Wen u don c dem approaching ur STREET, form malaria- fever.
Wen d boy point hand say na u beat am , no look him side, still dey shiver dey go...
Wen dem decide to help ur mata go hospital, just aspect odawise dem go know say u dey lie
Wen doctor wan examine u for their presence, say u wan pee...
Wen nurse take u to toilet, luk for back door escape

After one year, come back to area in a big boy style, buy beer for dem, dem go don forget.

pretydiva:
Joy of motherhood. Can't wait 2 start having mine . God pls bless me wit cute kids. Amen

Amen for me o

ClassCaptain:


frontpage on nairaland.. = snake, cow, tonto dikeh, five roasted in, cossy boobs, buhari says, thief caught in, advice me, my girlfriend is a girl, davido wears red..is it normal, olajumoke eats meatpie ..see how she eats it


congratulations op for eating the snake..

but if a snake eats a rat infected with lassa fever .. and a human eats the snake that eat the rat that has the lassa fever..will the snake eater contact lassa fever ??

Never wanted to comment on dis thread @Ops but dis post got me cracking...hilarious tho!

Na only Lalasticlala be front page Mod?! I just wanna know oo

seunny4lif:

Sad RIP to the man and his family but so many Nigerians dead on our bad roads daily but our greed leader don't care until it happened to one of them
So Sad

Naaaan! Abj-Kd road is a smooth ride, must have been over speeding or d driver lost control.

That y, dey say too much speed kills

With a heavy heart we mourn him. A true Nigerian!

adipemcanis1:
Nigeria and politics.

Perhaps it is time we put in place a salary structure for politicians in this country....

President: N90000
VP:N85000
Senate Presido, Speaker N83000
Lawmaker N80000
Governor: N78000
LG Chairperson: N75000
Councillor: N60000
Political appointee: N75000
Pension (when retired): N60000 per month.

Also....every political appointee gets the use of just one official car.President can use 5 cars.

No allowances,one official house....and an audit of personal finances every 3 months.

And all this political violence will just end like that.....

Eyahh!!!!
If u like put #10000 for Presido, pipo will still hussle for d post, becos wat attract some is not d money but power. And do u know dat they do not spend their salaries? They dwell mostly on appreciation from individuals or private sectors.

Oga! We just need to change our ways dats all.

May his and his son's soul enter heaven in peace Amen
RIP to the dead

ajebuter:
So, when will tinubu and Oba Akiolu speak and condemn these attacks ?

Or call their slave master to call his killer goons to order?

As a yoruba and Lagosian I am ashamed of what my people have become to Hausas because of atenuje political allaiance.

However I am glad my people are gradually opening their eyes and hopefully someday soon, they will act wisely and not wait for someone to tell them what to do

E tii ri nkankan

Atenuje political cooperation

Youngpo413:
For a lady to reach 30yrs without getting married is a clear indication that she is not a wife material,talkless of 35,before that age most will have numerous Ex boyfriends so if any of the uncountable Ex'es can't wife u,na your fault.

U most be high on cheap poo or maybe just foolish, while typed dis nonsense.
of wat use is it to her? U for just read comments and comot. Shekina!

Goodluck to Infantino Gianni, say to racism, free and fair play.
Dis year Diego Costa, should be given world best player.
Arab, u guys re full of terrorism, can't be elected for such post.

Don't know much about Gianni Infantino. But goodluck to Him.

He should concentrate on free and fair play, say no to racism and promote African football.

Teempakguy:
It is only in Nigeria that a thick woman can act the life story of a slim lady.

Thank u, I tot am d only one with dis VISION.

SirLegal:
Its high time the NFF actually goes for a foreign coach.

I disagreed with u Sir!
Over 170 million popn and a football nation for dat mata, we go dey find good coach again?!

Abeg NFF shud look inward we ve qualify pipo to do a bera job, biko.

Change!!!

Good development we need more candidates, only da best will be chosen.
The great people of Ondo state have a lot of variety rite now all dey need is to pick da best. No more excuses.
They shouldn't say dey had limited choice to choose from.

ellovee:

Trade/investment and safety of life and property, which is first in your hierarchy of needs?

Oga like I mentioned, they go in line with each other no superiority there.

Living Life without food or money for sustenance and being afraid of some terrorist, which one is worst? Up north where insurgency is at its peak re pipo not still trading ?.

At this point hierarchical measures is not only da yardstick here.

kenny987:


You do realise that Nigeria is already in a precarious situation as it stands now. If u agree we need more security personnel/gadgets for proper scrutiny (even though these are more reactive than proactive measures), is it not only proper that such measures are put in place and effectively working before u throw open ur borders and eliminate immigration restrictions for countries that have known presence of terrorist groups?

Should u shut the barn after the horses have escaped then come back to cry foul?

Cast your mind back to a few months ago when a known terrorist wanted by international security agencies was nabbed enroute Nigeria...was it not because he had a Nigerian visa in his passport we started hearing of it and questions were asked as to who granted such person a Nigerian visa in the first instance? When u take out those restrictions what do u think will happen? How do u know his next destination in order to activate security protocols where possible?

Yes, if terrorist wan enter dem go enter but don't make it easy for them! It is possible to have good commercial/foreign rlations wth these and other countries without throwing immigration to the winds!

Vice versa, legit business trade / tourism should not suffer because of terrorism. Shikena!

kenny987:
Hmmm! In this time of terrorism someone is trying to further weaken our already wacko immigration policies.
I hope we can see clearly o! Leaders that do not think things through..

Weda its visa free or not, if terrorist wan enter dem go enter, we just need more security personnel/ gadgets for proper scrutiny.


By da way, good development, looking forward to da implementation. Thanks mr mohammed.

One thing for sure I know Donald Trump is not going to be another Kim jong Un . If he do anyhow e go see anyhow.

winning He shall, but still, goodluck to Hilary.

Clone2020:


Be mute or ask people who follow current affairs. Trump has taken a very provocative stance when it comes to China, Russia and even Japan a U.S ally. What is "hearsay" about someone actually saying these things himself during the debates, during thr town hall meetings and during interviews on CNN, FOX etc??
lol nairaland goons will not cease to make me laugh. I know you are calling it "hearsay" cuz you think I'm in Nigeria and for that reason I shouldn't know or meddle in American politics. I don't need to go around nairaland announcing that I'm a U.S. citizen like some of you kids do as if being an American citizen is now a status symbol.

He cannot provoke any war with any country right now. Da U.S is not made up of one opinion, the congress is there to checkmate presido. E no bi like naija wey opposition no know their roles. Beside da only world leader dat has given him a pass mark so far is Putin.

Weda we dey yanki or we no dey yanki, we dey watch with 5D. With legit visa u go stay Ame, Donald Trump can't do no shiit!

Clone2020:
If this man gets into office, the U.S will finally go to war with Russia, China, Iran and North Korea. 3rd world war may be sooner than we think. He will alienate the U.S from its neighbors Mexico and Canada. He will start mass deportation of illegal immigrants and sabotage any aspirations of amnesty. He will also stop all visa lottery, all fiance visa and student visa programs. Sad to say, very soon you might notice the influx of Nigerians from America coming home to "establish" without early notification.
Let's just hope the Democrats win the election.

Oga!, most of this ur write-up will definitely not happen. He is just using dis ill words n propaganda to gain the attentions of d U.S populace. Believe it or not some blacks, muslims, immigrants, christians etc are also in support of him and some Americans love ds political platform he is preaching on becos he is actually speaking their minds.

Don't be surprise DONALD TRUMP d reality TV star n Billionaire will b da next U.S presido.

But da annoying tins is am yet to get my visa/green card n dis man is coming on board.

Anyway, goodluck to Hilary Clinton.

Keneking:
The matter is in court already, so there is no room for soft landing.

- they can discuss the rise and fall of Naira
- they can discuss how to finish PDP and its new helmsman
- they can discuss how to stabilize the Naira
- they can discuss how to present Jonathan before the courts to return our "yams".
- they can discuss how to celebrate the birthday of Mr. President
- they can discuss how to support the presidential candidate of Democrats party in USA.

But they should not discuss...

The hot weather for North omo na hell fire oh!

tolulakin:
As mouth-watering as the TY Bello/Jumoke Bread Seller, Photobombing story sounds, there are lots of common sense facts that point to the fact that TY Bello is just pulling a fast one on us.

I have always had one understanding of our world and especially our nation. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true. I will bring up three or four facts that make me really convinced that this bread seller story is not only a publicity stunt, but it is as well a major fool-the-public drama that TY Bello just used to get into all our heads!

1. Will a bread seller look so good? in the selfie she took with TY Bello, olajumoke was looking so cute that one would begin to wonder if she had been doing facial treatments all her life. But then, what do I know?

2. All of a sudden, she became a MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER! How foolish can we be? Just all of a sudden, a programme was to be held in Abuja and olajumoke was invited as the MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER....yes, SPEAKER! The topic was 'If we were the government'... So I asked myself, was she so educated before or did she become a motivational speaker just by virtue of being lucky or someone is just playing a simply stupid fast one on us?

3. Anybody who saw the picture where she allegedly photobombed the Tinie Tempah shoot will probably believe with me that she was a little bit overdressed to be a bread seller. She looked so good I began wondering, did she really photobomb this shoot or was she made up before the shoot?

4. So I heard Sujimoto gave her a house, STANBIC gave her an endorsement deal etc.... For what did a young lady who just got lucky deserve all these publicity and attention? For being lucky? Or for being a recipient of a TY Bello miracle? I guess we should expect an endorsement deal for the young man E-Money just gave a car and cash to if that is the way to deal!

You can call me as many names as you want for my non-conformist ideas....truth is, it will not change my belief that all these PR moves by TY Bello involving Olajumoke are ways of fooling our collective reasoning. I am certain even Basketmouth shares my views....maybe that explains his recent jokes about Olajumoke....he just wanted to tell us we are all being fooled in his usually funny way!

Y'all can keep getting fooled, Olajumoke will not become a prayer point for me for even a minute!

Thank u ojare! I share a lot in dis tot of urs.
I kukuma talk b4, haba! It too gud to true.
Photoboom ko!, photoexplode ni! Smh

“The present regime sacked over 7000 Local
Government staff over 100 staff of "Nasarawa on the
move,” a state transport company were fired and
the company grounded. Where is the Lafia Hotel and
its staff today?


The above is so true.
Lafia Hotel is no more functioning, rather the Governor now uses his own hotel to run govt business ( like accommodation govt guest on official businesses for a long period, including other functions too) anoda means of looting.

APC I know!
Almakura is a beast!

tuale4u:
Local production and local goods are getting boost

YES O!
No more excuses, Nigerians home and abroad come show ur skills of creativity.

seaga:


Hello, I like your profile picture, I need to use your page to knock some sense to a lady on nairaland

Thanks!
If na for good, go ahead.

gypsey:
no! they are within their rights not to perform another day and not refund they money, the party who changed the dates are in breach of contract by changing the date. believe me or not i am a lawyer. i know

if that's what happened?

But dem go court and dey lose. So dey shud refund. Rite or left, The law is supreme.

lawydewy:
Mr David Mark! you are too greedy!

Minister during IBB.

Former Governor of Niger state.

4-5 terms senator.

2 terms Senate president.

Military colonel(rtd)

Are you human being at all?


Are you ingreat?

What!!
All this!, enh.....I knew of some sha, but den no meaningful inpart to d Nation with all d public offices he headed.
Kai, abeg make dem no give am any vote

sholly4444:
Same happening in LASUES, (sandwich)

Thank u

How dis boy wan take rule now? In dis era of gidi-gidi upanda, tor! I wish him goodluck and a longer reign as KING

But am skeptical about dis, dem pipo just install person wey dey fit brainwash easily.

On his role in politics as a political godfather,
Tinubu further said “Godfather is not negative but
godlords are. They are the mafias. Godfathers exist
even in the church. If you call me a godfather, it is
alright. I have many children everywhere.” Explain­
ing his position further, Tinubu added that, “You are
talking about imposition in a democracy. If you are a
strong adviser, you would get blackmailed; you have
seen great qualities in an individual and one that has
capacity to do good; you identify those you believe
can deliver on the evolution of good governance.



Thank u for giving us Fashola
, but e bi like say dat man don dey f-up in his ministerial duties. Most especially dis NEPA issue.

Hakeem3:
Trust a typical Igbo man; bia Nnaa there's is no refund of money after payment oo.. Inugo!!

Y wouldn't they refund the money or perform d show anoda tyme?
C! This is greed at work here!
Now their security personnel is being battered for their own mistake.

By d way, how much b 8million sef wey dem no wan pay back? These guys re just bn stupid sha!

Dem palavar, dem business.