₦airaland Forum

Cheii !! Mr. Turkey you no go bury because titto don already kill me!!

Una go make person start to carry dictionary dey log in to nairaland. Which kind problem be dis??

@ manmustwac

Are u high??

Mesmerize:
Is Nigeria naming a road after this dude? Idiots!
Someone plz remind me what Jay Z ever did for Nigeria. .



If my assumption is wrong, forgive moi!

Wrong what?? You see the amazing foolishness of our leaders. If Osama bin Laden came to Nigeria tomorrow, they'll rename Murtala Mohammed Airport after him. If Neyo visits abuja, they'll probably name the National assembly after him. And just wait till beyonce visits the president, she'll be the face of the new 500Naira note

This Rule is not good for the following reasons;

First and foremost, we as Nigerians are crazy people. The smallest power you hand us and we think our new name is Peter Petrelli. Look at people already talking about arresting the Police, arresting university chicks for indecent exposure, e.t.c. Whats next?? Landlord will arrest his tennant who just bought a new CD player for disturbing the peace, wifes will arrest their husbands for suspicion of infidelity, Armed robbers will even start arresting house owners for illegal pessesion of a fire arm, children will even arrest their parents who sent them on an errand for child abuse. The chaos will be uncontrollable.

After the arrest is made where will they be detained?? Every lagosian will start carrying a pair of handcuffs around with them. Even street hawkers will start selling cuffs on the road.

but people look at falling as a sign that your prayers have been answered or that the prayer being prayed was for you, or that you have been touched by the spirit.

that stuff is a big deal cos this one time in church, everybody around me fell except me. I felt like the devil.

My regards to all my P-town peoples.

Wither!!

I had no idea that the Ph community on Nairaland was this big.

I dey hail sha!! Trans-Amadi representing.

Cheii!! I don die with laff no be small.

I know say you no suppose brush person wey don already dey ground. But make we reason am well sha, How this guy manage pass Common Entrance?? Because I know say them dey do letter writing as part of the exam. Ehn for even pity ehnself post ehn message in pidgin.




@ Poster

Oya make I encourage you. Go back to jss1 _{(if shame dey catch you as per say you don old, you fit go night school as per Nicodemus)} . Like oyinbo use talk am, it is never too late to learn.
Bros your grammar na ya wa. The only "couragement" you need na the courage to go start school again from elementary. Even my smally wey dey primary 4 no dey vandalise english the way wey you do.

Anyways all the best sha. Just rest your mind, take my advice and belive me when I say e go better. Your tori no be the worst.

Facebook vs. Nairaland??

I no know say them been dey quarrel o!!

But me sha I go support Nairaland. I stay true to our own.

_{Proudly Naija}

Wicked!

ROFLMFAO,

No wonder he couldnt win the election. Ehn think say ehn go fit use grammar confuse us.

@ Wifepalaver

Have you heard of an ass whooping??

When next she starts nagging you bout shit, just loosen your belt, lay her out and flog the devil out of her. Next time she starts nagging and you reach for your belt, she'll recognize whos boss and shut the Bleep up!!
If you are not a wife beater like myself, then the only other option is to go buy a dog _{(a very big a verocious dog preferably a rotweiller, doberman, mastif or pitbull)}. Anytime you feed the dog, make sure a picture of your wife is on plate of food. When next she pisses you off, set the dog loose on her ass. That will teach her to shut the heck up when you are around.
Or if you prefer the non-violent option, then I suggest you get yourself am MP3 player with an insanely loud earphone. Whnever she starts bitching, just put on the earphones and play your favorite tune.

Or just kick her out of the house and dont look back.

Greatest boxer my ass!!

R. Kelly is the world's greatest.

ibkaye:
yeesh, not all the time and not all, use the word 'some' so that is does not seem like you are generalizing

tope2000:
roflmao
why do nigerian guys feel like that??

So make una tell us now?? Because that exactly how I feel. Although I really dont give a hoot, I still tell my girlfriend anyways cause thats exactly how I feel.

brad:
your mama's so dumb she was there when Jesus walked on water, she said
"Damn! It must be the shoes"

your mama's so dumb, she got stabbed in a shootout

your mama's so skinny, she looks through a peephole with both eyes

your mama's so ugly, she went for an ugly pageant, they told her
"Sorry, no professionals, only amateurs, u ugly bitch"

DUDE!!

WTF pissed u off??

@ Topic

So they can laugh at us and call us mugus in their minds

Nwanna, Okwu ghi ku otor ka amu.

Ezigbo Ajuju ki ju. Nnem a'choghi e nu na m lu onye Abia, Ebonyi, Imo. Obu na orburo onye Anambra _{(ebe anyi)}, mo Enugu, ya bu kwa onye ocha.

Only christians can be logical indeed, look at Convenant University (Oyedepo) and tell me were you see logical reasoning.

In all my years of attending church, this "falling under the anointing" thing has always amazed me.

First of all, I have never fallen under no anointing.
Then there are this group of people who fall under the anointing every time the pastor moves, blinks or even farts.
I know of a man who got badly hurt after falling under the anointing from a very bad height.

I have come across documentaries and publications which have attributed this falling thing to hypnosis.

Hence my question, what is your take on this falling under the anointing stuff.

princesa:
virgins beget great childred i.e Jesus
so if you wana have a king as a child
then close those legs ^{(thats my thought)}

thats interesting.

Happy;

1. Parents of the Bride.
Reason; Their daughter has landed one rich mugu, their bank account is going to be fatter (Bride price), they now have a steady source of income (the daughters husband, Atleast their daughter after much how many men is finally leaving the house to get married, one less mouth to feed.

2. Guests.
Reason; the free soveniers, free drinks, free food, infact the free everything.

3. The Bride
Reason; I'm finally going to be bearing the much sort after title of Mrs., If her husband drops dead from a heart attack after the wedding, she could clean out all his wealth.

4. Sibblings of the bride
Reason; They now have a bank from which they can make a withdrawal even without having an account.

Sad

1. The Parents of the Groom
Reason; Why did their son have to marry this particular lady.

2. The Groom.
Reason; He believes he is making the biggest mistake of his life, he is about to give up his players license, he is about to take on more responsibility than he believes he can handle, the bills from the wedding which he has to pay, the queries he has to answer to every night from that day hence forth, the stress of in-laws, unborn childrens school fees, cost of maintaining his wife, e.t.c

But like studentetc said all covered behind superficial smiles. Say cheese

RedHotChic:
Lots of people complain these days that virgins are hard to find in adult women quite unlike the olden times. If virginity in women was common in the olden days, why did the bible stress on mary's virginity , applauded her virginity and symbolized it as a coveted prize and an important requirement for the birth of the  only  Saviour  of mankind, Jesus Christ? Wouldn't that mean that virginity in adult women was rare back then?

I think the virginity stuff was stressed to differenciate her from mary magdalene _{(the supposed shewe that jesus saved from being mobbed)}. So people no go misyarn say Jesus mumsy na   _{(say no evil).}

Wickedly sick, but downright funny.

@ Topics

The parents. Finally these liabilties are leaving the house. One less mouth to feed. Time to start get returns on their investments.

Mesmerize:
them dey name someone america? oga

You never hear names sef, One babe for my side name na Dubai. E get one sef wey dem suppose name sudan or rwanda _{(the pikin wurgly like winch)}. Me E be like say my son go be Czechoslovakia and my daughter fit be India.

I think Fani Kayode is telling the truth. On the fateful day Sosoliso crashed, Hogwarts students were having a quidditch match at the airport, and I think the plane was hit by a bludger that knocked it out of the sky. And Bellveiw's pilot was distracted by the snitch that he also crashed the plane.

What do these people take Nigerians for?? Look at the kind of rubbish we were subject to under Obasanjo?? And this is how he justifies the neglect that led to the death of kids who were returning from school?? Na wah!!

Tufiakwa!! What qualifications did this idiot have that made him the best candidate in our entire aviation industry to be made minister of aviation??

reindeer:
Finaly i am empowered to arrest policemen for collecting bribes in lagos now she?
can't wait to try my new power when i enter town!

Hope say your new powers come with insurance policy against death by gun shot wound??

TOH:
I take it marriage is not in the cards for you.

It is o!

Thats why I'm seriously milking my _balls cow now and preparing myself for the rainy days.