₦airaland Forum

cynthoney:
hope u slept well babes cos i did

ok oh,i don hear u.

if e ever repost any already posted joke

fire him!!!

kk, no worry i no go repost am u here?

[quote author=Efemena_xy link=topic=498074.msg6583389#msg6583389 date=1281995104]Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - Now that's what I call a really COOL JOKE!!

nice 1 element - keep 'em rolling pls. . . [/quote]thnx alot efe

ha no no no no, let d people decide dat oooo

blacksta, which one be obese kissing again ooo

blacksta:
Element G is after my crown with his yokes. I am still King of yokes

hmmmm, nice one

blacksta:
C Honey Loff - This joke is off the hook

u like it?

thnx man

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=497865.msg6582484#msg6582484 date=1281982827]All this your joke them need Nafdac Number jor!! 

I piss for pant afta I read the Ashewo own wey dem despoil with counterfiet 100 card. 

NA Efe dey talk say make we no spoil her!      (My lips are sealed)  [/quote]ha no be me talk am ooo

Spyker:
Element G, you are doing very well in this section.
Keep it up.

thanks alot, i owe u one

sledge406:
Is there any lady who can't play the flute?

Raise your hand up.

chai sledge, d day wey all d girls wey dey dis forumn go catch u, anyway God knw say na joke me i just dey crack ooo

thnx alot man

thnx man

sledge406:
Awwww buhbye <Finally dat young blooded Nanny is mine. . .All old johnny needs is a lil viagr.a which aint necessary>
I wonder how that young boy go feel wen im see dose your sagged bre.asts wen be like stretch mark.
Even G-string wen u wear sef dey sag for your already fallen yansh.
Na money dem wan use u go do so.

Once again, buhbye! 

sledge dat one no nice oooo

u like it?

Now dis is wat i call sheer wickedness:

This German POW Camp is getting over crowded, So the authorities decide they will set some prisoners free, So they call the head of the English section, the head of the Russian section and the head of the Jewish section to a meeting

The Commander say's to them. Due to our mighty armies capture of new prisoners we are going to give you old prisoners a chance of release. I will ask each of you a question, if you get it right or if you are reasonably close you will be set free along with your comrades

Pointing to the Englishman he say's, You English what was Germanies Greatest Battle

The Englishman ponders then say's, Dunkirk!

The Commander say's, very good English, you may gather your comrades together and leave the camp

Pointing to the Russian he say's, You Russian how many died in that Great Battle

The Russian ponders then say's, About 5,000

The Commander say's, That's near enough, you may gather you men together and leave the camp

Then he points to the Jewish man and say's, You Jew what were their names and addresses.

This Australian lived in the outback all his life and he comes over to England to stay for a short time with a friend

One day he's walking along a railway track when he hears a train whistle. Never having seen a train in his life he just carries on walking and the train hits him a glancing blow knocking him flying to the side of the track

After a week in Hospital with some bruising and a broken leg. They send him home to his friends house on a pair of crutches

Just as he hobbles into the kitchen the kettle starts to whistle. He grabs one of his crutches and starts knocking the hell out of the kettle

Hearing the racket his friend runs in and say's, What the hell are you doing

The Aussie say's, YOU GOTTA KILL THESE B.ASTARDS WHILE THE'RE SMALL

thanks man

sledge406:
Exactly wetin blacksta fit do to spite Studio

Greedy boi

no be me talk am ooo

man dis guy is wise:

The Affair

A husband and wife are driving along the Motorway doing 55 mph.
The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house."
Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids, too."
The husband just keeps driving faster and faster, now he's up to 80mph.

She says, "I want the car, the bank account and all the credit cards too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass pillar, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag."

Hell of a Place

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Bill.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw Kenneth Starr, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Clinton stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

can anyone be more stupid than dis:

This Blond goes home and finds her husband in bed with another woman.

So she runs down stairs grabs hold of a gun off the wall, runs back up stairs and holds the gun to her head.

Her husband jumps out of bed and pleads with her not to shoot herself.

The Blond said "SHUT UP YOUR NEXT".

This teacher taking a class of kids who are ready for leaving school, and she say's to them, I want you all to make up a poem about what you want to be or do when you leave school

About an hour later she said. As anyone finished, if so lets hear your poem

This lad named Sam stands up and starts to read his poem:

My name's Sam

I want to be a man

I want to go to China or Japan

Maybe if I can

Next this girl stands up, and starts to read her poem:

My names sadie

I want to be a lady

I want to have a baby

Maybe if I can

Then this rum-bugger at the back stands up and starts:

My names Dan

I'm going to be a man

I'm gonna get Sadie and give her that baby

And I don't mean maybe, I f.ucking well am.

oya cynthy no vex

cynthoney:
yep!

thanks girl

cynthoney:
nice going!,

so i guess i tried on dat one

cynthoney:


say NO to d devil!!!!

please pray for me oooo

cynthoney, dis one wey u dey vex for me, hope say i never chop broken glass

eyah, cynthoney no vex now, no be my fault na devil cause am

A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of b.itches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of b.itches that are getting on, get your a.sses in the train cause were leaving". The mother went in and told her son, "we don't use that kind of language in this house." Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don't want to hear any bad language.

Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today".

"For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the b.itch in the kitchen."

oh k, so we are cool vicks

A man and his friend are riding through the desert when they find a magic lamp. The first man rubs the lamp, and a genie comes out to grant him three wishes. However, the genie warns him, whatever you wish for, your friend here gets double. So, the man first wishes for a billion dollars. The genie grants it, and his friend also gets 2 billion dollars. Then, the man wishes for the sexiest woman on the planet to spend his time with. Wish granted, and his friend gets two of such women. And finally, his third wish, "I wish to be beaten half to death."

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler," replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "Like what?" asked the bartender. "Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said. The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said. So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender."That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said. The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"