₦airaland Forum

I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back

This would not solve anything, it would only make things worse.

-Keep trying, have sex as many times as possible, if possible everyday, I know it sounds crazy, but its possible, to boost your chances.
-You both should learn how to calculate her ovulation period and use it to your advantage.
-Understand her menstrual cycle and prepare something fun to make her distracted whenever her period is around the corner.
-Pray, talk to God, he answers prayers
-Eat a balanced diet, rest well, both of you.
-Limit stress, especially her, sometimes women can have miscarriages without even knowing(no negative prophecy intended, just being factual)
-Make sure your immune system is always solid, integrate garlic and ginger into your food.
-You both should also take fruits regularly.

-Keep talking to her, make her understand that she is your cake, a baby is just the icing, and the cake is delicious even without the icing.Make her understand that you value her more than she imagines. I know she already knows that, but you just have to keep reminding her. A baby or even babies would come.

-Also understand that during menstrual periods, women can be excessively emotional than normal, this has to do with hormonal fluctuations, so its normal for her to "over-react" , or to become sad, just keep cheering her up.

You can get her a gift, or just take her out anytime her period comes, it doesn't have to be expensive, just a thoughtful gesture to take her mind off the worry of conception.

Take it a step at a time, please don't get upset with her. Make her understand its ok to be worried about a situation, but it should not tarry for too long, channel your worries into prayers and works(sex, balanced diet, enjoying yourselves, hanging out with each other, exploring each others bodies).

Enjoy your time with each other and make sure there is always a fun activity . When your bundle of joy start coming you won't have all this time and space again ooo

Please understand that she wants to also make you happy and she isn't happy she can't "complete your happiness, keep reassuring her that you are happy with her, and she is your world.Please don't be too hard on her.

Take care of your Queen bro.

FrLukas:
I think the word Alpha-male has been used and abused and overused on this forum.

Alpha-male isn't synonymous with anger and brute force.

Exactly !

DortmundGirl:
I've come to see many different ways of argument between man and woman around me and out of personal experience.

- some do beat the woman during fight, it's a no go to me,

- some discuss for days, yell and scream. I don't like it so much, am a calm person,

-some totally ignore each other for days and don't speak to each other, can you stand it??

I prefer discussing after a fight and look for solutions together. What's your opinion on that??

Let's be honest, arguments are inevitable . The focus should be on why the arguments are being made, in what manner they are being made.
Overtime, couples who communicate effectively, would stop arguing, because arguments are as a result of misunderstandings. Simply put, not understanding each other, or not understanding the current situation, or having a different perspective on the issue at hand, or to further simply put, gradually learning more about each other.

Raising of voices on each other should be ruled out, physical abuse should be ruled out, sitting down and actually talking to each other, is the right thing to do.
I know its easier said than done, but couples should always ask each other these basic questions :

1.If I shout on him/her, would this issue be resolved ?
2.Is there a better way of communicating my displeasure about the current situation ?
3.Is the issue worth talking or arguing about in the first place ?
4.What could possibly go wrong if I use this mode of argument/ registering my displeasure

Number 3 is very important, many arguments, can be avoided because they are things that can just be over looked. I am an advocate for not overlooking things because they could gradually grow to become bigger problems. But there are some very petty things couples argue over, that they could just give each other a warm kiss and let slide.

No matter how much couples argue, they should keep one rule, it works wonders, never go to bed / work / school without reconciling, never transfer the grudges of today to tomorrow.

God himself understands that we are emotional beings, that's why Ephesians 4:26 says

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath"

Controlled anger, is an art that should be learnt by everyone, overtime its one of the most important and valuable habits one can possess, especially married couples.

Sex is also a great antidote for anger, find a way to have at least a session, I know its easier said than done, but just try
When you are done, you both have a heart to heart conversation of what you are both displeased about .Everybody is calm at that point.Apologize to each other, without regard to who was wrong or right.

Other great antidotes are pausing and thinking, temporary silence, pause for a few minutes, drink water, calm down, think, re-evaluate the situation.You might even be the wrong person, and your partner may be right about what is causing the argument.

A lot of arguments that spiral out of control isn't really because of what is being argued about, but the manner in which the displeasure is communicated.The tone in your voice should be modulated in a way that it doesn't have hostility written all over it.

I know, its easier said than done, hence the need for self-control.

JuanDeDios:
Thank you!

You're welcome

tradebot:
I have reviewed some Erps in the world today and many have not been developed for this purpose. Is there anyone that is close to this purpose and customisable and affordable.
It could be cloud based or premises based.

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Expenses with picture evidence
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I can build one for you

JuanDeDios:
|
Anyone knows?

Its called a Vertical Bar

I am an introvert as well.
I am assuming you don't know the meaning of Bipolar, please be sure of the meaning and don't curse yourself. If indeed you are convinced you are bipolar, you need to see a medical professional.

There is one thing introverts need to understand, people don't have to understand you, people don't have to like you as long as you are doing no wrong or committing no crime. But guess what, you have many secrete admirers .A few real people would come into your life to like and love you unconditionally for who you truly are. Don't force it

But I would be very honest that you still need to gradually build your confidence, its very important if you want to build meaningful relationships, especially business relationships.

Don't try to be someone else. Being an introvert has so many advantages, more than you can imagine. One of the most important is avoiding fake people and choosing your right circle/people.

As for romantic relationships, you don't have to be an extrovert to get a meaningful partner, you don't have to go partying or clubbing to get a partner.


I never changed who I am , I didn't need to conform to people's definition of what I should be. All I did was to constantly be the best version of myself everyday, I improved and I am still improving everyday. Most importantly I am still me.

Don't let people's definition of what an "ideal" person should be, define you. Be yourself, as long as you are doing no wrong, or committing no sin or crime.

Being an introvert is a gift, our minds operate on a different level, we think differently, we see differently, we have enough time to think logically and analytically, put all that together and you have the potential to create things beyond human comprehension, stop seeing it as a challenge, its an unfathomable gift and blessing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4

AntiIncognito:
Whats the risk of using without stabilizer cos i cant afford one for now..

If you are in Lagos, go to Oshodi Arena and buy a second-hand UPS with or without battery.It doubles as a stabilizer . 650va costs 2-2.5k, 1200va cost around 3-5k.

deyink1:
help.
I need zinox driver
Google isn't helpful

if any please contact:

07086503756

Install "driver booster" from IOBIT , it would automatically scan and install outdated or absent drivers

Mike559:
Hello, i am looking for best android app development company for my projects

Hello, I have a registered company into this .
Can you kindly send me a message : WhatsApp : 08124021849 Call : 08182346055

How much would you charge to print 100 copies of business card(back and front). I have the designs ready.

MadCow1:
Hi......

I am in search of a good web designer.

I will be needing proof of previous works done by whoever applies for this job.

If interested, do send me a private message with your contact information and any other details I might need to know and also indicate here (On Nairaland) that you have done same and I will reach out to you.

Thanks & Best Regards..

M.C

I've sent you a DM

Why !!!

yeyeosoronga:
Personally, I find it easier to make money than to do chores.
I rather outsource a lot of things. She was probably tired after the packing/moving house and washing curtains. Curtains!!! I jump and pass.
Perhaps even in her father's house, she doesn't do as much chores and washing clothes. Its allowed to be tired and to rest o.

Yes its allowed to be tired, but not in the manner in which she did it. She should have conveyed her message properly, if indeed she was tired. There is nothing wrong in saying "Hubby I am tired, please let's do this later", from the way the man is described, he most likely would have told her to go and rest and he would handle it.

Mode and manner of communication is very important.

Women can be very "wonderful" , if she is not always like that, he should find out what is eating her up.

You mentioned that they are staying in his families house, its possible she is not comfortable with the idea.
Let him vex small, but not try to exchange words, when he has finished vexing, he should swallow his pride, go to her and tell her he does not like what she did and ask her what warranted her disrespect .

I always say this, even though its a wrong attitude, women tend to be more emotional than logical, they prefer sometimes to use "attitude" to communicate than actually being vocal.

They should both communicate

Still not an excuse for her behavior though.

Some women here sha, how can you say she is allergic to washing, imagine a man saying he is allergic to making money, Nairaland would not rest that day.

Noblefirstlady:
But what stopped him from marrying a slay mama. She has always been timid and all

Well, you are right. That's why I said her "upgrade" might still not work.
Many people get married thinking they can "handle it" then they later discover that they want something more. Oga wanted to marry a good, timid geh, now he is ashamed of her, because she is not slaying.

Has he even attempted to help her "slay". The thing is its almost impossible to fix a relationship where one partner is not fully committed.

The thing is, people who would cheat would cheat, some people marry beauty queens that slay more than slay queens and still cheat.
The problem ? Their moral/value system, and lack of contentment and commitment.

People nowadays do not understand why they get married, they don't deeply understand the sacredness of marriage, they don't understand the FACT that marriage is letting go off your selfish and guilty pleasures just to fixate your eyes on your spouse alone, they are not contented. They want everything. This reminds me of the 80/20 rule (From the movie Why Did I Get Married- you should see all the parts, so much to learn !).

But again, I don't blame some men, its a foundational problem, parents spend all their time training the female folk to be prepared for marriage, teach them how to cook, respect and care for their home, and they neglect the very males their daughters and other people's daughters would get married to, making statements like "he is a man, he would marry a woman, leave him alone", whenever he makes errors that need to be corrected.

I have being doing this "research" on men/guys/boys. This care-free attitude and propensity to cheat is as a result of parent's negligence in inculcating values and the need to be accountable and treat people around them with respect.Men from a very little age are made to think they are boys and they can do anything they like and get away with it. That's how boys do . They become care-free at a little age and as expected transfer it into their adult lives by being philanders, as long as it pleases them, they do not care how the other party feels. Its the same reason for other things like domestic and emotional violence, its the same reason why many Nigerian men would NEVER help their wives with domestic chores. They can do as they like, its ingrained in their psyche .


Am I saying women don't cheat or misbehave too ?, they do, but most don't with the impunity with which men do.

Some guys make the fallacious assumptions that they can lay with as many women as they want simultaneously before getting married, and remain faithful to their wives when they eventually do get married. Sorry to burst your bubble bro, its almost impossible. Learn to keep your "johnny" in your pants, learn self control.Self control practiced before marriage, becomes very easy to execute when married.

Today, its Funke, tomorrow Chidinma, next tomorrow its Hauwa , most guys lose count of how many people they have slept with before they turn 25 .How then do you remain faithful when you get married. Its HARD . You have learnt to think with your "johnny" instead of with your head overtime. We have a problem on our hands. Parents need to do better.

I know I may have deviated from the subject matter, but I just felt that it was important for me to dissect this.....

I don dey talk too much, the thing dey pepper me for body, but make I .....

Noblefirstlady:
Yeah she is this typical traditional woman. She always say she will be there for her kids so divorce is out of the picture.
And the man will be very happy if she ask for divorce because he is ashamed of her. He prefers his side chick with all the slay qualities.

There is no justification for cheating, but she should also "upgrade" and "slay". I am not justifying the man's actions, but many married women get too relaxed, whether you are educated or not, look good for your husband, wear bum shorts around the house .

Many Nigerian women always go from hot looking divas to wrapper tying, dull-looking, women . They get too relaxed and complacent. This goes for men as well. Be in shape for your spouse, look good, smell nice even if you are more than 50 years old. Don't stop looking and smelling appealing.

Since she wants to keep her marriage, she should make some personal "upgrade". There is still no guarantee however that he would change, but she should give it a shot.

She probably already knows. She just chose to feign ignorance, the classic Nigerian woman's tale of " he would change", "I am here for my children", "what more can I do" .

Most times any man/woman who is bold enough to inflict physical injury/violence continuously on their spouse without any form of remorse, is also cheating/inflicting emotional injury without remorse(ladies take note of this).

This man has gotten the point where I call point of no return.Anybody who can cheat without remorse(publicly), can kill you if given the chance.

The real question is, if you tell her, what happens next ?

As I always say, its better to treat the root cause of problems than treating the symptoms of the problem.
Oga has no respect for her, simple. So she has to gain some back.
I usually do not encourage divorce, but I would gladly back it when physical violence comes into play, what if she falls and die one day ?

Since you are educated you can help her.
1. I am glad she has something doing already. She should start saving massively.
2. Help her get a lawyer, save all these Facebook posts(screenshot them), have recordings if you can audio/video evidence of all his misbehavior.Get neighbors and people who care about her to testify in court against him.
3. She should file for divorce, for Oga to still be collecting money from her, that means she is not doing badly in business and she can stand on her own with her kids. Let him go and be with his side chick, since he wants her so much that he shamelessly brought her to their matrimonial home !.

I am not encouraging cheating, but when a partner cheats without remorse and does not even attempt to hide it, they are telling you to your face that you are irrelevant in the equation.So do them a favor by taking yourself out of the equation.

People should stop getting married if they can't be faithful to their partners, its nauseating ! .

We need more details.

Una go just dey oppress person for auto section
Dear God, please give me money, bless my hustle.

Cool