₦airaland Forum

ScotHarvath:
You are very correct. Very correct, she wants to go.


I wish her luck and all the best!

I really want to kick her out now as we speak but I still being considerate because of m the children.

If you kick her out, the whole world will blame you for her bad attitude, just leave her, she will go by herself sooner or later

But when she comes back to her senses and show remorse, forgive her and help her build the relationship

She is the one deceiving herself

ScotHarvath:
I have been noticing this things for the past couple of months. She even said recently in a fight that I disgust her and she hated me, I wanted to call for a separation after hearing such strong words but she pleaded and I acquiesced.

We have two kids.

Yesterday which was Father’s Day, she woke up at 10 o clock, before she did, I had slept the house and prepared breakfast because I felt she needed to rest.


I went out to with my friends around 6pm and came back around 10pm and asked her to help make toast for dinner and she boldly told me to go the kitchen and make it myself.

I really blame myself for this situation now, I made myself to accessible to all. I barely keep friends. So I made her my best friend, tell her everything about my finances and all. I treat her as an equal.


Is it wrong to treat a Nigerian woman well this days?


Everybody is advising me to get a side chick but I’m not that kind of man, I’m not sneaky or crafty enough to maintain two relationships.

I have been told to stop spending time with her at home but I’m an introvert, I don’t like frolicking with other people unless it’s absolutely necessary and besides I work from home.

I have also been advised to treat her like a stranger in her house and not talk to her for days but once again I don’t want that kind of life. I feel truly trapped.

I don't really know what triggered the dislike in you, but from what I read, I think she is tired and fed up with you and the relationship

She is just waiting for the right time to leave

Well, do whatever pleases you and make sure you give attention and care to the children for the time being

As it is now, both of you are flat mates

Nothing can be done untill she comes back to her senses

Mercylike:
Thank you frozen...... I don't know how some folks are pushing it on my mum...

Even if my múm lied while we were kids, wat abt wen we weren't kid any longer... For God sake, we witnessed this growing up and grown up.

Our own still better sef... Our step siblings didn't even get any at all...

Frozen, most of us hustled our way out and we are still doing that till now. My step brothers have built their own houses and I really bless God from them if I remember our growing up.

What baffles me is that my dad prays for me anytime I send him money bcox it seems I am his first point of contact anytime he encounters any need for money and I thank God dt I have atleast sumtin to help with..

He prayed for me and I was shocked because this prayer thing is usually from my mom...

Anyway, I won't stop doing what is good and responsible as I would not love to repeat his mistake

Thanks frozen

Thanks dear, God will keep directing you to a good path
May God bless your mom and bless you too abundantly

Mercylike:
Now This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life 😂 😂

Imagine if the reverse was my mom, most of you would have trooped out and insult African women.. But as it is African men, you quickly had to find a way to change the story..


You don't deserve a response even though I feel like giving you a detailed response


Frozen70 abeg save me ké..... Na u make me come read this thread sef and I am seeing something like this

Lol 😂

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

You can't feel satisfied with someone who never suffered for you from cradle till your university days

He is receiving his reward for not caring for you guys

Dont let that border you, anytime you feel like sending anything to him, do so through transfer

You dont owe him, he that owed you never paid for it because he brought you to life and should have been able to take care of you

Some men intentionally avoids taking care of their children and so, their mum takes over such responsibilitys, when the time comes for pay back, nature will never remember such people, that's exactly where your dad found himself

Use this as a lesson to avoid living an irresistible live your dad live.

As for your mum, God will keep her to reap where she sowed

Halo22:
I have been trying to contain my disgust over the life threatening lifestyle of my landlord and his house hold, but then, it has reached the brim. I would like to make the story short cos I humbly want to seek advice on the best way to tackle this issue at hand.

I live in an environment where we are not that populated in the compound. Every person or household minds his or her business in order to maintain peace and tranquility as well as oneness as was literally advised by the landlord in his preaching of novel peace which has completely been foiled by himself in particular. He has a wife with female children who are all adults. What still baffles me is how the daughters will end up being wives in future. That would be topic for a later day.

Fast forward to early this year, I noticed a leak in the pipe that connects to their own house's toilet and quickly alerted the wife on the need to fix it so it won't deteriorate. When I saw the woman couldn't do much to fix the breakage, I organized some of my neighbours, particularly men, to talk with the husband (landlord). Lo and behold, the man apologized for the inconveniences caused and promised to fix it Asap. Two months down the line in April, we politely met him again to remind him of the dangers of the odour that oozes out of the pit, he again promised to fix it and up until now, the pipe remains unfixed and has completely gone bad, emanating irritating odour all over the compound whenever it rains, mostly my own corner of the building.

At first, I thought about parking out of the compound, but I still have about 6 months' rent running and starting afresh to look for house, the stress, extra payment and all that are not worth engaging in right away. Please what is the best step to take in this situation considering the fact that the wife is a nice and considerate person, just that the husband influences her negatively. I don't want to have issues personally with them. I humbly ask please.

At this point, just repair or fixed it and go to him to inform him that you have fixed it because of thr odour coming out and disturbing your fresh air

That you spent so so amount of money and will like to deduct it from the next rent then listen to what he will say

If he acknowledge it fine and if he says he didn't ask you to repair for him, just ignore that and move on

doggedfighter:
I hope this man knows that the bulk of taking care of the baby and the granny mother will be on him.

Changing of diapers, feeding,cooking and cleaning.



His wife is aged and may not be too strong for running around taking care of the baby and the house.


All the wife should do is sit and be taken care of.

Honestly he was fully prepared for it because he has already calculated what he will gain from the relationship

ICTspecialist:
it boils down to maturity bro.
Those dumb heads ain't more than 23 years.
Check these female monikers
Frozen70
Bukatyne
The Op herself
Beremx and few others you'll realize they're way matured cos they ain't kids, teens or Gen z

Absolutely true

Wakatumbit:
My wife gave birth and her mom has been staying with us for the past 3 months, we have dedicated our baby already and my wife has even learnt to bath the baby and do things by herself when it comes to the baby.

I don't have an issue with the mom staying with us but ever since she came my wife's siblings has been coming to the house, her elder brother and sister and sometimes they stay up to a week.

With the two of them that makes us five in the house and feeding five people in this economy is not easy. I just looked at my bank statement this evening and in the last 2 weeks I've spent over 250k on expenses, from feeding to fuel, to baby food. If it's just me and my wife we won't be spending that much.


I'm thinking of telling my wife to tell her brother and sister to go leaving only they mom and they shouldn't be coming at all, they can visit but they shouldn't stay.

My family doesn't come around a lot and when they do visit, they don't even stay the night.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm a bad person, so how do I chase them away codedly

Honestly this is a very sensitive issue, just seat your wife down let her know that you can only afford baby food and baby needs that you will be buying them yourself

That for now she should face feeding

That will send enough signal to her

So that why will nit say you chased them out of your house

No one knows tomorrow

Honesty2035:
Please Nairalanders I need your help, I know there are responsible and mature men here.... To cut the long story short, my elder sister got married to a bisexual man unknowingly, it wasn't for money, after he tried having intercourse with her through her anus and she refused, it caused alot of issues between them and he started beating her over little things an being abusive, he was still the one that said he wasn't interested in the marriage again that she should leave else he will do what he will regret, the marriage lasted for only 3months, it almost 2 years now and she stil scared of giving another guy a chance, shes 35, and we are worried for her, shes a perfect wife material, respectful, honest, hardworking, submissive, it's just unfortunate that bad things happen to good people....

Please if you know you need a good wife material with intentions of a serious relationship that will lead to marriage or you know someone please help a brother put a smile on her sis face again, I really want her to find love, get married, have kids... It's just been work work work for her...
honesty2035@gmail.com

Until she is ready amd willing to try again, nothing will make her accept anything from any man

So,let her work on her mind set so that she can move on

eraglory:
You are right, how I wish I quit a long time ago.

Now is the time, you can still recover if you are determined and make it

ATLANTIC01:
Share your opinion

Na him Sabi, has actually drawed himself back by 10yrs

Bradford111:
I'm not a simp bro if you were in my shoes you would understand this is a girl I even deflowered but I think that doesn't count in today's world so sad

She was satisfied with what you have until she met another guy, who have actually know how to make a woman satisfied and he did it well for her

Just work on your romance and love making skills or strategies, you will be able to keep another woman

Money is not really what most women want, women prefer a good sex skill and even if you have a big one and you can't make love to her properly then, it doesn't work for her

So forget about her and move on, even if that guy doesn't give her money, she will still get another guy that will give her money and still go back to that same guy for a good sex

Just move on and get another one

eraglory:
I was living a life of gambling since January before I quit coz I realized that a life of gambling is a life of constant lack,
ma'am I'm currently working though.
Why I'm in a mess is because I recently sent cash home.

My current plan is to save up to learn how to drive.

I'm currently in Lagos but my parents are in the village

Am glad you have stopped gambling

Just live a modest life and live within your income, you will be able to save money

eraglory:
For the sake of God someone shld help my life pls.

Tell me more about yoor life that you are always stranded

What future plans do you have for yourself

Where are your parents and sibblings

Why are they not touched about your situation

eraglory:
ma frozen, save my life pls.

Whats the problem

What I think is that people are making money but the Naira has no value again

So everything becomes expensive because of poor value of Naira

VersatileVee:
Can't say, I've used alot of creams in the past I can't remember. Is this one a cream?

I appreciate your response

Is actually caused by heat and sweat

Just take your bath any time you sweat, over time it will disappear

Dont allow sweat that came out of your body, get dry on your skin and suck back to the skin by drying there

justnaijagist09:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfxY92Lteso?si=0mnreQzqGq7aUFSN



https://www.vanguardngr.com/2024/06/just-in-verydarkman-released-from-police-custody/

How many times will this man go to Jail this year alone

EriMma1:
After kicking me out of the church apartment and making me homeless wanting me to lose my job my pst wife is texting me to know where I am. I don't know what to reply her there because I feel like pouring out my displeasure but words seem to be failing me and I don't want to sound too bitter.

I ignored the question for now thinking of the right response to give her and her husband.

She and they all hurt you, just give her a polite insult

Tell her *Worry about yourself*

Dainy1:
What's your take on this.
A married woman cheating on her husband, collecting money from the man and feeding the family including her husband. Paying bills and taking care of everyone. Since her husband has been jobless for a long time and her salary is not much.

Who is at fault?
What would you do as a husband once you discover?
Women, can you go through all these, knowing that when caught, the man and the society will still condem you?
What's your general take on this?

Since the man is so hopeless and useless that he can't even search for something to do to feed the family and no one is blaming the man

Then I don't have any issues with what the wife does gets money to feed her children

techub:
I have been wanting to create this thread for a long time now, work and time didn't allow me.

So since Nigeria is at home to day I have enough time to do so.

My problem is that i have a twin (boys) and they are just 1yr old.

This means I have named them. These boys are systematically fantastically accurately and perfectly identical.

Most times I get confused that I may have exchanged the names I gave them .

A lot of people have advised that I give them a mark or like a scar. But i I if I do so when they grow the one I marked may not find it funny.

Pls any who have faced this problem should come to my aid pls

Lay them on the bed, search all parts of their body, you will see birth marks on them, that's what nature placed to identify who they are

Ayokequeen:
Thanks, I wonder it's price is higher than the others.

Ignix is produced by scan frost, they are also good with refregirator and house hold items

nkemjacob2:
Pls i need an advice I am in love with a girl she is a baby mama. But I am finding hard to battle the metal stress of her been a baby mama of a boy. Pls I need your advice to over come this. I truly love her and I want to marry her. Pls no jokes

That same fear, may be the reason you may not enjoy the relationship in future

I think you need time to get convinced that you can stand the fear

So enjoy your relationship and give yourself more time in the relationship to overcome the fear

Lutherblaq:
Can a tooth with a large hole be cured without extraction?

Asking for my kid bro

The cost of filling is more expensive than extraction

You can extract the bigger one and fill the smaller one

The pains is unbearable to have such bad denton

oluwaseyi0:
Nonsense

So if it's Iluyomade wife that died will Herbert wigwe cancel his own birthday or his wife birthday that has already been planned and paid for?

I'm sure it's not the first time someone is dieing in that branch so why suspend pastor because a member died, is he responsible for Wigwe death? Are they family?

Now imagine if it's Adeboye that died they will simply ask rccg pastors not to breathe again

In this case not with a financial member of the church

He sponsored so many things in that church and was a strong pillar of the church

Even because of that, there was no wake keep in that parish and his name was not included in the burial programme

They should at least respect that sad incidents on Wigwe family

Na person die no be foul

Hannn:
I pray so too
Thanks

Until you move out of there, you will continue to sink into depression

Now you know why your siblings left her to find peace

Calmgirl94:
Hi guys

I’m 29 about to be 30. I met a guy from delta when I was 21. Im a Yoruba girl. We had a child together we got engaged, but no marriage up until now. We live in the UK and unfortunately he didn’t have his permanent stay. I never saw this as a big deal then, I guess I was young and inexperienced. So that has been his excuse for no marriage all these years as he is not settled. He is able to stay in the because of our child but there’s still some complications around it. My parents have not been happy about this, but what can they do as we already have a child together. They are not too fond of him and his background.

Something in me is telling me to move on with my life as I’m not seeing any signs of seriousness in him. He is 38 with a lot of confusion about the direction his life will take. Career wise he is still very lost. He has some bad habits that he does (smoking,drinking etc) that I’ve been telling him over the years to give up, but to no avail. He claims that I am reason why he’s not progressing as all I do is nag. I have really tried to see the good in him, by trying to bring the best out of him but unfortunately the older I get, the more I realise that this may have been a mistake from the beginning.
I refuse to have another child for him until he changes and we get married. He uses this against me and has told me twice he will get another woman pregnant since he cannot control me.

I’m not perfect but I have really tried to direct him. Sometimes I ask myself the possibilities of marrying with a child and what my reality will be. I’m a student nurse hoping to make something of my life. I also work part time. Currently he moved out of the house we were living in months ago because we were always arguing. There have been efforts to try to reconcile but it always ends up in arguments. I need some advice on what to do next.

I think you should allow him go for good

You will get another person but this time around think well before you give in

He has no sense of direction and he is blaming you for that, so let him go and find his life Map

He said he will go out to pregnant another woman, that's to show you that, he is not ready to be a responsible man but wants to have children and leave the responsibility for their mothers

So let him go and you too start life afresh

You can't keep on keeping what doesn't add value to your life

Notfogotten:
A man, his wife and two children were invited to a party.
The only form of admission into the party is ID cards.
Children are permitted to go in without any form of ID provided they came with their parent(s).

Unfortunately, the man forgot his ID and was not allowed into the party.

Is it right for the wife to go into the party arena with the children while the husband waits at the car park?

If no, what do you think should happen?

Why should they rest be punished for his own negligence

This will teach lesson to be prepared next time

He can as well go back home and come back with it

If you say his wife should not go in because of her husband do who will watch over the children

I think the woman went in because of the children not really because for her as she doesn't want to spoil their day

Magicalsineros:
The problem in our marriages is that all the rules and regulations regarding marriage are made strictly for the woman. The society put too much pressure on the woman, not minding that for every union to succeed, the both parties must be intentional about it.


Dear women, once you're married to that man, who abuses you, beat you up, desrespect you, stress you, cheat on you, doesn't take up his responsibility as your husband and father to your children. Walk away, but once you're stuck in such marriage and can't walk away due to many reasons, then you have a responsibility of looking for another man who truly care about you and start cheating on your current husband.

I know many people will come here and call me names and suggest you pray and fast about it, they will tell you to calming talk to your husband and all that bull.shit. trust me, it's very difficult to change a man.
For most people to change, they must have weighe the options and ensure it's all to their favoure, otherwise, they will never change

Some husband will return back to their wife after they've become financially broke, sick, helpless and have no other alternative. After their side chicks dump them and they become miserable. Too sad, how some women are dumping ground for these set of men all in the name of marriage.

5 reasons why you should cheat on him with another man that loves you.

1. You deserve a better man that loves and respect you. Look for that man and keep him.

2. He's living his life. He's happy. So, you should as well. Stop nagging, crying, harbouring bitterness, stressing yourself, getting old and looking unkept. Because once he's done stressing you and you eventually lose all your beauty or dies and leave your children, his side chicks will come in and start maltreating your children.

3. Your time is short. Women grow old fast. Use your prime to make a friend who can stand by you in difficult situations. Someone that can help your children even when you're not there. (Network and keep quality people in your life)

4. Everyone need someone that truly love them. You do as well. Don't deprive yourself and hoping to be enduring, waiting for him to die before you can be liberated. He might not even die before you.

5. He have many options apart from you.
Yes. He do. You should do as well.

Add more points if you have and
If you have any objections to my write up, say it intelligently.

If I really understand what you pinned down here, you ate actually talking to yourself and not really advicing other women here

What works for you may not work for others

So, just do whatever you feel like, it's your life

Let others do whatever they want

Every woman already know what to do if they find themselves in such situation

BabbanBura:
Good luck practicing what you preach. May it never be well with you in your entire life if you mislead people into this life and you know you won't practice or you eventually refused to practice in God's name, amen

You dont need to place a curse on her, she is entitled to her opinion and she is talking to adults not minors

So it's left for them to take her advice at their own risk

Sapasenator:
Then they will kidnap is family again to make the next demand. This is a behavior that should not be encouraged. There are ways they could make their demands without the abduction of op's family.

OP, do not go there as you might be kidnapped as well. Ignore them and let them feed your family for free.

Why should they kidnap him
He will definitely go and gear their requests and tell them what he can afford, simple

He can't dodge it forever

These are the things they need to let him know in the cause of marriage introduction

But he should be more worried why his wife could not fight for him

Considering his financial capability