud person.

Men should stop feeling intimidated by women.


In this case, its not like he is broke, poor or jobless. This is just plain ego and "what would people say"

One of the best ways to succeed in anything, especially marriage is ignoring what people would say.

Marriage shouldn't be a battle field of who is better, but it should be a place where winning and improvement should be the priority.

In the long run, what matters in marriage is that you have more wins than loses.


EDIT :

I can see some people quoting me
If you feel intimated by a woman earning more than you, then mutual respect really doesn't exist and you are basing your control of your home solely on your financial power.

I am not saying a man should not earn money and take care of his family .

But have you every asked yourself, why some women married to wealthy men who take care of all their needs still cheat on them ?

Money isn't everything, there are so many other aspects of marriage besides money.

In this case its funny, because the man isn't even broke at all. He is wealthy, at least by Nigerian standards.

Na wa for una

Make una sha follow me for twitter
www.twitter.com/NaijaSteveJobs

lizdammy:
Hello Great Programmers.

I am a would-be Programmer. My primary target is to learn how to make book apps.

I am asking for help for tools I need to use in converting a book into an app to be uploaded to Google Play Store.

Please assist with relevant information.

Thank you

What format is the book in ?
How many pages is it ?
I can help for an affordable price , depending on the details above.

How much
Please post a clearer picture of the charge cycle