₦airaland Forum

There was once I hate a combo of hard boiled beans, Soyabeans, 2 hard-boiled eggs, a wrap of okpa and a wrap of moin-moin, all washed down with a chilled 'Who Send You Come' cup of kunu. Do you want to know the result?

No body slept that night until I was sent out of the house to the hospital at about 12.30am.

Guys and Babes in the house, what is the worst combo of food you have ever eaten in one meal in your entire life? Lets keep it rolling men!!!

Be rin buga (in Hausa) - kick the ball to any direction, irrespective of the positioning of your co-players.
Passim ball (In Igbo) - Pass me the ball.
Sunday Rangers - Ibo traders that do play football only on sundays.
Peter Rufai - To dive blindly.
ojoro - Being partial (i. e. poor officiating).
Belle face - A player who kicks the ball to any direction, irrespective of the positioning of his co-players.
Sorle (in Yoruba) - A quick low short pass.
Tipping - To kick the ball with the toe in such a way that it lifts off the ground and over the next person (actually called chipping in football).
Tapping - One-touch football where you make quick short passes to fasten the tempo of the game.
Trigger - Take a good shot at goal.
Gba ya shot (in Igbo) - Take a shot at goal.
Bolon bolo - To kick the ball into the air or very high over the bar.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD13SrgLiYM

Well done. That was a good PHOTOSHOPPED work.
The person with the arrow actually looks like someone I know sha.
What beats my imagination is how you were able to plant those guns on them convincingly. You try sha.

Like Ibori, Like Uduaghan. Its only time that separate the 2. Mu he he eheehe eh mu haha ha ah aha

The pix is like the cover jacket for "Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves" Movie.

usanieja: Calabar, this is one city in modern day Nigeria that started building roads with good drainages and pavements, apart from Abuja, i believe all other Governors emulated this from Donald Duke particularly most southern Governor

That was then, but this is now. Roads in Calabar are depreciating fast and nobody I repeat, NOBODY is doing anything about them.

I have been traveling round the Country (except for the North: West & East) for the better part of the later part of last year and have seen many good roads spring up in certain cities while some roads are depreciating and left unattended to in some cities.

Without mincing words, I think It is Uyo
But Abuja's roads are the best but its Federal all through.

I will still give it to Uyo 'til further notice.

tellwisdom: WTF is this?? This aint making one iota of sense as far as im concern

Then, BEAT IT.

Lionel Messi - D Merciless
Michael Essien - Eshin (Work horse)
Arsene Wenger - L' Proffeseur
Zlatan Ibrahimovic - Ibro
Mario Balotelli - Wayward
Frank Lampard - Lampsi
Rio Ferdinand - Amugbo (Igbo smoker)
Roman Abramovic - Many Money
Ramires - Aboki
Fernando Torres - Waste Pipe

I noticed with disdain how; many women including my wife, mother, sisters, female colleagues and friends will do or give anything to a pastor or church.

Recently, a female relation of mine gave her last money grudgingly as tithe in the church only to approach me to help her settle some bills. Was I mad? I had to admonish her that Tithe is not a Christian doctrine and that there is no point in depriving one's self of hard-earned money in the name of tithing, but, all she said is that God should have mercy on me and forgive me. I tried to take her through the Bible to see what God's idea for tithing was, but she refused after quoting the usual, Malachi 3. I then told her never to come to me for any form of assistance, if she can have enough money to take to Church as Tithe and will not have even food to eat. I told her off and that I'll not give her a dime of my money, let her go to the Pastor to help her out, since he promised her blessings after tithing.

Some days later, I was chatting with a businesswoman and the issue of tithe came up and I tried to let her know that Tithe is not a doctrine from Christ and that there are also many other things the so-called Pastors won't tell her and also that the Israelites were to pay their tithes only to priests from the house of Aaron. She was like WTF is wrong with you? Didn't you know My Pastor said this and My Pastor said that. I tried to take her through the Bible to make her see that most of the doctrines she thought are Christian doctrines are actually the machination of men that call themselves MOGs and she too was like the Devil is using you.

It got me thinking and I was like: What is it with women and religion sef?

I know very well there are bashers on Nairaland and a lot of people who don't think straight, I also know there are so much people that know their onions and are very knowledgeable and as such I look forward to all forms of answers but my major question is: Whats your take on the subject.

alj harem: Maybe it is high time Ijaw people realise that GEJ is not for Ijaw but for Nigerians.

My Brother! I sincerely agree with you, but, what you should know is that the Ijaws are not tribalists, nepotists or bigots, they are open-minded people that believe that human live should be improved upon every minute that passes and not to argue mundane things that bears us no good.

alj harem: This term "our oil" "our son" etc it is really annoying and the blackmail has to end.

Whenever, GEJ makes an error, they call him "the Drunken Fisherman" here on NL and nobody says anything. If you have read my previous posts, I have always insisted that no matter where he is from or who he may be, once elected and sworn-in, he is the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and everybody should respect him as such, but, many people here on NL who feels he is from a minority tribe thinks otherwise.

jason123: Is this what the office of the presidency has been reduced to, a fight between tribalists and religious bigots? SMH! I weep for my Nation!

Even if you didn't read the opening post, you should have at least read the subject before posting na. LOL. It clearly states 'Konbowei Benson Friday, Bayelsa Speaker' and not the Presidency Mr.

Gideonyte: My brother you can forget these tribalists, many of them don't even know what their talking about! I can list hundreds of fields that I have worked on and >80% of them are on Ijaw land. Actually all of Shell's billion barrel fields (except offshore Bonga) are actually on Ijaw land. As for those who keep shouting about Lagos IGR, it would surprise you to note that Lagos has over 100 viable tax paying companies and a friend who works in Chevron once told me that Chevron alone pays over N800m in taxes every month to lagos statement govt! Just imagine what the total amount would be when you add what the other oil companies pay. This was the reason why there was so much anger when NLNG was asked to relocate.

You are right on point, Brother. If all the oil companies relocate away from Lagos to where they have their highest operations, lets see how these moffos will be screaming "Lagos State generates the highest revenue in Nigeria".

@ Shymmex and co, I don't blame you. If not that Seun is an outstanding Yorubaman with his idea of Nairaland, I would have known what to tell you. However, you speak like a very myopic, uneducated, silly opportunist who thinks Naija is all about Lagos. Simple geography we all started learning from SS 1, you still don't know at this age. Well, if the Ijaw youths had insisted that all the oil companies operating within their land should move their head offices from Lagos to the State where they have the greatest operations, I don't think you would have had anything to say, but fortunately for you, they (the Ijaws) didn't.

The Ijaws are not as cowardly as the Yorubas. If you doubt that, just go to Ajegunle in your Yoruba Lagos and ask about what the Ijaws did to the Yorubas some years back.

One evidence that points to the quantity of oil produced by each state can be seen in the monthly Tell magazines where they publish Revenue shared by the Federal Government every month. Please, check the column for 13% Derivation to get some education you are obviously lacking.

It hurts and irks so much when you sincerely contribute so much to a nation's coffers to enhance development and gets so little, while some people who thrives on their laziness in the name of professorship and high-learnedness and achieves nothing but mud houses and squealing poverty (Ekiti for instance) make some noise and talk rubbish on an internet forum. For once, let me ask: WHAT ARE THE YORUBA PEOPLE CONTRIBUTING TO THE REVENUE GENERATED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT? I beg and wait for an answer. Seun, if you like ban me. That buffoon, Shymmex or whatever has touch something he dared not even look at.

tayoccu: @ op
I suggest you both pray about it, and do whatever the holy spirit instructs you to.

Its obvious that you are back from Church. How was the "Anointing Service" today. lol.

olowolekan: May the Lord open your eyes before you put urself into bondage.A divorcee!You better run for ur dear life.

I'm so sure you are either a teenager, in your very early twenties or just schmuck. You wreak of Childhood fantasies and juvenile deliquencies. I have always insisted that children should always listen to adults when they talk. Just because you have access to a hand-held device (Phone) that can get you on the net, you feel you can come to Nairaland and exhibit your childishness. Who told you that marrying a divorcee puts one into bondage? You actually speak as if marrying a divorcee means the termination of one's useful life, abi the divorcee no be human being?

If its an "Assembled in Nigeria Vehicle", it doesn't add up to anything

Because:

There was a Peugeot Assembly in Kaduna. (PAN)
There was a Volks Wagen Assembly in Lagos.
There was a Steyr Assembly in Bauchi.
There was a Mercedes Heavy duty Assemby in Enugu (ANAMMCO)

But,
If it is a totally made in Nigeria vehicle, then its a good thing and the first of its kind.

Then Kudos to Mr Innocent!

Ever read "Odd World" in the papers?
This should be a major hit. e e e e e ya ya ya ya ya yo!

Whats even wrong with you guys. My mum was far much sexier than this hippo when she was 48. Whats sexy about a pair of saggy b'oo'bs, a protruding tummy and a straight lined hip. Its pathetic of you think she is sexy just because she's Queen Latifah. Our own Lepacious Bose is far sexier than this ruler-shaped thing. lol.

E52, E71, E66, E63, E75, E72 are all very good Nokia fones I have used.
As for now I suggest U just go get an E5, I bought mine last month for N30,000.00; and make a tidy savings of about N20,000.00
There is absolutely nothong you want from a Nokia fone that it won't offer you.
Congratulations! and welcome 2 the eldorado of Nokia phone possibilities. I rest my case.

17th March, 2012. Just sent for today's (18th March, 2012) papers. That is one of the risks involved in being a P. A.

You have to read even when you are supposed to be "OFF" and relay everything of interest to your Principal. Actually, I can't do without buying the papers (The Nation, Guardian, Punch, Vanguard and This Day) and periodicals (Tell, Newswatch and The Source), 'cos if I don't I get queried and made to pay their double costs. We also do make a collection of these papers so as to have an information base on which to write articles and quell arguments (funny . Right?) Not so funny after you see the looks on people's faces when you back up your arguments with paper publications. Lest I forget, I love the articles and Opinions, they are so incisive, educative and eye opening, and can't do without Sunday Punch because of the "Automedics" section, being an Auto Enthusiast. The Glitterati pull out in Thisday's sunday editions is something the wifey looks forward to.

See why I just can't stop buying hard copies even if I have read most of the news one way or the other.

My 1st LCD was an LG 32', d 2nd was a Samsung LCD 32' (Series 3), d 3rd was a Panasonic Viera 32' LCD, then a Sony Bravia 32', a Samsung 32' (Series 5) & currently, it is a Samsung LED (Series 6) 46'.

Among all d TVs I have used above, I must confess that the Samsung is far ahead on picture quality, while the Viera was far better in terms of Sound quality. On the whole, I prefer d Samsung LED, it has better pictures & crispier sound, though, the Panasonic had better sound as in thicker bass.

In short, I would buy a Samsung LED any day any amount.

Well Beaf, Why is everyone avoiding your questions? Maybe its because, they know their states are nothing but parasites on the wealth of other states.

I am from Bayelsa and my state contributes a lot of oil revenue which Naija has been exploiting to no end without any recourse to what we the Bayelsans stands to gain or loose. This is actually not fair o and I know God will punish all those mallams that made our country like this.

Hi! Inspired.

Please, help me check this VIN: 19UUA5662YA016148.

email: ilsignorzax@yahoo.com

Please, help me check this vin: 19VVA5662VA016148.

You can also mail to: ilsignorzax@yahoo.com

In as much as I wish to agree with the OP, I beg to disagree.

The general assumption in buying a used car is based on Ceteris Paribus. The assumption that all things being equal, that is, it is assumed that all the cars are serviced and maintained as at and when due since the current buyer may not know the previous user and as such dealers prefer to use the mileage of the car to determine its wear and tear rather than its condition of use which could not be vouched for. I hope am making sense here.

Lets assume Seun bought a brand new 2000 model car in late 2000 and sparingly uses the car because he's always on NL trying to change its outlook and performance.lol. While Sienna bought a brand new 2011 model car in mid 2011, but he is an ibo chap that is always on the road for one business or the other 24/7.lol; and in 2012, the two cars were put up for sales at Inspire_Autos. Now let me say this: ceteris paribus, it would be assumed that Seun's car will have low mileage and very dispersed servicing record, while Sienna's car will have very high mileage and a tight servicing record. Now, a buyer, Olubainc may not have been privileged to know the service records of the two cars and as such may have to make a choice based on an assumption. Now to my question: If not the mileage, what should he use to determine the wear and tear of the car for which he is not privy to the service records? Please, bear in mind that Seun's car is a clean 2000 model with low mileage, while Sienna's car is a clean 2011 model with high mileage.

Keep the answers rolling as this man needs some education here.

E be lyk sai something de wrong with all of una? Becos him be SLS make im no chop kpomor. Nigerians una sha wicked.

Make I even ask dis question wey de bother me: Wu snap the pix? Wetin de person dey do for wia SLS de sef? That is assuming it is not Photoshopped.

I keep wondering why Nigerians usually serve visitors at least 2 pieces of meet, if and only if it is beef, pork, goat, sheep or dog meat, but never 2 or more pieces of chicken or bush meat. Why? Just asking sha.

Bros, my elder bros was once swindled on such "buy it from America" deals. The sevond time, he was lucky to get a sweet powerful clesn Toyota SUV which was worth his while. But, I must warn you like every other person that the wait could really be heart-rending.

Seun, Nairaland is your vision and no one, I mean no one including me can tell you what to do with it.

IMO, I think we are kinda used to the old Nairaland and as such, this new one is looking kinda strange and unfriendly. But I do believe we'll get used to it over time and may even come to appreciate it better. Nobody tells Zuckerberg what to or not to do about FB. Lets give Seun the props, I believe he is getting on to something that we will all eventually like better.

Seun, Please keep the fire burning.

For Federal Polytechnics,
It ranges from N92,800.00 to N120,000.00 for Assistant Lecturer, equivalent of Graduate Assistant in the University.

For Federal Polytechnics,
It ranges from N92,800.00 to N120,000.00 for Assistant Lecturer, equivalent of Graduate Assistant in the University.