₦airaland Forum

Let me pay N1,000,000.00 in used Naira notes.

What do you say?

As soon as your child begins to ask you, "Mummy, what is this?"

Teach him /her that a man is what he is a man and a woman is what she is.

Sex Education should start as soon as the child begins to get inquisitive, explore and ask questions.

7.00 am: Wake up from bed

7.00.03: Say Thank You Jesus

7.05 am: Give my wifey a wake-up peck

7.05.04 am: Rush to the Parlour for a daily dose of "My Mum & I"

7.25 am: Try as fast as I can to clean my car.

7.45 am Brush my teeth and take my bath

7.55 am Drive to work

11.00 am: come home very tired and head straight to bed.

LLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By God's Grace, This will be the best valentine I should be celebrating

I prefer Mixed schools.

After school, the graduand won't meet the opposite sex and begin to feel like: OMG! so I could actually meet a man/woman.

If you get my drift, mixed schools prepare students to start facing the reality of life earlier than single schools. Students knowingly or unknowingly begin to adjust to the opposite sex while in school and as such will be ahead in living his/her life rather than trying to start making adjustments after school.

The PDP grassroots mobilization in Bayelsa is just to massive for any other party to make any headway. You might understand what I mean until You live in Bayelsa.

The only hurdle one has to clear is getting to become the PDP flagbearer. As soon as you get that, just know it that you have won the elections. The PDP is like virus in Bayelsa, to destroy it, you have to destroy the state first, and come to think of it, how is that possible?

I need a change of tyres now. Please, Messrs Innoson be fast before I buy some Chinese/Korean/Indonesian Tyres which I believe were not produced for our kind of weather/climate.

dustydee:
A black man kills a white man in Dallas and all the white people go about killing every black man they see on the street or in their homes. Talk about civilization. And we want to be like Americans. I see.

What happens in Dallas stays in Dallas, is that not what they say?

You go to their land, they kill you.
They come to your land, they still kill you.
You want us to sit and watch abi?
My guy, You run go abroad, come dey there dey talk Dallas talk. Why you no come back to Naija, stay for Maidugari, Make we know whether you go still de talk Dallas talk. Anuofia!!!

Mobinga:
Can you imagine?

And this rubbish made the front page?

This is my most hated line on Nairaland. Please, for pete's sake what else do you want to make front page. If you have nothing to contribute to a thread just move on please. I wish I was a Mod. I hate that line" , and this made front page?" "How did this made front page". If you don't like a thread just move on please. And thanx for doing so.

If you are in Bayelsa State, the only network you can use for a seemless, sweet sailing, high flying, wonder jet internet experience is Glo 3G. It is wonderfully superfluous, and enigmatically intelligent. If you can stand fast and furious internet, then get the Glo modem.

Comparing d highlander to d accord? Hhm! Better compare d accord to d camry. What am I even saying self, d highlander is just d camry in a 4x4 body. Well, d accord is smoother & sweeter, but d highlander made up 4 dat with good ground clearance, ruggedity & durability. If you lyk sweet & sexy, go 4 d accord. But, if you want a jallopy dat is good to go at any tym, call me an Highlander.

In as much as I dn't like this Dickson guy, I dn't think the PDP has erred in anyone way by conducting this primary election. IMO, I think its the Judge that granted that Sylva the injunction that erred. The Judge ought to have known better that the electoral act which guides the conduct of elections in Nigeria clearly states that no court injunction can stop an election in the country. IMO, I suggest that such a Judge should be suspended until he/she can prove beyond reasonable doubt why such an injunction should be granted, he should also be reminded that as a Judge, his/her job is to interprete the law and sanction appropriately those that have run fowl of the law and not to cause confussion in the polity. I rest my case.

@Mr. Cork,
compare the plessure you enjoy from a free p_u_nny with that from a paid-up p_u_nny. the difference will will definitaly prove to you that the best things in life are isuallu FREE. LOL!!! Haaaaa aaaaah.

My brother, this is the end of the matter, fear God and obey His commandments.
Shikenah ahi!!!

I actually feel white cars are cheaper than other colours of cars.
In 2009, I bought my wine-coloured (somehow like gold) 2004-model Honda Accord EX Saloon car for N1.85m, at the same car mart, a white car of the same specification was going for about N1.70m, mind you that the white-coloured car had a lower mileage than my car, but I'm scared of white even with my clothes, so I opted for the coloured car instead of the cleaner cheaper one. So, do I need say mo? LOL.

Me? wetin I hate pass?
Na when I wan poke and she dey tell me one story or the other. Because whenever she want poking, I no de slack no matter how tired I dey.
Hope you get my drift? lol.

OOmpa:
My husband doesn't like confrontation. Whenever we have a problem and I want to discuss it -even in a very calm and civilised way -he clams up, shuts down and -if possible -stps talking at all. He says all he wants is peace. That dealing with problem is by leaving it behind and not discussing it.
Even after a fight, he would just like to forget it and move on, he will never apologise, or even tell me how we should improve things, what maybe I should do -if he thinks I'm guilty od something. So if he sees I am still dwelling on it, he can keep silent for 2-5 days.
Do you have a similar experience -with youself or your partner. Is it a Nigerian way -or just his own?

Your Husband is most probably a "MELPHLEG" with a greater tilt to being a "MELANCHOLY".
Before U crucify me, please read these books by Tim La Haye:
1. Why You Act the Way You Do
2. The Theory of the Temperaments
3. Spirit-Filled Temperaments
These books will give you a greater understanding on human temperaments and how to handle them. Your husband's behaviour is not a Nigerian Thing.

lagcity:
bros, i feel u. go and buy exercise equipment. i think it is cheaper than toyota hiace or hummer. hummer wont help your sex life ooo . . . at least not with your wife.

Bro! I bought exercise equipment for my wifey and she just dumped the poor thing under the bed.
I keep telling her to get fat and unleash me on the street. Ha haaa hhhaaaa!!!!!

toba:
Good job. Just pay your tithe and first fruit to us here

lol.

This is waht U should do:
1. Thank God for Seun
2. Thank Seun for Nairaland
3. Thank Nairaland for Us; and
4. Thank us for the job

Then
Pay ur tax 2 FIRS
Your Offerings to the Church
Render assistance to those in need; and lastly
Enuff GRINING BOTTLES for d boiz. ha hhha hhha .

blacksta:
“There is no way the proposed Bill will be passed because I know that legislators will not act against the wishes of their people.

Have they (Legislators) ever passed any bill that reflects the wishes of the people? Bloody buffons

blacksta:
“The entire people of the country are averse to the proposal because that is not what they expected from (Jonathan).”

Did Senetor Mamora ask me as a Nigerian My opinion of the proposal? Why does this Amala/Ewedu/Gbegiri man thinks he knows what and how I feel without even asking me. We myt be fools, but let him beware that we are not Roman fools.

blacksta:
Some eminent Nigerians, leaders of ethnic nationalities, and pro-democracy activists under the aegis of Project Nigeria, National Consensus Group, have also lent their voice to the convocation of a constitutional conference to produce a people’s Constitution.

How can this man call IBB and his ilk ethnic and pro-democracy activists? Its even very clear that these people are acting for their own selfish ends.

They usually make my wife upset any time she returns from the hair dressers.

It is not surprising, after all, everything in Oyo State has always been on "On Your Own" basis. GBAM.

I have a 6-pack in crate. Hw about that guys?

Just nursing a bottle of Star Lager Beer and nothing mo.

Hmm!

I don't know why you guys take so much pleasure in making Nigeria look worse than she is.

Its very simple, keep the rules and keep your change.
If you don't break no rule, no Policeman, Road Safety, LASTMA, Traffic Warden and so on would ask you for anything.
Its often we the law breakers that propose these money to the officials to allow us go scott-free after breaking the rules.
I have been driving my own vehicle for years in this same Nigeria and no 1 official has ever collected any money from me on the ground of anything.
Its simple like I said earlier, KEEP the RULES and KEEP your CHANGE.

God, bless my country.

Cry not my beloved country!

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Nigerian dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its greed.

I have a dream that one day on the high hills of Aso Rock, the sons of the Hoi Poloi will be able to sit down together with the sons of the bourgeoisie at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the Niger Delta, a region sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my children will one day use electricity, such that they will not know the true meaning of UP NEPA in their houses. I have a dream today!

I have a dream that my great and great great grand children will one day drive on roads in this nation where they will not be molested by hungry youths and endangered by crater-filled roads. I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, Up in the North, with its vicious extremists, with their governors having their lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in the North little Southern boys and girls will be able to join hands with little Northern boys and girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the Niger Delta with.

Missy ★ B:
https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif  

Topic :
Whoever was taken advantage of, was used and whoever was left in an unpleasant manner, was dumped. . . .Irrespective of gender. Yes, both male and female can be used and/or dumped.

Check out this scenario, especially in a developing nation like Nigeria,where everyone is looking for who to survive on: Comfortable well-to-do guy meets good-looking poor bottom-of the-social ladder girl. Brings her into his life, cleans her up (as in introduces her to good expensive clothes, perfumes, creams, other accessories - Gold earrings, BB, Recharge Cards), introduces her to his cycle of friends, take her out to exotic places and gatherings, give her top-of-the-food-chain meals, give her an education, get her a good job, maybe buys her a car too. Now, she is beautiful and socially respected as a big babe. Everybody commends her beauty, style and taste. The Guy looses his good paying job and starts teaching at a secondary school to make ends meet. The babe abandons him and tells him never to contact her again, as if he is now a virus.

That's an ideal situation of Girl using Guy.
U may ask who send am work? No 4get say the babe too been de tell am say till death do us part.

See How the Northerners have been fooling us? Power must remain in their hands, directly or indirectly.

And come to think of it, I use to like this Yayale Ahmed guy. He used to strike me as smart, genuine and legit and was also one of those who championed the handing-over of power to GEJ, I was fooled not knowing that he was tired of acting as a Defacto President (May be na because dem no de pay am like Presido na im make d thing tire am quick). Cry not, My Beloved Country and In God We Trust.

dayokanu:
Pls who was President from May 2010 to May 2011?

If GEJ had started on his own immedaitely after being made president after Yar'Adua's daeth, I'm so sure you will be d 1st person to complain of him derailing Yar'adua's agenda. Now, the man has been elected on his own merit and he wants to run the government the best way he can, you stll won't let him even take-off. I'm so sure you hate anything that doesn't smirk of military fiat and alacrity.