₦airaland Forum

How to Fly To China As A Witch is the funniest thread of the year not just on Nairaland, but on the whole internet.

EloSela:
The Uk is nothing at all like US. It's better!

The US is just like Nigeria with nearly 2million Nigerians there and counting compared to only 400,000 Nigerians in the UK.

Considering that the US is more than 5 times the population of the UK, that would mean that would mean there are equal no of Nigerians per capita.
And not to mention that the US has many metropoltan areas Naija people flock to while most Nigerians in the UK  end up in London. which would mean your beloved London is actually more like Nigeria than anywhere in the world.

EloSela, you have bitterness issues. I'm guessing some Nigerian American got under your skin which inspired your silly rant. Grow up. Why are you getting bent out of shape because someone said something about your precious UK, a country which you are not even a native of. I personally would not want to live in the UK, I like my life here in the States, and I know for sure the UK could not offer me a similar standard in my chosen profession. Perhaps it's the opposite for you. Good for you that you like your life in the UK. But for you to get so emotional about trivial matters makes you appear immature.

Seems you are suffering from Napoleon complex and jealousy issues. Sorry that the US gets more props than your country.  Deal with it!   
You can't blame people for  prefering the diversity of climate, people, jobs, that  can be found in the US as opposed to the UK.

Abedisi:
Me grandma once told me a story and it goes like this, "Their use too be a rich white man and he had a bird he really cared for.The bird was spoilt and well feed,but still the bird was not satisfied and longed to go back home, on this memorable day he said to his loving rich friend oom his oom(home is home). The rich man was sad and decided to bug the bird and let him have his freedom. The rich man later went on a search for his good friend and he found him in a dirty environment and he was looking hungry but he was glad to be home"

Where is your home? Lets be proud of who we are and not where we live,

Abi o! It's kind of illy for Nigerians to be arguing for other man's country. If I had enough money right now, I'll be booking my ticket and packing my goods and head back home. Home is where the heart is.

I don't know why anyone would be reccomending Real or Windows media player. The OP asked for software, not bloatware.

VLC is superior to all others, runs very light,  and is multi-platform. Media Player Classic is not to bad either, and actually does a better job for seeking *.wmv files, but it has not recieved any updates in ages, while VLC is continuosly improving. The problem with MPC is that you have to download codecs, and it uses much more system resources.  One thing for certain is I don't use any Windows Media Player Trash on my computer.

You still don't get it, do you. Check my post history. I do not go around looking for errors, even though I see many of them. I am not an a***hole. This is the only time I have corrected someone's grammar. I would not have bothered you had you not done a similar thing to the original poster, implying he had no backing, and accusing him of trying to start religious battles.

And I won't even bother to correct the grammar in your last post. :smh:

Now move along and don't allow this thread to divert any further. Silly thing.

wendymanda:
@ dtw_sol
In trying to make some one look stupid you turned the mirror on yourself. You have never heard of statistical? In case you did not know statistical is a word. The error I made was by not saying "statistical data" That is the big error you caught thereby granting you a standing ovation. English is not my first language, however there was nothing un-English about it, except I did not put 'data'. Mr. English professor, next time you want to correct someone especially on their English, you might want to make sure your understanding of English words is up to par.

My friend don't embarrass yourself. OK. Everyone knows statistical is a word. That's not the issue. You said: Do you have any statistical, . And here was my question to you: What is a statistical? Since you don't seem smart enough to figure it out, let me help you out. You used statistical as a noun when it is in fact an adjective. If you really meant to put data instead of that, then next time, look at what you type. And use the Modify button to correct errors so people can understand what you type. English is not my first language either, so you have no excuse.

So now not only have you proved yourself to be stupid, but you have absolutely no ability to infer and read between the lines. The only reason I even bothered you is that you implied the OP did not have any backing to his claims when you could have just done a simple search and saved yourself from looking like a dunce. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Now go sit down. We're not on the same level.

And my name is dtw_sola, not sol. RESPECT!

uspry1:
Really, you hacked someone's account accessing to Nairaland!

Don't tell me you actually believe that. He/she probably is using this has an aternate profile, or had the password already. Seun probably only bans profiles, and not ip addresses, so it is an easy thing to do.

FactorChic:
, , so those foolish Nigerians that moved to TX or Canada at age 21 then turn gay, were they born that way too?,

It's funny how some Nigerians like to pretend there are no homos in our country. That is a big fat lie. Trust me. I was in boarding house, and some of the guys I boarded with were certified homosexuals.  I'm no genetecist so I don't know whether or not it is hereditary, but I don't see how that matters anyway.  The homosexual taboo is greater in Nigeria and  Africa than other western countries. This does not mean they don't exist, they are just repressed.  It's all about the environment , that is why there are people like Justin Fashanu who was a full blooded Nigerian.

folahann:
this seems more like a joke

Yes it is a joke. That's why it's in the Jokes section. Landover Baptist is a fictitious interneet parody church that mocks Christian conservaties. Google them. A lot of their stuff is very funny.

It's funny how all of these only refer to male homosexuality. I guess being a lesbian is socially acceptable, and being a gay man isn't.  It doesn't bother me too much though since I love watching lesbian porn.

The Nigerian state is secular just like her constitution.

Kogi State. But  I have spent less than 2 months of my entire life in Kogi. I schooled and spent most of my time in Ibadan.

This thread is kind of silly. It doesn't take much searching to see the ugly side of Lagos. In fact as soon as you get out of MMA, you can see it all around you. It is completely unavoidable. If Lagos was thought of as some sort of paradise, then I'd understand. But people all over the world already have low expectations of Lagos, Nigeria. And if you ask me, the pics in the Lagos skyline thread are not very impressive in the first place. Unlike the Kenya thread which was a very impressive. So I just don't see the point of this thread.

Despite it all, Lagos still my favourite place in all of Naija, and no other state even compares.

wendymanda:
Have any statistical that? Any F-test, Paired T-test, anything at all to back up you claim. Or did you want to start a religious argument?

What is a statistical? Please type in correct English. And if you just did a simple google search you'd find numerous articles to back up the claim. Here's one:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/wtwtgod/3490490.stm

Do demons exist? -  No
Do they possess people? - No, because they don't exist.

I do agree with the people who said there is nothing wrong with being single, but I don't understand why Nigerians are so adamantly against divorce. Why should people subject themselves to tumultuous and high stress relationships, when they can have out? Yes there are some people that divorce for silly, and vain reasons, but many times there are also legitimate reasons for divorce.

The way you described it sounds bad. Since you heard physical noises, it may possibly be a hardware problem, which you would need a skilled professional for. I know here in America that is damn expensive (can be thousands of dollars). First they charge you for evaluation, and then they charge you to actually recover the data. But in actuality most dead hard drives are caused by aparticular OS' software issues. So simply using another OS is a good thing to try . If you are using windows, you can try and find a computer running a Linux OS, or get a live cd, and mount the hard drive, and you would be able to see the the contents. And then just copy your data over to another hard disk or burn to cds. That has happened to me once before. Windows didn't recognize my laptop hard drive, but Ubuntu did. I was so relieved. Good luck!

[center]MAN[/center]

focused:
USA IS EQUALLY AS RELIGIOUS AS NIGERIA, AND USA IS NOT A POOR COUNTRY.

I THINK MOST PEOPLE WHO BUILD CHURCHES ALL OVER THE PLACES IN NIGERIA ARE NOT CALLED FOR SUCH VOCATION, BUT THEY DO THAT OUT OF POVERTY. A WAY OF MAKING MONEY.

MYSTERIOUS PROBLEMS IS ALSO PART OF THE REASONS WHY MOST PEOPLE IN NIGERIA ARE RELIGIOUS. SOME OF THEM HAVE EXPERIENCED PROBLEMS WHICH HAVE DEFY MEDICAL SOLUTION AND WERE ABLE TO FIND SOLUTION BY GOING TO ONE OF THE CHURCHES.

Even in the U.S, you’ll find that the poorest and most downtrodden areas tend to be the most religious. The most prominent community leaders in poor black American communities are both reverends (Jesse & Al). Now look at countries like Norway, Sweden, and Japan which all have high standards of living, but more balanced wealth distribution. I think it is more than mere coincidence that they are also among the least religious countries in the world. I think Sweden is 85% atheistic/humanistic, yet always ranked as one of the most developed countries. Religion most definitely is a strong function of poverty.

Ndipe:
In Nigeria, your mates in the public and private sectors of the economy, particularly the banking and oil industry, have become highly placed. Most earn the equivalent of between 200,000 and 300,000 dollars a year plus other incentives to wit.

That is very hard to believe. What positions is he referring to?

THe UK FCO pretty much says the same thing. We should be honest with ourselves. If Nigeria was not our mother country, all of us would be wary of visiting the country as well.


Here's Link: Copy and paste. For some reason, clickable link doesn't work.
http://www.fco.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&=1007029390590&a=KCountryAdvice&aid=1013618386298

I like most things about Canada, except hockey. I visit there when I can. I'm actually moving to upstate New York for a job soon, and I relish the fact that I'll only be a stones throw away from Montreal, Canada. One of my favorite cities in the world, and definitely the most lively in Canada. I'll have to brush up on my French though.

And yes England (at least London) doesn't get too cold, nor too warm. I personally like either cold or warm weather. London has to have the worst weather I've seen. It's always mild. Not too cold. Never warm. Rainy and gloomy. Lukewarm = boring. At least in Canada and Northern/Western US, you get frequent snow in the winter which is fun to look at, and most places get warm enough in the summers to enjoy outdoor activities.

Everywhere in the mainland, except Hawaii. Also you can drive to Canada and Mexico (I think) with a US passport.

Road trips are one of the fun things about America (and Canada), especially when you are young, adventurous, and have entertaining friends. But since I finished uni, I refuse to drive in a car for more than four hours. Anything longer than that, and I'm taking a plane. Plus you don't want to put so many miles on a new car.

At first, I mostly enjoyed just laughing at the comments on the Religion forum. I was actually thrilled to find out they were like minded irreligious Nigerians. Reverend's comments always crack me up. I enjoy most of the forums, except for Music. It just seems that most Nairalanders have bad taste in music

If you don't want people to spam you, you need to turn off the option of having your email address displayed in your profile.

Also if you do stupid things like posting their email undisguised on a discussion forum, you will likely get spammed but probably not by Nairaland members. Any email phishing bot could easily pick up the pattern. If you must exchange your email on a forum, either pm it to the person of interest, or disguise it in a way that only a human could easily decipher.

I doubt I've ever seen a more on-point analysis of our country's current regime. I realize the commentators are non Nigerians but many of their points are quite valid, and they really seem to have a deep understanding of the current political and economic climate of our great nation.

Don't take my word for it. Watch it yourself



P.S.: Seun do/can we have capability to embed flash video on this board?

sy2000:
you must be joking! Crank that soulja boy rocks. am talking about the dance steps, the movement, the lyrics. boy if u ain't got nothing to say apart from hating, go sit down abeg.

When i do the soulja boy i lean to the left and crank that thing like uuuuuuu
am jerking on your b i t c h a s s and if we get to fight then am corking on your b i t c h a**
u catch me at your local party, da mn i crank it everyday, haters get mad cause i got me some ***********

I love that song

The fact that you got the lyrics wrong shows you probably have no idea what the hell the song even means. My friend, the song is hot garbage, and the sad thing is that it shows the follow the crowd mentality which you yourself have just displayed. Everybody dancing to a stupid meaningless song just because everyone else is doing it, without even realizing they are grooving to complete nonsense and they are making themselves look stupid
Anyway I still like this Naija boy video because it's a decent parody, but Soulja boy is a fluke, and I question the intellectual ability of people who enjoy his trash.

[GENERALIZATION]
As an unpatriotic Nigerian, I can understand why some other West Africans hate us. Look at all you guys saying that other West African countries are jealous of us. Jealous of what exactly? Are you kidding? What exactly has Nigeria accomplished that is so great for them to be jealous of? Despite all the resources, OIL, our claimed "intellectual prowess", and human capital; our GDP per capita is still near dead last among other West African nations, we still have less regular power than they do, we still have crumbling infrastructure, low tourism, combined with a terrible reputation abroad. What exactly are we being proud of again? Then some have the nerve to run around screaming "giant of Africa". LOL! As if it's something to be proud of that we are a big underporforming country. The fact is that many of us are just feeling big over nothing. To whom much is given much is expected, and we are falling well below expectations (even by African standards). Instead of us to drop the ego, and try and see how to make our country live to it's potential, many of us sit around gloating over nothing.
[/GENERALIZATION]

Nonetheless, anyone who judges another person simply by his nationality is an idiot. Not all Nigerians are patriotic egomaniacs. Many of us are reasonable people. And I have met quite a few useless Ghanians, Senegalesse, and Cameroonians so bad apples exist in all nationalities.

The thread title is hilarious.

That is all.

Crank That - Naija Boy

Found this by accident on Youtube. and thought it was hilarious.
For those who don't know, it's a parody of the extremely popular Soulja Boy Crank That (which I think is the dumbest song in history), but these Naija boys actually sabi rap small, and the video is pretty funny.

Keep in mind that there is really no such thing as Nigeria. There is Yoruba land, Igbo Land, Hausa Land, etc. Nigeria is a creation of British imperialists who deserted the country after rampaging it, stealing it's resources (both natural and human), and imposing their nonsense religion on it's people,. What do you expect when arbitrary boundaries are drawn up irrespective of the fact that the people living within the boundaries may have different cultures languages and customs. We will one day overcome it all, and learn to respect each other.