₦airaland Forum

ancel:
Hey I'm a guy, and what's wrong with number 1?  Or maybe cos I am like that.  I dont see any big deal in being totally transparent to someone if I love the person. I believe in being morally and emotionally nak'ed (yes, vulnerable) to the woman of my heart. Otherwise I may as well know that I have no such person. Easy does it.

The other 7 guys sound like a lady's date-mistakes. 

i guess it depends on how you share your feelings, if you aren't always 'needy' about it that can be a good thing. i love open guys, just don't know what to do when a guy is being emotional. i'm not very emotional so i feel uneasy when someone, especially a guy, is being overly emotional. but i think if i can get over the uneasiness then an emotional guy would be awesome, because he won't try to hide important stuff.

@ ancel,

hope you realize that there are so many single mothers successfully raising their families. there are even married women who do EVERYTHING for the family. of course men are better suited to certain roles and vice versa, but when the need arises anyone can do so much more.

also, i really don't know why everyone is saying the husband's role is to protect the family. i understand provision of financial security, but physical protection? people look up to God, security officials, dogs, charms etc for that. i agree that men are much stronger physically but against real danger i think they are just as vulnerable. doesn't mean i think men are wimps or anything less than they really are, i've just never thought of a husband as a protector. but then i've got skewed ideas of what a husband's role is anyway.



btw, the rocket scientist wife & farmer husband should have a good marriage. because she would have to be either madly in love (and ready to do anything for him) or under some kind of spell to even consider marrying him.

No, Never! yes, many girls stick to abusive boyfriends but i would find it easier to forgive infidelity. physical abuse is something i can't ever stand in a relationship. i can't imagine what i would do that should justify abuse. i respect people so i expect to be treated with respect also.

mindeh:
the one i hate most is the arrogant man

me too. won't even give the boor, the misogynist and the self-righteous man my time. i'd be wary of the cheap man and the arguer too. i can cope with the needy man as long as he knows when to press the stop button. don't need anyone wearing me out emotionally.

johnkent:
Typical Nigerian man. Grow up. With this attitude, you'll neva get a visa to leave nigeria.

but i'm a woman.  

Gaggi:
If squating to pee and going through menstual pains indicate superiority i'd rather be inferior.

no bashing here, i was simply implying that your logic was faulty. i don't see any sound connection between bodily emissions and hierarchy. no one is inherently inferior/superior to others, it's all in the mind.

H2O2:
Ha @ Marriage,

Fast becoming a competitive industry    
as if it isn't already
but that competitive attitude is not conducive to a successful marriage
it will lead to the death of it

yes, squabbling over issues like this can cause a marriage to fall apart, but it's not good if one partner is doing all the work grudgingly. that would lead to bitterness, which would eventually cause the marriage to fail. i know i have no marriage experience, but i wonder why married couples have to compete over things like this. one would expect couples to agree on who plays what roles before they even marry.

Gaggi:
As long as you pee from your behind and you 'waste' blood every month, you'll always be inferior to us. Geddit?
All these small girls that come online baffle me with their rants.

that could just as easily indicate that we are superior.

i agree that the environment in which you were raised, particularly your parents' relationship, could be subconsciously causing you to shy away from serious relationships. it's a psychological thing really, you need to find out what exactly your fears are, what's holding you back.

anything worthwhile comes with some amount of risk, so you need to be willing to take the risk of getting hurt. just remember that if one relationship doesn't work out that's not the end. you have to learn to step out of your comfort zone; if you give an excuse to avoid going on a date you call/text the guy and reschedule. since you made the move it would be difficult to back out.

one thing that might help is trying to build up friendships with guys so you would learn to trust them, before getting into a serious relationship.

@ topic,

NO, it's not compulsory to wash your husband's clothes. i think it's demeaning to think a woman HAS to do the laundry, cook etc.  if a man realizes that his wife is not obliged to wash, and makes efforts to do somethings himself (like sorting out clothes) the woman wouldn't mind doing it. i don't think i would have problems doing these things, especially when i have kids, as long as the man appreciates it. however, i don't see myself doing the more physical aspects of laundry, like ironing and hand-washing, for a man.


nowadays, girls are raised as equal to boys and we can't be expected to start acting like we are inferior as adults. i understand that tradition places the duty of housekeeping solely on the woman. but as a modern day woman i can't fit into that role, even if i were a housewife. what i can do is work harder and pay people to do the housework. that would even give me more time to spend with my family.

happy new year!

H2O2:
hah i get what you mean now, thanks. i think it's a coward's way out though. triflers would use it as a safety blanket or a consolatory justification for sinning while they continue sexing their sorrows into oblivion, and later repent at the nick of time before marriage. once married, sexual pureness of the mind would be somewhat irrelevant because marital sex is perfectly normal.

i agree it could be used as a safety blanket, but at least it gives everyone equal opportunities, anyway we're too obsessed with virginity anyway.

good night and Happy New Year!

ravenzord:
First off,virginity is a state of the mind,if you've not had sex with anyone but keep thinking of it,then you're not a virgin.
Second of all,having sex is not necessarily something to be proud of,neither is it something to be ashamed of,it's just something you've done. If you're still a virgin then it's for one reason or the other;either for religious reasons,or for personal moral principles,or cos you've not had the opportunity,or you're not ready to bear the consequences of pre-marital sex. If u've been able to stand by your religious/moral principles and remain a virgin,good for you,you should be proud of yourself,however you'd be very wrong if you looked at s'mun else who has had sex cos he/she isn't guided by the same principles as you,and think to yourself 'I'm better than that', it's your life,live it as you deem it fit,get married to s'mun who views life as you view it,and leave everyone else to live their lives,live and let live.

lol,

H2O2:
how exactly would you explain this highly lauded, spiritual state of mind that is always salvagable irrespective of the condition of one's physical virginity (or lack of)?

i have trouble wrapping my mind around the concept that fornicators et al, who are actively engaging in premarital coitus would somehow still be able to retain that staate of sexual purity

basically the idea is that God doesn't bother with ur past once u repent. and that He judges the heart not physical appearance. so u kinda have a clean slate and have to keep ur mind free from lustful thoughts afterwords. so obviously u can't be actively engaging in premarital sex. like i said b4, it's not easy for anyone, virgin or not, to always have a pure mind,

Gbemyte:
nice thread. But am being truthfull am not perfect am puting all d aformentioned things into consideratn yet, my fiance is still havin an afair wit his ex-girlfriend. Despite d fact that we av started a counsellin class in my church. wat do u tink i shud do.

i think u should confront him with the facts and see how he handles it. and maybe pray about it too. i would be wary of a guy who is having an affair while undergoing premarital counseling in CHURCH. guys sef!

ricardo007:
DOES ALL VIRGIN kitten STINK AS THEY CANT CLEAN INDEPTH, I MEAN CLEANING INDEPTH AND INTOTO WOULD HAVE BROKEN THE, EM, EM. COS I KNOW A VIRGIN WHOS PUNANAI REEKS,

I KNOW OF A LESBIAN VIRGIN,
I KNOW OF A VIRGIN WHO SUCKS, GIVES BLOW JOBS, fluting, U KNOW
I KNOW OF A VIRGIN WHO PREFERS ANAL

how do you know? i thought u were a virgin


many 'virgins' protect their hymens but do everything else. others don't 'do' anything but read erotic magazines & novels. so it's kinda difficult to define virginity since many self-proclaimed virgins are not exactly sexually inexperienced.

i think what's important (from a religious standpoint) is sexual purity. unlike virginity it's a state of the mind, not the body. and it's equally valid for those who have had prior sexual experiences and those who haven't. of course, it's a lot more difficult to maintain than virginity.

H2O2:
girls are attracted to fashionistas . . . dudes who dress posh, most of whom are players.

[quote author=iyapo_ny link=topic=362647.msg5182082#msg5182082 date=1261711565]i think it is because the player type of guys have lots of confidence and give the impression that the girl will be taken care of.[/quote]that's why.

Goodlooking, Gentle, Generous & Godly; 7-figure income!!!; BSc Mech. Eng 4rm a british university. that would be very hard to turn down. i would have had to though because he is a muslim.


forget this terrorist thing, when he comes out of jail he can still get a woman with relative ease, as long as he still has access to the 7-figure income.

i think it doesn't really matter as long as you don't think your GF isn't as important as your friend. i guess you should let whoever would be offended sit in front. usually it would be the girl as guys tend to be loyal to one another and don't take offense with little things like this. i would be okay with my BF sitting with his friend in the front as long as i'm secure in the relationship. it's only if he starts to treat me like i'm not important, or if the friend is staying for a long time that i'd get uneasy.

edoyad:
@bluetooth , know what ye speaketh ?
The exchange rate is like 152 Naira to the green and being a gardner/cook/cleaner in the governor general's residence could fetch me like $25k/3.8 million Naira a year, how many people posting on NL earn that much working in an office ?

whosai! americans are not fools. that they can pay 25k to a gardener in america doesn't mean they would do that here. afterall u cant compare taxes and general cost of living there to the nigerian situation. if it's like that even bankers would resign and work as gardeners. people with masters and phd degrees would apply for cleaning jobs.

[quote author=tpia. link=topic=373536.msg5221405#msg5221405 date=1262224307]well, for starters MMA is getting full body scanners.

NL sexuality section is in luck.

Or is it out of luck because my full body scan photo fit crash that place. Nobody go come there again- them go congregate somewhere else.[/quote]i can't imagine that guys would be looking at me naked every time i travel through nigerian airport. for some reason i dont feel so bad about going through the full body scanner abroad. probably because it'll be whites and it'll be easy to ignore them so i don't really care. but in nigeria, it might even be a guy i know, this is so bad!

lekanakel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM2yiohmPEI&feature=player_embedded

OMG! i don't know what to think now. seems like the poor boy was really set up. why did he allow them use him like this? now he is going to pay dearly. seems like yemen, not nigeria, is the issue here. that's the only good news in all this. i hope many young radical muslims in the making watch these videos and see that there's really nothing in it for them.

nice post. i agree with all the points except 4. for me love has to be based upon trust. why would i want to join my future with someone i can't trust. trusting someone doesn't mean u think he is infallible. obviously we cant trust humans the way we would trust God. i trust my mother to make decisions regarding me based on what she thinks is best for me. but i realize that she is human and is prone to mistakes. but it's easier to forgive her because i know she does her possible best for me. i need to be able to trust a husband so much that i can take his word when everyone around disagrees with him. we hear stories of women getting HIV from their husbands, or men using their wives for juju. i need to be able to trust a man not to do something like that.

[quote author=becomrich; link=topic=373184.msg5221724#msg5221724 date=1262231844]Here is it. I am not a church goer, I not a church worker , I am born again. The real issue is greed and foolishness. 
And when one partner is proud and arrogant. It kills a marriage.
You cant only have a good marriage if you have two humble and honest people. If the other people is a liar and a cheat, you can have a good marriage.
If a person is arrogant and proud. How can they have good marriage.

If you marriage depend on your pastor or church or parent. You would never have a good marriage. Look I have an aunty whose whole life was destroyed by a pastor. I am telling you the truth. if i am telling a lie her cousin use to be with the NTA, you know her. The pastor was a 419 pastor. He was a pastor because he was collecting thier money and telling them lies.  That why you find me, critic pastor alot. Till this moment I am talking this aunty of mine, never had a baby. She should be about 60 years now. Her married got destroyed because she assume that all pastors are men of God. That not truth. If a pastors is looking for the down fall of your marriage. How can that man be a pastors.

You see let me put it this way have you seen Pastor Adeboye wife going to Bishop Oyedepo church every sunday?  No. If Pastor Adeboye start going to Bishop Oyedepo church , Do you think Bishop Oyedepo would question it. If he is a man of God? But if he does not question it. He is a false pastor. It means , he is more interested in the tithe and offering you offer him than your life.

What Am I saying is that God has a principle. I dont care if you are in North america. There is a principle God as laid in the bible if one person in a relationship does not follow it. The marriage is over.

Take your external family at of your marriage. If your sister, mother , father , pastor and brother are now the people, who determine your life  is finished. Look your brother only care for his children, so is your sister. When they say kill one person. They would shoot your child and let thier only child life. This is wisdom.

Look, if you give pastor adeboye a gun and in a boat one person need to live. Your child or pastor adeboye child. 1 second history is made. Why, the yorubas says ti eni te ni, te to te to.  Well I dont need know to to explain this in english. But its means what is your is your and what is others is others.


If you give an igboman the chance to kill an igboman or kill a yorubaman to save one. The igbo man would shoot down the yoruba man several times. Why? They igbos would call it "Nkem". That how life and marriage is. If you take your partner like your, it would work. If your put other thing above your partner like mother, sister, brother, pastor , church and others. Your marriage would never work.

I say it again. The igbos call it   " Nkem"[/quote]

H2O2:
are you mistakening our redolent male pheromones for foul body odours?    
and while your inference regarding the cross-consciousness of our perceptions may be true, it's generally human nature to feel slighted and to take offense to unpleasant statements.

pheromone ke? pheromones work unconsciously, the body odour we're talking about is unmistakable.

bidemi12:
You are talking as if one wakes up one morning and decides to marry. The arguement is if marriage itself is worthwhile and not why marriages fail. If a person is dumb enough to marry whoever he/she feels at the drop of a dime then you deserve the horror stories/experience you get.

read the topic again, it's not asking if marriage is worthwhile but if it is overrated. in case u've not noticed, many singles in their thirties marry out of necessity and not for love. i've met some unmarried people in their 40s and 50s who are happy and who would like to be married. u have to realize that the fact that single people want to get married doesn't mean they are unhappy. i, for example, would like to get married but i'm not unhappy. marriage counselors usually say that single unhappy people would still be unhappy when they get married.

btw, u really don't have to be rude because people have differing opinions from yours.

bidemi12:
I do not know which planet you are from but i do not know anybody in my circle who is of marriage age and is single and happy about it. You are talking as if you are 10 years old. Even Nigerians wey don tey die for abroad no get that messed up mentality. like i said i sympathize with you. I sense you are posting for the gallery.

well, if this post doesn't show that marriage is overrated i wonder what does.

H2O2:
i know that.
i followed suit to reinforce the point that mere dubious and clearly gender-biased statements like yours ( or mine) are only going to fan the flames, not quell it. even you can't deny the hint of sexism in your post.  that's the reason the guys piling on you took offense to your umm long dissertation.

i actually set out to make my post as non-sexist as i could, while staying on the topic of nigerian guys & BO and also being true to my observations. obviously i shouldn't have bothered. btw, i didn't even think your post was gender-biased. i just thought it was odd that you would fault my statement and make a similar one in the same post.

.
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.
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i don't know how possible this is, but i was just thinking that maybe people are more perceptive to the other sex's odour (good or bad). that might explain why many guys here find this topic so offensive. it would certainly explain my observations concerning BO.

bidemi12:
The worst thing in life is to one day wake up one morning and you realise that you are 60 years old and start to wonder what in God's name you used your life to do. Only lonely, unhappy and immature people who fear commitment will actually believe that marriage is overated. I'm sure you will get married one day and if you hold this opinion then why do it in the first place? If you say you wont get married then you lie. If you are already married and still hold this opinion then you must lead a very sad life. I sympathize. 

well, i believe marriage is great and that it is overrated. i don't think i'm lonely, unhappy, immature or scared of commitment. saying marriage is overrated isn't so much a reflection of the actual importance of marriage, as it is a reflection of people's perception of the importance of marriage. so it is overrated in the sense that people act like it's a do-or-die affair. like u might as well marry just anybody rather than stay single. or like singleness is a curse. i've seen so many unhappy marriages but i don't think that's enough reason to avoid marriage. however, it's better to be happily unmarried than to be unhappily married.

tbaba83:
Why do u tolerate terrorists when u share the same nationality with him, if it were s. african now would u share the same sentiments. shyoo!!!

actually i probably wouldn't look beyond the act of terrorism if it wasn't a nigerian. the first couple of days after this incident all i could think of was that the guy almost blew up a plane. now all i can think of is the person behind all this, and i'm feeling more sorry for him by the day. i think u would feel sorry for any terrorist of any nationality if u would think of them as individuals not just terrorists.

i'm not excusing his action or suggesting that he should be treated specially. i just can't help feeling sorry for him anyway; he's nigerian, he's young. i feel very bad for him, and i thank God he didn't succeed. i hope he comes to his senses while in jail and overcomes his radical tendencies. it's a good thing his family is wealthy, hopefully he should be able to have a relatively good life after his release.

[quote author=A-40 link=topic=373238.msg5221092#msg5221092 date=1262220769]What is the meaning of this mumble-jumble?? So are you telling us girls don't walk around with stanky mouths too? Lets not even talk of down south that one na another matter entirely. The issue here is the nomenclature of this thread!! What is with the putting of fellas in a cardboard box and just labeling them!! Some of you girls stink too![/quote]i don't know if u didnt read the post well or what, but i've stated over and over again that anyone can have mouth or body odour, and that i've seen it in both sexes. i'm a girl saying i've seen it in girls and guys. are u saying guys don't have it?

H2O2:
@GL,

"but like most of the time, 90% is with the guys".  Cheapshot.  Some of you babes think you're clever.
tut!

from my end, more often than not it's the girl.  I would say roughly 95% of the time.

u're taking that statement out of context cos it's not like i meant 90% of guys have BO. i said 90% of the cases i've seen were guys. well, u thought it was cheap yet u followed suit.  

dawoyo:
Look who's talking, why not look @ urself b4 pointing fingers.

i didn't insult anyone, i didn't pick on anyone's post.

AIRDIG:
Something seems fishy in this whole messy issue. This days it's real hard to know what is real and what's not. This is disturbing.

what is the level of involvement of all players in the whole story i.e The Umar farouk, the U.S, Amsterdam's connections.
Are what we know Half-truth, does anyone have something to hide, or what is the aim of the sick game unfolding

Anyway, Let's stand together to commit ALL form of terrorism irrespective of who commits it.

Check out this links on you tube video to find out:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GCRHZJ87-0&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI5DN0Mimk4&feature=channel

true, these days just about everything on the news is a part of one govt. propaganda or the other.


@ edosaeg,

it's not that we're lazy or we don't love the country but why risk your life when there's no guarantee that things would change? if u get killed during a protest ur kids won't get any benefit or honours.

i'm surprised guys are taking this issue personally. i was happy when i saw this topic on NL frontpage because i know many people find it hard telling their friends to clean up. and i figured this is a good way of passing the message and useful tips to everyone. no hard feelings guys.

harakiri:
You girls know how to dish it but can't take it.Do you know how distablized nairaland would be if i posted a thread like this :

Why do most Nigerian girls have smelling t.o.t.o

How would you like that?I'm sure there are hundreds of NL users that would love this one and the thread could go on for a decade.Make una take una time with the rubbish wey una dey post.

there was nothing insulting to guys in my post. i'm just offering advice, anyone here has the choice of taking it or leaving it. btw, i don't think that would be a bad thread if u set it up to offer advice. we would only be offended if u use it as an opportunity to insult girls. it's not easy to tell anyone in person so if girls can come on NL and learn how to take care of their vaginas then i think it's a great thing.

dawoyo:
If you're to be properly investigated, you must be one of d ladies with smelling pataz!!!

be a man, grow up!

Princek12:
With your lecture about how to bath and observe proper hygiene I hope you practice that same hygiene on yourself? Because women like you know how to run their mouth, yet their "down there" will be smelling like crayfish, making a brother want to stay away from going "downtown."

H2O2:
@GL

abegi quiet ya basket mouth. shatup joh.

roflmao!!! this is exactly what i was talking about. why are u guys getting so defensive? do u really mean u don't know any guy that has body odour? don't u want him to change? i said i know both guys and girls with body odour. i'm not saying it's something that applies exclusively to guys, just that i know more guys with body odour. probably because everyone talks about how women can be smelly 'down there', many of us girls pay a lot of attention to cleaning. again i'm not saying it's all guys, no one is saying so. no one is pointing fingers at u in particular, if u don't have body odour remember others (male and female) do. why not drop them useful tips here which they wont get from friends in person.

@Prince
u bet i practise all that plus more daily. with all the repulsive odours i perceive around i'd be a fool not to do so.

yes marriage is overrated, but it's good. i think the problem is many people marry for the wrong reasons. and then when they get married they don't put in enough efforts to sustain the marriage. some people expect everything to work out naturally. i read an article somewhere that if each partner worked at the marriage like they work at their careers, most marriages would be successful. i think its true. many times the woman is working so hard to please the guy (or vice versa) while the guy is taking her for granted, then she gives up and leaves then the guy starts taking her seriously.

harakiri:
@Poster

Between a man and woman, na who get bodily secretions pass?Una wey get several "hidden" orifice for sweat and other "discharges" and you dare come here to post rubbish!

Na your arm pit odor dey possess you.

both men and women have "hidden" orifices for "discharges". and they all have potential to be smelly if not taken care of. there really isn't any need to make it men vs. women. this is a serious problem in nigeria that should be tackled. and we shouldn't forget feet smell, which is more common with guys since they were socks and shoes. we need to take special care of all parts of our bodies that can be smelly. i agree with u though that when a woman is dirty she would smell even worse. but that doesnt mean guys can do without bathing daily either.