₦airaland Forum

I think they went to the wrongest kind of juju.

Their juju was not Y2K compliant. How do you imagine our local technology, which has been tried, tested and trusted will now start failing us. In my village, all native doctors must be registered with Native Doctor Practitioners Association of Nigeria {NDPAN}, and part of their rules are that no more negative juju. All charms must be for positive use only.
I suspect their juju delibrately worked against them cos they werent using it for good.

Afterall our local juju is still doing good things for our people like blood money, bleeping your enemies up, e.t.c.

For all those who are doubting the power of African Magic, I just pray you never have to face the wrath of Amadi Oha, Shango, and the rest of them.

_{That even reminds me, I need to renew the subscription on my protection charm.}

@ Topic

This is a result of what I've been saying ever since. Love has an expiration date, and for most marriages that date is after over 100 sex bouts, 3 - 8 Kids and co-existing for over 15 - 25 years.
At that point the only thing keeping them togerther is formality and lack of any other choice. It's almost like they cant stand the sight of each other.
So my advice is to milk the cow while you still can, cos a few years from now, that milk might just go sour. _{(and turn to yogourt)}

I am always depressed, and it has nothing to do with love.

Please define love?? I am dying to heard a definition of love that makes sense.

RedHotChic:
Don't dance around the question, i rephrased and said he's very very dude, has no sign of being feminine but had banged a high school buddy back in 1986. If you were married to him, had 2 kids with him before finding out, will you still keep this your "no, no and hell no" rule?

Once a fudge packer, always a gay.

onyinye2:
@ ess

You will never know true happiness
until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand
what pain really is
until you have lost it.

I have Loved _{(or what I tought was love),} I have lost it, I have hurt, and gone through the same cycle times without number and I can tell you it does not exist.

RedHotChic:
Guys: Will you date a red hot woman that has a deep voice, hairy chest(i heard chics with hairs on their chest are usually rough in bed) OR she told you she once tried sex with another girl  long time ago but quit because she never liked it.

Bleep NO!!

Hells No!!

NO bleeping way!!

Not even if I'm drunk or High on crack!!

Not even at gun point!!

Are you bleeping shitting me?? I can imagine her moaning with her deep bass voice in the night with the lights out while i'm hitting it from behind, then my arms running over her hairy chest. Damn!! That shit is down right gross!! _{* * PUKES * *}

Thats like banging a bloke in chicks skin. HELLS NO!!

How could you even think of such a thing?? _{* * More Puke * *}

Dr Kitaun:
wetin be this issue of u opening thread for July people, why u dey use panadol for them headache . . . am I missing sumtin' here ?

I been wan ask the same thing o!! but all these july children go say na bad belle dey do me.

Love is for suckers. Love does not exist, has no meaning and is just in the mind.

What women want is romance (according to my definition), fine face, fine body, cool tempered guy, pepper rested, funny, sabi Bleep like rabbit, get motor, go school, get sense, and be mugu for them. Chikina

I wan speak my mind o!!

No be lie say your profile pic resemble armed robber own, and for you profile, you write "Jesus in lord" abeg I neva hear that wan b4 o!

Wither sef?? wetin you say you don chicks in the past?? And how come you don promise person wey you no love marriage?? from your profile picture, you resemble person wey neva chop belle full so how you wan manage feed woman?? I hope say you realise say nairaland na for people wey get sense?? No carry us play again o!!

Ijiji1:
If you can do all this for a girl you love, what will you do for your mom who brought you to this world.

Nothing.

CH3COO:
OMG PLEASE! Romance is not equal to love.  Romance will only go on for so long.  Once you're fat, wrinkled, and old.  When mama and papa don wear each other out . . . it's not the romance that glues them together. . . it's the love.

When you are old and wrinkled it is the fact that you have no other choice that keeps them together not love.

onyinye2:
@esss

when you try to substitute romance with money, you don't buy her love. only heartache.

Thats not true. Whats romance??

Flowers.
A trip to Paris
Breakfast in bed at the finest hotel in New York
Sun bathing in hawaii
A porshe with her name on the license plates from Italy
Dinner at al-bujarab in in Dubai
All expense paid shopping spree in Milan
Holiday in Spain
24 karat Gold necklace for your birthday
Massage in Singapore
Custom designed cloths by the world finest designers (from Marc Jacobs to Versace to Donna Karen New York)
Tour of a Games reserve in South Africa
Dinner on a 20ft yatch with Enrique Iglesias playing soem sweet tunes just for you.
Concert tickets to your favorite band
A lovely evening at the Marriotts with champain, rose petals, Ice cream and lots of sex.

Tell which woman would have all this and not love me.

Damn I need money

Jeez I need money.

I hope I forgive you Mum. For the bullsh*t and pains you have put through.
I might forgive you dad. You could have stopped mum but you never did.
I wont forgive you my love, if you ever leave me. Cos you are all I've got left in the whole wide world.
I will never forgive you teachers, you bloody tried to ruin my life. And God save you I dont ever get a chance to pay you back. Cos I will, with Interest.
To all my friends who left me during hard times, I forgive you. But I swear I'll definitely Bleep y'all up at any chance I get.
I cant forgive you Life. You sure dealt me a bad hand.
I forgive myself, for all the revenge and wickedness I'll met out to all my enemies and those I hate.

And finally, I forgive God. For not taking my life when I gave it to him. Cos now I'll have enough time to pay the world back in its own coin.

Mesmerize:
Now am curious, what do men want?

Money, sex and alcohol

@ Oyinye
Love without romance?? That where money comes in. Money can buy romance.

Not really

Protection could be in terms of physical strenght.

But security is bigger.

Family security (bearing a mans name) i.e marriage. Financial security, securing her future, e.t.c.

So security and protection are not necessarily the same thing.

@ Topic

What do women really want??

1. MONEY _{(the most important)}
2. Protection
3. Sex
4. Security
5. And last but not the least love.

Mesmerize:
you sure you're not obsessed. .

You bet I am. I more than obsessed.

brownbonno:
The civil society should call the school authority to order,there is no need to bring the good intention of the G.O(general oversear) to a disgrace you will see what religion have done to Nigerians(becloud their sense of reasoning)[/b]

What good intentions?? Raising an army of religious zombies?? Abeg tell me his good intentions, promoting religious fanatism?? Making christianity into a religious cult?? I'm dying to know his good intentions.

Esoheolotu:
[b]ANY BODY THAT CAN BE BRAINWASHED IN COVENANT CULD HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED NEWHR

True!! but whats your point?? That it's alright for CU and Oyedepo to keep controlling the minds of our supposed leaders of tomorrow and taking away their rights to freedom of choice and religion??

Esoheolotu:
I KNOW HOW TOLIVE MY LIFE. IF YOU TELL ME BULLSHIT I LL KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE A REASONABLE HOME TRAINING.

So why do you need CU?? There are other private universities in the country, why CU?? Or do you doubt your "home training" wont stand the test of an open and free society?? Why do you need CU to keep training you when this is when you should be checking how properly you have been raised??

Esoheolotu:
EARLIER DIS YEAR A GRADUATE OF ESUT HU CUDNT SPEAK ENGLISH WAS DISCOVERED DURIN THE NYSC. EXPLAIN. IS IT ONLY COVENANT UNIVERSITY GRADUATES THAT ARE IN CLUBS? IS IT ALL COVENANT GRADUTATES THAT LACK SIMPLE LIFE SKILLS? DONT MAKE WOT HAPPENS EVERYWHR A BIG DEAL.

Our point exactly. Students in federal/state universities are not all demons. As a matter of fact, we have students who carry a bible everywhere they go of their own accord and not under duress. So if CU students are also as bad as Normal Uni. students, then whats the point?? What the added benefit of CU?? Expelling HIV positive students, pregnant students and students with no bibles is a BIG DEAL!! get that into your head. It dose not happen anywhere in the world. If this where to be the United States or Europe, a Class action suit would have been filed against the school and Oyedepo would have sold Canaan land to pay compensations and legal fees. Rules are there o! but your school rules are still subject to the constitution of the federal republic of Nigeria.

Esoheolotu:
THE RESULTS FROM COVENANT ARE SOOO GOOD BECAUSE THE NORMAL DISTRACTIONS ARE ABSENT. SO ALL STUDENTS DO IS STUDY AND STUDY HARD. IT MIGHT BE WRONG. IT MIGHT BE RIGHT THAT IS NOT FOR ME TO DECIDE. AM JUST EXPLAININ Y DEY HAVE SPECTACULAR RESULTS. YOU SHUD THINK ABOUT IT TOO. UR STUPID GF CUD HAVE GRADED FROM NESKOOL AT ALL AND STILL LACK A BRAIN. COVENANT DID NOT EAT OUT HA BRAIN

No distractions you say?? You dont see living in perpetual fear as a distraction?? What happens when you find out that due to some medical error you have contracted HIV and ur CU is about to kick ur ass to the curb?? Church is a bloody distraction, Your bootcamp rules and regulations are damn distractions. And the spectacular results you are shouting here, could be just a matter of P.R on the part of the school. No be dem dem?? Which external body has come to carry out quality assesment of the results and examinations of the school?? Abeg make we hear word O! jare.

And just to correct dumb ass, I neva stated she was my girlfriend neither did I call her stupid _{(learn to not just read but also understand. CU wont teach u this)}. I said "a chick". There is a difference _{(I wouldnt expect you to know though)}. 


Winners Chapel, Oyedepo and CU are giving christianity a bad name. Turning a University into a christian extremist training ground.  Jesus should'nt hear this.

Esoheolotu:
Hu says covenant is for those that fail jamb? it is for those hu want to graduate on time, hu don't want cult wahala, hu don't want their results to get missing like in fed skools. covenant university is for the smart kids from good private secondary schools. u can't fail and enter covenant. u don't like deir rules dosnt mean u should insult and spread rumours about the school. no hatin please.

I did. What was your JAMB score??
Who says you wouldnt graduate on time in federal universities?? worst case is they offset your calender for atmost 3-6months (but this is on very rare occasions)
Cultism my ass, you are in a religious cult already and dont even know it.
Good, smart Kids?? Niggar please. I'm doing a CU chick _{(I hope my babe neva gets to see this)} and although she is "good" I dont know about smart.
You cant fail and enter CU?? WTF!! Can you bet your life on it?? Cos I know of some cats who got in just by knowing some big guy in admin.

Dude!! It's obvious that you are anoda Student _victim of CU. So pls answer the questions I asked in an earlier post.

When my phone rings, this is how I answer;

1. My Girlfriend; Hello love, Hi hun, sweetheart how r u?? Wats up honey??

2. Hoodrats; Hey babe, O girl how fa??

3. My Hommies; Wither, wetin dey, oboy how fa?? Which levels??

4. My dad; hey pops

5. My mum; Hi ma

6. My siblings; Yes?? What is it??

7. Unknown Caller; Hello, whos speaking please? Na who be this?? Onye na ekwu?? Ibu onye?? Ogini _{(Depending on my mood)}

vassilli:
they r raisin relirious fanatics, hypocrates, extremists and worshippers of papa

Word!! Can you imagine a CU student becoming the head of a government/public office?? People will lose their jobs for not attending the monthly night vigils, people will be queried for not bringing a bible to work. And promotions will be for only those who have been baptised with the holy spirit.

Papa indeed. Even Jesus disciples sef no call am Papa.

Ingenious!! Absolutely ingenious!!

Wow!! One can only imagine the stench that emanates from their gutters.

Septic tanks _{(suck-aways),} would probably be like crack cocaine. Damn I love this Country!!

Finally a drug I can abuse without police harrasment.

_{I wonder how I can deal it?? Canned Gutter Odour!!}

@ topic

My girlfriend. Everytime I see her I go weak at the knees.

Nope

_{No fuel in my car.}

Will you date your age mate??

Johnny

I feel your pain bro. Having babies could be very difficult for some couples. This is my advice to you; I'll say wait for Gods time, but Gods time takes too long. Have you been to clinic for check-up?? Make sure you undergo fertility tests and see what te result will be. Or you go for a much more simple method called artificial insemination. This has been known to work for most couples with child birth problems. IVF is also a popular form of A.I.
If you need a child real bad, I suggest you seek out medical advice although it might be expensive, but it's worth it. You could even choose the sex of the child.
I wish you the best.

In my opinion,

This only goes futher to show how our government thinks. How do you justify bringing Rio Ferdinand to help inspire the young kids on our streets. On what platform can they relate to him?? has he ever in his life had to experience the day to day struggles of the life of a Nigerian street kid?? Wouldnt it have been better if they had invited a local football star to help inspire the kids?? Even Okocha would have been much more understandable.
Fashola should just admit that he is a Manchester United Fan, and wanted to take a picture with Ferdinand on his own turf. This is just another one of the reasons why I dont pay my taxes.

Ijiji1:
hmm!! let me get this right, it's now south-south, south- west and south- east. where were all these brothers of the south- east when the north central, north whatever invaded my homeland and killed thousands of innocent women and children for nothing.

HUH!!

What is the relationship between education and religion??
Does being a christian make you a better student??
Does carrying a bible around make you a better christian??
Does attendng Convenant Kindagarten make you a better person than a student of a federal or state University??
Why has Convenant University silenced the voice of their students by eliminating any form of student unionism??
How does Convenant University prepare their students to face the versitility of everyday society??
What does Convenant university stand to gain by taking away the important aspects of university education namely; Freedom of choice, freedom of speech, freedom of socialization, freedom of religion and independence.


In my opinion the rules and regulations of convenant university are very counter-productive. Students of such reclusive universities tend to be socially retarded. Look at the veiws of most of the CU students on this thread, all their veiws are centered around two things; 1. No one was forced to attend CU 2. They werent expelled for just not bringing their bibles to assembly _{(which sound pretty wired for a university)}. They see nothing wrong with the rules whatsoever. Every year CU graduates Zombies into the society after three - four years of brain-washing and mind-control. I feel really sorry those innocent students who were forced against their will by their parents to attend CU. Its a pity

If you are not mature enough to face the rigours of a normal university, stay at home. Nothing will piss me off worse than having to struggle a job position with a brain-washed retard from CU.


AND whats up with PAPA's ambition of opening an oil company and a bank?? Let me guess, you'll need to bring a bible to withdraw your money, you'll need a big bottle of olive oil to deposit and you'll need to embark on 3months of fasting to get a loan. And heaven knows what ideas they'll come up with for the ATM machine.

EFCC and ICPC please deliver this nation from the claws of christianity O!!

ademiller:
Wats rong with gamine mumu?

What do you expect from a product of CK _{(And I dont mean Calvin Klein)}

@ Poster

If any babe plans to use that method with me, I'm very sorry for her.

She should first of all know I'm pro-abortion,
If she insists on having the baby, then she should be ready to be a single mother, or put the baby up for adoption. Either ways I aint having no unwanted babies. No sir.