saphiere:
God when?


Father please forgive my sins and put a smile on my face IJN
I may loose guard if I do so.
I know the God im serving. He will show me mine wheb he comes.
To be sincere, I am very very attractive. I get more than ten toasters in a day. I've been through a lot. I've been abused, lied to, and used. My last boyfriend never broke up with me. We were still dating when one day I saw his wedding picture on his profile. He never told me my offence. I have gone through a lot in the hands of men. Every bad thing you can think of, a man can do to a girl, has been done to me. I have dated so many men and the are all the same. So forget. You don't know my pain. I'm a very good and sweet person. But every time these men try to make me feel I don't deserve true love. I say a big Amen to this. I'm one. 'A feminist' and nothing on earth can make me leave the movement. Feminism has opened my eyes. It has taught me how to be independent and a strong woman.

Stop asking God when!

This your feminism disposition is part of your problem. One day your eyes will open.

What some women fail to understand is that submitting to a man doesn't mean being his slave. They join the bandwagon of women who have been maltreated and abused by men and start listening to their tales of abuse.

See, what you listen to is what you become and what you attract to you.

Why not change your circle?

Why not look for women who have beautiful marriages and become their friends?

Why not be humble to learn from them what they're doing to get such results?

Why not be ready to change for good?

There are good men. There also good women.

Put in another cliche form, there are bad men. And bad women.

The average man sees a feminist as a challenge to him.

Feminism is an attempt to usurp nature.

Men see respect as love. Women see a man's attention & care as love.

When you keep acting unruly or keep reminding a man that you know your rights and that if he abuses you, you can easily work out of that relationship, such a man will quietly leave your life early enough before the relationship goes too far.

There are men who mean well for you. But if you can't trust them, they'll easily know and won't be comfortable around you.

Not all men will abuse you, sister.

You just haven't opened your mind to know the right one.

There may be some whom you've driven away by your attitude or rights-conscious feminist tendencies.

Check yourself. You're partly to be blamed for your relationship woes. The men too are to be partly blamed.

Work on yourself.

Respect the right man and he will love you to the ends of the world.

There are still good men.

This blame game will not take anyone far.

This isn't an attack but an advice for your good.

Introspect hard. Look inwards and change.

The right man will see the new changed you and settle down with you.

Don't change because you want to marry. Change because you finally found out the areas where you have been self-sabotaging.

However, if you didn't find any of such areas then continue being the present you.

We learn everyday.

Me too-- I keep learning everyday.

I am not perfect, either.

I have my own faults.

In summary, the ball is in your court.

It's your life. Not mine. You alone will decide for yourself.

God bless you.

Curvinus:


When you look up the definition of narcissism, you would see that almost everbody displays or has the tendency to display the traits mentioned one way or another - grandiose sense of self, fragile ego, preoccupied with thoughts of unimaginable wealth etc. Makes one wonder if the word narcissism isnt being used as substafuge to cover for our own inadequacies and weaknesses.

I say this because reasons abound that could compel a partner to exit or want to exit a relationship - ranging from looks, money problem, boredom, incompatibility, status and so much more.

However, when talking about narcissism, all these factors are often ignored and the entire blame is placed on the narcisistic personality syndrome.

So, I tend to think of narcissism as just word we use as a coping mechanism when our affection is not reciprocated in the way that we might have strongly desired rather than an anti-social personality disorder.

These are just my own thoughts based on personal experience and anecdotal evidence. They are not backed by scientific facts though.

Everyone has narcissistic features on an average/normal spectrum.

When it's no longer within normal range it becomes Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

It's clinically diagnosable.

Don't take my word for it-- google it yourself.

It's just like saying everyone gets angry but not everyone can control their anger pretty well.

There are those with anger issues.

Admitted these could be the cause of a relationship severing:
"ranging from looks, money problem, boredom, incompatibility, status and so much more." However, a person with NPD, exhibits certain behavioural traits that are beyond proportion. I must point out too: if these isolated causes you pointed out is/are the cause of a break up, it may not be a case of NPD. No point stating the obvious. This wasn't what I was driving at with my earlier comment. I guess you just wanted to comment for commenting sake.

In conclusion, narcissism has its ordinary dictionary meaning distinct from narcissistic personality disorder.

pocohantas:


You need to see an exorcist. This level of fury is too much for one human.

Don't mind the unhappy fool.

He's unhappy & is looking for who to vent his pain on.

Angrygoat:
U r ugly as a lady,u come get man face. Yuck .
Wonder how u look without automated paint on your face,most of u girls are ugly and disgusting when naked,but na just that hole wey dick need b4 e go vomit and rest. If it's not ugly fat patches everywhere,it's stretch marks dueto diff sperms,stinky fish smelly pekus,one was even discharging g saliva on my pillow case when she slept,I burnt it after she left.

Mr. Perfect

Clap for yourself.

At least, you're handsome.

No stretch marks, no height issues, no weight problem.

After all you're tall & handsome and you created yourself to be that way.

So, clap for yourself once more.

Celebrity?

On a platform where over 95% of members are on ghost mode?

Davash222:
Are you here to advertise your IG handle or are you here to laugh at us?

Omo this wan got me laughing

BigDan69:



You just explained my ex... Like this like this, na free pyssy I dey get she thinking I love her. I go manipulate her too

If you'd ask me, I'll say forgive her & move on.

He who forgives is stronger than the manipulator who caused the initial harm.

Leave her in the hands of God. Let karma visit her at her doorstep.

bigcee:

I swear, I pity anyone who lacks knowledge on how Narcissist operates. Those people are master manipulators. I can spot them if they're around me but covert narcissist are very difficult to spot. I suspect the babe is a covert Narcissist.

Yeah, most likely a covert narc.

When a relationship starts on a high note of excitement or when a relationship begins way too fast with both partners always being in each other's world all the time

Chances are that it won't last.

I commend you for not accepting her back.

Never, ever accept a woman who dumped you for another guy.

She's not coming back because she has realised her mistake but because you're a supply to her-- a supply that gives her attention.

Narcissists are fond of displaying this type of trait.

They use people and dump them.

When the people they dump heal and start doing great again, the narcissist will try coming back.

Never accept such people back into your life.

Ignore them.

Ignore her.

Never allow memories of the good times you had with her becloud your reasoning into accepting her.

Those were faked acts.

Narcissist are good at mirroring.

They study you quickly and know so much about you in a short time then they begin to do, say, act the way you'd want them to.

Avoid them. They're actors with an evil heart.

Na from play play we de take get players.

From kissing you go suck breast and next thing una go naked.

My brother, leave that woman alone.

The Bible says flee all manner of sexual temptations.

Will you want someone to sleep with your own wife?

Do unto others what you want them to do to you.

Karma is real.

But I'm having a nudge in my mind, is this story real or you made it up?

Anyway, I have advised you.

Thank you and God bless.

Focus on your career.

Leave her.

She's being economical with the truth.

Her conscience blamed her so she opened up to you.

However, her pride and ego part refused her from being 100% truthful to you.

What she did was to tell you half truth -- 50% honesty.

It is called selective honesty.

And it is as bad as a lie.

In fact, far worse than a lie.

Run.

Gobdddd:
Pls do recommend for me.

I can drop my contact. But If you will wish for me to give you a call, pls drop yours.

09076737179

I will advise you speak with a professional therapist center. There's one called PsycheNG in Lagos.

This is their address:
13, Iyanda Bashua Close, Off Fola Agoro Street, Somolu LGA, Lagos Nigeria

Phone Number: 0808-352-3600

Their Specialty: An online/offline concierge therapy center; managed by Toyin Alatise-Abimbola, experienced in providing professional concierge psychotherapy, Individual & family therapist, psychological evaluation and assessment on effective/mood disorders services.

RiyadhGoddess:
Till date, I don't believe in the word 'Female Pastors', I will rather call them Church Mummies!
This news isn't surprising. This is what happens when the 'Daddy GO' dies. The woman immediately changes cabinet and that is usually the down fall of such churches. Check the history of churches whose founder (husbands) died and their wives took over, check what's left of them. It's usually not always the same ever. Another Bethel loading...

This is why I do say this with my full chest that 98% of these Female Pastors are ONLY Pastors because their husbands or the man they are crushing on are Pastors. They are Pastors because of the need to support their husbands ministry. Some of them even became born again, active in the church so as to win the Pastor into marriage which earned them an automatic 'Pastor Mrs'. When their husband dies, you will see the true color of Mummy GO / Pastor Wife. Mummy loves me, mummy supports my ministry, die first we go confirm am.

Many workers and pastors who have toiled and labor in the church will be thrown into 'Oh God' and 'it is well' and mummy's excuse will be, he or she never liked & respected me when my husband was alive, they are stealing church money bla bla bla.

Woman no dey born again finish ooo Fear Woman!

And you're a woman?

So make we fear you too?

chatinent:


If you have evidence your husband is cheating and cannot remain in the relationship, you leave. If you are not leaving, you are still married to him! At least, I believe the only grounds for divorce is adultery.



Can two wrongs make one right?

Your reconnecting with an ex is a payback, yeah?

What if everything was a mirage and the end brings you this dropped eyeballs that your husband wasn't cheating actually? Can you unscrew the screwed? Or you wanted a reason to cling to to return to the arms of this new 2face?

Why condole cheating if that's the case?

If you cannot accept it, you leave the union. That's the only ground morally acceptable to regroup with your new 2face.



I doubt you have feelings for 2face...it's this new attention he's giving you when you so need it that's translating to emotions, pills, and feelings.

Hanty, I will not mince words.

You are afraid of your tendency to meet your ex and ...history history...yeah?

What is the assurance your ex would make a good husband? If he would, you wouldn't have left him!

You are still a married woman whether or not you accept it!

How do you manage an ex who knows you are married but wants to screw you! Doesn't it ring the bell to you he only misses your body?

Wetin dey happen for this world sef.

Abi is it only my brain that has no downtime?

I endorse 100%

At OP-- read @chatinent's comment twice.

He has said it all.

God bless you.

Nairaland is the worst place to seek for advice of this nature.

The last time I tried it, I saw shege.

Reading through some of the comments above, I am appalled.

See how majority of people are using condescending words on the OP.

Dear Pastor, I think your wife may be suffering from frigidity.

I may not be correct. I reiterate, I May Not Be Correct.

Google frigidity and find out more.

I will advise you consult a therapist. He or she will conduct a thorough series of tests and questionings to arrive at a perfect diagnosis.

She needs an independent counselor, apart from you her husband.

Her familiarity with you may hamper the effectiveness of your advice and explanations to her from the books you've read as you said.

I understand all you wrote.

You're concerned about love-making. It is proper for you to be.

Love-making ought to be mutual. When one of the partner doesn't respond properly it affects the performance and most importantly the psyche/esteem of the active partner.

Passivity in sex is frowned at.

Nobody would want to make love to a log-of-wood partner.

Your concerns are very much valid.

Don't allow some of the people commenting to make you second-guess yourself.

In summary, consult a therapist.

I am not one. If you need one, I can recommend for you.

God bless you.

Okay, sweetheart

samology2000:
if all you think is all about ladies you will end up in gutter

Hypocrite like you.

Do you know what I do for a living?

Do you know how much I make every month?

Do you know the number of lives I impact?

Because you're privileged to see me air my views on Nairaland you now think all of us are mates.

If you see me on the road inside a car, it's two hands you'll use in greeting me.

Celebrate grace.

The5DME:
How old are you?

Not necessary.

pansophist:
You ignore them. That's how you cope. Ignoring the rest is easier when you choose one and stick with her, to keep body and soul together, so you won't fall into the temptation of placing them all on rotation. It takes two to play, which means you have the obligation to not play, even if they want you to.

I didn't put up this thread to solicit for advice.

I already know what to do and I stated that clearly. I avoid those type of women.

This thread is an interactive thread meant to find out how OTHER handsome men handle female attention requesting for sex!

I wasn't asking for advice. I was asking for their own way of handling this after disclosing my own way of handling it.

constance500:


Post pictures make we verify your claim

Benki003:
Well I just give them the attitude or I tell them straight ahead, I have lot of them pestering me but i just keep my distance that's all and talk less
Trust me it's not easy but you gat to do it

Peace out ✌️

Thank you for this.

You understood the purpose of my thread and answered the question straight to the point. Others were busy advising me as if I asked them for advice.

I just wanted to discuss on this. And I wrote how I handle cases of female attention for sex and asked how other guys like me handle theirs.

Thank you for this apt answer, Benki.

Clinghton:
Decide how you want to live your life, and tell yourself no one can change it.

I didn't put up this thread to solicit for advice.

I already know what to do and I stated that clearly. I avoid those type of women.

This thread is an interactive thread meant to find out how other handsome men handle female attention!

I wasn't asking for advice. I was asking for their own way of handling this after disclosing my own way of handling it.

EcomPlus:
When you lack focus in life, you ask this kind of question.

If they are only coming after you for sex, then you still have work to do on yourself.

Till now, as a married man I have 4 married ladies that are my besties.

Our friendship started way back from secondary school where we created a study group together. Though thoughts of sex do arise, but we have already established a boundary & we stuck to it till now.

We have a forum where we gather to discuss meaningful issues including business & nothing related to sex..

Mr. EcomPlus

If you have nothing positive to say, stay out of my thread.

With this condescending nature of yours, it appears to me you're a hypocrite.

You have four female besties, clap for yourself.

Did I tell you I am married like you?

Do you know how old I am?

You just make baseless and disjointed comparisons.

Did you read where I said I don't want women coming around me for sex?

What does that tell you?

Automatically, your myopic brain just concluded that all the women coming after me are coming for sex! Learn to read and understand before jumping into making comments on things you don't understand or know little about.

I also have female friends who are besties to me. We don't have sex. I didn't have to say this before you realise the possibility of this being the case as well.

I asked that question concerning new female friends who come after me and the next unguarded, condescending statement from your "mouth" was to talk to me about focus. What do you know about me or my life?

Where's the nexus with focus here?

People are coming after me and I keep turning them down-- where's the connection with focus?

Very stupid utterance from you. Shallow thinking at its peak.

As a tall handsome guy I am used to attracting attention from ladies.

But lately, I am no longer finding it funny.

Man must not live by kpekus alone.

There's more to life than sex.

The problem now is most of them that come to me don't come because they love me but because I am tall and handsome.

They just like the company.

I want someone who will love me for me not for what they will get from me.

And if you're wondering, MONEY is not a problem to me.

Put me in your prayers, friends.

But to all my fellow handsome guys how do you cope with all the female attention?

Don't tell me you knack them because that's not what I'm looking for.

Companionship is more relevant to me than sex. I am not growing any younger even though I'm still young.

wumi2017:
Congratulations God when

Serve him genuinely

Give your life to Christ

Onyi22:
Congratulations my Love, more win

Which love? Because of money & fame?

You have forgotten about us?

Kwantinue

MaryBaey:


I’m a very close friend to him,so why would he think I will help him on this..lmao
Na you sabi

Close friend, ke? Never heard of friends with benefit?

Somebody may be catching feelings on you and you don't even know, lol

Jesus is Lord.

That Bisi Alimi is a homosexual doesn't mean anything he says is wrong.

We should learn to relate with people for the fact that they're humans.

While I am straight, I don't hate gay people.

If we must argue let's argue on points not against people. When you do the latter you're taking us back to the era of the brutish man in Thomas Hobbe's famous proposition.

The OP has a right to post the news she put up here.

If you don't like it, simply pass and ignore it.

It's her thread.

You can put up your own rival thread if you're offended.

Not to encroach here.

However, if you must comment, then be civil about it.

We're humans first before anything.

Let's stop all the name-calling.

Wicked people

After he will ho about chanting Biafra up and dan (down).

All these people are hypocrites.

What is he hiding? Why stop Ber from going to the bank?

Looking for free kpekus and a way to manipulate her.

What a wicked world.

God help us.

The world needs Jesus more than ever before.

It is well.

Aiwehdeh:
it's all good. Let me do the job for you.

Do which job?

Am I the one who posted it?

Me that is criticizing the OP for posting a low-paying job!

You didn't even catch the drift!?

Na wa.