₦airaland Forum

INomorethief:
Good evening all. For anonymity's sake I had to be discreet. I am in distress as it is. My wife recently traveled last month for her late father's burial. I showed her all the support I could give as a husband according to my means, and due to the situation in the country, I could only convince one of my friends to accompany me to her town on the day of the burial to pay homage and I left that same day which her people also saw. I was expecting her to come back after some days of stay but to my surprise, I received a call the following day that there are some certain things I need to do as an in-law and one of her brother chatted me on whatsapp about it.. with pictures I can't post here. That the family is expecting my return that same week. At first I was surprised and felt he was joking. I even tried to make him understand my situation, that I am not financially strong and am hardly surviving and if it can be skipped. Because in my own town it's just that day alone I just need to come with my people and represent after that it's finish..From what was supposed to be a mature conversation resulted in insults because I can't just stand there and see him insult me... He bluntly told me my wife won't return to my house unless I come to do what was demanded of me by them the family. which costs quite alot. I have been depressed ever since about all this. I never bargained for any of this. I am not the one responsible for her father death.. I spoke to my wife about it and she knows our situation hoping she be able to talk to her people..first she was reasonable but now it seems she has joined them in it. For the sake of my kids I am thinking about taking legal action or human rights because this is another form of bully..I payed for her bride price and I can't be treated in such a manner.

If they insist on holding your family, tell them that you will look for money to transport yourself to their place and understand the meaning of what you were asked to do.
In the first place, you were not properly briefed that you have a certain burial rights to perform for your inlaw if he dies and you weren't prepared for it

Secondly, don't send a penny to your wife, when she is tired, she will find her way home, no need to beg her to come back, just relax

If she ask you money for their feeding, tell her that you are saving for transportation to come and understand what the family is talking about your rights in the man's burial

No need to report them to any human right, they will you that it's tradition and you will be convinced to obey them

Meanwhile when you get there, listen to them, let them cost it, then plead with them that your capacity can't carry it, they will be forced to reduce the cost

Lovecode89:
Three years into marriage with a son. he resigned from his job immediately after the wedding, stop making effort to get another job. No business pursuit, no skill.
Left all the bills on the struggling wife. The marriage became so dry, no romance, the wife is always sad and over burden. Yet he wants intimacy from the wife. The wife deprived him for months.

How can she handle such marriage?

I my own opinion, she should see herself as a single mother

She should start planning and face that child

She should know that the feeding of that child is now her responsibility, including school fees

She should start saving incase he can't afford to pay house rent, she can get a room and continue with life incase he starts beating her because very soon he will pour his frustration on her

He will be waiting for her to be giving him money, to me that doesn't make sense because am sure she can barely take care of that boy

The issue of sex for both of them is already dead because her mind is off that radar and there is nothing that can be done about it unless the man starts taking his responsibility

Torg77:
how do you know fouani even sell original

Ask Google

PlasmaTV:
I have a different opinion. If I'm the landlord, and I'm living with them, I'll repair the machine.

That's good

PlasmaTV:
It's the property of the landlord, so the landlord should repair it.

Pumping machine should be repaired by those who uses it, even if the landlord lives with them

They all should contribute for the repair

But if totally damaged then the landlord will have to buy a new one

At10tion:
thank you. I want to get the solar, but I don't have lead for it now. I want a solar that can power at least my AC, with that I'm fine.

Make your research if you have the capacity to get it, then why not

At10tion:
How do I get this electric meter, I need to get my personal own for my apartment so I can be managing and using it for apartment only.

I'm tired of having to pay electricity bill for everybody in the house whom are not ready to contribute meaningfully for the light because of the outrageous increase in tariff for the band A.

Even if you get your own meter, you may not pack out with it

If your electricity bills are much and others will not pay because they feel no matter the situation, you will still pay for others, meaning they don't cooperate, just get a solar for your apartment alone

Anytime the prepaid is finished and they don't want to recharge, just ignore them and make use of your solar

They will have sense by force

Kyng1:
Storyland I don't know if you're doubting what I just put up above, but if you're then you're absolutely wrong, because all what I stated is 100% true and a fact that cannot be erased.

If I had lied on anything that I made mentioned above, then let nothing good ever comes my way, make life nor ever favor me, anything I dey find for my life make I nor see am, make me and my entire family nor see the end of this year.

Honestly I blame you for all the misery you have been through because you saw those dangers and still went neck deep.

The worst mistake you made was getting married to her

Secondly, if you had shared your experience with any members of your family as the relationship was on and her bad behaviour, your family members would have prevented this disgrace from you. But you kept quiet and still kept it secret till now

As it is now, apart from the child she is carrying, you have lost everything including your respect as a husband, because she has no respect for you a@ all @ all.

That woman and her family must have dealt with their father before he left them

I don't have any advice to give you, am lost with words

reallouis:
Dear Nairalanders please help us find a way out!
As a father of 7 beautiful children,age 16+ below working as a security guard and also doing clothes laundry whenever am off work, struggling to put just food on the table have become a battle that i have fought and finally i see myself being havily depressed. I see my life reducing everyday! I have spoken out to people i have confidence and those that i don't, and even went to the extent of kneeing to some and the end is promise and letter a gift of 5 or 10k or a custard paint of rice and beans and it ends.
For now Education for this children are Zero
Our Shelter, housing is Zero
The children now look malnourished
Please NL since 2016 I lost my part-time job and business my life and family have reduced to depression.
Please is there any Government agency or NGO that can take care of the children and help them attend school! Or help in any way!
Please your matured advice and wisdom are welcome. Email realsaintlouis984@gmail.com

You birthed 7 children with no reasonable source of income when the economy has been bad since over 20yrs

You have to just use your dick to do whatever you think even if uts means using it for rituals, so that you can use the proceed to raise them, since your dick is the only functional body part.

What kind of help do you think you can get here

Is it someone that stopped at three children so that he can afford to raise them, that will now have pity on you to assist you?

vibemad007:
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/jennifer-lopez-ben-affleck-headed-092249865.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAADz98vjP7qJCBuBxZD3ifOp9jw2vvOGy9AfX_3_Gq_vCzHty8sFpu0BXVpPIm8f8QLaW0JRyu5dcNYKUA4etQ3TBv8KPMfH-th2FBhtBWLTvq-9OjHDF3KAgczTjOit1UXtjRiGfUEIPScnrag4cASrG8oNWwolQvn032-8J3xSV

This woman can never be controlled by any man, her fame has placed her above anything

How many times will she marry and divorce

Her first husband was Tony Montana, they couldn't stay long but they have two sons together

Meanwhile she is 50yrs of age

Yet another man will still put head
She no send anyone, very crazy woman

flyinnizam:
I was on my own going home last night when I heard someone shouts snake but I couldn't resist because killing snake is my hobby. I hate that creature. while others without mind where looking for long stick, I just look for block instead since it's easier to see block in that area and the rest was history.

I Love your courage and Dexterity in things like this

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

You can't stop a cheating man from cheating, just ignore that aspect of him and continue to move your life and family forward.

But he will get served one day, either from you or from karma, when he least expected it

Wizzy13:
my girlfriend have been telling me how men gives her money and gift and want me to accept it is normal.
Someone i have been spending my money on.

Among you and those men, who does she really belongs to

I mean who is her real guy

dlawsamesq007:
So, one of my distance cousin, a Yoruba guy impregnated an Igbo lady and she gave birth to a boy. He doesn't want to marry the lady bit want his son but the lady's family are laying claim on the child that the child doesn't belong to him since he doesn't want to marry their daughter.

I understand that it is their culture but the constitution agreed that the child belong to the biological father, he is planning to take them to Court. I want to have ideas of what can be the outcome at the court.

What was in his mind when he was going inn raw, does he want just the child but not the mother, if that's the case, he could as well sign a binding contract and get a lawyer to seal it for them

Anyway, even if he goes to court, tradition or not, the court will grant the child to his mother till he is 18yrs

His case is like, a man that hates yam but loves pounded yam

Advice him to marry her or forget about her and the child

In Ibo custom, the chd doesn't belong to him until he pays her bride price then he can have the child

Paying the bride price means marrying the woman which is just what it means

GREATPIN77:
presently i don't know where exactly he is. Although i have sent an officer to help me check for him at federal SARS ikeja and i was told he's no longer there. The officer said for me to know the prison he is presently I'd have to spend money to achieve that. He said I'd start the search from ikeja where he was before, then they'd direct me to where he was being transferred to. That is how i can locate him according to the officer.

It is well

Born2winnx:
I just woke up this morning, and wanted to get fuel, and behold, on getting out from the compound, I realized the whole place had been filled with canopies and chairs with the road barricade. A woman who died a few months ago was getting buried today. Can you imagine, when this old woman was alive, we hardly saw family relatives come visiting or caring for her, and now that she's dead, they're giving her a befitting burial by faces we've hardly seen before blocking everyone? I can't even go out close to 20 canopies. It's almost like they were waiting for her to die to celebrate. This makes me wonder why some families behave like this, especially in Nigeria

They are doing so to paint a picture that never existed

Another way of covering their shame of negligence on the poor woman who suffered to death

GREATPIN77:
Good day all,

My parents had 4 children, 3 boys and a girl. I have an elder brother who happened to be the first child/son. My elder sister is the second child and only daughter. I'm the third while i have a younger brother. My dad is no more. He died 2018 through illness.

My elder brother was working in an industry and also running part-time program. I observed my elder brother behaviour and i informed my dad. He promised he'd talk to him. I've called him myself several times and talk to him but he would claim he has no skeleton in his cupboard. He wouldn't just listen. My brother left the house to get his own apartment outside. He do come home with his friends so i was opportune to know some of them. My mum also called him one fateful day and told him her spirit doesn't welcome his friends. She asked him to end the friendship and he promised to do so. January 2014 my brother's fiancee came to inform us that he has been arrested by the police and some of his household items was carted away by police officers. He was taken to the federal SARS at ikeja. My father went there with his friend. When he arrived home, he informed us that my brother was into robbery. Him and his friends worked in the same industry and they are into stealing the company's goods selling at giveaway price.

I wasn't surprised when my dad broke the news. Interesting part of it was that as at 2013, he has stopped robbing the company with his friends due to tight security measures put in place so they all feel relaxed thinking all what they've done is hidden not knowing investigations was ongoing. They're 8 in numbers that was arrested, his fiancee put to bed May 2014. She was already pregnant for him before his arrest. I learnt the company later let go of the case and asked the police to free them. Unfortunately, bail isn't free in Nigeria. The police asked them to pay one million naira each before they can be free. I learnt 5 of his friends were able to raise the money probably through family and friends and they got their freedom. My brother and two of his close friends were still there. We tried all we could and raised #300,000 but he wasn't released. I finished my secondary/high school 2014 and was working to support myself and family.

2016, my dad got a connection of people that wants to buy 100 acres of land. He has a friend who's a surveyor and my dad would get 18 million naira commission according to him. This was the only hope of getting my brother and his two of his friends out of police custody. The people bought the land truly and made 50% deposit. My dad was supposed to get 9 million naira but the omonile/land owner ranaway with the money. The people that bought the land arrested my dad and his friend thinking they were involved and also with the fact that it was my dad that introduced and his friend that introduced them to the omonile/land owner. After investigation, my dad and his friends were released while the man that elope with the money was arrested and put behind bar.

I observed after the incident, my dad had been falling ill on different occasions. We last stopped seeing my brother at the police custody September 2016. My dad died 2018, my elder sister died march 2020, my brother fiancee father died 2021 while my brother fiancee herself died last year. Her family pressured her to remarry claiming she's still a young lady who had just a child. She told my mum and my mum advised her to follow her mind. If she wish to remarry then she wish her all the best. She died same year she remarried. I learnt she even talked to her daughter on phone through my mum before she gave up the ghost. She had a girl child for my brother and she'd be 10 this month. Unfortunately, her mother told her who her father was which is my brother. She always shows her his picture on phone. She knows her father's name but she hasn't seen him before. She doesn't know her mother is late now. We lied to her that she travelled abroad and she's the one that can call us since we don't have her number. Her maternal grandmother also died early this year.

The little girl always cry that she wants to see her mother and father. Even my mum will be crying in her presence and I've tried talking to her to stop it but she wouldn't. She cry almost everyday. She always talked about her son my brother. She honestly wish to see him. Sincerely I can't even say if he's alive or not. Even myself do cry sometimes behind close door. I wish my brother can get his freedom. I understand he was guilty of the crime committed which i wasn't in support. I felt he must have learnt his lesson and i also feel for his little child. The girl will be 10 soon and she hasn't set her eyes on her father. She will also not see her mother again.

I don't know what to do

This is just terrible, may God make away for your family.

Have you made an attempt to visit him in prison to be sure he is still alive, if you have done that, then

Why not go through human rights to get your brother out since the company actually ended the case but they went to jail because they couldn't afford police bribe

As for your brother daughter, she will be fine, just take care of her as much as you can

Reginaoyah:
I decided to create this account to stay anonymous. I have been married for 11yrs. My marriage is blessed with 2kids. A boy and a girl ( 10 and 6yrs olds). I will try and make this brief. I was 28yrs old when I married. An orphan who grew up with her older brother's wife. I accepted to marry because all my life, I had known hard labour. My brother's wife used me to raise her kids and work if you understand what I mean. When marriage came, I saw it as an escape route from that lifestyle. Unknown to me that I will be feeling the way that I do now. Few days ago, I thought of killing myself because of what my life has become. My husband was nice before, now I don't know what to tag him . I have prayed and I am tired . He just does not care about me but I know he is not cheating. He gives me no support in the small provision business I do but for like 3yrs now I notice that he has change. The only time that he gave me money to add to my business was when I first started it. Some times as a mother and wife, I take things from the store that we use at home. So whenever this shop runs down, he never gives me money, I am always taking loans to fund, then when I finish repayment, I take again. Never buys my clothes or give me money for my hair. When I ask he says he opened shop for me. I have been taking loans to fund the shop because I don't have a helper but my husband looks the other way. We live in a student environment, a student came to buy pure water and stole my phone, my husband didn't bother or think of buying a new one. He's a plumber, whenever he comes back from work and it's like there's a bill, he tells me he doesn't have money. He hides his phone from me so that I don't see alerts. I wear clothes, ppl see me then praise him assuming that he's responsible for them but this man has not given me money for clothes in years. Not even for pants or pads.

I have reported him to ppl but he comes back even worse. He gives me money for food on Saturdays. So I cook a pot of soup and stew which the money will carry...imagine my kids taking rice and stew to school Monday to Friday because they have to eat eba as dinner. This is where I sometimes secretly take them to the shop to change meals. I complained and he said that they have to eat what he has as they are even lucky to see food.

I asked him if he was ready for marriage and he said YES. He married me well. Did everything. But I hate that I married him.

Please, I don't know what to do. I am overthinking because I am already in a 190k debt I don't know how to pay or when. His brother abroad reads my messages then ignore. My brother is old I can't ask him for anything. I feel I married a wicked man. Now we hardly even talk without quarreling.

At this point, you have to adjust to make life easy for you

You will have to manage with what you have and what he gives you to cook with

You will have to cut down on so many things that brings you into debt

Feed them in any economical ways that you can

Leave within your income

Am surprise you didn't mention that you have savings

I don't know the condition and situation your husband maybe but I doubt if things are really working out for him

If you can train yourself to stop expecting things from him, you will be in a better situation

Just pray for God to touch his heart and progress him while you pray for your own progress too

Dont push him too far, else he will be looking for where to get peace outside

Every one is feeling the economic heat now

Bullfallo:
My girlfriend always video call me and show my videos to her friends and people. It’s freaking me out men.

Not only that she always talk about me to her friends. It’s just seem like someone that need validation or someone that doesn’t have a mind of her own.

She is proud of you, that's why because if she has another guy she is dating, she will not be doing all that publicity

God1000:
https://www.facebook.com/100077669374577/posts/pfbid0Jf6Bfvkr9k3S5n4JptVRPh9PgMdnSU3SoPQND494UkVTy9fhqPqnGhwdY7dLeKAcl/?app=fbl

Let him use the same pestal to keep heating his head till he is gone

Okhuadams:
Direct your question to the person that says Yorubas are only known for lace and Ankara sales not me

Lol 😂, Shebi you want a challenge, thays why i dey ask the question

Okhuadams:
everyone has want they are known for many Many Yorubas are far more better than you even with there lace and Ankara shops your shallow pride will take you no where and I can say pple like you have really nothing to show just leaving in the name of your tribe we have this and that but what do you have

Lace and Ankara is a good business because hardly a whole week they will no wear them to party's

Do you feel some how about it

Okhuadams:
everyone has want they are known for many Many Yorubas are far more better than you even with there lace and Ankara shops your shallow pride will take you no where and I can say pple like you have really nothing to show just leaving in the name of your tribe we have this and that but what do you have

Lace and Ankara is a good business because hardly a whole week they will no wear them to party's

Okhuadams:
na all Igbos dey shop Yoruba too get mega shop

You mean lace and Ankara materials shops

JB0707:
My husband and I both live in the uk and we join all our money and investments together, all the properties my husband acquired in Nigeria doesn’t have my name on it, at first I wasn’t bothered but now i am bothered because his family is chaotic. I started asking for my name to be included and i am not ok with the response am getting. I feel i am just working and I have nothing in my name. I love him but I don’t trust his family. Should i keep insisting or start my investment separately. I am just confused

Tell him to rewrite it and add your name because you contributed to the project and if he refuses, tell him to change everything to the children names

If he refuses, then let him sell it and if he refuses, that's the more reason why you should start your own investment and don't ever contribute in any project he wants to do.

If he notice that you have changed and begged you. The only condition for you to cooperate is for him to change it to your children names

PrayWills:
Our court wedding was supposed to be on Friday. I caught her telling a married man I love you and calling each other all sweet names. I confronted her and she said she was telling of proving to me she was faithful that I should draw whatever conclusions I wanted to.

I went to work on Monday and came back and told her I wanted to pause the weeding until we could sort our issues and she said we should call it off totally.

As we speak she has moved back to her mom’s house with the two kids, what do I do?

PS: she was raised by a single mom

If you are ready to keep living with her forever, knowing that she may still be keeping lover and you are fully prepared to keep taking nonsense, go back to her and keep and marry her then plan for your funeral in advance

But if you know that you have had enough, just ghost her and rest then start your life afresh, that she has kids for you doesn't mean that you must marry her. She is too strong for your fragile heart

eddychukwu:
Gotau Nenpoji Gotau

Both of them are not serious