₦airaland Forum

brokoto: Where you throw the water?

when we reach there you go know. According to Man

"Flow i no know say you be Taekwondo guy oh" Snoop said to me as we returned from work the Following day, "how you take know?" I asked Snoop. "i see your dobork inside ur bag na" Snoop replied.


Dobork is the Korean Terminology for Uniform a Taekwondo Martial artist wears to his/her Dojan.


Dojan is also a Korean Terminology for Training ground where Taekwondoist trains.


"wetin you find go my bag" I queried. "na when i dey find my boxers, but i don see am sha" Snoop replied. "na everytime ur boxers dey lost, na evertime person dey take ur boxers" I said to him.


"Flow so u be Taekwondo guy?" Snoop asked me. "yes na, i be Red belt" I responded. "me na Blue belt" Snoop said. "where be ur Dojan?" Snoop asked me. "na for Dan Anyam stadium, but no be everytime i dey go, my main Dojan na for Barracks for Lagos" I replied. "me my Dojan na for Old stadium wey dey for Tetlow" Snoop said.


"Flow make we go train this Saturday for my Dojan na, u go like am oh, e don tay wey i go train there sef" Snoop said. "no wahala, i go follow you go" I agreed only because Saturday wasn't a day for Kponkpon.


My name was in the cooking Time-table for that evening.


I started cook with Brainbox coming from time to time to assist me with some chores.

It was vegetable soup.

Vegetable soup and Fresh Fish. A perfect blend.


I rinsed the fish and threw away the dirty water. The water had barely rested on the floor when i realized i had thrown it on the wrong place.

As i ran slowly into the bush trying to catch my breathe, i saw Man and Brainbox discussing. "wetin mad man and person wey no mad go dey talk?" I asked myself.

I thought Man had Joined the Madness, so i took steps backwards, "Flow no run, we never mad" Man said, "how i go take know say una never mad? Mad man no dey gree say him don mad na" I replied still taking steps backwards.

The total darkness in the bush really frightened me, also the calmness in the bush almost made my spirit leave my body. I felt like running.


"Flow i never Mad, i just do that thing so we no go pay for the beer wey we drink" Brainbox said.

I was partially convinced he wasn't mad, because Brainbox was capable of displaying such Con.

What fully convinced me was when Man said, "take ur cloth, wear am make we dey go house". And Brainbox wore his clothes.


So Brainbox put up such a risky Con just for us not to pay for the beer we drank? Why must he poo on the floor? I was sure nemesis would catch up with him when the bar owner sees him in his right senses someday, or so i tot.

Brainbox!! The best 419er!!

"i no fit do dis tin wey dis mumu Brainbox do oh, just because say him want make we no pay for the beer wey we drink, Brainbox u no get shame oh, see as u open ur nyash dey s'hit for bar where everybody dey drink" was what i was saying in my mind as we walked out of the bush.


I was still very much at alert incase a nut in Brainbox's big head loses, and he ran mad for real, i would be the first to flee.

I was also at alert for Brainbox not to walk close to me, incase his teeth was in search of what to bite, it wouldn't be my body.

When we were much younger, we were told by our elder ones to always stay off Mad men, because if they bite us, we would join them in Madness. That believe had stuck.


"but Brainbox u get brain oh" Man complimented. "as i drink that Tea and Beer nahim make my brain think of how i go do wey we no go pay for the beer wey we drink" Brainbox said. "but guy make u no dey try that kin thing again oh, before people go tie you rope say u don mad" I said.


Apart from the fact that Brainbox drank Beer and Tea, he was capable of pulling such Con anytime anyday.

Sometimes i wondered if Brainbox had the same brain we all had, or God blessed him with uncountable amount of brains. Little wonder he had a mighty Coconut shaped head.

Head boy!!

The way he thought outside every box dazzled me alot.


If there was a University of Con, and Brainbox was a student, he would sure graduate with a first class.

salaudol: Well learnt!
Flowa u good die!!!

so remember to always chew gum to every exam.

Chicent: Flow, prof nwosu na big guy now oooo. He is now d HOD of physics dept.he tot me quantum physics nd classic mechanics as borrowed course.bt d man still never change dat him bmw sha.ride on bro. Great imostars representing.

Chicent so u be Imo star? What dept u been dey?

That time wey we dey sch, we hear say him juju dey for him BMW car, that na why him no fit change the car, and that na why the car no dey old.

That man show us pepper that time no be small.

Eze Promoe: [color=crimson]FLOW, i have observations to make. In your second to last update were you were looking for you mgbo at the riverside, you didn't tell us whether you found it or you lost it, before you went to your next update at the exam hall.[/color]

i must not say everything na.

Use ur tongue to count ur teeth.

How would i had written another Mgbo when it was late in the night.

To the best of my knowledge, Mgbo is written mostly in the day when you can easily see your tiny handwritten handiwork.

Remember the Atomic bomb i entered the Exam with was much, so that goes a long way to tell you that i found it.

Next day, it was just Man, Brainbox and I that attended Rice and Beans lecture. Igbkwambo and Ochagbuorie couldn't make it. Old soulja told us they called him on phone informing him they wouldn't come to work because they were ill.

Illness was one of the negative results of mixing Rice and Beans. I prayed i wouldn't fall ill soon.


Madam Ifeoma wore a moody face that day. I just couldn't tell why. "why dis one dey vex? Abi na because i no come work for 2days? Abi na Koboko she want make i wayah her?" I said to myself.

Maybe she wasn't in the mood for my Koboko, or was a bigger Koboko already satisfying her? I just had to wait for Time to answer my question.


We finished work tired. Very tired and weak.


"guy make we go drink for one bar, so we go get ourself" Man suggested as we walked home. "ok, which bar we go go?" I asked, already knowing what his answer would be. "na for one bar wey dey near Kalakuta Republic" Man replied such a question responsibly for the first time.. "eeeeeeeh!! I dey fear Kalakuta Republic oh" Brainbox said.

Kalakuta Republic was a hostel. The head quater of Igboh. I had never been there for once. But i had always had sad news of the Republic. A den for Thieves and Cultist.

Albeit, we weren't heading to Kalakuta Republic precisely, but just coming close to the Republic was very risky. As the Police might show up anytime to comb the street to arrest both the truants and the Innocent.

"guy we go buy Tea wey we go put for our beer oh" Man suggested. "why we go drink beer and Tramadol?" I yelled. "ssshhh! No dey call am Tramadol, na Tea, u want make People dey think say we be drug addict?" Man whispered.

Drug addict was a perfect defination of each of us.

"u no know say if u put Tea inside ur beer, e go make ur body strong, and e go even make ur brain sharp" Man explained. I saw from the corner of my eyes that Brainbox was keenly paying attention to what Man said. "so my brain go sharp, and i go fit chop people for 419?" Brainbox asked Man. "yes na, if you dey drink am everyday, u go be the best 419 for Nigeria" Man assured him.

How f'oolish of Brainbox to think a drug could boost his brain power.

Even if a gun was put to my head, i was sure i wouldn't drink Tea and Beer.


As we sat in the bar, Man dropped four tablets of Tea into his Gulder beer, Brainbox did the same. I just stared at the tablets dissolving in both bottles of beer.

As they both drank, i was 85% sure they would soon catch Seizure or Amnesia, or both.


About 1hour later, we were on our third and Final bottle.


When Brainbox suddenly removed his shirt, i initially tot he was feeling hot, not until he removed his trousers also.

Next, he pulled down his boxers half way.

While he did all these, i thought he only wanted to prank us.

Next thing i saw he started to poo on the floor. An irritating sight indeed.

He was pooing and smiling.

It instantly dawned on me that, "ara abiala oh" if you understand Ibo.

"were ni oh" if u understand Yoruba.

"Brainbox!! Stop this thing na" I yelled as i saw that other customers had started laughing. Laughing loudly even though they were irritated by the poo.


Suddenly Brainbox ran into a nearby bush putting on just boxers. Man ran after him.

"una must pack the s'hit oh" the bar owner shouted.
"my friend don Mad, u dey say make i pack s'hit" I responded and ran after Man.


As i ran out of the bar, i heard the bar owner shouting, "una never pay me oh", "no worry, my grand Papa go pay you" I replied in my mind.

deesnipes: Lucky charm indeed. Na God save u o.

naso oh.

Same old Imo State University. Or rather Imo Stress University.

As i walked into the School, all i was thinking was the stress i would go through writing an exam i had already written last year.

Imo State University! A not too beautiful school but with the most beautiful girls. The school hardly grows, same old buildings, except for a handful of new ones.

I came a bit late for the exam, due to the Traffic jam i experienced.

"Flow how far? Find stool sidon na" Nas who was already seated said. A fruitless search for a stool began.

I searched for a stool for about 10minutes, until i finally got one in the Chemistry Lab downstairs.

Stools were used in seating because that was the kind of seat meant for the Lab.

How i so hated writing exams in the Lab. I had no choice because majority of our exams were written in the Lab. The Lab was big enough to contain all the students in the department.

Big enough for a deadly spacing. 2 persons to 1 gigantic table that was as big as a table tennis board.

Since i found a stool late, i sat alone at the extreme, close to the window.

I wasn't alone, someone sat quitely by my side. Mgbo.

This was the arrangement of my Mgbo: Tied to my right l'ap was a paper containing Four solved calculations, tied to my left l'ap was a paper containing Two well explained Laws and four solved calculatons, and tied to my stomach like an atomic bomb was a paper containing about five calculations. I wore a three-quater short for the Mgbo sake.

As luck would have it, answers to majority of the questions asked were in my Mgbo.

I observed to know if Prof Nwosu was watching, he wasn't watching so i brought out the Mgbo on my right l'ap, and i started copying and pasting as fast as my hand could go, wishing i had more hands.

I was observing Prof Nwosu with an eye, and looking at what i was writing with the other eye, wishing i had more eyes.

More eyes was what i needed because the Invigilators were increasing in numbers.

Soon they were four in numbers. Four of them mounted tight surveillance. My Mgbo at that moment was under my answer sheet.

"you!! What are you chewing?" One of the Invigilators asked me, by name Mr Mike. "ehhnnnnn, Chewing gum" I replied him. "are you suppose to chew chewing gum in the exam hall?" He asked me. "sir, Chewing gum is my goodluck charm whenever i am in an exam" I told him, he smiled and said, "lets see how ur goodluck charm would help you pass the dreaded Quantum Mechnics", "i think you are a spill over student?" Mr Mike asked. "yes sir" I replied. "even all the charms in India can't stop you from failing this course, i assure you" Mr Mike said.

If Men were God!! How could Mr Mike tell tomorrow from today?

Chewing gum was indeed my goodluck charm in exams. It was most of the time my saviour.

1hour later and i had finished downloading the Mgbo on my both l'aps. And discarded them also.

I looked and saw that the coast was clear, so i carefully brought out the Mgbo or rather Atomic bomb i tied to my stomach. I placed it under my answer sheet and started to download it word for word.

I was happy i would be the first to finish writing the exam and submit as i was answering my last question. When all of a sudden someone yelled, "you behind!! Stand up!! So u are cheating". It was Prof Nwosu himself.

As he walked towards me, i thought of what to do with the Mgbo under my answer sheet.

How my hand grabbed the Mgbo was a miracle. How my hand squeezed the Mgbo to be as tiny as a chewing gum was also a miracle.

The Mgbo went straight into my mouth, thanks to my ever fast and active right hand. It went into my mouth as another make of chewing gum. So there were two makes of chewing gum in my mouth. The make of the first chewing gum was Sprint, what else would i had called the other chewing gum that just joined the Sprint than Mgbo chewing gum. A perfect name.

"where is that paper u were copying from?" Prof Nwosu thundered as he came to my table. "sir........ I am not copying from any paper oh" I answered.

"what are you chewing? So u are chewing the paper you were copying from, bring it out" Prof Nwosu ordered. "sir, its chewing gum" I cried out letting out a silent fart. "i say bring it out!" He thundered.

I brought out not the Mgbo chewing gum but the Sprint Chewing gum.
"something is still in ur mouth, bring it out" Prof Nwosu yelled, making me fart loudly. Fart that i intially tot came out from the Prof's a'nus.

I did the best thing to rescue the situation. I swallowed the Mgbo chewing gum, without thinking what it might do to my digestive system.

My goodluck charm saved me.

vision2050: you spent 3hours in writing Mgbo with dat 3hours you don finish read your book so i tot

i hope u no fall inside d river

no be language wey u understand you go read?

Next day was Monday.

I couldn't imagine myself going to do Kponkpon when i had exam the next day.

"make una dey go, today i no go go because i get exam to write tomorrow, make i read by book small" I said to Man.

They left without me for the first time since we started the Kponkpon job.

At about 11am, i started reading or rather i started Mgboing. I tore paper into tiny pieces and i started writing the Mgbo in tiny hand writing.

"guy wetin you dey write like dis?" Baba jay asked me what i considered a s'tupid question. "omo, i register for Arabic school oh, na my Arabic assignment i dey do so" I gave him the best answer.

What i was writing really looked like Arabic combined with Latin.

Snoop laughed and said, "so Baba jay you no know the thing wey him dey write, so u wan tell me say u no write dis kin thing when you dey school?". "i no write am oh, i know book na, why i go cheat?" Baba jay replied. "u no write am, u know book, nahim u no follow your mate go service ehnn" I said. "abeg make we hear word jor, na una wey dey do holy holy, na una dey bad pass" Snoop said.

True talk, those that put up the holier than thou attitude always did worse things.

I continued writing Mgbo for about 3hours.

Although, I wasn't confortable writing on the floor, but what was i to do? We had no reading table, so i had to improvise.

I was really straining my neck, so i thought it right to rest a bit.

Soon I was off to Tupac's room to continue watching the interesting American Movie we started watching the previous night. Before i left, I kept my Mgbo under the mattress for safety reasons.

There was power supply althrough, so i stayed long in Tupac's room watching the movie.

Sleep came, and i fell asleep.

I woke up at about 7pm.


I hurriedly walked back to our room to meet a full house, except for Pkc. "how work today na?" I asked Brainbox. "work make sense oh, Madam Ifeoma even ask of you sef" Brainbox said. "why she dey ask of me na? Abi she want make i come wayah her?" I said to myself.

I noticed that Tega came home with his girlfriend Lydia, "whats up Flow?" Lydia greeted. "am fine" i gave her a cold response. "wetin make dis one dey ask me whats up? abi dis time na my p'rick she go touch? R'ubbish Akunakuna" I almost said.

Akunakuna is the Ibo interpretation of a H''arlot.

H''arlot was how best Lydia could be described.

I lit a candle and reached for my Mgbo under the mattress, in other to continue from where i stopped.

I couldn't find it. It was gone.


"Baba jay u carry my Mgbo wey i keep under bed?" I queried Baba jay thinking he might try pulling a prank on me. "wetin be Mgbo?" He asked me. "Mgbo na ur Papa name" I answered him and continued searching for my Mgbo. "Mgbo nahim be that thing wey him dey write in the afternoon" Snoop told Baba jay. "no oh, i no carry am oh, u know say since that afternoon i go church, na now i just dey come back from church" Baba jay said.


Without my Mgbo, there was no way i could write Quantum Mechnics, even if i was Herbert Einstein himself.

I was shaking like a Jelly fish. I was mad. "una don kill me, na my hope be that Mgbo, wetin una want make i write, i don die eeeeeh!!" I cried out.

I was confused, as there was no way i would start writing afresh, i wouldn't cover up. The Mgbo i had written was much. Very much.

"is it those tiny papers that something tiny was written on them?" Lydia asked. "yes, did you see them?" I queried her at the top of my voice.

"yes, i tot they were not important, so i swept them as i was sweeping the whole house" Lydia responded. Before she finished saying that, i had already dashed to where our dustbin was.

But the dustbin was empty.

"Lydia, e no dey here na" I thundered.

"yeah, i had thrown alway the content of the dustbin in the refuse dump, because the dustbin was full" She said.

"yeeeeeeh!! I don die eeeeeeh!! My Mgbo don swim go for Otammiri oh, Otammiri don carry my Mgbo go eeeeh!!" I cried.


Close to the bank of Otammiri river lied our refuse dump.

Sometimes sea breeze blew some of the refuse into the river. That was my fear.

"guy your Mgbo go still dey there, make we go look for am" Brainbox assured me as he put on the torch light.

"come go show us where you troway the dirty jor" I yelled at Lydia.

As Brainbox, Lydia and I walked, or rather i crawled towards the river, i was saying a prayer in my mind for us to find the Mgbo safe and sound.

If not, Doom would be my Surname in the Quantum Mechanics exam.

God forbid for me to spill over twice. God forbid.

bennygee: Flow,u. Don craze finish.see as I dey laff for office like say I inhale laughing gas.flow,u too much abeg

bennygee, laugh is good medicine.

Damex333: Flow una don dey madt o, u wan kill person xit laughter? Pls i neva wan make ppl think say i don mad lyk pkc o.

Damex u no go mad abeg.

Its been a while oh. Kilon shele? Kilon fa?

How we were able to heal Pkc of his near madness was God's intervention. If not for God, how would the Garri and Palm oil we feed him had worked?



Sunday came.


"guy which shoe person go wear go church sef" I said that morning as i was preparing for Church. "no wear my shoe oh" Tega warned. "no wear my shoe oh" Snoop also warned.


"guy make we go tell Tupac and Bigie make dem find us shoe" Man said to me. And we left to their room.

We came back with two pairs of u'gly, shabby, old shoes.

Man polished both shoes while i took my bath.

Soon we were off to church. Lucky enough, as we stood at the bus stop waiting for a bus, a church member of ours stopped and gave us a lift in his Armanda jeep. Mehn! I felt the journey to church should continue forever, because the car air conditioner gave me a heavenly pleasure.


Luck shone on me in church that day. Gabriella sat by my side. I wondered why she didn't sing in Choir that Sunday. Maybe it was because she came late, or maybe she couldn't make it to the Choir rehearsals, or both.

Just when i said i was glad i sat by the side of Angel Gabriella, a Demon came to seat by my right side. Baba jay the Demon of fart.

As the Preacher began the sermon, from time to time i turned left to stare at the beautiful face of Gabriella. From time to time i also turned to ask her for the Bible passages the Preacher said, just for me to admire her the more.

I dared not turned right to meet the u'gly face of Baba jay. His face was bad luck.

The church was as silent as a graveyard, as everybody listened keenly to the interesting sermon.

I was gladly listening to the interesting sermon when i heard a sound, "braaaaa braaaaaa prooooo!!". I initially tot it was the drummer that hit the drum set.

"braaaaa braaaaaa braaaaaa!!" the sound broke the silence again. This time, Gabriella turned to me, i tot she was admiring me just the way i admired her, so i smiled.

I was on cloud nine. She was falling for me, so i tot.

She returned my smile with an eyeball. "wetin i do na?" I said to myself.

People seated around started staring at me. In their faces were written fury. "wetin i do una na" I said to myself.

Suddenly a stench started radiating around me. I initially tot i had mistakenly fart, not until i heard, "praaaa praaaaaaa proooooo!!" agian.


It instantly dawned on me that Baba jay had done his worse.

The Guiness book of record holder for best fart.

Gabriella and some other people that sat close to me had concluded it was no one else but me that gave out the fart, with the way they stared at me, and the way they placed their hands to cover their nose.

I also covered my nose with my hands so as not to arose any further suspicion. It was of no use because Gabriella already believed i did it. The look on her face was as if she should give me a dirty slap.


As she continued staring at me, i was pointing a finger at Baba jay indicating he did it and not me. But Gabriella still thought i did it.


As service ended, before i knew it, Gabriella dashed out of my sight as if i had a contagious disease. "i go kill Baba jay today" I said to myself.

I quickly turned right to see that Baba jay had fled.

I wept bitterly.

Just when i thought that was enough weeping for the day.

Weeping came to me like Bee to nectar.

As i took a step, i realised my right leg was lighter than my left leg. Maybe Baba jay's fart had paralysed my right leg, or so i tot.

Not until i took another step with my right leg and it still persist. I practically limped. I quickly glanced at my right leg.

And i saw the problem wasn't my leg but my shoes.

The sole of my right shoe had pulled out. I quickly turned and saw it on the floor close to the seat i sat.

That was a Sunday too many.

Joy4mi: Flow seriously dis last update was d best so far.people r just staring at me in the salon,i just cant hold the laughter at all.nice one flowa.

thank you Joy4mi. Laugh still plenty, but just that i just don't know why the Moderators haven't sent this story to front page so more people will laugh.

eletacharly: flow u let me dey laf like mumu inside bus.c as dis fyne gals dey luk melike craze man

shey u dey send who dey look you? Bone dem jor!

"Man go put the Igboh for the food before e go done" I whispered to Man as we entered the room.

It was a full house, Pkc was around. He was studying the word of God.

Spagetti and Beans was the Menu.

Spagetti and Beans!! What a combination. When it was Baba jay's turn to cook, we were sure of such combinations as; Rice and Bread, Noodles and soup, Yam and Rice, and Spagetti and Beans.


Man returned from the kitchen with a smile, that meant he had added the whole 500naira Igboh to the food. "wetin you go do for kitchen? Hope say u no go chop small of the food?" Baba jay said to Man. "no, i go drink water" Man replied.


It was time. Time to eat. Time for highness.

Legend has it that Igboh in a food adds sweetness.

"guy dis food sweet oh" Snoop said. "yeah, its very Delicious" Pkc said. At that moment, i felt remorseful for the evil I and Man had done, not to every other person, but to Pkc. The beloved Pkc.

As we continued eating, Man lit a candle to light up the dark room. Brainbox instantly shouted, "up NEPA!!". We laughed an unending laugh. The Igboh in the food had started telling on him, because only such could make one call candle light electricity supply.

As usual, Pkc was eating alone, while the rest of us ate in twos.

I and Tega was eating from the same plate, when all of a sudden, he said, "Flow pepper plenty for this food oh". "na Igboh dey pepper you, no be pepper" I almost said.

Drama was unfolding gradually.

From the corner of my eyes i saw Pkc took off his singlet, and said, "dis place is hot". "e no hot, na Igboh make am hot for you" I almost said. Hot indeed. Hot when the night was cold.

A cloud of Dizziness clouded the room.

Baba jay was first to fall asleep, followed by Tega.
Next was Mr Brain, I guessed his brain wasn't strong enough to go any further.


It seemed the Igboh Man added to the food was much. 500naira Igboh was like 1000naira Igboh.


Pkc was still eating. Eating, smiling and at the same time studying the Bible.

I was about taking my last spoon, when i saw Pkc removed his boxers and stood up. He was totally n''aked.

I initially tot he wanted to go take his bath.

But he wasn't walking towards the bathroom, he was walking towards the door.

"make him go baf outside na, wetin concern me" I told myself.


Not until he said, "let me go and preach the gospel to people, i want to tell them the n''aked truth".


"Flow make una come make we hold am oh, him don dey run mad oh" Man yelled as he clung to Pkc.

"make una bring water oh, bring water make we pour for him head" Man yelled.

Snoop joined Man to firmly hold Pkc while i ran to the bathroom to get water.

I wasn't thinking straight, so i grabbed the nearest bucket i saw in the bathroom. And i hurried out without looking at the content of the bucket.


I splashed the content of the bucket on not only Pkc, but Man and Snoop also

Yes, the content of the bucket was water. Bad water and Boxers.


It was the same bucket Baba jay soaked his boxers on. His old rugged boxers.

The water was very dirty wasn't what made me laughed.

What made me laughed was how three boxers hung on their heads.

They were crowned Kings. Crown with boxers. Pkc looked more like Oba of Benin with a brown boxers on his head. Man looked more like Oba of Lagos with a yellowish white boxers on his head. Snoop looked more like Sultan of Sokoto with a Blue torn boxers on his head.

SexyDuby: And SexyDuby wins Flow in d away match....Score is 3-1. E don do o odawise, u go dance Efrebo like person wey him 3rd leg don woundjor

Tay!! how you go win me.

Beauty Jacobs: as a BBB, u no suppose 2 dey cap lke dat. Ur anchorage no strong. Dem cut ur tail self?

Beauty Jacobs or whatever ur name is. What are u saying? U smoke Igboh?

kingphemy: Welldone Flow...such a fascinating story but may I asked is it a work of fiction or real life?

As a person born and breed in Ilesa I find the story hard to believe though some details therein are true to some extent.

Who is Ireti, I mean where is her shop located? I am interested in knowing her.

And I never heard of Blue Angel, does it really exist?


Overall, a very entertaining story...

But u have heard of Captain crook and so many other places i mentioned like Isokun?

That goes to tell you that i altered names of some places because you never can tell who is reading. Thats how i do my writing, i don't use names the way they appear in reality.

Beauty Jacobs: u make me laugh nd 4get my worries; even my neighbour dey carry face say i don 2 laugh 2day. Its nice nd creative; even if na lie, e sweet jor

must u say that? Na lie, says who? Am sharing my bitter experience and you call it lie?

SexyDuby: Flow Flower Flowest.....Nyc work honey. Away match awaits u 2nyt!

ok oh. And i promise to score plenty goals like Van parsie.

eletacharly: i can imagine wat wil happen to pkc.am smilin already

keep ur fingers crossed. U go laf tayah.

"make we enter Paapa place go smoke na" Man suggested as we were returning from work the next day. "make una dey go make i go house to baf" Brainbox said and left us.


We got to Paapa's place to meet Tupac and Bigie.

"how far, una just dey come from work?" They both shook hands with us. "yes oh, we say make we reach here na, e don tay" Man said and we sat down.

Smoke your pains away, people often said. I had a pain waiting ahead, that pain was Quantun Mechnics. Such a pain couldn't just fly with the flames even if i smoked 50 jumbo wraps.

"guy u go fit stop to dey smoke igboh so?" Tupac asked Bigie, "i no go fit oh, i like igboh well well" Bigie replied. "guy, me i go soon stop Igboh oh, Igboh no get gain, i no say e no go tay before i go stop am" I said, "abeg bone that thing jor, once a smoker, always a smoker" Man said.

He was right, "once a smoker, always a smoker". Only if that smoker is unrepentant.


I believe in one thing in Life; a bad habit you started yourself, no one on earth would successfully help you stop it but yourself. And when the time is ripe for you to stop, no Jupiter could hinder you from stopping.

In my case, my time was almost ripe, i could tell. I knew i wouldn't spend more than 2years in Igboh Secondary School before i graduate.


"make we buy small Igboh wey we go put for the Spagetti and Beans wey Baba jay say him go cook dis night" Man suggested. "no wahala, buy like 500naira own na" I said offering Man 200naira.


As we left Paapa's place, Tupac said, "guys, una don hear this Tupac song, the name na Keep ya head up". "we never hear am oh" Man answered. Tupac started playing the song on his phone.

Suddenly Bigie said, "abeg wetin Tupac dey sing, Tupac na r'ubbish musician jor". "i don hear, Bigie wey no get mind, shey him fit collect 5 bullets for him chest and still survive?" Tupac said. So began a roof raising argument.


Inasmuch as my friends Tupac and Bigie took the names after the late American rappers, they were also die hard fans of the rappers. They mastered the lyrics of every of their songs, they behaved like them, they dressed like them, infact they practically worshiped them as they had two Big wallpapers of Lesane Paris Crooks a.k.a Tupac Amaru Shakur and Christopher Wallace a.k.a Bigie Smalls hung on their wall.


One thing that baffled me about these two guys were their countless Verbal attacks on each other just because of their mini-gods; Tupac and Bigie. Their arguments were mainly; who sang better between the two late rappers?


If i was to say, Tupac was a better rapper than Bigie. Tupac was more hard knocks than Bigie. I loved Tupac's songs than the songs of Bigie. But just that Igboh a.k.a m'arijuana was part of what ruined their promising singing careers.

Legend has it that when Igboh is eaten along with any food, it could be very medicinal.

Medicinal, and also it could do wonders to non smokers, it could ruin their careers/ministries.

But in Pkc's case, it was his ministry. Spagetti and Beans garnished with Igboh almost ruined his ministry.

salaudol: Flowa, with ur boxer-turned-skirt on Okada, how you come take enter your compound na? Unu get gateman that means it is fenced.

I miss that.................

Good job always Flowa!

no worry, u go later know wetin happen as you read.

bennygee: in UNILAG,we called it Omo reminders or "gbejade".e dey help well well.
flow in flowee.

As u read on, you will see new innovations in Omo Reminder. Innovations invented by Flow and Nas.

plainmirror: Flow eeeeeeh so Ʊ dey carry mgbo kirikiri enta exam abi? ♍aKƸ̵ dem no catch Ʊ Ooº°˚ ˚°ºoo .beta shak chilled 1759 b4 †нэ exam.maybe it will help Ʊ or so ℓ tot

shey i be Herbert Einstein, the father of Physics?

I carry Mgbo small na. But no be well well oh, because i no be Olodoh that time.

We came back from work early the next day, so we decided to go work out.

"Floooooooow uuuuuuuuu get muscle oh" Tony complimented my well crafted bicets and triceps, "no be today thing na" I said.

Truely, I had been working out for long, i had been working out since i was as young as 12. Born in a military Barracks where you could find a gym in every nooks and crannies was as authomatic ticket to bacome a weightlifter, if you so wish.

"Flow how far?" someone suddenly called me afar. I turned to see it was Nas.

Nas was a guy in my deparment who had spill over like me. His Birth name was Nosike, but he changed it to a more t'ush name Nas. Nas was the opposite of the American rapper Nas. He was a shadow of the rapper in terms of looks, he was as u'gly as his bass voice. Nas was very U'gly was a known fact, but he wasn't U'gly at heart because he had been helping me with atttendance and assignments in the first semester course i was spilling over. He too had carry over not in just two courses like me, but in so many courses. Infact he had a Trailer load of carry overs. One thing that Baffled me was that Nas was very Brilliant back then, but he still bagged home carry overs every semester.

"guy Exam na next week oh" Nas informed me. The information brought cold sweat out of my body because i couldn't recall the last time i opened a book to read, not to talk of a Physics book. "mehn, nawa oh, how we go do am na? na ur side i dey oh?" I said. "guy me no sabi Quantum Mechnics oh" Nas replied, "guy na Mgbo we go do for the Quantum mechanics exam oh" I concluded.

Quantum mechanics is a Branch of Physics that is as hard as building a castle in the air. It is written mostly in signs. Signs that i couldn't tell if they originated from French, Spanish, Chinese, Swahili, Yoruba, Ibo, or Hausa. I hated the course with so much passion, maybe that was why i failed it. Or maybe not.

Mgbo was a slang we said back then in school to reffer to micro chips. Micro chips are tiny sheet of papers that contained tiny written cheats taken into the exam hall, not only as a cheat but also as a reminded. Some people preffered calling it Mgbo reminder, while some others preffered calling it Expo. Expo is the National recognised name for Examination malpractice. So if i called it Expo, i would be understood all over the Cardinal points of Nigeria.

"guy i just say make i come tell u say Exam go start Next week, and Phy411 na Next week Tuesday" Nas said. "ok, you don do well, i go read na, if i no fit read, i go carry Mgbo enter the Exam" i said to Nas as i walked him out of Tony's Compound.

Although i wasn't a Doolina when i was in School, i was averagely sound academically or rather "physicsically", Mgbo was not only my reminder but my helper in the exam hall.

macderu: Cute_bliss bawo... She b medusa

Or so i tot.

deji47: hmmm!! Which lady want make i come arrange her bedsheet tonight? Oga flow more power to ya elbow.

Go arrange Cute_bliss bed na. U will enjoy her, that is if u come out alive.