₦airaland Forum

CashVessel:
Story for the gods ' your heart is broken into thousands of pieces' yet you want advice? You should know what to do then from your experiences.

When did I ask anyone for advice?

DonTim1:
say ur no contact rule has worked for u 5 years down, then u find yourself in a position where u have to seek help (job,health, connection etc) from this your EX, and u are sure its the easy way and he will help, you'll still not contact?

i dont believe in burning bridges as ur no contact rule suggest, i believe its better you dont contact except its important, life saving / improving and keep the conversation on point, no talks of the 'before'.

some people are meant to be friends and not lovers, when they breakup and at least have an 'ok' relationship , they can still have purpose or influence in eachothers life.

from personal experience, i have exe's who have contributed to my personal growth and me likewise just because we didn't burn the bridge

I didn't suggest burning bridges. I suggested that if you love that person so much, this is a way to get over it and move on.

Maybe in a few years you will be able to talk again - who knows? But this is for heartbroken people whose exes have dumped them, not a mutually agreed breakup.

louken:
story. you probbly have done same to a guy.

I haven't. I respect people.

DrHighchief:
Y did u go 4 yrs without a man? But u v tasted the rod?

No. Why woulf I want to without love?

Blackfire:
white rice or jellof?

Jellof. Thanks.

kunlexze:
Experiencing similar issue recently. She just stopped calling me since may14 and her phone is always switched off even up till this moment. she only flashed my number twice last sunday hiding her number(no number) but i got to know through "True caller" application that she was the one and immediatly after flashing she switched off her phone again

we had no disagreement or whatsoever, but flashing me with a "no number" and switching off her phone afterwards is like she is teasing me.

Foolinlove ur advise is needed

Sounds like she is playing childish games. She'll turn her phone on to see the messages and missed calls etc but won't actually speak wit you.

My only advice can be to do the no contact rule wit her. Don't attempt to communicate with her, just wait, and she might contact you.

Unless she speaks to you you can have no idea whay she is thinking or doing.

If she calls you, talk to her and listen to her reasons. Let her know how you feel about this things. So you can get closure to this thing. Then it is back to no contact.

She sounds like an attention seeker to me.

If she had the ability to flash your phone, then she had 30 to send a text to explain herself. I personally think she has moved on but wants you to stroke her ego. I think you should move on too.

If you can't move on without closure, then give urself closure: send a text telling her you won't be chasing her anymore and it is over. Then move on.

Hope this helps.

dukeprince50:
nice move, bt nothin is better than telling her eye to eye, since she didnt call back, who knws if she's tryin 2 commit suicide. Nxt tym go straight up and tel anyone u wanna brk up wit, jst believ dat d way u wil feel wen she brk up wil b d way she wil feel if u brk up... When u c ha nxt, try nt keep malis wit ha cos dats wat always apen wen ppl brk up, cal ha and smile wen u c her, even if its fake, u dnt knw d power of smilin, nt smirk o. Make it lyk notin apen, u wil be relievd, i broke up wit my first grl bt til 2day she stil com 2my hauz, cook 4me, nd ask me to walk wit ha. My secret is smile

I don't recommend. This will just give her hope for future wit you together again. She is very emotional then best to cut off contact ao she can try to move on.

IndecentStar:
i have send the msg for over 30min now and to my suprice she didnt call me i think thats a good sign for nw ur guys rock.foolinlove.dukeprince50

You're welcome - all the best. Now go read my thread on no contact rule. For u and for her.

It's called the:

Mother/wh0re dichotomy.

Look it up. Google is yo friend

Blackfire:
what do u want for breakfast?

Rice.

Akjr:
mean wah Mk it clear 2 me pls.. Cox nw ah hav d feelnx dah m quotin a dude. Badfeelings.

I'm not a dude, but seems like the only thing men can say on here. Why? I have nothing to hide or prove. Just go on wit your day. God bless.

dukeprince50:
we men ar nt actually what grls think we her, d reason we brk up isnt because dere is anoda kittycat waitin outside, we can cheat, bt neva brk up cos of a cat, we brk up cos we tired of d r.ship. U get? U nt a man so dnt lectur me on wat i am.

There are lots of reason to break up. Not always because of other girl. But u will get interested in other girl, if u stay in relationship that u tired of for too long.

That's my reasoning for using cheating as a reason. Say "I want to date other people." She will be grateful you broke up because that means she won't be cheated. That's all.

dukeprince50:
d fact dat he's scared 2 tel ha mean he stil care abt her feelins, i knw a guy, afta havin sex wit a grl, he opened his door and ask d grl to get out, very disgraceful. Though its a revenge, bt he went 2 far

You can care for someone but not love and date them. That's fine. But sometimes u have to be hurtful to be kind in the long run. So that she have a chance to get someone that truly love her.

And yes, is disgraceful behaviour you described. Slap-worthy.

Is normal. Don't worry. Not all ladies like every kind of d. Is like food. Everyone have different tastes.

dukeprince50:
dat wil b bad, y ask ha dat? U might make her neva trust a guy, jes tel ha straight u wanna brk up, i knw d reason ur breakin up is nt cos u want 2 hav mor grls bt cos ur tired of d r.ship, so better b sincere, she might feel bad bt its a risk worth takin, ur free and shes free

Exactly. You want to date others, so would she prefer you break up with her and be honest, or just cheat and treat her bad? She will not have trust issues because you actually beung honest - you telling her you want others BEFORE you actually do it. You get?

IndecentStar:
Thanks ama do that nw and get back to u later,have missed her calls eight times already,i pray that wil work...plus u said u know me,if i may ask from where?

It will work, but she will be hurt. But look on the positive - neither of you are trapped in this any more.

Be gentle, be kind. But be concise - it's over, I dint love you, we won't get back together, thank you.

She may be crazy when u tell her but it'll get better if you practise the no contact rule for her - look at my other post.

Let us know how it goes. God be with you.

I meant to say I know you scared.

Otunbalai:
tell me you're kidding me? you re on a long thing .

I'm no prostitute. I'm not having s3x for money, I'm doing it for committed love relationship only.

Blackfire:
*sips kunu*

look at u.

*sips kunu*

look at u again.

*sips kunu*

Dirty man

IndecentStar:
Thanks but do u think it would work,cuz i dnt want her waitimg for me on my door step with bottle ready to break it on my head

If you don't love her you have to let her go. You want to date other people. Ask if she'd prefer you to cheat, because that's what you'll do.

IndecentStar:
i want a break up with my bea,but the problem is i know emotional she get she can kill us both and i dnt want that,she thinks her life envolve around mine but i want he to see the bigger piture i dnt want her to loose the opportunity of meeting the man of life by tieing her down.
My prob nw is hav cut all contact betwing but allas she stil went ahead to report me to my family and friends.
And i cnt look her in the eyes and say its over them no born me well,

Ps. I know who u are

IndecentStar:
i want a break up with my bea,but the problem is i know emotional she get she can kill us both and i dnt want that,she thinks her life envolve around mine but i want he to see the bigger piture i dnt want her to loose the opportunity of meeting the man of life by tieing her down.
My prob nw is hav cut all contact betwing but allas she stil went ahead to report me to my family and friends.
And i cnt look her in the eyes and say its over them no born me well,

So send a text, you don't need look her in the eye. She deserves to know you don't want her and don't truly love her.

She will get over it. She may report you. But with time it will get better for her. Don't keep her hanging on for something that won't happen.

Follow the format:
It's over.
I don't love you.
I will date other people.
Thank you.

louken:
it's not because of lack of respect. actually whoever I decide to date deserves my respect, but sometimes we break up believing that the grass is greener on the other side. you may just end up discovering that you made a mistake and may want to go back to the girl you left.

So you prefer to keep her hanging on to you "just in case"? Let her be with someone who is sure he loves her.

Blackfire:
i may be wrong, but almost every god forsaken heartless player/ casanova u see today was once a good guy.

Some women create the monsters they see today.

Like i said i may be wrong.

The inverse also applies. Behind every broken woman is a man who broke her.

enygmababe:
@foolinlove, love can be a beautiful thing but just like life, love is only perfect in mills and boon and Harlequin.

You have been hurt but you will survive it. It may feel like it is forever but it is not.

You will be fine. Just keep going and focus on developing yourself. My motto is if it does not work out, it wasn't meant to be. Set targets for yourself and move on. The wounds will heal and someday when he sees you stronger than you are now, he will ask himself why he left.

The best revenge you can give him is to excel beyond his wildest dreams. *hugs

Thanks. I never expected love to be perfect - just faithful amd honest.

But anyway, I hope this thread encourages people in that so that one day everyone can find their true love. Instead of using people as commodities and moving on leaving a train disaster behind them.

gensteejay:
I also love how black Americans speak English -- the educated ones in particular -- than white Americans. I see you love engaging in arguments. You are also good at presenting your points. Sometimes, you just risk being misunderstood due to the pain from your past relationships.

I hope you meet your prince charming in no distant time, who will shower you with love and care and correct the notion which is deep-rooted in your mind that all men are 'bad'. There are still many good men out there; I hope you will recognize their kind nature when you come across them.

I agree I was a bit hasty in hating all men. There must be some good men somewhere. I just haven't come across any :/

menxer:
After reading your comments, I felt sad that you held yourself down for so long in the name of "you loved him truly and he broke your heart into a thousand pieces," that is a pathetic reason to live your life by.

If you didn't know, you are here on earth to learn overcoming by/through the experiences in your life.
And so far from your confessions you are comfortable sitting by the well enjoying the pity till Jesus comes by, instead of raising your eyes, mind and heart above the mentality of brokenness to joy that is still locked in a piece of your broken heart.

There is a broken heart that a piece of yours would fit in and complete, look up, he is out there.

I'm not asking for pity. I've made a decision, justified it and no one seems to want to accept ir respect that.

louken:
you made good points Op but I still don't totally buy the idea

Why? Too much effort to show some respect? Too afraid to show respect?

This advice is for guys as well as girls. Both need to respect or else it's drama time.

Ever thought doing this would SAVE you some drama? The drama of being chased ny a person you don't want. Them asking "why you don't talk me waaaaah " etc etc.

enygmababe:
Looool. I see you have experience in this matter

Yet he's still alive to tell the story... hmmmm.

Jay542:
False.
The only thing that will make you not cheat is the 'Fear of God'.

If you have God in your relationship then you know true love. And then you don't cheat.

falconey:


lol you are hallucinating

I don't think you know whay that word means. Anyway, enjoy ur loveless life

doskie:
yeah the way black Americans speak varies with their place in the society and their level of education. The educated ones use correct diction but with different accent from the whites and i am still baffled by how this is possible despite the fact that they were born there. It is perfectly correct that the English language here has been isolated from its source. But with internet: a channel for major exposure, one would think it should get better at least among our graduates here, but.. Oh! Here we are.

Yeah but ppl can't really be blamed. Education levels differ, some ppl don't know how to educate and some people... well, they're just stupid :/

Uchihaitaci:
You are a guy.

Is that meant to be an insult? I'm stupid, fkd up etc... because I'm a guy? Lol. Check yourself.