₦airaland Forum

oxiide22:
leech is seeking for Richman to drain. Shame on you

This is highly uncalled for and disrespectful.

[quote author=Asour post=118876126][/quote]I hear you. Let's hold unto our beliefs and I'm glad almost all the homes I know (no matter how few they are compared to the number of homes in the world) are happy and healthy homes.

This for me is a show of shame. A candidate who we have all witnessed isn't mentally fit and people want to mortgage their future in his care.

Hopefully, the world still sees us as human should he win.

ahnie:
Mindlog is a guy I believe...the human being dey always wow me.

Richy4 is another human being that reasons like a humanoid .the guy I dey always cap his yannings.

GboyegaD na another nigga WEY nor dey quick vex and he dey yarn well.


To be frank with the percentage of men here....na only these trios I dey reason say na them be the only correct and sensible men for nairaland.

Thanks for the compliment. I also enjoy reading the submission of the other guys you mention. For Richy4, I'm still amused we served in same state, same year, but different batch. I wish I had met him at least, I will have been able to put a face to the name.

How is business? Compliments of the season.

Asour:
The problem is with your assumption.

Only a couple (or those living closely with them) know whether their home is truly a happy home or not.

We've seen to much pretence & endurance to know that.

There's no imitation without a genuine one. So, if people choose to imitate a happy home, it is because they know happy homes exist.

MufasaLion:
Brother, you're absolutely right.

I always don't care about people's opinion and I believe that's the best way to live as long as you're morally and legally upright.

This is the most important thing.

Asour:
This is undeterminable.

In many cases, non divorce is not equal to a happy home.
None other than the parties of a home can know how happy the couple truly are.

Again, non-divorce =\= Happy home.
In India for instance, divorces are fewer BUT domestic violence /abuse are rife.
Given that there the men initiate most divorces, divorce can't be a good bellwether for happy homes.

https://livewire.thewire.in/gender-and-sexuality/divorce-rates-are-increasing-heres-why-thats-a-good-thing/#:~:text=India%20has%20one%20of%20the,India%2C%20men%20initiate%20most%20divorces.


Also the idea that the people around you are well married says little about an uptick in Divorces in US
http://www.allianceformarriage.org/causes-and-risks-for-divorce/


I think economic pressures are a factor here. But so is the liberation of women rights. I.e. wrongs that would have been suppressed by women years ago can't be again.

Everyone knows non divorce is not synonymous to happy homes however there are many happy homes out there.

MufasaLion:
Exactly! We Africans are used to such way of life and it's irritating. Everyone feels they have a say in your life.

We are used to going about with our loss looking for specs to take out of others eyes. The reason why those who haven't made the best use of their lives try to teach others how to live theirs.

sisisioge:
Yes, but the chances are slim. Especially if the lady is still pretty young and inquisitive. It gets worse if the sponsor is undereducated and older

It is well.

Klass99:
Gboyega you too?

It seems you men don't like this beating thing, my father didn't used to beat either, it was my aunties who did the beating most of the times.

I like leadership by example it tends to bring out the best in people and it inspires them to just try even if they don't feel like doing good or doing right.

Those rebellious children that beating had no effect on are strong head mules like Mufasa, who wanted to prove a point that you cannot pepper me and your beating no pain me.

The uncle/aunty thing was the one that will never happen. You can't touch us outside ooo, na my parents trouble you dey find. My papa go speak all the grammar because that kind thing dey vex am enter marrow.

We used to have my mom's cousin living with us at some point, it wasn't funny because they will wait to report her to her folks. Once her sister who raised her was coming to visit, it was never a good time because they will need to report her conducts to her.

dobnina:
Are you in Nigeria??

No, I'm not.

Asour:
The sentiment expressed here (true or not) is from recent observations. Not 40 years ago couples.

Oga. Many around me. My sister is been married over 2 decades, I have friends who's been over 10years and many more. Marry for the right reason and you will be happy you did. There are more happy homes than you can imagine, however, the bad ones are the ones people talk about the most.

Klass99:
No issues, later.

At the 2nd bolded, you are a mad man I swear and I don't mean that as an insult. Don't you have young nieces or nephews whom you chill out with sometimes? What about when you're travelling on a plane and young children are crying? What do you do and how do you cope?

At the 1st bolded, you have a valid point to an extent. Beating was effective and instrumental to shaping my character, but it wasn't damaging. In a different household it may have been extreme and damaging to another child.

Do these grounding and deprivation methods of taking away benefits really work? If yes, I am all for it as a disciplinary measure, but me, I will still beat you join, if you do pass yourself because I hate brats, badly behaved and spoilt kids. If I were a parent I will be damned if I let any of my kids fall into that category.

Beating was a two way streets. I know kids who were beaten silly and they grew up as rebellious teenagers and I know many who were only scolded and they turned out great.

Growing up, beating wasn't common in my house and I would think I got the most which was very few compare to many others.

I don't know if grounding is the most effective thing but one thing I am sure is very effective is the lifestyle of the parents. If you lead a good, truthful, and moral life, your kids will follow same because it shines light into all hearts.

MufasaLion:
Stop making a blind argument. He's pushing his luck too far. He should do his job and leave. And if he's that interested in instilling some moral on the kids, he should do it with wisdom.

If I was a parent and you challenge me about my parenting without common sense, that's gonna be the end of your contract!

Unfortunately, many do not understand this.

What difference does this make though? Was there an election feaud? Is APC still disgruntled they lost the election? Or how does their candidature affects anything when there's a new government?

Richy4:
If Na height, I believe you might be in the same league with Adams Oshiomhole... Have u seen how confidently he carries himself...he is also very influential in Nigeria right?...

I know that the present governor of Kaduna State is not tall....I know this because I used to see him back then when he used to demolish houses in Abuja... He doesn't need to be tall to do all that...

I believe that you were very young when Mrs Stella Obasanjo was alive... try and Goggle about her... She carries herself like she's 7ft tall..She was one of the ladies I admire in Nigeria back then..She didn't allow height to distract her..

U are intelligent bookwise considering your first class result,....I can't tell if u are street smart..But If u can combine these two together, you will be 9ft tall within u.. because the hero lies in you..

As for food,I will suggest that you don't eat yourself to death because when u clock 36- 40, the weight will start coming food or no food... The 'Tommy Lee' will start showing and if u are an Edo indigene, u will hate yourself during cultural festival because your Tommy Lee will be all over the place when u tie the white bedsheet

You are not fair to us.

Young man, leave your physical appearance and what people think about it. Just appreciate yourself.

At this age, focus on your career and before you know it, no one will care about your looks and they will be longing to hang around you.

sisisioge:
Lol! This arrangement never pans out well. She will always meet her classmate or lecturer that she likes. Poor you.

Na so one babe being sponsored by her husband for my Uni back in the days was dating her class mate and one lecturer. She eventually fell in love with the lecturer sotey, when she was pregnant she was still sleeping with him. It was confusing for us back then cos we thought the pregnancy ought to be for her husband. Who knows how it ended eventually. Hope your children resemble you

We both agree not everyone ends up cheating, right?

I can't advise you on what to do however, let her finish her exams and then bring up the issue. During the discussion, watch out for both verbal and non-verbal cues. Process them and pray to whatsoever you believe in to guide you.

You did no wrong sponsoring her education. It is part of what marriage is about so don't guilt trip yourself. Marriage is about uplifting one another and big kudos for you for bot trying to suppress your wife.

Most importantly, if you can, do not disclose anything happening in your home to friends and family. Come online to rant if you need to. If you choose to forgive her, those you tell may never.

In it all, I pray may the peace of the Lord that surpasseth human understanding be with you and may His Holy Spirit guide you and you home in this moment in Jesus Name, Amen.

Zimzy:
I agree with her. It is not healthy for new couples from Nigeria to travel to settle in any of the liberal countries where their quest for human rights has eroded the foundations of true family life. As soon as you relocate somebody's eyes might open and your marriage becomes endangered. May God help as many whose marriages is passing through a rough season because of relocation.

Relocation isn't the cause of issues in marriage. It only amplifies that the marriage was out of comfort and not love. I know many men try to adjust and some don't, and their marriage are working.

sharpwriter:
Really? All these things just dey look like film trick. Which kain devil dey that abroad sef wey dey break marriages


Modified: I don't know which is more painful, the divorce or the thought that the woman never loved him or has fallen out of love, hence, the relocation is an avenue to reveal very deep hidden secret that could have remained buried for years or forever had it been there was nothing like abroad
Damn


Cc: Angelfrost
odemeetu1
id4sho
Asour

Don't let such stories discourage you. There are Nigerians abroad who's been married over 4 decades and are happy. May your partner because of who they are and not the perks that comes with their person.

achimendy:
For your information my friend has already passed the information to the husband, and guess what? He was full of appreciation , thanking him for observing his children and also giving them useful advice. He also promised to make some change in the family.

So I hope you got the point we're trying to make here.
Is not everybody that can see bad and keep quiet, although I understand your point, but sometimes you just have to speak up.

Glad he appreciated it.

Dinner:

Nachos, coleslaw, air fried chicken with avocado crema.

cococandy:
it does taste good. From Costco if you shop there

I never rich reach dat level ooo . I shop from Costco for quarterly bulk stuff.

cococandy:
Long time no jollof

The Quinoa salad is very attractive. Sure, it tastes yummy too.

Hydriss:
No boss, if you don't want to pay what you promised to no problem just say it, he obviously said he uses parmeasan cheese particularly for pasta and cheddar cheese for soups. Which do you reckon a person cooks more between soup and pasta? Obviously he uses cheddar cheese more.

Calm down Sir! E go pay your money.

ipobarecriminals:
Heartfelt congrats lil man.We don't do this kind stuff in our days/era.U finished ur last paper,U either go home jejely/roam about campus for possible em make one BABA nor pour sand to ur garri in the name of missing script etc..Even somebody that don't attend lectures but only come to sch during exam and write A B C/letter to Prof,Dr go dey do sign out too..


BTW,u have a nice lecturer. Hope nor be carry-over he mistakenly sign at ur back (may u not see evil).Who born u make u sidon on Late Pa olowookere @OAU?

In Ife, people do all sorts of celebration on the day of their final general exam except if things have changed. It is part of the fanfare of your final exams where you wear your class jersey and go about your rendezvous.

That said, it is amusing to see an Ife alumni with a username like yours. I don't think this is what we represent.

AudioMonkey:
Like I already said earlier, each culture/race has it's good and bad side. We're better in some ways, others are better in some other ways.
Also, you're only making pointless repetition of your past posts which I already replied.

You might be right another day on something else, but not on this, so give it a rest already.

You should be the one to rest. I gave my suggestions on why he should respect himself and face what he was hired to do but you in your thoughts came ranting on my comment.

That said, you are the one seeking who is right as I'm only presenting my thoughts. So if what you are about is been right, I no get power, abeg.

omooba969:
Ahhh my oga! GboyegaD has confirmed he uses parmesan cheese the most, so that settles it.

That's his favourite, so I will keep my $10.

No oooo, both are my favorites ooo. Abeg, the guy try. Just do happy December for am.

Is it the state that issues an international drivers license? Last I know in Nigeria, it is issued by the Nigerian Police Force.

AudioMonkey:
You're only making hard attempts to make a bad point look good.
Being an adult doesn't automatically mean or make all your choices/actions right. That is why prisons are full of adults. And reasons why we have good culture and traditions to instill the right behavior in people.
When did giving fellow adult human good advice become an act of disrespect?
Don't hospitals, religious organisations, government, family and even friends give advice to adult parents all the time? Is that an act of disrespect to give good counsels to parents?
You're obviously confused.
Like I said earlier, once he is wise and polite with his approach, he's doing a good job. And if he doesn't digress from and adhere strictly to this noble mission, the husband will not accuse him. It's even safer to relate more with the husband than the wife.

I'm not the first nor the last person to refer to western culture as rotten. Many people do, if you don't live in a cave, you should know that.
That doesn't mean western culture is entirely rotten, except that when people want to reference it in respect to some moral standard/values, that is the time they refer to it as rotten.
Every culture or race has it's good and bad side, the same derogatory way Whites refer to Africans in terms of bad governance. It's a norm, so the joke is on you.

Ours isn't rotten yet we aren't better. Let's stop being hypocrites.
That said, or isn't in his place to advice the man just like many have reiterated. You don't go about disrespecting people in the name of advice. He should take out the log in his eyes before thinking of someone else's spec.