₦airaland Forum

Successtube:
I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.

Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.

“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.

But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.

My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.

I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.

The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.

I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!

As it is now, your happiness is in another person's pocket, so follow uoir heart and go wherever it is leading you

Marriage is not a child's play
If you can't cope leave before it's too late and she too will move on

We all must not get it right in marriage with our partner

Trenow:
Hi guys I need an advice,my brother have being in a heartbroken situation right now after finding out that this wife is dating a local yahoo scammer for long now up to 2 year now.

She has been sending money to the guy to the tune up to 500k and the guy keeps promising her heaven and earth that when he cash out from his foreign client he is going to take her in.
This my brother wife is someone with 6 children,my brother had forgiving her the first but she later continue with the same guy this year, not minding the financial difficult my brother is having his wife will have mind to be doing this nonsense somebody has no main work..

Please is there any Agency or. office that can handle this matter to be able to recover the funds from the person,we have his number and their WhatsApp chat

Well nothing can be done because its equally expensive to track such people using police technology device

My thinking is that, the guy must have been scoping your brother wife with sweet mouth and lovely words that turns her on and make her fall to the extent of spending money on an invisible man

It may still continue unless she changes her phone number

Techie25:
I used to think I'm an introvert but these little days I've stayed alone, Omo I doubt I'm even an ambivert. Staying alone is kinda crazy, Upon I take myself out, Buy pepper soup, buy drinks, bring in girls once in a while but still. I feel lonely and empty.

I once made a thread about not feeling alive, I'm kinda linking it to this.

As I'm typing this, I'm even thinking of moving back to my parents house, Stay one year and refresh because I really don't understand what's happening or what's wrong, Nothing seems to excite me anymore nor makes me happy.

They're all temporal just like drugs.

I'm not addicted to anything, Whether drugs or smoke or whatsoever.

I'll need an advise on what to do.

Please Note: I'm not depressed.

You Need a girlfriend to start with

Some one you can discuss with

Someone that shares the same value and reasoning

Someon that her presense brings life to your living

Start from there first

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to my nairalanders family, God bless you all in all ramifications. I know some will be familiar with my stories here, if you are not, you can visit my profile to get familiar.

My girlfriend have been living with me for a month now and reason I took her in was that she was kicked out from her friend she shared an apartment with and got no choice than to accept her briefly pending when she gets her own accomodation. Initially I thought it will be beneficial she staying as I expect her to support but she is sole dependent on me even knowing that she works and earn well. Now the narrative is changing as this my girlfriend is getting too relaxed, comfortable and looks like she doesn't want to leave again and want us to live together. At first I wanted this cos I expected she will also contribute in the house but I noticed she has been keeping her money to herself despite her working and depending on me solely and making me take husband responsibility that I have not signed for. She is kinda lazy even despite her living with me, I still do my chores ,clean and attimes cook. She only do these once in a while. There was a time she wanted to do her laundry, our dirty cloths was in the basket, she picked only her own dirty cloths and left mine to wash her own alone, I was surprised she acted that way despite the help I rendered for her. I was divorced 2years ago and don't even want to think about another marriage any time soon cos of the issues,stress and responsibility involved in marriage, now it seems this girl is driving me to that route which am not even ready or prepared for. The last time I told her to get her apartment before this month end, she didn't take it well with me, she started crying and manipulating me emotionally. To myself, even if you want us to live together as couple atleast I should know your parents and do something on your head to prove that we are both married but truth be told, am not ready for such for now, am not ready for marital commitment. Pls house, advice me on how to navigate through this situation, how can I get her to leave my apartment nice, as it is now, I don't even care if her leaving will be the end of the relationship, cause I remember she mentioned that if she leaves, she won't come to my house again never I just want to have my place to myself so I can plan and focus with the little am managing instead of her adding to my responsibility which am not st for. Pls if you have once been in this situation, kindly drop some tips and advice that will help me out on this cos it's giving me sleepiness night and I don't want to treat her harshly or rudely. I will appreciate all you inputs

You sound weak and may not be able to take any action. If you are serious, give her some amount like 40k, tell her you are travelling to bring your mom or siblings and ask her to find a place to stay, as you are telling her on a Saturday morning, gather her things for her

Just lock the door and leave, keep a spy to monitor when she leaves, replace the key immediately and sleep elsewhere that week

By the time she checks on you and your key has been changed she will get the message faster

Dont block her, read her messages on chat but don't reply

Anytime you are at home, lock the door inside till you senses that she is gone for good

If you see her around you, just ignore her and walk past her

Next time you will not bring in a woman and after using her you then want to throw her out

sylve11:
😆 🤣

😅😅😅😅

Dilaminu:
Please help, what can I do to make my husband angry reduce. How do you deal with easy to get angry husband?

If you are the one that triggers his anger, then adjust in areas that triggers him

If he is the one that triggers his anger, then take time to study him

All angers have triggering factors, find out what triggers him

AlphaNugget:
Appreciation is good.......but still no let that thing deceive you. Shey you know how many dick she fu*k and suck? Lol, the revelation will shock you if you are a bloody simp!

Above all, invest in your sister or any boy from the gutter and quit investing in another man's daughter, that gender wey dey bend down piss will surely make you regret your actions!!!!!

For spewing rubbish, may you meet your match that will give you the experience you need with women in real life.

Stop deceiving men if you don't believe in helping people in need

nams77:
Kindly disregard these children. Them never know wetin dey. If you want to identify with your maternal side, then the family will have series of meetings. All these children wey dem born for town wey no know tradition

😅😅😅 I swear

Afonja101:
honestly you're so on point. I think that is what i should do but my wife would be angry about it. Well, to hell with her.

If you wife will be angry let her be, this particular call will stop her from listening to nonsense from family members

What concerns you now is to redeem your name and not her reaction

After all she didn't care to defend you when that statement was made

Afonja101:
I've been married for the past 6years and blessed with two(2) kids. I'm just a guy hussling from being a teacher, house agent etc. My cousin came to visit me last week, he arrived when i was about going out, so i told him to just stay and wait for me since i won't stay out long. Never knew they had discussions with my wife before i came back. So when i back we gisted, ate together and laughed. Later in the evening when he was leaving i escorted him to get a cab then while i was escorting him, he said he need small cash like 5k from me cos he wants to travel to Abuja, then i told him honestly i don't have money but i can send 3k to his account and he said no problem, then when he left I send the 3k to him, till today he hasn't called to say he has seen it or even thank you. Then Fast forward to today. I woke up from bed and was pressing my phone then my wife said she has something to ask me and i said to her go ahead, the next thing she asked was, did you go anywhere to get money? I answered how cos i don't understand, then she said my cousin brother told her that it seems i went somewhere (charm or babalawo) with my friends to get money because i don't like helping anybody in the family including him, that we were told not to help anybody with the money, infact the way he told my wife is as though he followed us to the place. According to her he also said i have money yet look at the phone she is using and also the phone i am using, that none of us is using a good phone.
I would have said maybe one of my friend tried to tarnish my image by telling him all these but my brother only knows two of my friends and those two, i can confidently tell you that he can't remember the last time he saw them because they don't stay in town and secondly talk has never joined any of them back in those days around 2007-2010 that he use to see them when he comes to my place.

Imagine what my own cousin brother would tell my wife...? I'm still in shock, how much do I have that i would help someone who doesn't have any responsibility? He's not married, neither does he have children. While i have a wife, 2 children and one of my late cousin's daughter staying with me because she's an orphan.

I'm the only one who knows the stress i face daily to cater for them. Yet, he says i don't like helping him or anyone in the family as if i have millions. I've never gone to any babalawo or whatever, I've never seen one with my eyes. To some extend I don't really trust my wife right now because only God know the conversation that led him to say all these.
Please guys what do you think?

I think you should make a call and put it on 🔊, ask him if he received the money you sent to him

Followed by the gossip he had with your wife. Ask him about all your wife said about his statement.

Wether he accepts it or not tell him to stop coming close to your wife and your home because that statement he made is already breaking your home apart

After that make sure he head you, then tell him good bye

Dont ever call him again

Then over to your wife, face her for not defending you while he makes that statement

This will sound as a warning to her and other related issues that may come up with such from other external family members

jaksmillioniar:
My baby girl will be 4 years in december to enter nursery2 soon I wish to ask dat how can I make her speak good English. I see some children dat Neva even travel out yet wen dey talk dey speak like oyibo. Thier English is so nice. I dont speak English to her cos is important she learn yoruba now. Dan I Neva want dat she cant cos I wish to travel abroad soon. The problem is dat I put her in a skool were I pay over 100k a big skool yet I Neva like how she talk. I meet d H.M she say dat dey try dia best I dont know weda to change her skool. Also I warn my wife not to speak yoruba to her but she wont listen she disobey me. As dad I speak yoruba to her why u as mum do same. It alredy causing issue between me and my wife. Wat can I do?

The fault is actually from both of you

Most children in cities like Lagos, speaks English Language first before native language, even in school it's English and not native. It may also affect her in school communications

So you guys frustrated that for her and she followed your native language first

The way out is for you guys to start speaking English language to her so that she can meet up with it, when she gets use to English language you start introducing native language

LVStone:
Hello everyone,

I am married for five years now and I love my marriage.

I have an issue and I need your advice on how to detach myself from being emotionally connected to my wife.

She mostly have mood swing and I use to have issues attending to her emotions, I want to always at each time check what exactly as gone wrong and how I can fix.

Most often I apologize because I want peace(she picks fault easily and gets angry)

The worst is that we do have sex but we mostly don't make love;

My wife hates being romantic, I can't play with my wife's breasts or buttocks, 90% of the times I tried she says she doesn't want.

I do ask the following questions

1. Am I not attractive?
2. Don't you have emotional attachment to me?
3. Why did you marry me if 1&2 are yes?
4. Is there something I did wrong?
5. Are you thinking about something?
6. Is there something i need to do?

In all she will Only say she doesn't just want it.

It happened that this evening, she was on the couch and I tried touching her best in a romantic way, she immediately changed her mood and said I should leave her as usual.

I asked her why she did that and she said that doing that will turn her on and she doesn't want to be turned on. I then asked if it was a crime for a married woman to be turned on, she said she doesn't want to be turned on because she doesn't want it to lead to sex because she doesn't want sex.

Again I have still not understood how a married woman who claims not to be having any emotional/phycological issues and no offense from the husband will avoid being romantic or being sexual with her husband.

If I need sex she gives as a duty, but I need more than sex, I need a romantic contact mind you i dont have extramarital affairs.

I feel very stupid, I feel like a fool, I feel I am too emotionally connected to her.

How can I stop having feelings for her? As in including sexual feelings for her? I wish I can also give her sex as a duty any day or year she needs it too.

Please I need help on how to do this.

I will appreciate mature responses without insults.

Thanks

The summary of all you just narated here is that, she is not romantic and probably may not have feelings for you

To her sex with her is a task for her and most times she is not in the mood

So you just have to deal with it

Just get her pregnant and she will totally distance herself from you

Then you can sort yourself out as you wish

Body no be wood

highchief1:
lol ashawo spotted

You are a nuisance

Jejesamzy:
Well, I didn't bring her out of her family house. It's a long story but I didn't bring her out of her family house.

Ok

ChizzyBuna:
So this hookup girl Sabi book well well

Very senseless statement

pyyxxaro:
Hope he won’t start scratching their mum’s back later

There is nothing wrong with that, she will still get someone who will do that for her and if it happens to be him then she is dam lucky as she will not lack anything

Pls guys in Manchester, tell me more about that city, I will be travelling soon for vacation and which hotel can you recommend that is not too far from the airport

Which tourist centres do you recommend I visit

For those of you living there, what is life there like

Looksee:
Guys please i need your help. I booked an air france ticket from Manchester Airport to Nigeria and stop over will be in Paris. Do I need a transit visa because i got a mail and it is confusing. I will not be leaving the airport or anything i will just connect my flight to Nigeria from Paris. Is there anyone that had same issue in recent time.

If you need a transit visa it will be a EU visa which must be indicated in the course of booking a ticket which will enable you go to town in Paris

But since it wasn't indicated you will have to stay at the airport for the layover and wait for your connecting flight

Pikadili:
Hi Everyone,

Please I need clarity on the issue above, if my daughter of one and eight months is done eating, ten to fifteen minutes interval she will start crying for food again.

Isn't this abnormal?

Is normal she plays and burns those energy so she needs food

So far she is willing to eat give her food and make sure she has enough

Jejesamzy:
Good day everyone.

I need your advice on this.

Please, this is very serious to me and I beg you to not troll


I am a graduate and finished school in 2019. I am the only son my parents had and I am 25 years old.

In 2020, I started programing and by GOD'S grace I now have a job and doing quite well. I foot 90% of my family's bills and I am really happy doing it. But currently my parents are telling me to show them the person I am dating so I can marry her off and start my own family. The problem here is that my parent wants someone that is a graduate or at least in school but the girl I am dating doesn't even have a good waec or neco result.

I met this girl in 2021 when I was doing my NYSC, I did some accessment to find out that she is actually a good girl from a good family and so I asked her to be my girlfriend. Meanwhile, she had just finished writing her waec (Mind you she was 20 and I was 23 then) and my intention was to date her until she became 25 and I, 28 years old so that she will be in school or almost completing school by then before we get married. Unfortunately, when we checked her waec and neco result in 2021, she had failed woefully. So, we started dating and I started to help her with things in life such as paying for a single room for her in 2022 so that she can atleast stay away from the village and catering for her entirely. So, in 2023 I had my major breakthrough in my programming work and decided to help her learn a skill (Wig making) which she learnt but I was still unsure about the whole marriage thing since she failed her exams. So, early this year I registered her in a school known to pass waec but today, I found out that her result is showing "held".

My parents won't allow me to marry her and I already told her (in 2023) that I would break up with her if she failed her exam (the one I will register her to write in 2024) in a bid to get her to be more serious with the preparations but she wasn't really doing any preparations because she had big faith in the school.

Also, her parents don't support her financially, and I have been footing her bills since December 2022 and I already asked her for a breakup like 5 times since then on the basis that her parents don't support her but I keep on allowing her back because she hasn't really done anything bad to me (she always begged and almost doing crazy things to herself like literally starving for days or trying to kill herself) (this scares me about he)

So, now I don't know what to do about her, if I should break up with her because she can't pass her waec or let alone be in school... What should I do?

Here is a chat between myself and her early 2024:

The issue here is that you love her, with or without WAEC or NECO.

Not every one has the brain to keep studying..

Even if she makes her WAEC in special centers, how will she cope in the university

You have brought her out of her family and rented apartment for her, that was the first mistake

Anyway, if she is the one you love, inform your parents. Some people have bsc but are giving their husbands pains and headache in their marriage

With time she will realize the importance of marriage

What you Need is a woman that will give you peace at home and accommodate your family and not a woman with good grades but bad attitude to you and your entire family

ojobolinda:
I regret getting married. My marriage is just a year old.
I can't go into details but the bottom line is, I am not divorcing just want a separation.
Reason for my decision
1) I hate sex where as my husband loves it. I have being unable to satisfactory fulfill my conjugal duties to him. I can stay a year without sex and I am happy but its unfair to my husband because he loves sex. We quarrel about it often.

2) Where we are living is affecting my mental health and I pleaded with him for us to relocate but he refused.

There are more which I can't type because it will make the post lengthy

I want to live apart from my husband and his family. I just want to move to another state and stay alone, all by myself. Marriage is not for me. I don't want my parent to know about it too because they wouldn't approve of it ( I have always given them this impression that I am happy in my marriage).

I am currently pregnant and we both agreed he will have custody of the child when he is born.

I just want to know if I will regret my action in the long run

In as much as you have fully made up your mind to separate from your husband, are you going to be satisfied if another woman comes in and take your place

In that case you still remain his first wife staying else where and his mistress or dedicated wife stays with him and the house now belongs to her because she is willing to live in the house that you are not comfortable with.

Well stay and give birth,nurture you child and think twice about your moving out or separation and when you move out, he will replace you and no one will blame him because he never chased you out

Vinnie2000:
Most Successful Blacks like to claim to be Igbo.

Dats how that Beauty contestant Adeshina went to add Chidimma to her name.

I like how South Africans dealt with her.

Dont be surprise she may win the same contest she just registered for in Nigeria

CyrusVI:
Nah! You didn't get it

She's a Defender of Igbos

That comment is sarcasm

Ok I see

MadamVanessa:




Oh my!!!

Why are these people like this? Did Igbos tell them that they used human skulls to attained the level of development in their region? A thorough investigation should be carried out. I think Igbos deceived these people.

You keep mentioning Igbo people on topics and issues that has nothing to do with their identity.
Honestly it makes no sense at all

Johnchrix:
It was a public stunt, they are content creators.

Not with a national treasure

BlindAngel:
She has vowed never to go anywhere, I've already planned renting an apartment and won't be sleeping at home that much.

I have never ever seen her extremely serious, except whenever she's vowing not to go anywhere, when I told her that I'd return her bride price and send her back to her mother's house. She always turns to a tigress whenever I bring up this statement. I have accepted my fate that she won't agree to go anywhere no matter what, I'm already planing to rent another apartment, even though the house/compound we're currently living is mine.

So unfortunate for her to be behaving like a wild cat.
Take any decision that will give you ever lasting peace

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon Nairalanders,

Please read to the end, It'd be quite an episode.

My marriage of 6 months has almost finally come to an end.

On my previous thread I have posted a lot about trouble we've been having during and after the marriage.

- How she manipulated me with her tears into marrying her despite the fact that I wasn't in anyway ready.

- How she manipulated me with her tears, and refused my pastor to conduct our baby's naming ceremony, therfore giving way for her pastor to conduct our baby's naming ceremony. And called me all sorts of names while crying when I refused and insisted that my pastor will be the one to do it.

Plus other's that I cannot even remember.




Now back to the topic, I will be extremely sincere to you all, I won't add anything and will not remove any. Everything started two day's ago, I was lying on the bed and she came to me crying and begging for me to love her that she's tired of begging for my love all the time, that I should give her just 1% of the love that I've for our son. Just 1% is all that she asked for, I didn't answer her, but later told her that I've tried in the past and still trying but the love isn't there naturally that maybe it's because she forced me into marriage when I'm not in anyway ready that in my wildest dream I never believed that I'd be a married man this year. Then she started crying heavily, went to look for rope and started strangling her neck that she will kill herself that there's no life for her to live, I rescued her. Then, I went to bath and before I came back she has locked the room door, I was hearing endless cough outside the door and pleaded with her to open the door but no response. Thank God the door key is somewhat faulty, I managed to open the door and saw that her eyes are already extremely red and spit drooping out of her mouth, the rope was so very extremely tight to her neck. "I'm still wondering until date how she managed to hold on tight and not let go despite the great pain she was in" next she went tho get knife that she'd stab herself. I was late for work and with the anger inside of me, I walked out of the house, she called me on video call immediately and showed me that this is the end that I should take care of out baby, I immediately ended the call, put my two phones on flight mode until I few hours later.

Immediately I on my phone my mom called me, she has reported a lot to my mom, my mom talked to me and when the heat was too much I walked out of her.

After that day, which is a day before yesterday, she totally changed, she no longer respect me, she talks to me anyhow, she insult me and talk back at me. These are things she does when I newly met her until she totally changed, now she has turned to something else, she bought a school form without even informing me. Two weeks ago she brought one of her friend to stay with us without informing me, when I confronted her she said she forgot.

Today she told me that I'm treating her bad and expect her not to revolt and continue keeping quiet, that this is the end road for me. I guessing that she got this advice from a friend, because she told her friend that she met at antinental everything that has been going on and she gave her some advice.


Today a huge quarrel broke out today which I'm clearly the cause, we were watching a Nigerian movie and I saw a chubby girl and complimented her that she's sweet that this is the kind of body I like that I'm going to search for her on Instagram just to see more of her. I said all this because I've been singing in her ears that I love dark skinned or chocolate women that are extremely chubby or fat. She also don't always fail to tell me that she's on weight reduction therapy "I'm always pained whenever I hear this words from her because she's not in anyway fat, she's fair too and rubbing cream to make her fair more, all these is paining me, she knew what I want but always doing the opposite. I can't resist a chubby girl, but coming home to see her how slim she's always makes me so heartbroken and weak.

The quarrel led to insult, we started insulting each other. She told me to shut up, that I'm an idiot bastard, a fool at 30, mumu, Goat etc.

And I insulted her as well, I'm pained by her insult because as she's supposed to give me some respect.


During the heat of the quarrel while we were still dating, I reminded her how she cheated on me by going to sleep with a stranger In a hotel until dawn, and denied that nothing happened, that the man didn't touch her.

I got to know all this when I she was sleeping and I used her finger print to open her phone and saw her chat between her and her room mate In school, she was still a student then.

"her friend asked her not to go, but she refused and went, on the chat she made mentioned that she didn't shaved that she'd be ashamed if the guy want to have sex with her.

When I saw her chat she blamed me, that I didn't gave her attention on that particular day. This is a woman whom I'm always chatting with all the time, except that particular day that I was extremely busy and told her that I'd be busy but when I'm less busy we'll chat. She said I told her that I was busy but I was online on whatsapp that she sent me messages but I never opened them, that her emotions got the best part of her.

I also reminded her of how she chatted a guy that was always disturbing her. She told the guy that she's ready to date him that he should go and rent house so that she would be coming to sleep there. What made her to write the guy? We had a quarrel, her friend that our last born was far older than, insulted me and instead of her to scold her friend she joined her friend and starter insulting me that I was the one at fault. Note : we were still dating back then when all this happened, today's argument made me to remind her.

I also reminded her of her chat with her friend when she told her friend that I'm a broke guy she's just managing.

But she said she was naive then that things have changed now which I can't deny. I then told her that I will call a family meeting and state all these that sha did during the past, I won't have done it but all her 4 sisters excluding her mom and one of her sister, think I met her a virgin, the remaining 4 of her sisters think I met her a virgin, so I want them to know that I didn't met her a virgin that she has already dis virgined when I met her.


Now back to the deal breaker, she said everything on my body is small including my penis, that whenever she's holding my penis when not erect, God forbid that it looks like a baby's penis. That God forbid our son having such a small penis.

Then I told her that her vagina is very wild that I don't feel anything when having sex with her, that all the prostitutes and my ex that I've slept with are far tighter and sweeter than her that she's has the worst and bitter vagina I've ever tasted in all my life and day to day existence.

Then she kept on hitting about my small penis that my penis is small and that's why I haven't felt anything. Then I told her how many girl's that have cummed during sex, even prostitutes. "Note, I'm not lying, this is 100% true" Then she said I'm lying, that my penis only long but it's small bla bla bla.

Few minutes later, I dressed up and went to church, while going she again called me a Goat, a fool and a Dog.


The decision I intend taking, I intend doing out child's dedication next week Sunday, so in order for anything not to connect us ever again after I've gotten back my bride price.

I have blocked her both numbers on whatsapp and Facebook, and on calls although she doesn't know yet. "note : this is the very first time that I'm blocking her, ever since when we started dating, no matter the quarrel and provocation, I haven't ever done this ever before.

Nothing and absolutely nothing will make this marriage work ever again, I intend calling a family meeting immediately after the dedication to state my mind that the marriage has ended and she should leave.

To me, this marriage ended a long time ago right from the very first day she manipulated me with her suicide attempt and endless tears and calling me wicked, heartless. In which I couldn't bear and I agreed to marry her despite the fact that I wasn't ready, the love wasn't there and above all I wasn't sexually attracted to her. I wasted 4 million plus in getting married to her February this year, and I have accepted my fate. I will do the dedication and call the family meeting to make my stance known.

Thank you all for reading, although I've already made a decision but I'd appreciate your contributions and what you think about all that happened.

Firstly, congratulations as you are about getting free from your shackles

Secondly, as you will be announcing the end of the marriage, where will she be, will you push her out with the child or you think your inlaw will listen to you in that same house all of you are living then stand up and go with out begging you to forgive her

My contributions are, plan yourself well, get yourself another apartment.

Arrange a visit to her family, carry her along with the child personal belongings and drop her off to her parents house and tell them officially that you have returned their daughter to them.

Justme1234:
Hello everyone, this is serious. I have been a nairalander since 2013 and I think I need help now.

About last 2 week, my family including me had a serious quarrel with our inlaw, the quarrel was so though and words were said. The man (our inlaw) boosted that he will deal with us, me in particular but I told him he can't do anything. I told him he doesn't have any money, but I remember he said its not about money.

Just now, about 30 minutes ago, I had a rolling sound from the top of my roof, I quickly on my flash light but I could not see what actually felled down from the roof. Though I had it clear the sound of the fall from the roof. I have searched and looked but did not see anything.

This just happened now, but I thing I am feeling something.

My left leg is feeling somehow, I can't even understand it, I can feel it very well. I am beginning to think if its spiritual something because right now I can't feel my leg very well. I haven't say it out though, just sitting and thinking currently

What should I do, do I watch it, or what should I do now.
Please, this is serious, I need advice.

Get some one to reconcile both of you and make peace with him and be calling to keep the relationship.

Meanwhile, you have an unbridled tongue, caution yourself

Kudducini:
A tip of what’s happening in my life right now.For the first time in my life I feel so useless and I can’t get over it.

After a 12hour shift to get my daily bread I got home very early in the morning to take a long nap in my bed, barely 30minutes after I laid down my phone rang and it was my junior sister

Her:Hello
Me: Hello dear
Her: Good morning brother
Dad is in the hospital, he got admitted last night
(In my mind I was already calculating how much I’ll have to lend cos I have no penny on me)

Me: what happened
Her: I don’t know just call him sha
Me: Okay

I called and he said it’s typhoid and malaria. And the doctor is asking for #80000 naira, I took a deep breath.
Me:are you getting better now
Dad:Yes he answered weakly and said don’t worry I’ll be fine ends call

Immediately I felt useless cos there was no way I was gonna get that money not even my mother would support me cos she believes at my age I should be giving her and not the other way round. I did not call my dad for a week cos I felt there was no point calling when all I would ask is how is your health (maybe I was wrong)

It’s been a week and 6days

And my sis called again
This time things had escalated he ahead been admitted back to the hospital but this time it’s worse, she called and and told me Dad had been admitted again and can’t walk. My heart rhythm changed knowing fully well I can’t cater for the bills.

I went into my room and started thinking about my life and how I’ve failed my parents even though they were not there when I needed them the most. Am thinking of calling him today but lo what would that solve ? I could barely eat 3 square meal a day and it all happened since this new government took over. I reminisced about my past life and I could recall that I don’t live an extravagant lifestyle, or could it be because I came to this life as an introvert? Or cos I didn’t take the opportunities that had come my way?

As the first child, if he dies I’ll have this at the back of mind my father died because I failed to do my duty as the first child.


I feel sad and I feel useless.
My story...

Am still wondering why you are blaming yourself, was there a time you lived a bad life in the past

Since you started going to work, no matter what they pay you, do you usually send something to them for the week or month

You said they were not there for you, so why are you acting, if you don't want to assist your parents then it's your choice, wether they were there for you or not

Afodot0022:
Good day my lovely people, it always good to share life with you people here. Pls I need to ask, what is the advantage and disadvantage of living together with your girlfriend under the same roof. My girlfriend had an accommodations problem, her friend they stay together kick her out for no just reason, she wanted to get an apartment and the money she was ask to bring was quite much 250k, I convinced her to come stay with me and save that money for other things, initially she opposed but later agreed to come stay.
My reasons for her staying are there..
1... I want to get to know her better cos I believe when you live with someone in the same space, that's when you get to know them better, I was once married and have learnt a lot on how ladies pretend in dating but show their true color in marriage, atleast I want to know her well before making another serious commitment of marriage.
2... She works and earn a decent salary which I think will be an added advantage for me by her supporting by we both sharing bills together, it will lessen by burden. Though I haven't discussed this with her yet but hope to soon cos I can't let her depend solely one me while she works.
3.... Ever since I separated from my wife, it's not been easy living alone as a man, the cooking ,washing ,cleaning and loneliness has not been easy, so we living together will atleast help me in these area.
To be candid, the girl is a good girl and I was the one that disvirgin her, she is submissive and respect me, but you know you can really say of a person character until you live with them.

Now my question is to those that have been in this situation of living together with a girlfriend you are yet to marry, how did this affect the relationship afterwards. Pls share your experience be it negative or positive, I really want to learn from others to see if I can proceed on this or just abort mission by not allowing her to stay any longer. Do you think it make sense I share bills with her or I should should all financial responsibility even though am not capable of that now.. pls help me to navigate this scenario

You dont need to share bills with her because she is not your flat mate but a bed mate

You have to be paying all the bills and still provide for both of you

You are the one that invited her because if you had assisted her to pay the rent, that would have been better for both of you

You said you want to live with her to see her true color, don't be surprise that, that true colour may not even appear untill you trigger it

Women are naturally good, but once a man does something ugly to them, it will automatically bring out the beast in her

Since you met her as a virgin, then you can still go ahead to model her to suit you and probably get married to her

So far you share the same bed, pregnancy must occur make sure to go and see her family if that happens