₦airaland Forum

HAPPY NEW YEAR BOLAONI!

HAPPY NEW YEAR NAIRALAND!

Well I have never been slapped by a guy, but if it happened . . . hmnn . . .

@alabiyemmy I thought that was u, why did you post that model pic?

Thanx Naijacutee and Your welcome joy blinks!

Track 7 'You make me wanna' by 'Blue' UK boy group

http://fansite.blue10.co.uk/one_love_lyrics.htm#U%20Make%20Me%20Wanna

all you had to do was post the lyrics u knew in a search bar like i did. Otherwise it is hard to guess like mycutiepie said.

Lucifer - your name fit you well!

@Kemory - Happy to be of help. I hope it works out for you. Think this method is easier to follow than fad diets, it may or may not be quick but it will sustain the weight loss anyway. Like Euphoria said though it is the exercising that will help the weight drop faster.

I feel your plight my dear. I know you are older than me so I hope you don't take offence or feel I am being when I speak to you. I have a degree in Biomedical science and I am studying medicine but it does not make me a doctor your best bet is to speka to a doctor ordietician to ask for advice.

First off you should love yourself, everyone has flaws they are not comfortable with but the very thing you regard as a flaw someone else may regard as your crowning glory. there are men who like slim women and there are men who like more voluptuous women. Please don't change yourself solely on the basis of what a man wants. If he met you voluptuous and u did not gain or lose wait in all that time then what would be the problem after all he knew what he saw when he met you!

However, if you are overweight and you have personal problems with it then it is fine to want to try and lose weight. Then that is great. Afterall, there are main health benefits to be gained from losing weight depending on how overweight you are you may be adding comfort and an extra 10 years on your life!

If you are sure you need to lose weight for health reasons and your own emotional reasons then I will advise you. The reason I think it is important to be sure why you want to lose weight is because 1) it makes it easier and 2) you will be pleased with the end result afterall if you lose weight and end up with no breasts and booty your may be shocked some men seem to think you can choose where the weight drops off where in reality the areas they like the most (breast and botty) have higher fat contents and general metabolise the fat faster so your breast will go before your stomach. Your attractiveness may be questionned but if you are doing this for you, you will feel more attractive!

Simple Plan
1) Always have breakfast - the less people eat the more they tend to gain weight I am sure you have heard so many overweight people say 'I don't no why I am big I only eat 2 meals a day I don't even have breakfast' and you have heard them say about skinny people 'don't know why she is skinny she is always eating'. This leads me onto my second piece of advice,
2) Eat small meals regularly. The reason these two points help in most (although not all) cases, is of course medical. When you don't eat for prolonged periods of time (i.e. from 7pm the night before to 12pm the afternoon later - a whole 17 hours - almost a whole day of fasting) and you do this regularly, the body believes it is undergoing starvation - now some people thought this would make the body break down the fat that was already their - not true - instead when you do eat it makes sure it prepares itself for another starvation period by absorbing more fat and carbs from a given meal than it would had it not been in 'panic mode'. It would only break down fat after real prolonged starvation i.e. week or month and even then again it would make up for lost time. To cap this off people who miss breakfast or have few meals often give themselves larger portions than those who eat regular portions.

Example diet plan
1) Breakfast 6-10pm - Cereal or something that is low fat (no toast, eggs, sausage etc nothing heavy) preferably with soya milk or semi-skimmed milk. Not sure if u are in Naija or not. Pap may be good (that maize thing).
2) Mid afternoon snack/brunch at say 12/1pm - again something light - fruits, salads etc with a medium sized health food i.e. fish, chicken that is not fried or coated in oil or batter etc
3) Lunch at say 3/4pm - Something slightly heavier than brunch i.e. a rice, plantain, pasta, akara, beans or yam meal (grilled yam only not fried yam). All the food should be on one plate with the rice, pasta, or yam taking up half leaving not much room for the rest (I don't condone atkins as a long term healthy diet). If you want pounded yam or fufu the whole fufu should be the size of 1.5 or two fists. If you are having soup with it then the amount you should have should depend on the oil in it - try and have as little oil as possible. If it has oil you can see only have enough to finish the fufu and not an ounce more. If it is a vegetable filled practically oil free soup/stew then you can have more - even consider having the soup by itself (okoro stew with lots of vegetable is nice).
4) Dinner 6/7pm - something extremely light if you are in Nigeria (but if u live in England then this can be your heaviest meal instead of the previous one). For instance bread and cocoa/tea.

I guarantee you will not even eat so much bceause you are eating regularly IF YOU don't eat until you are full i.e. stuffed can't take another bite etc.
Instead eat until you are not hungry this can be hard to separate from being full and is easier to separate the more you are able to do it. Perhaps use lack of stomach grumbling/crunching to help. Another neat trick is to have a glass of water whilst you eat. Sometimes we feel hungry when our bodies are really just thirsty. Also it helps you feel fuller quicker and you are less likely to overeat.
There are many reasons someone can be overweight: medical issues, overeating, not eating the right thing. Exercise will play an important role in reshaping your body as well so I suggest you go join a gym also or else practise running. Not really sure why you are overweight which is why I suggest you visit a doctor. but hopefully these tips will help. REMEMBER smaller, healthier, regularly dispersed meals. I hope this helps but remember I don't know your particulars it might help others to advise you if u gave examples of what you do or don't do to lose weight. Remember a dietician/doctor is likely to offer the best advice though.

sorry they have mentors for different sectors on that site also (Move back Club).

Here is a site for some jobs that I saw posted elsewhere on nairaland:

http://jobsearchnigeria..com/

Here is a website that can help you move back to nigeria, they seem legitimate. Hope this helps, good luck girl, I have the same aspirations as you do but my course is longer and I have many plans that need me to get some cash under my belt also! Think you wanting to return is great - remember keep yo8ur eyes and mind open!

http://www.es-africa.com/job_search_results.asp?jobtype=full-time&industry=64%3A%3ABanking+%26+Finance&country_id=159%3A%3ANigeria&keyword=&Submit2=Submit

Also it would be nice if people who relocated to or are thinking of relocating to Naija post on this topic I created:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=31591.msg721812#msg721812

Ify's Story


I worked for a small sized project management consultancy firm in the UK as a strategic and financial consultant. I worked there for three years post my second degree and I enjoyed it; well at least up until January 2002. During those three years I acquired an innumerable amount of skills and I knew I was an asset to my colleagues and the organization at large. I had put in time and considerable effort and in January 2002 I decided it was time to receive my dues in the way of an attractive pay rise commensurate to my growth and contributions to the firm. I was 25, with two degrees from highly prestigious universities (University of Bristol and Kings College London), intelligent, sociable, yes I was black but I did not perceive this latter attribute as a barrier.

The reality though was that it was, as long as I remained in the UK I was considered a second-class citizen. My requests and contributions were appreciated but not considered as important as the next first class citizen. It would take me longer to achieve as much as the next person who possessed lesser skills than I did. Ultimately there was a ceiling on my achievements and I could not run away from that. I came to realise bitterly that I could only go so far in the UK. I could have decided of course to play the race card and fight for racial equality and affirmative action. I mean I had seen many Indian individuals do it and succeed but alas it went against my moral upbringing! If I was to be recognized it could not be on the race card for race was not a skill.

This realization led me to look further a field for other job opportunities. My siblings were in the United States and I toyed with that idea briefly but discarded it soon after. America was not for me I decided. Instead I started looking at Nigeria, Africa, my home. I convinced myself that it was only in this continent that the sky would be my true limit. I went for a job fair where a number of multinationals came to the UK yearly specifically to look for interested African employees (both graduates and young professionals) to work in their home countries. After a series of interviews I had two job offers, one from a Brewing company and the second from an Oil and Gas company.

On my application form, I actually specified November 2003 as the period I would be available for employment, however the offers that came through were for immediate start that is in 2002. One thing led to another and I made the move back home in November 2002. I resigned from my small consultancy firm, had my farewell parties, did my Lagos shopping, relocated on a Saturday and started work on a Monday (My second mistake - I jumped right into my new life without giving myself time to adjust and transit).

It was a total and utter culture and professional shock. On starting my new job, I realized I had been foolhardy in trying to negotiate and clarify the terms of my employment from the UK (My first mistake). I did not ask the right questions nor did I make sufficient enquiries. I accepted the offer from the Brewing company, after one trip to Lagos to see the Human Resource Director. They actually employed three of us, three girls, under a programme referred to as Young African Talents. We were employed on a platform of change, change agents bringing a breath of fresh air into the company with our different professional and academic backgrounds with vast opportunities for international exposure and growth. Sounds great hey! Well when we arrived we were astounded when we realized that the programme was actually a graduate programme that did not take into consideration the fact that I was nowhere near graduate status. I was confused and angry, I felt as though I was moving backwards not forward as I had expected. In addition to this there was the dreaded NYSC debate. I left Nigeria at the age of 16, after my stint at Queens College, I obviously had not served so I was in effect a corper to be paid by law a meager corpers allowance.

Not only was I mentally fraught, my new employer had an induction programme the first two weeks which attached you to the customer service department and the guys who actually go out into the field to sell their products. Now the company’s products are beer and the field comprises of market places and beer parlours. On one sunny day I made my third mistake, I ate with one of the sales rep in a dodgy looking canteen out of sheer hunger. The next morning my body was also fraught. I spent the whole morning in the bathroom suffering from the pains of bad food. It was until I familiarized myself with Immoduim, (now a trustworthy friend) that I got better and felt I could face the world.

After a series of battles and long drawn out discussions, a compromise position was offered to me on my two issues but as far I was concerned it was not good enough. I started looking at other companies and I managed to get an offer from a small consultancy firm that reminded me of my old firm. This time round I asked all the right Nigerian questions. I was happy, I resigned.

Now a lot of people within the company did not believe we (that is the three girls employed) would stay. The Young African Talent programme had not been a very successful one in the past and they perceived us as brats. We complained too much, were not willing to blend into the system. What they did not realize was that we were employed on a platform of difference so blending in was not an option. My resignation letter thus went into the details of my actions. It was a one-page attestation of what I believed was wrong with the system. I gave them 2 weeks notice (the contractual period) and circulated it around to the necessary people. The MD/CEO received a copy of my letter and called me to his office for a meeting. At my first meeting with this formidable man, he grilled me about my actions and the letter and I responded. I shared my past (education & professional exposure) with him, my aspirations and the reasons I left the UK. After a 2-hour session, he explained to me how he could not let me resign and how he would personally do everything he could to address my issues. He re-emphasized the notion of change and asked me to work with him to implement change in the company where necessary. He said that if the system could frustrate someone like myself (with my professional and academic background) out after only two months that there had to be something wrong with the system. After 2 weeks of negotiations and considerable to-ing and fro-ing, I decided to stay. I am still with them today.

I still fight battles every day, I am working for a big bureaucratic organization where each man guards each process in order for him to be king of one procedure, with powers to delay and frustrate. I have become more assertive and aggressive. I remind people of my intelligence and I demonstrate it whenever I can. I work hard but am not political about it. I do not stay in the office longer than I have to in order for people to recognize my work. I demonstrate my skills through the work I am given to do, the discussions I have with top management and the contributions I make.

It’s been a year since I made the decision to move back and I do not regret it. Working and living in Nigeria is an existence that is real and injects you with a newness of life every day. As you’re battling with okadas, traffic, LASTMA and the heat you feel alive here in a way you do not feel anywhere else in the world. Everything is possible here both the good and the bad, but it gives you hope because there is so much room for improvement. If you fight hard enough you can attain everything you want. It is a sea of endless opportunities. It’s worthwhile and I’m happy. Our generation are cursed (bear in mind though that by cursed I mean in the Chinese sense, where to lead an interesting life is a curse) we are impatient and in a hurry, we want things to happen now, today. It’s what we are used to; patience however is a necessary attribute to have.

Patience that is not compliance! I tell myself everyday that the second I become compliant is the day I will need to go back to the UK. The day when I accept things as they are not as they should be is when I know that there is no longer hope for us returnees in Nigeria. Till that day I will remain fighting for what I believe in, knowing that I am making a difference in my only little way and that it this is my home!

(by Ify, Marketing, 2003)

Ndidi's Story


If you had asked me during my senior year at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania whether or not I planned on returning to Nigeria upon graduation, I would have responded with a clear “NO.” Given the immense hardships in Nigeria under the Abacha regime, the country’s future looked bleak. Even my parents, who often are so optimistic about Africa, could not imagine that any attractive opportunities existed for me in the Nigerian business landscape. In addition, I had an exciting offer from McKinsey & Co. and was looking forward to starting work in their Chicago office. However, a surprise offer from a start-up company, whose management still cannot explain how they got a hold of my resume, sealed my fate. My six-week internship experience, during the summer of 1995, served as an introduction to the Nigerian corporate environment and gave birth to a fervent desire to return home.

This passion was fuelled by my exposure to the widespread poverty faced by countless Nigerians, the huge social and economic gaps created by our weak and ineffective private and public sectors, the stagnation of most of my peers from high school, and my strong belief that a few small contributions could make a tremendous impact on the lives of people. With each passing day, my burden for women and youth grew stronger, as did my interest in the nonprofit sector and my conviction that promoting entrepreneurship in Nigeria, and indeed Africa, was critical to the Continent’s sustainable development.

Over the next several years, and after a short-term transfer to the Johannesburg Office of McKinsey, and a stint as a consultant with an International non for profit foundation’s West African office, based in Lagos, I could not imagine life outside the Continent. Each experience proved more challenging and fulfilling than the other, and wetted my appetite for more!

Overwhelmed by the prospects of repaying McKinsey for the salary advance that they had provided for me when I enrolled at HBS, I returned to the Chicago Office. However, restless and unfulfilled, I resigned in May 2000, and returned to Nigeria to serve as the pioneer executive director of a nonprofit organization Foundation in Nigeria committed to fostering business and entrepreneurial development among Nigerian youth. Moving home and starting an organization in Lagos was no easy feat. Despite the numerous challenges that each day presented, I felt an inordinate amount of personal and professional satisfaction from my work! Today, this foundation operates offices in two of Nigeria’s major cities, has served over 400 Nigerian youth through a program of Entrepreneurship and over 5,000 Nigerians through its ancillary services. The organization has received numerous international awards, including the recognition as one of the winners of the 2002 World Bank Development Marketplace Competition.

The wonderful support that I received from Nigerians and friends of Nigeria residing in the United States during my first few months at this organisation revealed the need for a an office in the US. I envisioned that this organization would serve as a credible channel through which resources, information and management support would flow from the U.S. to support entrepreneurial efforts in Nigeria. The US office received its 501(C)3 status in January 2002. Through its Boston office and the amazing support of committed Board members and liaisons, it continues to -send business text books to Nigeria, match students in the U.S. with suitable internships in Nigeria, and to operate an E-based Mentor-Match Program.

In December 2001, I resigned from this foundation (I currently serve as a board member) and relocated to the United States, to join my husband while he completed his MBA at HBS. During this time, I developed a vision for another nonprofit organization committed to inspiring, empowering and equipping a new cadre of African leaders by providing leadership training and executive coaching for entrepreneurs and youth and by conducting leadership research. Since its inception, it has successfully participated in a range of capacity building efforts for entrepreneurs and young leaders in Africa through projects for the World Bank, the International Finance Corporation in Rwanda and the Harvard Business School. In the past few months, the organisation has formally launched its Leadership Institutes in Nigeria, through a generous grant from the another foundation and hopes to impact the lives of entrepreneurs and youth across the country in 2004 and the Continent in future years.

More recently, in collaboration with my mother, I have also launched an organization committed to helping female university students residing in Southeastern Nigeria to achieve their highest potential. Through the support of the Global Fund for Women, the Association of Women’s Rights in Development and the Open Society Institute of West Africa, this organization has begun to have tremendous impact of the lives of young Igbo women through its roving movie series, leadership institutes, one-on-one coaching sessions and career workshops.

Given my roles as a new mother and a social entrepreneur, who happens to reside in Lagos (one of the most erratic cities in the world), there is never a dull moment in my life. During my most trying moments, I sometimes question my rationale for opting for a career in the Nigerian nonprofit sector. However, I must confess that the emotional and spiritual fulfillment that I have received from heeding God’s call for my life has been absolutely priceless, a decision that I would take over and over again. In deed, I am privileged to have a faithful and gracious God, a very caring and supportive husband, doting parents, fantastic siblings, great mentors and loyal friends. They all inspire and challenge me on a daily basis, as I strive to make a small difference on the African Continent.

By Ndidi, Non Profit

JUST WAN'T TO POST SOME STORIES FOR THOSE PLANNING OR CONSIDERING MOVING BACK TO NAIJA. FOUND THIS SITE ONLINE AND THEY HELP PEOPLE RELOCATE THERE ARE ALOT OF STORIES TOO. I AM NOT INVOLVED IN THIS ORGANISATION OR ANYTHING BUT IT SEEMS LEGITIMATE. JUST GONNA POST SOME PEOPLE'S STORIES HERE FIND THE REST ON THE SITE (http://www.es-africa.com/).

Ohi's Story (http://www.es-africa.com/morestories.asp?action=article&id=11)


I left Nigeria in a hurry. Not because I was running away but because the opportunity to leave came very suddenly. I was about half way through my course in the University of Ibadan, sitting at home on one of those long strikes when a friend suggested I explored schooling abroad. A few weeks, and many expensive phone calls later, I was on my way to a sleepy university town in the UK, recommended by my head of department. It was a miracle that even in the midst of a strike, I was able to get my transcript and a covering letter within two days and without parting with a kobo. Just goes to show that the system can and does sometimes work. It was easy to go, but hard to leave in a way. The experience was different from the times I had been on holiday, but I was finally going to do a course that was more practical than the almost purely theory based education I had been getting. It was an adventure, so like the hobbit, I took up my gear and the sheets of prayers my mom thrust in my hands and off I went.

I had an interesting time in the UK. There were of course many things that one couldn¡¦t do and get at home which I enjoyed. But more than anything, it confirmed to me that people make a system, and that their attitudes and values have more to do with its success than anything else. Why do I say so? For one thing, whilst there was the normal quota of guys doing their best to reinforce the anecdotal stereotypes of Nigerians, there were many more who just decided. They just decided to do it; to put their heads down and work and play and travel and party as hard as anyone else in the world. Academically, most of those who didn¡¦t get caught up with the distractions of the city lights were at the top of their class. So the confidence my parents had gently instilled in me, that we were no different, no better, no worse than any people anywhere in the world, was reinforced. There is no lacking gene, just a different mindset that separates us.

It wasn¡¦t so easy getting adjusted though. I arrived 5 weeks into the school term in the middle of a cold November, was in a town where there was no home food, and there were no other Nigerians in the school! The last shock turned out to be a blessing as it forced me to become immersed in another culture, and not just surround myself with familiar things in a strange land. There were things that I discovered on my travels (the UK being such a great hub for the budget jetsetter) that I took on board as good, and flagged as undesirable things I did not want to see in my homeland. It also made even more glaring the things that make us seem to crawl and not walk like those around us.

After all the studying was done, I made a half hearted attempt to apply for jobs in the UK. I had just finished an MBA, and at the time the market was resistant to foreign hires, not as pliant as it is now with the various migrant schemes. Also the only other English speaking haven, America, needed you to sign away your life and be caged in the albeit large expanse of those united states for a few years. This and a quite prodding, coupled with the weariness of living a somewhat nomadic experience made me look homeward. My whole family was in Nigeria and I wanted to catch up with them again after four years. I had been going back home at least once a year, so I was as comfortable there as in the UK. I was also keen to cut my teeth in the engineering world, and there was and interesting ¡¥world class¡¦ experiment going on back home. So I sent in my CV and got interviewed in the UK, finalizing my employment in Nigeria.

My main worry was having to while away the first year doing youth service. Fortunately, back then I was swimming against the tide (notice the cheeky dig at the newcomersƒº) so employers were open to allowing one fulfill the obligation to the government, whilst taking you on as staff. At that time, it wasn¡¦t against the rules to do so, though I hear that things are different now.

Another concern was being stifled in the system and not being able to develop my skills at a level consistent with the developed world. Again, God smiled on me, as the project was a truly international one, and being cocooned in a little island off the coast of Port Harcourt afforded a buffer that allowed us to create our own little world. This was a place where one believed things could work, and this encouraged us to work without a mindset of total futility. And things did work. There were the usual frustrations, especially those that come with working in an expatriate dominated environment, but I felt a disproportionate amount of energy was spent griping. Whilst a lot of the reasons for undermining the local staff were mere propaganda, the fact still remained there were gaps that needed to be filled to allow one stake a claim for competence. It wasn¡¦t anything magical. There was of course strong incentive for the expatriate staff to preserve the myth of ¡¥expatriate¡¦ being a synonym for ¡¥expert¡¦.

I found that without an inferiority complex one could get a lot further, and that if one stopped talking and kept getting the magical experience that kept us locked out of the key meetings and discussions, your work showed for itself. Even if advancement didn¡¦t come from the organization one was with, I realized there is nothing more valuable that the skills and knowledge one has and the competence to deliver to customer and create wealth. This was something not everyone appreciated. Unfortunately, the mismanagement, abuse and media propaganda that we have experienced have blinded us to our self worth. There is a tangible belief by much too many that things just have to be different in Nigeria. I saw it in the way people triple checked everything I said before daring to believe I could be right, and how some joker could be sitting across the table talking absolute horse manure and their words would be taken as gospel because he didn¡¦t own a green passport. I saw it in the way the security guys check me, but waved the car behind me on. Thankfully, I had a clear focus, and since there was nothing much else to do I threw myself into the work and the seemingly impossible task of actually making a difference in the organization by the way I worked. I tried not to treat people with the same preferential treatment they showed me, me being on the lower end of the food chain of course for being both young and Nigerian. I kept working and learning and trying to block out the noise that told me that things could never work. Did things work out for most people I met there? Not for all, but there were a few of my colleagues that had caught the bug, and who realized that the real value was in the experience that we were gaining and not just a paycheck, and hanging around them made things more bearable. I found there is still too much of a colonial mentality kicking around. The most interesting thing is this is not a function of living/schooling abroad or not, as I find people who have never set foot out of country who get it, and those who have never lived in-country who don¡¦t. If anything, I prefer to tell people I schooled in Ibadan, especially foreigners as they nod knowingly as if to say you could only be that way because you were lucky enough to be molded by their institution. In fact, the most pivotal statement in my educational life (¡¥read to understand, not just to pass exams) came from a Nigerian lecturer. These were things I knew before I left our shores, things my parents instilled by example.

If there was ever a statement that made me want to put some serious hurt on someone was for them to say that things would fall apart if a Nigerian was running my company. They don¡¦t even say present company excluded! That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard and it tells me that for all the education we receive, there isn¡¦t that much enlightenment. It is at par with saying Columbus discovered America or Mungo Park the River Niger. There is a lot of ignorance on both sides of the world economic divide, the difference being they think they can and we can¡¦t and we think they can and we can¡¦t, so they do and we don¡¦t achieve. When the telecoms boom was going to take off, many around me said it would never work. This was Nigeria after all. I stood in amazement, wondering at what level of ignorance could make them think that those who were investing billions of hard earn dollars into a venture had embarked on it without doing their homework! Therein lies the malaise. We believe that things won¡¦t work, so if the builder doesn¡¦t give us a straight wall we shrug and still pay him his full wages. By not being a demanding customer, we rob him of the chance or raising his level of quality and learning something new. I recently showed my mother¡¦s veteran gardener how to get a straight line by tying some rope between two sticks. You should see his hedges now. Last time I was home, my mom was almost bamboozled into buying a brand new water pump, but after checking it out I found it had bad bearings and got it fixed for a fraction of the cost. Were these people stupid or sinister. No, just unaware.

Personally, I don¡¦t think that moving back is for everyone. There are those whose whole family relies on the paycheck they get abroad, so there is a great incentive not to move back. There are others that cannot seem to believe they survived Nigeria and never see themselves going to that ¡¥jungle¡¦. I don¡¦t think that moving back is for them either, but I would like to remind their fake behinds about the times that we slept on springs and washed toilets in boarding school. Not saying it was ideal, or that I require my kids to go through this, but we still had fun through it all and at least it thought us, some of us at least, that we aren¡¦t too big for anything. For one thing it has helped me not to look down or anyone, a quality that I definitely want my kids to imbibe.

But there are a few who make the choice and decide to come home. Now there are a lot of ills in the society, but there is also a lot of potential here. Nigeria is one of the last frontiers. It is the wild wild west of Africa. We have a market of 130 million and fortunes still sitting in the ground. For those who decide to come home, who feel constrained by the limits of being in diaspora or are looking for an opportunity to shape the landscape of a nation, this could be the long term holiday destination of choice.

Be warned though, it is not a quick fix. It is not going to be possible for us to change the sea and air ports, the hygiene of Lagosians or the frustrations of the Cotonou boarder in the second year of our return. This is a mid to long term project peeps, so you just have to keep at it. I feel the best way to ¡¥make a difference¡¦ is to make a truck load of money and do it the right way. Do something productive and value adding: a venture that doesn¡¦t involve oil and gas and government contract. What I think is missing in the country are a few progressive minded people each worth a billion dollars or more: people who will put their vision and passion and the right values into their organizations. Who by the sheer effectiveness, efficiency, quality and value for money would blow all the other jokers out of the market and take on world. Who would have the ear of the government because they make up 10% of the GDP and employ 30% of the professional workforce. That¡¦s what we need. Maybe one day one of those guys would run for president, but if you had serious minded people controlling the economy, who need things to work better to aid them, and who had their own wealth (not just foreign shareholding) at stake, the pressure for change would be better.

If you think this is all pie in the sky check this. Our GDP is about $40 billion, (absolute, PPP adjusted about 100 billion) with oil related proceeds making up the lion share of this. If you could take $1 (=N=140) from every man woman and child in the country you would contribute to 0.3% of our GDP.

For me, coming home was the right decision. I love traveling so the rest of the world never seems too far from me, but my base is still Nigeria. I¡¦m thrilled whenever I hear people who chose to come home, cos then the community grows bigger. We do have ills, but there are usually socio-economic factors that drive them, not an inherent laziness or corruption. So make your choice. If you choose not to come home, then be the best ambassador that you can be, don¡¦t slag off the country at every opportunity, show your kids and the world the best of the culture and drop the worst. And oh, call mom once a week, everyone has a phone now so excuses!

By the way, if you do chose to comeback, remember: the target is 1 billion dollars, US. (by Ohi, Oil and Gas)

Ndidi's Story


If you had asked me during my senior year at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania whether or not I planned on returning to Nigeria upon graduation, I would have responded with a clear “NO.” Given the immense hardships in Nigeria under the Abacha regime, the country’s future looked bleak. Even my parents, who often are so optimistic about Africa, could not imagine that any attractive opportunities existed for me in the Nigerian business landscape. In addition, I had an exciting offer from McKinsey & Co. and was looking forward to starting work in their Chicago office. However, a surprise offer from a start-up company, whose management still cannot explain how they got a hold of my resume, sealed my fate. My six-week internship experience, during the summer of 1995, served as an introduction to the Nigerian corporate environment and gave birth to a fervent desire to return home.

This passion was fuelled by my exposure to the widespread poverty faced by countless Nigerians, the huge social and economic gaps created by our weak and ineffective private and public sectors, the stagnation of most of my peers from high school, and my strong belief that a few small contributions could make a tremendous impact on the lives of people. With each passing day, my burden for women and youth grew stronger, as did my interest in the nonprofit sector and my conviction that promoting entrepreneurship in Nigeria, and indeed Africa, was critical to the Continent’s sustainable development.

Over the next several years, and after a short-term transfer to the Johannesburg Office of McKinsey, and a stint as a consultant with an International non for profit foundation’s West African office, based in Lagos, I could not imagine life outside the Continent. Each experience proved more challenging and fulfilling than the other, and wetted my appetite for more!

Overwhelmed by the prospects of repaying McKinsey for the salary advance that they had provided for me when I enrolled at HBS, I returned to the Chicago Office. However, restless and unfulfilled, I resigned in May 2000, and returned to Nigeria to serve as the pioneer executive director of a nonprofit organization Foundation in Nigeria committed to fostering business and entrepreneurial development among Nigerian youth. Moving home and starting an organization in Lagos was no easy feat. Despite the numerous challenges that each day presented, I felt an inordinate amount of personal and professional satisfaction from my work! Today, this foundation operates offices in two of Nigeria’s major cities, has served over 400 Nigerian youth through a program of Entrepreneurship and over 5,000 Nigerians through its ancillary services. The organization has received numerous international awards, including the recognition as one of the winners of the 2002 World Bank Development Marketplace Competition.

The wonderful support that I received from Nigerians and friends of Nigeria residing in the United States during my first few months at this organisation revealed the need for a an office in the US. I envisioned that this organization would serve as a credible channel through which resources, information and management support would flow from the U.S. to support entrepreneurial efforts in Nigeria. The US office received its 501(C)3 status in January 2002. Through its Boston office and the amazing support of committed Board members and liaisons, it continues to -send business text books to Nigeria, match students in the U.S. with suitable internships in Nigeria, and to operate an E-based Mentor-Match Program.

In December 2001, I resigned from this foundation (I currently serve as a board member) and relocated to the United States, to join my husband while he completed his MBA at HBS. During this time, I developed a vision for another nonprofit organization committed to inspiring, empowering and equipping a new cadre of African leaders by providing leadership training and executive coaching for entrepreneurs and youth and by conducting leadership research. Since its inception, it has successfully participated in a range of capacity building efforts for entrepreneurs and young leaders in Africa through projects for the World Bank, the International Finance Corporation in Rwanda and the Harvard Business School. In the past few months, the organisation has formally launched its Leadership Institutes in Nigeria, through a generous grant from the another foundation and hopes to impact the lives of entrepreneurs and youth across the country in 2004 and the Continent in future years.

More recently, in collaboration with my mother, I have also launched an organization committed to helping female university students residing in Southeastern Nigeria to achieve their highest potential. Through the support of the Global Fund for Women, the Association of Women’s Rights in Development and the Open Society Institute of West Africa, this organization has begun to have tremendous impact of the lives of young Igbo women through its roving movie series, leadership institutes, one-on-one coaching sessions and career workshops.

Given my roles as a new mother and a social entrepreneur, who happens to reside in Lagos (one of the most erratic cities in the world), there is never a dull moment in my life. During my most trying moments, I sometimes question my rationale for opting for a career in the Nigerian nonprofit sector. However, I must confess that the emotional and spiritual fulfillment that I have received from heeding God’s call for my life has been absolutely priceless, a decision that I would take over and over again. In deed, I am privileged to have a faithful and gracious God, a very caring and supportive husband, doting parents, fantastic siblings, great mentors and loyal friends. They all inspire and challenge me on a daily basis, as I strive to make a small difference on the African Continent.

By Ndidi, Non Profit


http://www.es-africa.com/morestories.asp?action=article&id=12

ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN CHRIST SHOULD UNITE AND THINK ABOUT HELPING THEIR FELLOW MAN, PREACHING AND CONVERTING MEANS NOTHING IF YOU CANNOT DO THESE THINGS.

1 Peter 4:8
“But before all things have a mutual charity among yourselves: for charity covereth a multitude of sins.”

Matthew 7:18-23
Jesus said “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit . . . Therefore by their fruits you will know them. Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord” shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but who does the will of my father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord have we not prophesised in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’” And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.”

Matthew 25:34-46
Jesus said “Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world . . . Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry, and you gave me not to eat: I was thirsty, and you gave me not to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me not in: naked, and you covered me not: sick and in prison, and you did not visit me. Then they will also answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee? Then he shall answer them, saying: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to me. . . “

CAN YOU PEOPLE STOP! ALL THESE ARGUMENTS ARE IN VAIN IF YOU DON'T KNOW CHARITY AND TREAT YOUR FELLOW MAN WITH COMPASSION.

1 Peter 4:8
“But before all things have a mutual charity among yourselves: for charity covereth a multitude of sins.”

Matthew 7:18-23
Jesus said “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit . . . Therefore by their fruits you will know them. Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord” shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but who does the will of my father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord have we not prophesised in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’” And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.”

Matthew 25:34-46
Jesus said “Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world . . . Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry, and you gave me not to eat: I was thirsty, and you gave me not to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me not in: naked, and you covered me not: sick and in prison, and you did not visit me. Then they will also answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee? Then he shall answer them, saying: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to me. . . “

Sorry oh, I have been posting since without introducing myself (how rude), did not know there was a post dedicated to introduction. Anywayz, guees I am still new compared to some so hello Nairaland users - happy to be a member. Seun I salute you!

I didn't miss that, it made me laugh, I just assumed it was an ugly/loose/drunk girl who chased him and led him (willingly of course) to the bed room. Then left him the next day or vice versa.

harvey:
ell 77.u see man when people begin to get scared of females they just get close to males because there will be no rejection with them and before u know it they start liking the male.but trust me its the fact.

If this is all it takes for a red-blooded male to turn gay - God help humanity! Don't think it is that simple but I believe it may be true for a couple of peeps I guess.

[quote author=star_gates link=topic=31118.msg715727#msg715727 date=1164192364]@ell77
Thanks for this advice, I think its going to work out for me, I am not very social which is also part of my problems, I am thinking if I could get drunk a bit before embarking on this, What do you think please?

@harvey
Thanks man!, I think what you have said is somehow true, but I will rather remain lonely in life than to become gay, its a personal decision, this may sound foolish, I completely don't know how to go about beulding this self confidence for me to be able to approach a girl. CAN I GET DRUNK? might help in away,[/quote]HELL NO Star_Gates, I am glad if my advice is helpful but drink doe snot give confidence it only releases you inhibitions the two may sound similar but they are not even close. Confidence is loving yourself and having faith in yourself knowing that you are a good catch and that if someone does not like you it is their loss, it is knowing that yes you do have faults and are not perfect and knowing that everyone has faults and yours are no worse than the next guy, get this into your head first. Being drunk only releases your inhibitons and clouds your mind, it makes you think no one will turn you down which is obviously not true for anyone so when you approach a girl when you are drunk you will be more likely to get more emotional when she says no (i.e. violent, cry). Also you may approach a girl who is not on your level cos your judgement is clouded (as in you may approach a prostitute! - you said you were looking for a girlfriend not a one night stand!). Another thing is for me, and alot of girls I know alchohol is a big turn off, if I even smell alcohol on a guy I immediately move away or else I turn up my nose in disgust (I actually can't help it - but I am not alone). SO DON'T USE ALCOHOL TO BRING CONFIDENCE IT WON'T WORK!

Just suck it up and move to a girl with a friendly smile - not a cocky inyour face attitude think of the person as a long lost friend, or act like you are in an interview situation. Body language is important in interviews the same might apply in real life i.e. don't stand too close or to far (lets say an arms length away you may get closer if her eyes or behaviour tells you she is interested or flirting), don't fold your arms or raise your hands up in the air, (don't put your hands on your waist - bit gay to me), stand up straight, maybe one hand in your pocket, one hand at waist level for gestures. If you need to touvh her to get her attention, don't tap or thwack her and don't grab her just gently rest the tips of your fingers on her shoulder or forearm, whilst saying 'excuse me'. This way you look really confident, but not aggressive or disrespectful (as soon as she turns around remove your hand).

I can tell you how to look confident without looking cocky but not 100% sure how to make you feel confident. Try not to stutter or stammer when you speak but if you do, don't despair, because although some girls may not like that others may find it helplessly adorable ok?! The way you dress may help with your confidence. I know you are in Nigeria so 'apparently' girls like it when guys look like they have 'tasted' abroad i.e. Jeans, timberlands, T-shirt. However, to me, the best thing a man can do to make himself look on point is this:

- Wear a fitted black suit with a tie (if you don't wan't to wear a jacket, a crisp fitted white shirt will do no tie needed)
- Have a clean very low faded hair cut i.e. look at Pharrell, Usher, Jay-Z.
- Wear one watch on one hand (analogue not digital) and/or wear one silver thick chain bracelet (two different hands if wear both)
- Black polished closed-toe shoes (no sandals please) - with black socks

To me most men look good in this. It may bring you some confidence because automatically you will see girls start looking at you - probably wondering which bank or oil company you OWN. There is a saying 'Clothes don't make the man' - it is true but clothes represent the man to me! Good luck.

Oh yeah if you have a beard shave it off unless it is a clean crisp cut. Hope this helps with you - about the confidence thing, not really sure, maybe have a theme tune in your head like Sean Paul 'Like Glue' lol - seriously it may help! Also go to more clubs and socialise.

What did someone say 15 for a girl? So how old should the man be that she marries 16? 35?

@harvey - lol is that how people become gay! ROFLMAO

Anywayz, Star_gates, I am not sure if I am the best person to advise you because I am not sure of girls in Lagos, but I guess Naija women in UK can react similar anyway. Harvey, is right you do have to build up confidence, afterall you have some things going for you, not everyone can be your type so don't expect to be everyone's type. As long as you are not to cocky but display confidence you should be fine u will get rejections but just figure it is there loss, or that u used the wrong approach and learn from your mistakes (trial and error). Maybe you can start off with someone you have never met so u never have to see them again if they reject u.

Try looking straight in their eyes (no chest or booty oh!): "Excuse me, I saw you standing there and I was drawn to you, you have a certain air about you that stands out in the crowd and your really pretty, do you know that?"

She may at this point laugh, smile, kiss her teeth or ignore you. None of these is actually a rejection yet (even a kiss of the teeth or silent treatment can soon turn around) continue . . .

"Well, I don't really want to bug you but I could not let you slip by without taking a c hance and asking you if you could give me the honour of getting to know you, I am an honest, open, and caring person and just think you seem like someone worth caring about, I'd like to treat you to an evening out, atleast we can be friends if nothing else, so how's about it?"

If she agrees ask her for her number then give her yours also, make sure you get her number oh, persist and if possible arrange a time to call (gets rid of awkward waiting period for 'when to call a girl back' issue).

If unfortunately she says no, and so what? Anyway just for future reference ask her 'do you have a man? is it something I said?' If the answer is no don't ask for more explanation, there is no point. Simply say, "well thanks for giving me your time anyway, I am sorry if I embarassed or disturbed you, just saw you standing there alone and felt this was an opportunity not to be missed, so even friendship is a no?"

At this point she may even turn around hey. But if not move on. Your love may be around the corner! Hope this helps, I am a female anyway so this is what is endearing to me though admittedly I am not up to date with all the chat up lines but honesty always gets me - well whne it is positive anyway. For the record telling a girl she is sexy to some is insulting, telling a girl she is the most beautiful girl you have ever seen often sounds far-fetched but telling her she stands out, pretty, attractive etc (moderate praise) is generically more excepted.

romeo:
i know many families only eat chicken in naija on the christmas day, do we have milk? we only have evaporated and condensed milk!! no fresh milk and many people in naija doesn't know what a fresh milk looks like, people eat cow skin in naija because they can not afford to buy a good meat. you are all living in the cities, go to the villages and see how poor people are eating there, we don't have food in Nigeria period. people eat very bad diet in naija,


we need some fresh milk in Nigeria please!!!!!

They only eat chicken on Christmas day, and so?? Is chicken everything? I don't eat chiken here in England. As for milk an astonishingly high number of black people, particularly Africans are lactose intolerant and having fresh milk would cause diarrhoea. They do have milk in Naija though - evarporated is more common than fresh because of Nepa the milk would go off. To me Soya milk is alot healthier and so i don't drink fesh milk unless it is unavoidable. Personally I prefer the food in Naija - yes it is true they have less variety in terms of processed foods, but processed food are what kill people overseas. In fact if not for high salt content (and sometimes fat in goat meat), Nigerians don't realise they are eating some of the healthiest food in the world. Atleast when Nigerians see rotten food they know it is rotten and can throw it or cut off the bad parts. Here we eat diseased chikens that are pumped with antibiotics and even cancer producing chemicals thinking we are nourishing ourselves. The average black man here relishes reaching 70, my gradpa in Naija died aged 86 I know someone whose grandpa died aged over 100!

Also - cow skin is that not ponmo? It tastes nice, I even eat it here in London at times (although not healthy) it is a delicacy so don't pity them for eating it, it is u dat is missing out!

@POSTER - ARE U A COMEDIAN? (if so i think u should explore other avenues u know - just in case this dont work out)

I hope u are a comedian - he is an idiot, he can barely run America and u want him to come and run a complicated country like Naija, first off he would need to know about Nigeria and its problems which I am sure he does not and would need to care about Naija - again sure he doesn't - he will just collect our oil and go! nonsense

Well if this is the case true true, I will only go to Naija for holidays! Why will any1 come back to Nigeria to try and develop their country if these are the arguments being presented against Naija. Me I understand Naija is hard but people survive there still! Every country has their downside and NAIJA HAS A MULTITUDE but if people can't supply good reasons to go back to Naija of course the country will only get worse - do u know most of the black people abroad who are successful or in uni are Nigerians - all the brain power we have, we use to build another mans economy. I am not condemning anyone, people must look after their own well-being afterall the president will not remember to thank me for coming back home if I die of malaria or dehyration self. But my own opinion is Naija can be what u make it especially if we all go back together and don't prevent each other from developing. I think there are opportunities in Naija for business men though as long as u have patients and stamina u could stand to gain millions how many years ahead we are abroad can help not only give back to Naija but have ur own enterprise. Look at Glo-com and MTN how many years had mobile phone networks been in existence abroad before these companies started. Now the owners and their children are almost royalty. My own idea is for everyone to come abroad gain degree, ideas, money go home and make more money and invest in community. We can change Naija one person at a time 'cos if we wait for president it willl never pass.

I don't think it is by force though to go back to Naija if u like stay there ur whole life but I just think people don't see the opportunities for a good life in Naija. Doctors and nurses start ur own hospitals, finance graduates start ur own banks and investment startegies! C'mon (roots alone for Naija). Wherever u go for holiday u start to feel bored after a month if u are playing no active part i.e. working or schooling. My uncle when he came here he ran on his way back he flew!
However