₦airaland Forum

holotee:
Cabin biscuit + Closeup toothpaste

eww!

Ebonyeyes:
1. Noodles soaked in cold water
2. Garricake
3. Dinning hall food which may contain; hair, toe/finger nails, tooth, cockroach, ants etc. Its a wonder im still alive.

same here. i saw bugs in our beans several times.

H2O2:
I'm afraid you have a diluted and oversimplified perception of cooking. Sure any tom, spiked, nkechi, sue, harry, and baby can cook, but is the prepared meal tasty? Properly seasoned?
It's an art that google alone cannot teach. Google is a valuable starting point though. Just my 2

that's why i mentioned to be careful with the seasoning and texture. aside from that everything else is easy. plus we have different tastes so the cook has to determine for herself how much seasoning is adequate. i didn't take any lessons and my food always tastes and smells nice even if it comes out differently because i use enough of the right seasonings. my emphasis is she just has to start cooking something, searching for less daunting recipes and trying them out. that's the only way to learn, no one learns by simply watching their mother cook.

MrCrackles:
Pathetic. . . .
Keep up the exploration work in the kitchen
Psssff!!!

how do you think recipes come about? chefs decide to try a combination of ingredients and flavours in one meal, that's how. they aren't always successful, and even the best of them make mistakes. it's all about exploration. people who never shake up recipes would be stuck with few, boring, old meals .

Gyros > Mashed potatoes & chicken (preferably breaded) > chips (bread/potato/tortilla) > banana > dodo > fried rice

MrCrackles:
Where were you when God was blessing female folks with cooking skills
Well you wont be the first nor the last. . .
I am sure you really wont be able to learn cooking to save your life. . .
Just keep it the way you are!!!!

says who? learning to cook isn't that hard. i couldn't cook a thing less than 2 years ago, but now i can cook just about everything i really enjoy eating. and i didn't even have to take any lesson, i learnt all by myself; searching for recipes online, asking friends for ideas/recipes, just mixing up any ingredients i like.

cooking isn't rocket science, for the most part there are no hard and fast rules. even if you do make a mistake, you might come up with a new recipe which you prefer. so don't be afraid to explore, just be careful with seasoning and how much liquid you use. it's better to start with a little and add to it, than to start with too much. once u start cooking one food, you'll realize the procedures for others are quite similar.

soni1:
Frasier TV show season 11

i'm also watching Frasier!

pafun:
maybe america will now forgive us our sins now that we are fatherless childen wey no get papa again.

Chapelle.S:
I laugh at all you girls. How many business and jobs in Nigeria are genuine? Ok go and date that puppet that will not give you anything and not take care of you while you still secretly poke the Yahoo guy with doe? Do you think that if jobs abound in Nigeria many youths will take to illegality? ask yourselves if you will also date a politician that is stealing government funds? Ndi ara.

i believe i deserve a honorable man, a man with integrity, virtue. i'd choose a honest low-income earner over a yahoo guy anyday. we're talking about values here. it goes against everything i believe in to date a guy who will steal or cheat to get rich. i won't do it so why would i want to stick with someone who does, it's as bad as doing it. if you believe that the only way to get by in nigeria is to cheat/steal/embezzle, it's very unfortunate and i'm sorry for you. i don't know about the girls you know, but there are so many girls who believe they have enough prospects to succeed and don't have to settle for criminals in order to have a good life.

it's just a phase, but u have to be careful to not let things get out of hand. when gentle kids grow into assertive adults, they sometimes tend to take things overboard. you can't just relax and continue this way, expecting that you'll come out of the phase someday. you should be proactive, do what you know is right, take responsibility for your actions and don't try to justify your wrong-doings. don't be too hard on yourself. if you're rude to someone, call/text the person to say you are sorry. about the drawing away from God thing, it happens to everyone at some point. people stop going to church/praying/reading the bible and don't want to think about God. though you feel inclined not to, the only thing you can do about the situation is pray and tell God how you feel. many people go through the phase where they feel their parents need to get off their shoulders, you just have to learn to be respectful in spite of it.

i can't date a yahoo guy. i think a girl has to be greedy, and ready to do anything for money, in order to date a yahoo guy. you don't want to commit the crime, but you want to benefit from it.

safeact:
When do u say his luv is excess n suffocates?

when he doesn't give u breathing space. calls tens of times a day and wants to talk for long, wants to chat with u anytime u're online, wants to be with u EVERYTIME he's not at work, spends as little time as possible with his friends and family and tries to make u replace them all, feels bad when u say u have to do some stuff on ur own or with ur friends.

it's good if a guy pays you a lot of attention but when he gets obsessive about it then it's choking.

search for very easy recipes online, using foods you like or are familiar with. don't be afraid to start, you'll make mistakes and learn a lot from them. i learnt through the internet myself.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]I would be considered a 'male' wife [/color]

i'm afraid i might be considered one too.

iceblue:
I find that most times elderly people pray for their sons to marry 'african/traditional' wives - yet want to be associated wt the successes of a modern one. Or for daughters to marry a traditional man yet complain if he treats her like chattel.

exactly!

how do you really know the person loves you more, you only know what you feel and what he says.

it's good for the guy's love to be more because guys' love sometimes cools off after marriage, while women's love usually increases. so i'll choose a guy with more love than me, but he must be able to control his feelings and not suffocate me with love.

IG girl:
My cousin and i re having an affair and we re about getting married, there is a but in it, most of my families are against our relationship talk less of our marriage, friends, individuals on their own who thinks wat we re doing is wrong. where im nt hapi abt is dt my granny dt we re 5&6 denies me too dt i can't go on wit dt marriage, dt is an abomination. But i dnt see anything wrong wit it coz dis is my life, my love, i think they re nt respecting my feelings. The truth is dt i lo9ve him so much if i looser him him , dis might lead to suicide, pleas nairalanders u people re my best pals nd i need your opinions abt dis. Thank u.

how closely related are you guys? first cousins, distant cousins? i agree that it is your life and you don't have to bother about what society feels, but this is something that is so much frowned upon it'll have serious implications. you guys would be discriminated against EVERYWHERE. think about your future kids, they certainly won't have a nice time being the offspring of an incestuous relationship. you have so many things against your relationship already, but even if you choose to ignore them all think about the kids you guys might have. it's not fair to them, and you CAN get over this guy.

Pweety4me:
Fall where exactly?on your craving manhood?

the video isn't that bad, he's just stating his observations. they aren't exactly false anyway, maybe except that there's definitely grass outside the airport. can't comment on how the airport grass is cut, anything is possible in nigeria.

btw, does anyone know the name of the part of Lagos he showed?

gidson12:
really, oooh lets all worship those who've been outside naija, they are gods cos they've been to heaven and back

sultaan:
Lets also say our prayers for those who never left the tree. Some day they will walk straight like other humans.

FMK:
i cant forgive her  if she  refuses to give me   

OgidiBoy:
Once is even too much for me, my house belongs to my Mom [/b]and if my spouse should ever try it, she'll have to [b]GO. If she can disrespect my mom in my house only God know what else she can do.

WHAT?!?!?  


i would think that your house belongs to you AND your wife. i believe that my husband's family have every right to come to OUR house, same for my family. but i won't let any family member (mine or his) disrespect me (or him) in our house. of course if it's someone as old as a mother-in-law, one would have to be tactful. i mean a woman cant fight or shout at her mother-in-law but sometimes one might have to be rude.

I love it when men stand up for their mothers though, it's cool as long as you're not the wife.

H2O2:
Nothing?  You guys must be kidding or you must be gods or something.

okay, here it comes:
i can't forgive a guy who rapes anyone, because i'd begin to fear for my kids' safety.
i can't forgive a guy who kills intentionally except in self defense.
i can't forgive a guy who gives me STDs.
i can't forgive a guy who abuses me or my kids repeatedly (it would even be difficult to forgive the first instance).
i can't forgive a guy who intentionally embarrasses me in public repeatedly.
i can't forgive a guy who repeatedly shows a lack of respect for me.
i can't forgive a guy who is so jealous/obsessive he tries to control my life (but we won't even go beyond a few dates)
i can't forgive a guy who cheats on me with a maid, anyone in my employment, or my relative.
i would find it very hard to forgive a guy who cheats on me and lies when i ask about it (but i might be able to forgive eventually).

for now i can't date a younger guy. but i guess if i were around 28 then about 3 years younger would be ok. the upper limit would be 7 years for now. who knows how i'd feel in future?

the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know

humblemate:
There is nothing that I can't forgive, but that is, if it's done once; If it goes on as a habit or done repeatedly, I'm quite sure my spirit will not accept it.

same here

segct2:
House, i just met this girl abt 2 months ago. She's very hot(u knw-highly intelligent and beautiful).The girl likes me though bt she pretends, i often try to make her purge her minds bt she's too reticent.You know as a big boy, I also try to form for her- i create lot of challenges to her, make her feel low and inferior,act unpredictably,and not needy, bla ,bla, bla, though she's begining to fall for my tricks.But i want to fast track the whole thing such that she falls hastily!Wht do i do to mk her feel needy, remember she's very hot and extremely beautiful.How do i handle her in this respect, I want to make her fall so deeply.

you shouldn't aim at making her feel inferior, that would even be a turn-off for you. what you need to make her feel needy in the relationship is to give her some space. she needs time to miss you. one mistake guys make when they really like a girl is firing her with calls and suffocating her with so much attention, that the girl doesn't even realize how much she has come to rely on/need the guy. it just looks like she enjoys his company but he needs her.

next time she brags or gets too uppity around you, just be calm and take your leave without any quarrel. then drastically reduce the attention you give her but not so much that she can forget you. treat her as if she's just a normal friend; send her text messages once in a while, drop her IM messages every now and then (but don't be available to chat). just make sure you leave reminders of you everywhere but don't be around. that way she'll think about you a lot and she'll have the opportunity to realize what her true feelings for you are. don't make it last too long though, and try to have a good alibi for what's keeping you busy. if you eventually resume your relationship she'll be a lot sweeter and more down-to-earth with you.

ancel:
But in this case, we see unmarried ladies saying that WHEN they get married, they WILL NOT do so and so. Is that indeed wise, unless they know for sure that the husband will be demeaning and non-appreciative of their efforts, and will never see things from the right perspective of gratefulness?

we all say we'll do this/that but it's easier said than done. it's kinda like emotionally planning for the unfortunate event that you could get married to such a guy while hoping/praying that you won't. it's harder for women to make these decisions once they are in the marriage even though they know they should. when you get married you sort of see the guy as a child and you keep making excuses for him and taking nonsense from him. so i think it's not a bad thing to plan ahead, as long as the plans aren't written in stone.

ancel:
He takes you for granted? You say it like you've met the whole bunch of men! What will you say if a guy says that he is not going to bring home his entire paycheck of 450,000 but will only come home with 280,000 cos he knows that the wife probably won't appreciate the sum anyway? Or cos he knows that she probably won't put it to excellent use eitherway? Would you agree with such reasoning?

i don't think all men are like that, but a good number of them are. but, you know how life is; you hear so many negative stories and you try to protect yourself. as for me, i've had more experiences with guys like this than with the appreciative guys. truth be told, it's in films and novels, and sometimes from friends' stories, that i come across the nicer guys.

about the guy who won't bring home his entire paycheck, i support him. if the wife doesn't appreciate anything he might as well save the rest.

ancel:
@GL: I beg to disagree with you. You explained in detail how the woman can cover up for her roles when she is deficient by getting maids, nannies, etc (and not calling her husband to do those things?) but in the deficient guy's case, you glossed over it and said that when the guy can't provide for the family the wife will handle it. How's THAT (the imbalanced view you presented) for equality? 

when a woman cannot cook/wash/clean, she employs and supervises the maids. she takes total responsibility for the maid's work, she still plans the meals. the man doesn't have to take up the housekeeping role.

when a man cannot provide, the wife takes over his role and provides. she STILL continues to play her role in housekeeping whether it was doing the job herself or supervising the maids.

i really shouldn't call it inequality anyway, because it's just an unfortunate situation. and the average nigerian guy would do all he can to provide financially. my point was just that the costs of a man's inability to provide are different from the costs of a woman's inability to do housework. and that at the end of the day the woman bears the brunt of anyone's deficiency.

ancel:
@GL: And now, THAT is another topic entirely, I hope you know? Human beings are fundamentally selfish and ungrateful unless they are forced to be otherwise, or unless love has taken over their hearts. We can't say that women should generally kick against those "compulsory" roles[i] just because[/i] some men are ungrateful and condescending! That will be like saying that guys should always have a mistress - that worships them - as an emotional reserve, a backup, somewhere because some women nag their husbands to the point of utmost vexation; or that men should not always provide for the home because some wives take the money that the hardworking husband provides and waste it on trivialities. Your point about slave-driving is an entirely different case, even though related to the topic, IMO.

i think women only have problems doing these things for guys because they don't want to be taken advantage of. if men were perfect (but no one is) i guess majority of women would even hand-wash for guys. we tend to be wired that way, see how women go to extreme lengths for their kids. i'm sure many women want to be able to do the same for their man, problem is that once you start doing it he takes you for granted. btw, i'm not for a woman abandoning housekeeping totally. i just dont think she has to do it herself if she doesnt want to, she can get hired help.

i can't say it is COMPULSORY because if a man earns 30k/month and the wife earns 300k/month obviously the onus is on her to be the breadwinner. however, my experience is that having a woman as the breadwinner of the family emasculates most men. and that causes problems in the family,

i can't get married to a man who can't provide for a family. that's my personal choice though. but if after marriage we're in a situation that calls for my stepping into the bread-winning role, i would willingly do that.

harakiri:
By the way, what's shi.tty about this thread?Is this not the same kind of thread your fellow sisters in feminism opened which goes "is it compulsory for a woman to wash her husband's clothes?".You didn't see anything shi.tty about that one so why this one?If a woman decides to avoid all housework and paint her nails/gossip with friends all day, it's acceptable and her "right" but when a man decides to abandon providing for his famiy, it's absurd and "shi.tty".Why the double standard?It's you feminists that cry out all day and night about equal rights and yet when it comes to certain roles, it's a double standard.Why is that?

Read my first post on this thread.I AM IN NO WAY A SUPPORTER of irresponsibility in the home but if people can support absurdities like a woman abandoning her roles as a wife, then they should as well support a man who choses to quit providing for his family.That sounds pretty absurd to you doesn't it?That's exactly how the other thread sounds too (even the male feminists there can't tolerate that in the real world).

i don't consider myself a feminist, but i'm all for equal rights. i think this thread is quite different from the washing husbands' clothes thread. usually whether a woman decides to take on the traditional female roles or not, she is still responsible for them. when a woman can't cook/wash, she employs maids, nannies and cooks. she doesn't expect the man to do the housework. if a man can't provide for the family, the woman does. and even while providing financially she still remains responsible for ensuring the housework is done. how's that for equality?

it's not doing housework that makes women feel like slaves, it's the way people around react to a woman doing housework that does. a woman lovingly does her husband's laundry and he goes into a rage over a missing sock when there are so many others. a woman goes out of her way to make an elaborate dinner for a man and he complains that there isnt enough salt/ soup is too thick. a man's relatives complain about the wife's inability to cook their local food, ignoring how well she cooks other foods. that's what makes women feel like slaves.

i don't know why the guys complaining here can't just calm down and read through the ladies' posts. most ladies here aren't saying they can NOT wash their husbands clothes. they are saying they CAN but they are NOT obliged to do so. and even more importantly, many of us have posted that we would gladly do a guys laundry IF he is appreciative of our efforts.

seriously, is it too much to ask that you appreciate what a woman does for you. i think the problem is many men don't want to feel grateful, they want to feel like the woman has to do it since they do something else. i know some guys actually appreciate these things. but i've seen too many men who never ever appreciated anything their wives did. a man who got angry because the wife served the same soup twice in a week, yet this woman was the one working to sustain the family.

i tend to appreciate things people do for me out of their own will than things people do out of obligation. that someone sacrifices herself for love and not out of duty, it gives the sacrifice so much more value. so i find it shocking that guys aren't happy to see that their wives don't see housework as an obligation. the truth is cleaning comes naturally to most women, we don't necessarily notice it until someone takes advantage of it.

Liss:
I am just a few years close to thirty years old and my father still wants to control my every movement! For instance, I went to a different church than his and he locked me out for hours! saying since I didn't want to worship in the same church as his then I should move out or get married! Recently, I got home about 9.15pm from visiting a family member and he ranted and raved at me.

I am so tempted to actually move out and be by myself but society frowns on ladies living on their own. What or how can I make him realise that I am a grown woman and can actually call his bluff!

Please help cos I am suffocating here,

it's true that as long as you're living under his roof you have to obey his rules. but that doesn't mean he should be as strict with you as he would be with a child. anyway, i think the best solution is to move out. i know many girls who already live alone in their 20s so there's really no big deal. why should you let what 'society' thinks hamper your happiness. and if you really can't get over the society thing, consider sharing an apartment with a female friend. this may even be better for you if you like living with people, and it would reduce costs. you'll find it easier to call his bluff when you aren't living under his roof.

floss daily, brush your teeth at least 2ce a day, ALWAYS scrub your tongue when brushing! this is something many people miss. buildup on the tongue is a major cause of mouth odour.