₦airaland Forum

Dinner:

Penne pasta topped with cheese and parsley flakes.

TWoods:
11 years old in JSS 3? Youngest age for that class should typically be 13 years.

You know parents are rushing education these days. I was 12 in JSS 3 so I can understand 11 in this time although it might not be the best.

iykejohnson:
Honestly, I have a plan of settling there, after much much
Na correct town!

Very correct. I lived there in the mid 2000s, it was a great place.

If at 32 he can't decipher who to marry, there isn't much you can do to help him. The major issue here is that you are trying to live the life of your friend. Let him make his choice outside of you.

Quite unfortunate. May God console her family. I feel touched because Twon Brass holds a very great place in my heart. It is a very peaceful town/island where life is sweet and fun.

Klass99:
Yes, but two years of the same narrative online? People are usually sympathetic to widows offline and willing to help them with jobs, cash gifts or funds to start a business.

Are there no relatives on her side or hubby's side who can help or have helped in the last 2 years? Has she approched her friends, church or mosque to request help with securing a meaningful job?

Why does she keep coming back here to complete strangers? I'm just thinking out loud.

She is working as a cleaner, I think she just needs to learn to live within her finances. Having her kids in private schools for instance isn't right since it only puts her under more pressure.
Good thing is someone is willing to follow up to know the genuity of her case, perhaps, that would bring some help her way.

Klass99:
Maybe she meant they were still of secondary school age or she was referring to one of the boys while lumping both of them together.

That's also a possibility. I think she might be a bit messed up from her stressful situation.

Klass99:
Not to rain on her parade but on page 3 of this thread, she said she said......my kids are 2 boys still in secondary school. I assumed she meant both boys were in secondary school, now the narrative is Basic 5 and JS3. The inconsistency is not exactly a red flag but it feels like a yellow flag.

This is serious.

How old are you OP?

Afolashade01:
My children are in private school.

Have plans to change there school to public school from next year

As moving out from ikorodu to akute side so I can start a trade at berger side hopefully

Thank you all for your support and prayers.

I'm managing my cleaning work and nairaland have been a home for me long ago even before I registered to create this thread.

May God bless everyone on nairaland and God grant everyone wishes and keep us safe as we enter the festive period. Amin

Even at that, a 7year old in basic 5 is a big abuse. Where are you rushing the child to? A child who should be in basic 2 is in 3 classes higher and you think that is good for the child emotionally?

BRATISLAVA:
Once a man doesn't want family responsibilities his next claim is that it's not his child. No wonder there are so many deadbeats. The fatherhood bar is very low and easy.

Her part of the responsibility that you're pushing for means she should carry the entire financial burden alone to prove she's the real mother of the child and that she birthed it via parthenogenesis?

You keep jumping at my post without understanding. You stated that the court can force a man to pay for child upkeep and my response is the court doesn't just pronounce you a father because the mother of the child said so. Until a DNA test is conducted and you are found to be the father, or you signed the birth certificate acknowledging paternity, the court cannot force you.

Do you want to blame the men 100%? Until you hear the full gist, the best is to tell her she has a responsibility towards her children. When she is willing to play her part, she can ask the men to play theirs too. It takes two to have a child and not one like she is painting, and you are also encouraging. If two men are not taking care of the kids she bore for them, there could be more than we can see in the post.

Lastly, how many deadbeat fathers do you know? Perhaps, you may want to watch the circle you relate with if you know many.

naijamanyoutube:
Enjoyment kpo! Make una come follow chop o!

You still dey come LV back so?

If Emefiele wouldn't honorarily resign, why is the Federal Government not terminating his appointment? This guy is highly inept and I sometimes feel he is doing a good job for the politicians, moving their loots abroad with ease otherwise, he would have been fired.

Is this our problem? The economy is in comatose he's bothered about the face of the naira. Does the new face adds value to it?

iCauseTrouble:
I was told by GTBANK that the monthly withdrawal limit is now $1,000

Do they have limits on deposits? Why are our banks so useless? I'm wondering why Emefiele hasn't been relieved of his position.

HardMirror:
baba are u using wema bank? Abi u want me to send u screenshot? Wema dollar card had been down for over 2 weeks now. I have to go to the bank for transactions and right now they are saying they cannot do it. And no withdrawal over the counter. Abeg dont tell me about a problem i am passing through.
I just want to know if other banks have this problem i dont need you to tell me what my own bank is doing.

Since they started giving PTA of $2k instead of $4k, we should have known they are having challenges.

Dare14:
Oh I missed this post, after 2 years still on the same issue? Why can't people learn at least a hadwork by now she will be doing well for her self & her supposed kids if any

Only God knows who's telling the truth or not.

I really do try and help people with little I can help as people are really going through a lot

I will do my findings on her & if her story is real she will be among the people I will be helping with small token for December.


Shalom.

For the sake of others, you could post your findings.

Afolashade01:
My 7years old boy is in basic 5 while the senior is in jss 3 sir

Haven't even be able to clear up there fees sef

What is your 7 year old doing in basic 5? Isn't he too young for that class?

skentelelady:
she is a pathetic liar. She doesnt have kids or poster is a man disguising as a woman. If anyone calls, he will give his gf to talk.

How do you know this? You can't just label people without proofs.

She should tell the husband and they should leave the church. This isn't an issue except the wife is willing to try anointed gbola.

AquaPetals:
Her husband pays for all bills...feeding, school fees, rent, electricity, etc. He even assists her in sending money to her mom.
I don't know if her anger stems from the fact that he occasionally borrows money from her or he doesn't tell her what he does with money

The reason why it isn't ideal one person fends for the family financially. It makes the person look down of the non-contributing partner.

TheboyGhost:
The thing dey surprise me shaa!!!

So a wife no get right to know what's up with em husband finances ?


So who come get the right? Em side chick?


Nigerian men the way una dey defend una fellow men Stupid shaa

I don't think they are defending themselves. It is actually the extent of their understanding.

Dinner:

Rice and dodo.

Octopusssy:
https://www.nairaland.com/5779219/when-should-start-having-sex

^^
This explains the genesis of OP's present predicament. Irresponsibility, no future ambition, a scratching punny and naive 'love'.

Make everybody carry their cross.

I read her post that you quoted and with the mentality she has and those leading her on, she might still come back with another story of a pregnancy for another man. The earlier she realizes she needs to wear the big girl pants, the better for her and her kids.

Lagbaja54:
I think Canada has a student visa but I don't know what they call it . Here in the USA, it's called F1 Visa. Because I have seen some Nigerian going to study in Canada

It is called Study Permit and has lesser restrictions compared to F1 Visa.

Naijapolitics03:
NB: for clarification F1 in this case is a study permit. I used this so everyone could understand since F1 is mostly common in the USA . A st

I understand and that was why I mentioned you could have called it F1 so that people have an understanding of what you you are referring to. Why didn't she get a job/work while she was in Canada?

dominique:
Let's be realistic here. What kind of hustle do you suggest a mother of two toddlers and about to be saddled with an infant to hustle? Imagine she dumps her kids somewhere and goes out to hustle, God forbid something happens to one of them, you will be one of the people that will berate her for chosing to chase money instead looking after her kids. Can a woman ever win with you people? She works, she's a bad mother who doesn't have time for her kids. She's home taking care of the kids, she's lazy and entitled.

As much as I don't support her over dependency, this is not the time to expect her to go and "bring something to the table". She needs to put to bed first, get her energy back then plan on a means of income that will be flexible enough to take care of her babies. They're to tender to be kept aside and go hustling around.

I'm guessing you are putting me in the wrong bracket. That said, due to the circumstance of things, she just needs to grow fast. It is a path she has chosen and she should deal with the consequence. My opinion!

Osewa03:
She can't work with an F2 Visa in Canada. She'll be indoor while her husband will go work. It might not be a case of laziness. And is the husband treating her good is also another question one should ask

Canada doesn't have a F1 Visa which makes the story a bit doubtful but I wouldn't doubt fully because he might have used the term so that everyone can understand he is on a student visa. In Canada, the dependent of a student can work on a Spousal Open Work Permit thus, she could have picked up a job even if it is part time.

BRATISLAVA:
Why have you decided that she's the problem factor in their relationship? We don't know how she came to be in that position, but..

A man is irresponsible once he has a child and refuses to take care of it. That is irresponsibility. Take it to any court.

Until proven, if he didn't sign the birth certificate and the child is born out of wedlock, then it is "mama's baby, papa maybe"

I never mentioned anyone to be the problem. My point has always been she should play her part of the responsibility.

Franciscabless:
My mum and I are 1 if she's catering for us it is the same thing as me doing it because she is my mum not his mother , even if I was working I can only bring 1% on the table and he must bring 99% whether you like it or not that's how it should be. but a irresponsible person like you will never understand because you are destined to be irresponsible all your life you ain't worth the MB am wasting on you

If your father bore 99% of your financial responsibility,you wouldn't be this bitter. A man isn't a poverty alleviation program. Know this and know peace.

BRATISLAVA:
She said she's bringing her mother's business to the table. And that Government welfare offices will be willing to help her pursue her matter.

From the looks of it, they (she and deadbeat) are religious people. At least, that's why she wants him to be the head of the home.

What is the runaway man bringing to the table, though? Did he equip her to help him? Did he not see she did not have employment when he decided to shack up with her and have a child between them? Then why would he expect her to suddenly have employment and be the one to financially handle his children? Why is he running away from his duties?

She's going to have to pick up the slack, but exonerating him from his responsibility and putting it all on her isn't going to make everything rosy. He should cater to his children, because clearly she's doing so in her own way.

First, I'm not sure any religious books encourages snagging before marriage.

Second, do you know if the guy is unemployed like her and all they both wanted was to keep shagging each other?

Have you thought why the mom was the one to decide family planning for a mother of two and jot a teenager who's just experiencing puberty?

That said, there are too many things we don't know however, we know she needs wear the big girl panties, grow up, clean up her mess, and take care of her responsibilities and then, she can pursue him with welfare to come take care of his share of their responsibilities.

BRATISLAVA:
Klass de Klassik

I think she's a very young woman and not very equipped to handle what's happened, hence her anger. We don't really know how she came to be in this position and what the man told her before he ran off. But it is best she doesn't have any kids with another irresponsible man.

I know why I said so. The responsible are far and few between nowadays, so she will have to take time before she does that again till when she can find a man who isn't a deadbeat.

Since we don't know the bolded, why are you keep acting as though the man is highly irresponsible?