₦airaland Forum

Adgideon:
This story is dead on arrival , to the extent that ur in-laws they help u find the gate to ur destination, my guy find another lie,

We can't be too sure if it's true or take, but I personally know someone who went through something similar, she was so scared of sex, her husband had to report her to people she respects to talk to her, then she gradually shifted her mind to succumb.

bukatyne:
@Donald3d:
Fantastic input, God bless you and family.

Amen, yours as well.

Theoretically : Yes

Practically: Yes, but you shouldn't do it.

Would you like me to explain ?

Ilola:
Is MouthAction between married couple a sin

No it isn't

Search on google using your AC brand and model

E.g Samsung X2ABC repair or LG B123 disassemble or LG B123 reassemble

Imogenn:
I’m asking because my friends wife doesn’t like me at all, I have Been friends with her husband, he is like my brother I can never ever see him in that way. But it’s like I’m just crossing the boundaries being friends with him. Is this not insecurity or does she have a reason to be this possessive?

You wouldn't blame her. She is guarding her territory .

If you were in her shoes you would understand how it feels.

There is a very thin line between true friendship and love or lust...That thin line is very easily crossed when opposite sex is involved, even when it was never the intention, in most cases, sooner or later, the line would be crossed.

Please keep your friendship as casual as possible, you don't need to speak to him everyday.
You don't need to seek advise from him all the time, even if he is good at giving them.
If you have a spouse please switch those gestures to him.

She most likely doesn't hate you, she just hates the fact that you are too close to her husband, and she sees it as a threat.

Imogenn:
I’m wondering if a married man can keep a close female friend, who is single with nothing attached. They were friends before the man got married. They talk and gist, advice themselves, but they are strictly friends. Is this possible?

Can a person drive for 1 hour at a consistent speed of 200 km/hr and survive it- Yes, its possible.
Should the person do it ?- No

It goes both ways, no married person should be too close to the opposite sex.

ImaIma1:
Some people should not bother getting married. These kind of men have a twisted idea about marriage probably from what they saw growing up or their own formed mindsets.

They just want to be treated like kings.

There is nothing wrong in wanting to be treated like a king, but it should be done the right way..Women also deserve to be treated like Queens...
When both parties have the right mentality, royal treatments would automatically flow both ways.

Beejaynma , I have updated my answer above, please go through it.

Beejaynma:
I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it a lot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage is all about

No, marriage isn't all about procreation .
Its going to be hard advising, because drastic measures need to be taken to find a lasting solution .

You also didn't mention any form of affection towards him, this also makes things a bit harder, I know its hard to have affection towards such person.
It may hurt to say this, but people should always be on the look out for one key factor when choosing a spouse; their mentality , its one of the things that is almost impossible to change.

A man who believes a woman is an object, and a subordinate would most likely never change.

Please don't ever try to take your life again, if you truly care about your children. If you kill yourself, your children would suffer a great deal, remember that always...No woman would treat your kids as good as you will.

Wishing you married a rich man would not also guarantee your happiness.. Happiness and friendship isn't in what the person has, but in how the person thinks, the values the person has. There are crazy rich men, who would make your life very miserable, I read about one recently .

Thankfully you didn't make mention of physical violence, what you are experiencing is emotional torture, its also a very dangerous issue. But its also considerably easy to resolve, you just have to do it the right way.

For us to solve any problem, we first have to understand the source/root of the problem, and neutralize it .
I would encourage you both to see a counselor, because sometimes, we think we are not doing anything wrong, but in fact we are wrong, just that the other party isn't handling the issue or their displeasure the right way( I am in no way trying to justify his attitude , its totally wrong ).

If you don't want to see a counselor, sit him down, and have a talk with him . Tell him how much you value your home, and how much you would like him to be your friend, and treat you right, also ask him if there is anything he expects of you that you aren't doing right, you might be amazed at the things he would say...Again I am not justifying his acts.....But some men, don't like communicating their displeasure, they prefer to act disrespectful, some women do this too....So you both have to communicate......As I always say, most marital issues, no matter how big they may seem, stem from one small problem, or a combination of small problems, that can be easily resolved if they are treated and resolved gradually, one at a time.

If things don't change, the next step is to rewire your brain and change your mentality, every body deserves to be loved....Everybody would love to be treated right by their spouse, but if it doesn't work, you have three options :

1. Find another source of happiness and friendship in your children, get a hobby, learn a skill online, watch movies, occupy your mind with productiveness. Be intentional with your life, make a lot of money.....You wouldn't even notice his absence with time, he would be the one getting worried.

2. I don't like third parties, especially family members, but it might be the next best solution, if things don't change. Most families are not good enough because everybody tries to attach emotions to their judgment, this is why a qualified counselor is the best third party, because they are objective.

3. Leave the house for sometime, with your kids...I would have said you should go to the court (not divorce), but it might not be so easy to handle things in the court, since there is no issue of domestic violence (I may be wrong, lawyers can educate me more on this). The thing is, sometimes people don't realize how good what they have is, until its away from them, so they need to stay for some time without it. He needs to miss his family.


You said you feel lonely, I am assuming you are also referring to sex, don't be ashamed to talk about sex. Yes, cheating is wrong....So we need to solve the foundation of the problems, with the steps above, sex would naturally come in.

In conclusion, I want you to understand that happiness is what you make it, and how you see it, make your children your primary source of joy and happiness, take them out to amusement parks, go and see movies with them(might be a bit difficult with the recent health risks posed by Corona Virus), but you can play games with them at home for now, ask them about their classmates, have conversations with them, make them your husband, since the person who is supposed to do that isn't doing it.


If you try all above and nothing changes, you might have to leave, I don't like encouraging divorce, but sometimes, its just the best thing to do,especially because of this :

He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them

If you try all above and nothing works, please go through a lawyer, or ministry of women affairs, don't try to take your kids away forcefully, it might not end well.

You would be alright.

You deserve to be happy, you can be happy.

Praying for you, please pray for yourself and your family too.

You know one thing about we Nigerians ?

We are one of the laziest people in the world.....No insult intended Sir .
We are mostly spiritually lazy and mentally lazy.We swallow everything fed to us, without questioning anything, or at least trying to get things directly from the source . This is why fake pastors are booming here.

Not to sound proud, I also have a connection with God, He is my friend, He speaks to me and I speak to Him.
If I need any information or clarification I go directly to the source
That doesn't stop me from thinking logically where I can.Or at least asking him to give me the wisdom and knowledge to think right and discern right.

You too can speak to God and ask Him yourself....It may be hard because you have already compromised yourself spiritually since carnal knowledge is in play already with the said lady.

Go to God, seek forgiveness, and genuinely ask Him to show you if she would be good enough for you. Fake pastors and prophets exists.

We Christians(kindly forgive me, if you aren't one), need to understand that everything isn't about the spiritual realm, at least as we see it, we think its everything....faith(spiritual) without works(physical) is dead...Drop your emotions aside as well, physically assess her characteristics and see if she would also make a good wife...Its really not that hard to discern a good woman, even if she is a pretender, ask God to give you wisdom and the spirit of discernment, you would see right through her.The spiritual and physical need to work together, that's why he sent Jesus in flesh....... Make I no preach too much

Read Proverbs 31 it gives some hints on a good wife.

Let's stop allowing parents and prophets have a final say in our lives(many people have lost good partners this way), you can also ask God yourself, build your own personal relationship with Him.

Also ask yourself if you are good enough for her and see what you can fix about yourself(if there is any), because most times, we focus too much on the other party, thinking they alone determine the success or failure of a relationship/marriage.

You are a grown man Sir, make decisions on your own, I am not saying its wrong to take counsel from elders, but they are not always right, and they don't know everything, no matter how much experience they claim they have.


I know a lot of people would say, he still shouldn't go ahead because he needs to be in the good books of his mother.I don't pray for her(your mother) to die early, but no matter how old she gets, she would die one day....After she is gone, you would be left with whichever partner you choose to be with, make sure its worth it and someone who would give you happiness and peace of mind.

Since you are confused, go to the source , ask Him.

Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!!

Sis, you have no idea how much people don't know about their own bodies.
For example, I laugh when I hear about some ladies urinating after sex to prevent pregnancy, thinking the urine would push/flush the sperm out, they don't know the urine has a totally different and separate passage !!!.
We learn everyday

Blessedone26:
Thanks for this masterpiece. Seriously we are both tired, I have tried atleast 85% of this... The fear she has is involuntary. Once attempt is being made, you will see that fear written all over her face. We just both decided yesterday that the way out is sedative drug. The objective is to give birth, make enjoyment dey him dey for now.

Enjoyment makes it easy for conception my Oga .You just have to keep trying.
She would be very dry if you use the sedative drug, she might get injured too.
But if you feel that's the best last resort, use enough lubricant.
Abeg no go overdose madam oo, jokes apart, overdose of sedative drugs is dangerous.
I want to plead to keep trying the methods I listed at least for another month.
And if you still insist on a sedative drug, please see a doctor Sir, and let the doctor prescribe and work you through every safety precaution you need to know..I take God beg you.

As sedatives work by depressing the central nervous system, the overuse of the drugs can slow body functions to such a degree as to cause unconsciousness, respiratory failure, and death.

ONYEKAfra:
Hello friend, one never know the kind of wife he married until situation show up

My wife's elder brother came to stay with me for Job, so I fix him up in where I work as a temporary staff
To my surprise, my wife abandon me, diverted all attention to his brother.
I normally got home around 10 pm everyday and my wife would just go and sleep, my food will be in the kitchen
Sometimes, she will give me food, no water. I will take it my self.

But when his brother came, She start serving him food, provide water in glass and stay with him late in the night, talking and gist till late in the night

When he would be going to work, she wake up and would escort him around 4 am

My surprise, they normally gave her milk from church, she would hid them for me not see and take
But now, her staying with me, she would gave him the milk, the left over bread I normally take, gave him. I never talk
His brother started sleeping in our office in order to reduce expenses, since I normally pay the fare and feed him in office, since he just start

Today as I am going to work, my wife quickly woke up, prepare rice and put in cooler, that I should gave to his brother,
Then I ask why she was doing that. She said to reduce expenses on me
I reply No, I do not carry rice because since i married her for almost years, she never gave rice to work. why should I carry rice to his brother
She said I am jealous

Kindly advice me in handling the issue

When certain issues are not resolved before marriage, or at the early stages of marriage it becomes very difficult to resolve Sir .
The only thing you can do right now, is to sit her down and talk to her(not in anger), tell her how you feel, what you expect of her, how you would love her to treat you.
This is the easiest way to get what you want.
She is obviously very attached to her brother, because most likely these are things she did for him before she got married to you.
You also have to ensure you are treating her right in every way, because some women tend to unknowingly or knowingly switch off their caring sides, when they are not being treated well.
Either way, you still have to talk to her and tell her how you feel, in a calm voice and tone.
Good luck

Blessedone26

I have updated my answer above, check it out...It should help.
Good luck

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

UPDATE !!!!! :

OP is making progress !!, I can't wait to chop naming ceremony rice

Blessedone26:
Bros, no vex, I didn't update the thread.


We are making progress. Atleast 50% during this quarantine period. She's now much more corporative since many people started asking her " how far". Thanks for your help sir.....

[quote author=Blessedone26 post=88094555]Abeg, make una check my signature patronize me, make my wife no pursue me comot for house , I can help make your business grow online
I build professional and affordable MOBILE APPS and WEBSITES , I am also a Tech Consultant


Follow me on twitter : www.twitter.com/LimitlessDonald

obisage:
Hi, my location is Magboro, MFM Prayer City, Lagos/Ibadan Express way. Ogun state.

Wow, that's far
What's the size of the available space ?

What's your location ?
We could partner and I pay you for the space.
I have sent you a DM

The good, the bad and the Ugly

hakeemhakeem:
Sell your condemned metals and batteries to us at mim tech it cash and carry reach us at 08035260901

I have one 100ah deep cycle battery and two 18ah deep cycle batteries .....How much ?

Please post the price tags, it would help you sell faster.
I am particularly interested in the imacs , how much per unit ?

innobarca:
Always check here, this week maybe.

I have Hp Elitebook 8440p Corei5, 500gb and 4gb.
Dell latitude 3330 Corei3, 500gb and 4gb.

Sweet laptops.

Ok, I would keep checking.
Please notify me when you have it in stock.

innobarca:
Up there, Ojo Lagos.

Sold out until new ones are available

Hi bro, is the x220 or x230 still available ?
If there aren't when would either of them be available ?

omotolsy:
See below as requested

Thanks for your response.
Where are you located please, not trying to belittle your sales/product, but is the price negotiable ?...Considering the fact that a charge has to be bought and battery changed ?

The specific model name/number please ?
You said no charger, can you please zoom into the charging port ?

decub:
12k

Oh, no thanks. I just need the one without battery, because I already have batteries. I would go to Arena, Oshodi to get it.
Thanks again

decub:
I have one that I want to sell. Reason for sale is that voltage in my area is low so I would need a stabilizer to put it to optimal use and I already have a 1KVA stabilizer which is not ideal for a 1.5KVA UPS. If I can get a new 650VA, I can swap with my 1.5KVA. Battery condition is good cos it still does up to 30mins at 50% load. Location is Igando/Ikotun.

How much

odimbannamdi:
3k is the last price.

Good condition, but batteries are totally dead. You will need to replace them or use the UPS for inverter improvisation.

Location is Mowe

That's far, thanks anyway

odimbannamdi:
Just replace batteries and use, or use it for inverter setups

Price: 5k each.

2500 ?
Your location ?
Working condition ?