abeg guys, na wetin dey happen now, abeg take am easy oooooo

hello guys, whaoh, absolutely short of words, i posted this expecting opinions about it and i appreciate every single post,

@cristalz
I didn't get the losing part too at first, but I get it now, and its a really beautiful poem.

Its poignant and sweet at the same time. I never woulda guessed a guy wrote it, and that's a compliment
,  ,

, ow u doing, , thank you so much and yes, a guy did,







@h202
That's gay material right there, but there is no shame in it I guess ,


@truebrit, thanks for the correction once again, and your remarks about the poem, i'll work on it, but please take it easy ooooooo,

biolabee:

true brit i think u are taking this too far u have also derailed the thread
please fe32 come out now,

oga b, wetin i go do,  , thanks  as wel



@teeyah, appreciate that too

biolabee:

nice poem fe32 though i don't get the correlation between a perfect man and him leaving you
is he ill at the moment or depressed.

doyin13 n truebrit abeg no fight for here o lets face the issue
the idea behind the poem is the most important thing


there is nothing wrong with the line.
If she were to say perplexed in the relationship and needs to know where she stands, she could let him be for a while and he may come back to her, i.e. let him loose

There is nothing like good or bad art so we should not be too concerned about the grammar in a poem because she is expressing herself

fe32 please continue jare

wonderful one there biola, thank you, the idea's is that the wife's amazed of the many wonderful qualities she finds in her husband that she sees him as an angel , the part that i really dint work on is that, she fears she may one day loose him to being who he was, that she might be woken up by an angel one moning explaining why he has to go back,

she's amazed that the husband is becoming more perfect by the day, and wondering where his faults her,

hope u get the gist a likkle, but i'll work on that, as i said, i'm only an iron bender and rite now, i can't even write "A B C" cos am not in the mood

There is nothing like good or bad art so we should not be too concerned about the grammar in a poem because she is expressing herself

don't know if this's bout me, i'm a guy, anyway, thanks

@bluespice,

thanks so much for pointing out, i must stress that i'm an iron bender(engineer) not a writer, if you could please stresss your point, will really appreciate it, i get most of this things at moments when i'm alone thinking of many things, i just have interest in poems, lots of books and any thing that deals with classics and i  love history too, thank you, i wrote this on a sunday morning at work, work sundays, i was real lonely then and the word just came, and as you experts say that the 1st rule to writing is to write not think, muchas gracias




@truebrit,

thanks 'for the correction man, hope the bullet din't hit too 'hard, i've made the changes, so what do you think about the poem

hello nlanders, i'm loosing my husband, just want your view on a piece i wrote at one of those do nothin - sitdown and wonder times, don't write poems, written few essays, so wouldn't know what to call this, i read a lot of poems and essays though and really love the "love ones", this is totally mine , what do y'all think


[b]
I think I married an angel
And I think I’m losing him

The whole world is tumbling down and I rush to him for help.
All I get is a smile; as if we won’t be touched

I do not know where he keeps his white linen,
I haven’t found a scratch mark on his body;
Perhaps where the wings used to be

He’s got the eyeballs of any man
But one you couldn’t look deep into for long
Because he’ll break into a smile
And I would too

Sometimes he stands by our window for hours
Simply looking at the world around us
At some point, he’ll smile;
Some point he wouldn’t.
But throughout these times, he never says a word

He speaks with such grace
And versed in all manner of learning
Whenever he plays his guitar;
It was heaven

Oh he loves to listen to country
The one’s that’ll talk about love,
Family, parenthood, childhood and the likes

He’s never fast paced
Often forgets things easily
Holds no worries about anything

Everyone should be respected
Everything should be taken lightly
I could never make him angry


I wish heaven would do an head count
And hope I could have the result
Because I know someone would be missing
And I think it’s my husband.

He speaks so soft
Most times hardly heared
I might have to strain my ears many a times to hear him
But with the simplicity with which day turns to night
And night to day
He speaks

And to me
He’s the greatest gift;
The greatest I could ever have wished for,
Though he never looked it when we met

But hour by hour
Day by day
His transformation is fast paced
He’s becoming more perfect a gift
Tending towards heaven


And yes, this is my single fear
I fear he’s going back
I think he’s leaving me
[/b]