₦airaland Forum

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

Too many red flags anyway. Remember that marriage is an institution where you never graduate. It's a life time affair, so look well before you leap into it. A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

I might be interested in you if only you let me slide into your DM.

Please where can I meet a white lady. Which site do I register or an app I can download.

I want to serve again and it must be in Taraba

Na wa, some people no get problem for this life sha. See wetin human being dey complain as challenge

Kobojunkie:
You mean prison?

if he goes there and commit crime, then he will do the jail term there

Tetrisbiz:
I never wanted to do this and this is a very embarrassing situation but I need help from nairaland users.

I have an older brother in his early 40s. Since I was a child till this very moment, this person has been a torn on the flesh of my parents and the family in general.

Sometime in 2020, with the help of my elder sister's husband ( the HR) we were able to find a job for him as a supervisor in a factory and then I and my immediate elder brother (another sibling of mine) contributed money and rented an apartment for him in Lagos and then bought some property to furnish the apartment. To our surprise, my elder brother starting forcing his sexual advances on junior female workers and if any of these girls reject his advances he would start threatening the girls that he would get them fired with the help of the HR (My sister's husband). Forunately my sister's husband found out what was going on and rejected my brother's request for the female workers to be sacked. This started a war between my elder brother and my sister and her husband.

My elder brother eventually left that company (note he wasn't fired he LEFT by himself) and went back to the village. When my father heard this he almost collapsed as he knew the trouble that was coming his way.

Since he returned to the village he started assaulting my parents and I had to send money (about 400,000) back to Nigeria for him to rent a flat just so he could leave my parents alone. My brother stayed in that apartment for 3 months then started fighting his landlord and then told his landlord he couldn't stay for the year and demanded some part of his rent back,he took his rent, returned to the village and picked up from where he left by fighting my father ( a very old man). Its so bad that my father sometimes leaves the house (The house that he built as a family house) and stays outside for hours before returning home.

Please do we have restraining order laws in Nigeria and is there a particular police division in the Nigerian police or legal system that can be used to address an issue such as this?

I'm tired and I'm considering taking a drastic and extremely aggressive decision to resolve this situation once and for all.

If there's money, you guys should cajole him into traveling outside the country maybe any of these cheap European country so he can go far away from home. Make him go there make SAPA reset him brain.

No difference between FG and NLC.

victooman:
Hello Nairalanders,

l want to settle down latest next year, l live in Abuja, and the business l do is giving me a minimum of 6k daily.

Though on a good day l can make more than that, my major concern is that l feel it is too little considering the present inflation rate.

Please what is your advice, should l go ahead, or wait and expand my income, l dont want to marry as a man and start suffering abeg.

I'm more concerned about this job that gives you daily 6k. Please can you link me up or throw more light on gje job or business. I live in Lagos. Grant me permission to send a DM please

Same way they announced presidential election results while Nigerians were still sleeping.

Congratulations bro, more to come

Reno Omokri and Simon Ekpa blocked me on twitter. Elon musk should quickly active this feature son I can continue firing them on twitter

They are actually preparing for rerun. Wike was made FCT minister so he can repeat the same dirty job he did in Rivers state in Abuja

Please I need a very good App to download for live streaming of matches. A app that doesn't hang. Thanks

Confirm4real:
Please this is a serious case she happens to be my younger sister I'm putting this up on her behalf.

1. The husband doesn't give her money for upkeep.

2. Most times he beat her up mercilessly.

3. Disgraced her in the compound by telling a mechanic that she doesn't wear pants.

4. Treat her like rag.

5. Doesn't have regard for my family.

6. Monitor her everywhere and accuse her wrongly of following men, this is someone that they've been married for more than 15yrs and have 4kids together.

7. Always accuse her wrongly of stealing his money.

8. Follow her to the market and pays for any food items she buys.

9. The little money my sister earns as a teacher he will make sure she spends all the money at home.

10. Locks his phone but told my sister to always unlock her own so he will be seeing all her messages and calls. Even put tracker on her phone to monitor her calls.

11. Smells my sister's undies atimes to know if she went to meet a man.

12. There was a time my sister was into restaurant business the husband didn't allow the business to last, he told her customers should not sit down to eat they can only buy and go.

13. He now bought a Sienna he still put tracker to monitor the car and inner tracker to monitor calls inside the car. If he noticed some conversation in the car he will start calling my sister, if she doesn't pick while driving he will start insulting her.

14. He pays the children school fees and house rent with complains. They're living at Ajah.

Although I have reported the case to Human Rights. Please what advice can you give if she's your sister.

Note: They dated long before marriage almost 5yrs, but I wonder why she didn't see those red flags then.

Women should be careful in their choice of selection, most men pretends to be nice during dating but not knowing they're beast in human form.

Maybe you and your family prefers to carry her corpse than for her to come to her fathers house on her own . make Una just dey play till he kills your sister and go to jail , then the children becomes orphans.

Wetin oyibo dey find for the CAF team

Are you just finding out. This has been the norm for a long time now

Whether the hymen is intact or not don't loose her.

Omo police arresting senior military officers. This their police get mind ooo. See levels na

Government of one chance. Nigerians do not have a say but must abide to their biddings

Everything is sin to them. Religion of peace indeed

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

Oga give the babe belle, make sure they are aware of the pregnancy. After some time tell them you're no longer interested in their daughter. Then sit back and watch how they will come begging . let them do their worse. What nonsense

This is Photoshop though

That's the way to go. Harry Maguire should leave the club ASAP before he scores more own goal. Chelsea will be a good destination for him . I'm in full support of anything that will bring Chelsea down the league table.

They will continue to go down until they discover oil.

Lol Them never pass ball ball give am but he don't already day play back pass

This is initial gra gra. (IGG)

Of course they will deny as usual

Igbo and Edo language. Though I'm igbo

Tinubutocracy : The government of settling scores, rewarding loyal party members and closing corruption cases against Tinubu and his cronies

I would sing perfect by Ed sheeran.

krcboy:
use VPN

Pls bro can you recommend any free VPN for me to download

Afraid don dey catch them small small

But how much is condom again. Using condom would have prevented all this embarrassment. But no, David nwa Adeleke say na skin to skin dey sweet pass.

Even knowIf you must cheat, cover up your tracks and show maximum respect for your partner