₦airaland Forum

oga,from ur story.I'm not so sure that the girl loves u.
if she does,she would have reduced her relationships with all those guys.when a girl is in love,baba u go know.
and also dt rape ish..I dunno buh why didn't she scream so that other guys and the girl would come around??..huh?
that guy that 'raped' her must have been showing signs that he wants something with her,and if she had shut him down well,it won't have got to that.
and yep,chances are she is/was getting knacked in camp,that's why she made the no sex move for u.
u re a nice guy and soft sha,u re too soft..
anyways,I've said my own,do what u want

realpoacher:
@daviddageek and @magikalz have done justice to your issue so I am only going to re-echo what they have said. And I will do this in practical terms.


Never fall in love with a woman, I repeat never fall in love with a woman. OK wait, let me rephrase myself... You can fall in love with a woman, it is allowed BUT NEVER SHOW/SAY IT. If you are wise, you will understand what I am trying to say.
Remember this statement: The day a man falls in love, a new MUMU is born.

I am not trying to make you wicked, NO! I am only trying to make you keep your BALLS by all means necessary. And to do that you have to understand the chemistry, psychology of a woman. A man in love does not appeal to the woman.. EOD!! Why because the woman is built for love/feelings while the man is built for things much more stronger than love, things like Companionship, Security, and Provider of comfort.

Everything you desire from a girlfriend( company, romance, respect, Sex and friendship) is what you are currently enjoying from her. What else do you stand to benefit from her by officially asking her out?... Nothing other than Emotions!... Yes! Emotions will sneak in once you open your mouth like tap telling her your feelings about her. After that, she will be gone with the wind.

I have to praise you for coordinating the relationship very well uptill this point because this type of paroles is what every guy dream of... Why?... 'cos she has more to lose while you have less to lose. She has invested more into the relationship and the last time I checked, girls with more investment in relationships always protect their investments.

Her withdrawal from you is because she wants to turn the table on you by making you chase her. Make no mistake about it, chasing her does not mean that she will accept or that she will come back (that's what your mind will tell you) rather chasing her will increase your investment upto even hers or even to supercede hers, once it gets to that point, Bros you will be booted out, trust me!

Since the both of you are still very young which I guess it's the same for most guys coming here seeking for help on relationships matters, I will take my time to school you guys in details on how to survive relationship issues with Nigerian girls. Notice my emphasis on "Nigerian girls" because Nigerian girls are a special breed and what works with other girls outside Nigeria might not work with Nigerian girls..... So back to your story.


A typical Nigerian girl does not understand what love is so in the process, abuse of it is inevitable. Once in love as a guy they term you nice guy without game. Make no mistake about being called a Mr nice guy because it's not a compliment rather to them its another way of knowing the guys who are wussies and pussies who will do or carry out all their whims and caprices!... Lolz.. Now I know you obviously wouldn't like to be termed that. Well, is there anything wrong with being a nice guy and actually fulfilling all the fantasies and desires of the girl you like/love?..... Erm, nothing wrong with that actually in the real sense but you should only do things on your own terms.

Girls are built to follow while guys are built to lead, deny it as much as you want, it still doesn't change the reality on ground. Leaders are the boss while followers are the staffs. How does it feel like, that as a staff, all of a sudden you start leading the company, office or parastatal and all of a sudden your boss becomes a member of your staff?... Wouldn't you be turned off with him?.. Its the same with allowing girls to lead a relationship while you follow, they immediately resent you because you are supposed to be the one leading them not them leading you. If they resent you how can they love, respect and be loyal to you like it was in the past?... Never it can't work. This is what @HARDDON have been trying to pass across with this thread.

FYI, a girl emotionally blackmailing you is leading you, fulfilling her every desire is; she leading you, putting all her advice to work is; she leading you, making you to fall in love with her is; she leading you. Providing for cash for your upkeep; is she leading you(husbands beware!).

There is only one way to fulfilling her desires and still remain at the top, that is everything you must do or not do should be on YOUR OWN TERMS.

In conclusion, in withdrawing from you, she wants to use reverse psychology on you to spill the beans. She wants you to show her that you love her "on her own terms". Fall for it and lose her forever. Even if she doesn't run away, get ready because it means that she will always emotionally blackmail you to get what she wants even if you guys get married.

Tame your emotions man and refuse to tell her your feelings. Grow some balls bro! By withholding Sex from you she has declared war on not just you but on all male specie, she isn't the first to go down this lane, her other sisters eve, Delilah, cleopatra before now have towed this same path. Don't worry sir, you have the davids, Solomons, mysterys and the styles here to assist you . Ignore her, Go out and catch fun with other girls, drop your jealousy or better still just face your medical books. Your nuts sac is full and your sense of judgment might be blurred. Go fucck some other girls, runs girls, oloshos, I don't care so long as you spill your nuts. Anything other than telling her that you love her is fine by me. But if you dare tell her that you love her, you will not only lose her, you will beg for her love, you will cry and crawl on your knees for her love. I am warning you.

The only iota of respite you will have is if you must say anything, only talk about the future like @magikalz said like you should ask her how many kids she will want to have for you. Bla bla bla.. Just keep questioning her about your future together. Never be definite in your talk, answers and promises with her.. That way, you won't grant her the psychological approval about your relationship that she wants making her to continually keep searching for it thereby will always keep doing things to please you.

Remember this, so long as she keeps searching for your approval about her stand in the relationship, everything will be fine. The day you grant her the approval, she is gone.


So in all these,am I saying that you shouldn't show care, concern, love, affections, feelings at all?..... No!.... I follow and observe the 70/30 quota rule.

Me: Relationship
I don't care attitude 70%
Care and romance 30%.


Me: when I finally marry

I don't care attitude 50%... I can't kill myself with HBP abeg
Care and romance 50%.


Even when showing care, concern and affection, make sure you do it on your own terms.

Do this and see the results.

Thank me later

boss,thanks a lot.I just saw d write up now.
however,she finally gave in yesterday sha,and we did it.and I haven't told her bout my feelings and not planning to either,but I've been using that future statements ish about marriage,and she has been responding well..thanks boss

hey guys,I'm a medical student just as you guys pc2.
my younger sister is too,but she is in pre-med,absu(abia state university,uturu).
however,they closed d portal before she could be able to pay her fees.In absu,u pay all your fees at once,that is a total of 232,000.now she is stranded,because jamb has already been written and she has no hope.
but I was able to meet some people in d system and they agreed to work us through d backdoor(register my sister by opening d portal without the school noticing ),as in runs.
the money they are asking for is 100,000.my parents managed to save that 232,000 but d 100k was just too much.we even took loans to complete it 232,000.
please any help that anyone can offer to us would be much appreciated pls.
she wrote jamb 3 times before getting it on merit and now she is about to lose it,just because of financial issues..
pls help ur fellow medical student.any amount is not too small.thanks guys

magikalz:
You have done so well, so far....why do you want to spoil this good job you have been doing.

QUICK QUESTION: Do you plan to marry her in the very near future?

I will suggest you continue as you are doing. If she denies you sex, find a way to turn it around on her. You could make teasing comments about it...use reverse psychology.

Show care and attention when due but please know where and when to draw the line.

Believe you me, the day you finally define whatever you guys have, that's the day both of you will start displaying emotions - positive and negative and often times than not, one or both of you will lose it.

Focus more on your education as you said, MBBS no be beans.....continue to play cool with this babe and enjoy what she offers codedly.

You feel the brother is not commenting on your matter with her but he's watching you, man.

If the gal decides to define what you have with her, it's her business.

Do not capitulate despite all the pressure to start professing your pent-up love. It will spoil things if you don't handle it well later on.

You know why?

Once you confess and define a relationship.....expectations and unnecessary responsibilities will come up.

Your easy friendship and knacking will start suffering. The kpomo she is giving you so freely will not be so free anymore.

I don tire to type abeg.

My take is just continue to play it cool....too much banging of one gal wey no be your wife dey cause unnecessary emotional attachment.

Meet other new gals to avoid this emotional shyte you are feeling...the time for am never reach.

Cheers!

thanks bro..I'll definitely do as u said

DavidTheGeek:
Hey gee!

What you have going on is nice. Why do you want to ruin it?

If you make things official, in the long run the attraction will wear off, you'll lose your charm, you'll relax and that needy side of yours that you're hiding will be exposed, she'll lose interest and dump you.

You don't need her permission to be her boyfriend. The fact is you're her boyfriend already.

So just keep the relationship going the way it is.

If you really like her cuz she's a wife material, engage her in talks about your (you and her) future. Say things like how she'll give birth to 8 twin babes for you... ask her to imagine you guys as husband and wife.. let her tell you her imaginations.

Use the future talks wisely. Don't just confess your heart out to her.

Using future talks will solidify your position as her unofficial boyfriend. She'll know you're ok with you two being together, so she won't feel like you're just using her to jerk cool off.

thanks bro,thanks a lot..appreciate

Japhet04:
wow this is my exact predicament

lolz.so what do u suggest we do,abi what have u done about it

Japhet04:
wow this is my exact predicament

so what do u suggest we do

okay,so I'll just go straight to the point.I have a girl that I'm having sex with,and I'm the one she lost her virginity to,she is 19 and I'm 22.she is my junior colleague,both medical students.
her brother is my good friend(yea,bro code,I know).
He actually knows about us,but he kinda doesn't say anything.my point is this,I like this girl,I really do and I know she feels the same way,but funny enough none of us have been able to ask the "what are we" question.
I don't want to do it first, because I don't want her to know that I actually have feelings for her,I'm trying so hard to hide it.
she tells me about the guys that chyke her(we stay in d same lodge,her room is just opposite mine),also I see guys that come to visit her and how she turns them down.she tells me everything they say to her and we just make fun of em.I get angry and jealous when I see guys talking to her but I don't show it.I don't want her to see that part of me
she describes herself as this "old-fashioned" girl,who believes in the guy making the first move,but I don't want to make the first move.due to
-I don't want her to think I'm more in love or something
-I don't know whether if we start dating,things will change and go awry.
-I don't want to get emotionally down(everyone knows that emotion and MBBS don't work together).
-I've always shown her this tough side..she always see me as this geeky unemotional guy..if I propose now,she might see me as soft..
so guys,abeg advice me on what to do,everly ,I know say bashing go still dey,but make una carry on.
now fast forward to yesterday,for the past one week,she has denied me sex.I'm not saying that its my right,but she allows us to kiss and make out but not sex.I think she is trying to test me or something and I want to be the alpha male.
so what do I do.
HARDDON,realpoacher,others abeg advice needed

masters of ceremony

una just wan derail this my thread..
why now??..abeg make una keep the advice coming,cis recently she has been denying me sex o.we re close,still play and chat and make out but yet she no free me go again o.
me,I am not understanding this new Method

[quote author=OLAJADON post=57525879]from your write up the girl has already assume you guys are already dating even without you asking the question that is why
1. she told you about other guys hitting on her
2. turn those guys down
3. gave you her body, to a female sex is more than just the pleasure, it is everything unlike we men.
if you also love her and you sure it not for the sex, continue the relationship and don't tarnish that firm man image you have built in her head that will make her love you more.
the part where you feel jealous that other guy are after her is you been human, it is a normal feeling. love this girl with your heart but use your head when reasoning.
[/quote

OK man.thanks

Perspectives:
I read your post well chairman.

My point is that all those things you are trying to do, your post and questions should have come before you guys started having sex.

What kind of girl opens her legs/talkless of giving her virginity to a guy without telling her about any form of feelings.

my guy,I no know ooo..e just happen.e just happen and its just been happening..we didn't date,I never chyked her.
I was just myself,and I kissed her and then it started like a cascade and now we re here..

lolz,these 2 posts above me so true yet so opposed to each other..which do I follow??..
keep em coming guys,thanks tho

Perspectives:
Damn! See the way this guy is talking about sex as if it's food. So you were just having sex without any emotional connection. I thought that only happens with prostitutes

oga,read d post well..
there is an emotional connection ni

okay,so I'll just go straight to the point.I have a girl that I'm having sex with,and I'm the one she lost her virginity to,she is 19 and I'm 22.she is my junior colleague,both medical students.
her brother is my good friend(yea,bro code,I know).
He actually knows about us,but he kinda doesn't say anything.my point is this,I like this girl,I really do and I know she feels the same way,but funny enough none of us have been able to ask the "what are we" question.
I don't want to do it first, because I don't want her to know that I actually have feelings for her,I'm trying so hard to hide it.
she tells me about the guys that chyke her(we stay in d same lodge,her room is just opposite mine),also I see guys that come to visit her and how she turns them down.she tells me everything they say to her and we just make fun of em.I get angry and jealous when I see guys talking to her but I don't show it.I don't want her to see that part of me
she describes herself as this "old-fashioned" girl,who believes in the guy making the first move,but I don't want to make the first move.due to
-I don't want her to think I'm more in love or something
-I don't know whether if we start dating,things will change and go awry.
-I don't want to get emotionally down(everyone knows that emotion and MBBS don't work together).
-I've always shown her this tough side..she always see me as this geeky unemotional guy..if I propose now,she might see me as soft..
so guys,abeg advice me on what to do,everly ,I know say bashing go still dey,but make una carry on.
no wahala

good day,guys.happy Sunday.
please I have a lil problem and need guidance,
my laptop suddenly stopped showing anything on the screen,it comes on,but nothing appears on the screen.this has been on for about 2 days now.it is HP 550 invent laptop.
pls how much is a new screen and where can I get the cheap one biko.
I stay in Enugu.thanks
or if anybody has a suggestion on what to do to it,because I have removed d battery and put it back,yet no show..

I need hp550 invent laptop screen. how much is it and how can I get it??..I stay in Enugu.thanks

good day,guys.happy Sunday.
please I have a lil problem and need guidance,
my laptop suddenly stopped showing anything on the screen,it comes on,but nothing appears on the screen.this has been on for about 2 days now.it is HP 550 invent laptop.
pls how much is a new screen and where can I get the cheap one biko.
I stay in Enugu.thanks

or if anybody has a suggestion on what to do to it,because I have removed d battery and put it back,yet no show..

NwaAmaikpe:


I was snatching phones...


Then sell them at Pago 3 or Pace hostels



I was also psyching jambites to join cultism.... Collect initiation form money from them and use it to pay my school fees

so u dey absu,??..I'll report u to those soldiers

ZarZar:
Being smart is also the ability to make your own decisions without assistance. I choose to believe in astrology. My decision. My choice. So let's not impose our own opinions on each other & leave it at that.

FYI, Astrology is not for dumb people , so I have no idea why you think those who believe in it must lack smarts somehow. Astrology actually involves mathematics. It teaches you to read & calculate degrees/angles, unlike other belief based philosophies where you go only by what you're told.

I'm not trying to impose..didn't mean to come off that way,but it is weird to believe that the time of the day u are born in would affect u for the rest of your life.
what if ur mum had umm..a prolonged labour and instead of June 30th u were now born in July 1st or even 2nd,so automatically ur genes now change from being whatever to being another "whatever".it is scientifically,and practically impossible..
and yes astrology does teach maths,courtesy of early philosophers,but their horoscope zodiac classification is totally wrong.

ZarZar:
Being smart is also the ability to make your own decisions without assistance. I choose to believe in astrology. My decision. My choice. So let's not impose our own opinions on each other & leave it at that.

FYI, Astrology is not for dumb people , so I have no idea why you think those who believe in it must lack smarts somehow. Astrology actually involves mathematics. It teaches you to read & calculate degrees/angles, unlike other belief based philosophies where you go only by what you're told.

I'm not trying to impose..didn't mean to come off that way,but it is weird to believe that the time of the day u are born in would affect u for the rest of your life.
what if ur mum had umm..a prolonged labour and instead of June 30th u were now born in July 1st or even 2nd,so automatically ur genes now change from being whatever to being another "whatever".it is scientifically,and practically impossible..
and yes astrology does teach maths,courtesy of early philosophers,but their horoscope zodiac classification is totally wrong

ZarZar:
Lol, I know we're supposed to be a good match with Gemini but I also have the same trust issues your girl has/had. I just don't feel or believe that Geminis know what loyalty is, no offence Mind you, I've only dealt with Gemini women (not romantically of course lol) & they're just not my cup of tea.

the month u were born in doesn't determine anything..I don't know why you believe in all this hocus pocus astro stuff.
but as far as Gemini goes..I have some of their traits.and yes I'm fiercely loyal.
u Aquarians always say or well try to prove that u lots are smart,if u really are,well u shouldn't believe in zodiac ish

June 19th here...proudly Gemini,although I don't believe in all dt shii sha..
zarzar,u Aquarian lots are kinda the best matches for Gemini..
I had an Aquarian girl that i loved..but sadly she friend zoned me for sooooo long...she never trusted me completely,but always told me her secrets.
she was single and always wanted to hang out with me she even gave me a nickname"MF" meaning "more than friends".
sadly,she went back to Lagos to start afresh at unilag,she would always be the one that got away..we still chat tho,but I always miss her.

fratermathy:
#Urhobo nationalism is on the rise and many Urhobos are getting wiser with each minute. We have set our mind to the task of bettering our condition in this nation. We demand an all Urhobo State. As the most populous ethnic group in current Delta State, we have the numbers to populate our own state. We ask for resource control for this new Urhobo State, as well as true federalism. If you can't provide us with this, then grant us our independence as the Federal Republic of Urhoboland!

Urhobo demands for equity and fair play. Although we won't tow the path of the Biafran noisemakers or Nnamdi Kanu, we will get our demands one way or another. We need an Urhobo State without Igbos or any other ethnicity.

Ihwo r'Urhobo, kpani' odetionye? WadooooO!


N.B: It should be noted that Urhobos are not part of Biafra and do not partake in Nnamdi Kanu's terrorist activities. We are peace loving Nigerians who believe in the rule of law in everything.

who is this one??

BEG96:
We're both in medical school

which medical school please??

Frenda:
lease im a medcine student read really hard and i have two carry overs after first semester and had a 5 point after second semester will i be droped from medcine please i need help please

which university??

who ban me??

NLevents:
He said the truth. Those things listed are annoying

3500 for d party??..why??.do we get to go home with d pool??
and why re girls own cheaper??..are they dipping only leg in d pool??..

megareal:
What is she staring at? Is the old man showing her his burial day?

now that was very funny..

OkoYiboz:
Look at this small boy, ordinary fresher in one backwood mediocre institution. You think you're talking to your father's elder brother selling indomie and tea acoss the road?

so..u want to handle me instead...??
uncle,goan make money...and stop exchanging words with ur grandkids online.
btw..I'm not a fresher..pure pc2 student..go check out d meaning of pc2 first,before quoting me...and my school isn't mediocre,its actually top 5 in your country..
and don't bother quoting me again,I'm not as jobless as you

OkoYiboz:
I'll personally handle all of them. I am Oko Yiboz

just look at u,ur mates are handling money,handling whistle,handling even Instagram.
buh see what you want to handle..jobless man
May God have mercy on your soul..Amen