₦airaland Forum

no, he is not married. after 2 years i think the engagement is as good as null. married people divorce without having to do any formal nullification of the traditional rites. they are free once the court says so, so i guess he's free since he wasn't legally married. however, the honourable thing to do would be to go to the other girl's family and officially tell them he is not engaged to her anymore (if he didn't do that already).

yes, some girls are okay with their guy slapping them. i know girls who actually apologize after being beaten. i can't be in a relationship with a guy who hits me whether i deserve it or not. i have more respect for guys who would rather talk about issues.

deluxecad:
But seriously I learnt dat women are like kids, they need some discipline sometimes. How true.

i've always thought men behave more like kids in relationships; demanding, jealous, selfish,

not all paid employments are bad, there are companies that pay well. plus you get discipline and experience. it's not just about having an idea or capital. there are lots of risks that go with entrepreneurship, and it's best to have something to fall back on if things don't work out. there are many people in paid employments (who earn a lot) who still invest in some private business. of course, if your salary is not enough to feed you then it's probably akin to slavery. but to call all salaried jobs slavery is false.

self-employment isn't paradise for everyone, some entrepreneurs can't even afford to send their kids to decent schools. so it's not something one should go into because you want to be like your boss. if you feel you're being exploited it might be best to change jobs, and not just jump into the self-employment wagon. it's wrong for CEOs to earn so much and pay meagre salaries, but then remember they bear the risks. odd thing is, many people who are crying 'entrepreneurship' now would also pay little or nothing to their future employees.

i know several christian men who have more than one wife. mostly in orthodox churches though, cos pentecostal churches frown at polygamy. if a man is already a polygamist u dont expect him to divorce one or more wives because he wants to become a christian. besides the bible says ministers/pastors must be husbands of one wife. i don't think it's a problem with non-minister christians. of course, if u're already a christian u probably can't go after more women than u already have.

@ Lady234,

i thought that 'jew' represents an identity which is both ethnic and religious. so i find it interesting that nigerians can be jews, i've got absolutely nothing against jews, i'm a christian. in fact, i used to wish i was jewish when i was much younger. besides, i think messianic is cool

it could be that those women are putting in so much time and effort into their careers while they're in their 20s. so when they finally become successful in the mid-30s they settle down and have kids. it's not a problem, they have the best of both worlds

i read somewhere that love isn't blind; it's like coloured sunshades. so when you look at someone through the eyes of love, you see things differently than others would.

say a girl breaks up with a guy and is wondering why she never noticed how selfish he was all along, whereas all her friends have always known. it's not like she didn't see the things the guy did which everyone else interpreted as selfishness. she saw them, except she gave some other meaning.

i don't think a relationship can get stronger without money. the lack of finances is bound to wear the love out at some point.

michelin89:
Then don't cry when she dumps your ass. No educated woman wants to end up with an illiterate when she can have a better guy.

very true

nigerian jews, interesting,

i think Nigerian English should be recognized as another dialect of english, just as american english is. and i also agree that americans don't really speak good english.

aysometin:
As an African man, it is your duty to foot the bills 100%

na2day?:
as an african woman it is your duty to do the dishes, born pikin, what is all these noise about equal rights?

cool thing for us women is we can employ maids to reduce our chores

*pointed nose or flat nose -------------------- no preference

*short hair or long hair -------------------- short for guys with straight hair, medium/long for guys with curly hair, for black guys anything except relaxed hair is cool.

*afro hair, braided or straight hair ------------ i prefer curly hair, but afro is cool too

*thick lips or small lips ------------- average, i guess

*fat, toned, or skinny body type ------------ depends on his height i guess. toned without bulgy muscles is great.

*tall or short in height ----------------- TALL!

*vanilla or chocolate skintone ---------- i like them all. my least favorite are jet black and pale/pink, but it's not like i'd rule someone out cos he's either of the two.

* last but not least what race would you prefer( Black, White, Asian or Middle Eastern) -------- nigerian > latino/other african > middle eastern > white > asian



this would be the ideal situation, and i'd choose this way if all guys had the same personality. but since that's not so, i really can't say which physical attributes would be more important for me in reality.

Ebonyeyes:
I think this is an African-American problem though.

i agree, it's an african american problem. doesn't reflect nigerian women AT ALL.

d only nigerian artistes i can think of who would do well globally is Asa, 2face & Femi Kuti. of course, the other artistes can be popular among nigerians in diaspora but i dont see them getting airplay on foreign radio/tv stations. if we're talking about being popular among non-africans most 9ja musicians cant cope. not like they are not good but ppl from other countries have their own 'popular' musicians, then there are the big american artistes also. so foreigners have so many other choices, plus a different idea of what's cool and what's not.

i guess it's only private hospitals that pay drs. up to 800,000. does anyone have an idea of how much federal teaching hospitals pay? maybe the problem is due to the cheap cost of healthcare,

how long can i wear the lace front wig before taking it off? can i wash it without taking it off? what do i do with my natural hair all d while i have this wig on?

fanatic, nah, actually i think it drives people even further from God. i believe very much in religious tolerance. besides, what is there to fight for? the people i'd be fighting are equally loved by God.


sure i'd rather err on the side of caution. though i must admit it's puzzling to think homosexuality can be genetic. genetic or choice, i believe we really shouldn't hate or be wicked to them because that's just one sin. most of us (christians) are guilty of one sin or the other. we should be more concerned on helping one another overcome. that's what God wants. plus, the world is secular today and we can't expect everyone to follow our principles. in the church however, i would say a big no homosexuality. at least the practice of it. if anyone feels he is genetically homosexual (in the church) he should try to be celibate and well, maybe pray about it.

@ Zoraro,

i'm not trying to prove that it's the Truth. you can't believe it's the truth if you don't even believe there's God anyway, i'm not even anxious for its survival, there's no need for that. you said that "christianity is in serious trouble" because of some findings or the other. i was just pointing out the error in that statement. wanted you to see that there have been findings and accusations for 2000 years so it's not big deal. it's not about to end because someone thinks it's a lie. we say, and believe that Jesus is the truth.


@ chrisbenogor,

i know how protestants see catholics. i'm not catholic, i'm protestant. even used to be pentecostal so i have experienced first hand a lot of differences in doctrines and all. i'm not going to argue about doctrinal differences. we might be one mad house of tongue-speakers, holy water-sprinklers, faith-healers etc. whoever comes to Jesus in sincerity he doesn't cast away. as long as we believe in Jesus as the son of God and Lord over all, we are saved and are his children. we make up the Body of Christ and there's just one Body. believe me, different as we are we all fit into this body.



once again, what i see as truth you see as delusion and what you see as truth i see as delusion. we're entitled to our opinions.

Nimshi:
Let's take this thought-by-thought so that there isn't any confusion:

The bible does not say homosexuality is not a sin; and the bible does not say homosexuality is a sin. I challenge you to show a verse or more from the bible where homosexuality is presented as a sin. I hope you'll read the challenge clearly: The challenge is to show those verses of scripture stating that homosexuality is a sin; I will be flexible to accept verses that imply that homosexuality is a sin. And I can tell you that you'll never find one; it is just the same as you wouldn't find that the bible says heterosexuality is a sin. The crucial hint here is to correctly define homosexuality, just as you could attempt to correctly define heterosexuality. Once you know these two, you may begin to see the point.

Would you allow us to use a dictionary, at least? The bible doesn't use the word "homosexual". So, at the very least, I'll suppose you'll accept strict definitions that don't blur the difference between sexual orientation and sexual activity.

I'll suppose you're heterosexual. That you're heterosexual says nothing about your sexual activities; being heterosexual only tells me that you'll be attracted to persons of the other gender; you may be heterosexual and celibate. Consider the following:

1) "X" is heterosexual and single and celibate; then "X" is doing what is right according to the Christian faith.
2) "Y" is homosexual and single and celibate; then "Y" is doing what is right according the the Christian faith.

Is there any contradiction in the statements 1) and 2) above?

Are you seeing what it means to be homosexual?

Where does the bible say homosexuality is a sin?

I understand that the bible describes an activity as sinful: men having sexual intercourse with men. When two consenting males have sexual intercourse, they're having homosexual sex, just as when two consenting male and female doing the same would mean they're having heterosexual sex. The bible does not condemn the disposition to be sexually attracted to persons of the same sex; the bible condemns homosexual sex between men. Do you disagree with anything I've written here?

Let me bring you up to speed about a specific comment by the Archbishop that's relevant to this discussion, and this is the comment that should command your attention and that of other Christians:

The Archbishop encourages homosexual priests not to practice homosexual sex; does this mean anything to you? This is the view that is relevant to Christians who're thinking about homosexuality. I find it bold, bolder than the Archbishop's views on homophobia (which any right thinking human ought to condemn).
.

i see what you mean by the difference between homosexuality and the act. like i said in an earlier post my understanding of homosexuality is sexual attraction between couples of the same sex. you're right that the bible doesn't use the word homosexuality, but homosexuality is the word in use today for what Paul was talking about in Romans 1 and what God told moses,

Rom 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
Rom 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
Rom 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;



concerning sexual orientation you make it sound like it's genetic. i believe it's a choice thing. i'm straight so i cant say i know how they feel but i don't think the bible suggests that God created some people with homosexual orientation and others with heterosexual orientation. if it were true, however, that some people are genetically homosexual then that wouldn't be a sin cos it's out of their control. in which case they would have to be celibate.


sexual attraction itself isn't a sin, lust is though. about the disposition to homosexual attractions, it wouldn't be a sin if it were a normal consequence of one's genes. but then, the bible calls it "vile affections".

Chrisbenogor:
Christianity is just mass delusion at best, just doing good, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, helping humanity by pushing them to use their thinking faculties( like I and other agnostics are doing ) is just a honorable way of going to hell.
If this God exists, he is nothing but a little kid with the emotions of alternating current.

if that's your belief, Good for you!

mazaje:
Nice try but this is not a house that is divided amongst itself, its different houses all believing to have been built in the same shape. There is absolute nothing that links the catholic church with say the african white garment church.there conception of god and the bible are totally different, there also is nothing that relates the american protestant movement with the russain othordox church be it in belief, mode of worship or the conception of jesus and god. the only thing that makes them relate to each other is the belief in the jesus narrative. as far as some of the american protestant movement are concerned the orthrdox christains are heretics and worshippers of some other god not jesus. just the way that so many other denominations see catholics as the followers and worshippers of mary which is tantamount to being a pagan as far as they are concerned. bottom line is that christains do not agree and believe themselves how then do they expect others to believe in them?

even if it was true that it's not one house but several houses, the point is we're still standing. we fight but no one has destroyed the other one's house. the gospel itself is still being preached. even with all the division people are still sticking with it, but it isn't true. the Body of Christ is One, there's no catholic church, RCCG, Anglican angle in the body of christ. rather we have individuals, men and women who are different in everything except in their shared love, trust and belief in Jesus. like i said earlier, Jesus is the unifying factor, white garment people who believe Jesus is Lord, and the son of God have the same status as catholics with the same belief. christianity is about Jesus. we protestants may see catholics as heretics and pagan but we aren't d ones who'll do the final judging, God would and the yardstick then would be Jesus. no one should believe in christians - we're mostly struggling men - believe instead in Jesus. he's the whole idea here. its not about the name of the church, origin, what they wear, how they worship. it's about Jesus. the Church is still standing, very well so,

Chrisbenogor:
My my you guys are really walking bill boards of ignorance.
@Gl
Your analogy of akara and God just knocked out a friend who is reading this thread, under the door mat is seriously looking like a throne for this level of reasoning.
So you are living your life under these moral codes all because of a hunch.
I really want a more challenging discussion, tell me about your God, what are his properties, the ones you were told is it alpha and omega, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, I said lets define God first.

it's ok if we're walking bill boards of ignorance as long as there's enough space to advertise Jesus,   but don't forget, as i've posted before, all the positive influences this "ignorance, dumb, under-the-doormat" reasoning has brought forth. at least, it is productive. the moral codes to which i subscribe might seem to you as restrictive but to me it is freedom. i would keep repeating that you are entitled to your opinion just as i am entitled to mine. i'm not going to try to convince you that there's God because you've read the bible and i think that's the biggest source of info on Him. so don't even bother trying to convince me that he doesn't exist, it'll be an exercise in futility.

you really think you can have a challenging discussion with someone with less than under the doormat reasoning? so much for your overhyped intellect. well, you've got the bible and i believe it's the best challenger we have on our side (christianity) you can read it yourself,

@ mazaje,

yeah there are many denominations but there are some fundamental doctrines. however the bible's requirement is that you confess and believe that Jesus is Lord, and you believe that Jesus is the son of God. we know that God won't judge us according to our denominations but according to our relationship with Jesus. a christian is someone who decides to follow Jesus, right? so anyone anywhere that believes in him fits the bill. and yeah, christianity as a whole has survived lots of hardships. or do u disagree?

the sun rises in the east and sets in the west because of nature and not men. if men had to press a button, believe me it wouldn't be so predictable anymore. human beings change. we are prone to disagreements, and divisions. nations have risen up out of division. christianity is so diverse because we have people with all sorts of doctrines. even Jesus' disciples disagreed at times. the unifying factor is Jesus for all who pledge their allegiance to him. in the early church they also had wierd groups that propagated strange and false doctrines. that hasn't brought the church down, so whichever one gets more converts, catholicism, protestanism, as long as they are coming to Jesus i love it.

even with all these internal divisions, it still remains. ordinarily a house divided against itself should fall, right. yet we've had serious crises in this house for over 2000 years and it is still standing firm, u say that's not cool?

@ Kola, what happened to "I and my father are one", "in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God", "he that has seen me has seen the father", i hope this doesn't start a trinity true/false argument.

besides, i don't see how you can use both bible and koran to prove that Jesus is the son of God as they have opposing views on that issue.

@Kuns,

i'm female so if a guy says that to me it's different. if it were a girl, or my brother or sister i would see it as a normal expression of sisterly affection. i find it hard to believe that you think it's strange for a man to have a stronger love for a sibling than for a woman. what would you then say about the love between a mother and child. that is even stronger.  really, you're taking david's statement out of context. he didnt just meet jonathan and say all these things. he said this after jonathan was killed in battle and he said this after jonathan had risked his father's wrath and sacrificed his chances of being king to save david. that is real love. people don't do that for others,

about homosexuality being epidemic in europe. well, i disagree. it didnt just start and it isnt spreading like a disease. homosexuality has been on in many societies around the world for ages. in ancient Greece for example.

@ Chrisbenogor,

you are missing the fact that this thread is about what the bible says and not what any "intellectual" thinks about homosexuality. i'm not homosexual and i can't be bothered to do any research on it right now, but since you're so smart and you brought up the issue of the difference between homosexuality and homosexual act you might want to enlighten us on it. otherwise, it's ur problem still.  however, like i said before sin in christianity is a thing of the mind. if u do something in ur heart but don't express it physically it's just as bad. if u get tempted and refuse to give in then it's not sin, jesus classified lusting after a woman in the heart as fornication.

also, considering the great impact "dumb 9.5/10 christians" have had on modern life, civilization, education you don't really believe we're that dumb, do you? not like it matters though, afterall, James Watson (a proven intellectual) thinks blacks are intellectually inferior to whites.  

@ Nimshi, please can you say where in the bible it is written that homosexuality is not a sin. and please dont come quoting one of those other books because the title of this thread is "bible and homosexuality" and we're giving our 2 cents on that. plus don't forget that christians accept the authority of only the bible so it is useless to bring in other books now. plus, i'm not homophobic and i don't understand what you mean by "it's not christians' fault, it's education". education where? in church or school? the ultimate source of christian education is God's word which says homosexuality is a sin. i really dont think nigerian schools teach anything about homosexuality. i don't know what Archbishop Tutu's views are on the subject except that he criticizes homophobia (and i agree, we shouldn't hate anyone).

by the way Chrisbenogor, since you're so smart i think you should be out there doing some great things to make nigeria proud. don't just sit here on nairaland, do something big with your intellect. prove to the rest of the world (James Watson in particular) that blacks have intelligent genes too. we'll support and applaud you regardless of our religious differences.

@ chrisbenogor,


first, you hear about something. then you decide whether or not you want to try it out, right. then you make your own assessment based on your trial. for example, i hear about/see akara and think it looks kinda strange but then i taste it, love it and declare it's the best food i've eaten. with christianity, we hear the good news and decide to come to God and we experience him through his Spirit in us after we have come to Him and based on this we go around declaring the good news to others. God invites us all in Isaiah to "come taste and see that the Lord is good". i went, i tasted and now i see.

you too can do the same if you are interested. but if you insist on having physical proof first, then as i said don't expect anything new from God's end. you either try it out in faith or, you don't.

and about my brain, it is doing a wonderful job of coordinating all my body activities. (obviously ) it even supports my academic pursuit. i think any brain that does that is healthy. if a brain can be at a doorstep or under a doormat and do all that then all the more wonderful! if all we christians have our brains at a doorstep/doormat and yet we're still walking around, feeding ourselves and doing the basic things (not to mention the greater things christian inventors, students, researchers do) then that might be a proof to you of the wonders of our God.