₦airaland Forum

[quote author=tpia@]Crappy threads are becoming too many on nl these days.[/quote]whatever.........

byvan: What sort of school will release a pre nursery child to a stranger,only to tell a parent this crap?

How easy can it be really to know the friend of your toddler who can barely talk?

There is no perfect parents,we can only try and pray that God bless our efforts.

sincerely, @byvan, it is unlikely of that school to do such, only God knew what really happened that day, you know, i didnt wait to really get the gist of what happened, all i know is that, in that school, they dont release the kids to strangers, maybe, the friend's mother begged that the kid be released to her and he will get the kid to her parent, or somehow sha, but, hopefully, tomorrow, i'll get the full gist

And as for knowing your toddler's friends, well, as for me, my kids starts schooling at the age of 2+, and by then, they must have started talking, so, when they start going, the first thing i ask from them is who their friend is, and the second day or thereafter, i try to know the kids' parents, but for those who are yet to start talking, its somehow difficult, its only possible when the child start talking.
May God help us all.

I opened this thread because of what happened in my children's school on friday, the mother got to school to pick her son, (the boy is in pre-nursery class) only to be told that the boy said he had gone to wait for her in her friend's place, but alas, the mother did not know any of her son's friend, talk less of the place they live. I know she would get the place later, but dont you think shes supposed to have known his son's friend before then.

How well do you know your children?
Some parents claim they know their children, but do not know their children's friends and their children's friends parents.
Some parents claim they know their children but do not know their children' teacher or have their teacher's phone numbers.
Some parents claim they know their children but do not know where their children buy the foods they eat(for those who allow their children to buy food in the canteen).

And for those who have older kids that are in secondary schools or even higher institutions, how well do you know your children?
Do you know their friends?
Do you know their teachers/lecturers?
Do you know and have you been to their hostels/houses?
Do you know their friends parents and their friend's places/houses.
Do you know when they attend parties, or are you even aware of parties they attend?
Do you unexpectedly pay visit to them in schools? This is very important, it helps you to know who they really are, without any window dressing from them.
Do you know the type of dresses they wear?
Do you know how their rooms look like?
What do you know about their love life, if they are already in higher institutions?
Do you sometimes scroll down their contact in their phone and messages in their inbox?
Do you sometimes go to their facebook wall to know their likes and dislikes and their posts?

Parenthood aint an easy task but wth God's grace and prompt observation, we shall get there.
May God help us all.

sigmond: Dr Jeffrey John, the openly gay Dean of St Albans, has been widely tipped for consideration as Bishop of Durham

and this is the very reason why Anglican Church of Nigeria is no longer part of Anglican Church of England. The Anglican Church of Nigeria is now on her own.

Do you attend every programme in your church?........... No, its only the sunday service that i make sure i dont miss, and sometimes, when there is public holiday on weekdays, i do attend some of the weekly programmes.

saintvc: Does the number of programe you attend have an influence on ones level of spirtuality?

No, it does not, men look outward, but God look inward. Besides, there are so many reasons for attending church, which does not have anything to do with spirituality, also, quality is better than quantity, as in its better to be godly than to be religious, many of those regular church goers are merely religious, but not godly, though, there are some that are both religious and godly, but they are few. And lastly, so many factors contribute to the differences in number of times one goes to church, of which nature of ones job tops the list.
In conclusion, the number of programmes one attends does not have anything to do on ones level of spirituality.
May God help us all.

The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, so, if you can carry out your duties with and in the fear of God, i think you are okay.
My opinion anyway.
May God help you and all of us.

vikeb: I got married abt 3 weeks back nd just now my wife did a preg test nd is comfirmed positive.Seriously speaking,am happy but a little nervous.Got no experience on this nd really don't kw if there are major things I need do now.Morover she still live apart.As she is working her transfer.Pls I wld welcome well nd reasonable advice on this.Thanks so much!

congrats dear, that which God has started shall be completed.

Nothing really to be worried about, if the pregnancy is not a high-risky one, tell her to go and register for ante-natal, its never to early to register for ante-natal, then ensure she takes a lot of fruits and takes a lot of fluid, preferably ordinary water, very much of it, helps in regulating/normalising the water in which the baby lives in the womb called amniotic water.

Moreso, as for you, you will have to be more tolerant, she may start putting up some annoying behaviour, its not her fault, its caused by prenancy hormones, she might be anaemic or easily tired, just tolerate her, also, let her stress be minimally reduced, for the benefit of both of you, and encourage her to exercise, the best way to do that, is for both of you to do it together and finally, do not abandon her, she needs you now more than before, be there for her and satisfy her always on bed, pregnancy(not a high risky one) is not a disease and should not be an instrument of asunder.
Wishing her safe pregnancy and joyful delivery in advance.

sekemba: Pls I nid ur advice,am a married woman wit a set of twins,got married 2yrs back i married my husband cos I was pregnant and didn't want my parents to feel bad since I was d first born. along d line d 1 I truly luvd came back And still single n in love with me,d moment I saw him d love I had 4 him resurrected so strongly. am thinking of telling my husband and getting a divorce,cos aLl I think of nw is my first and tru luv.am so confused.

didnt you know he was your true love when you got pregnant for another man
If hes actually your true love, you would have kept yourself for him, no matter where and how long he would stay at wherever he has gone too.

Well, you want to tell your hubby and get a divorce, o.k, go on, you know what, if one's punishment is in another country, and the person is destined for that punishment, he/she will find a way of getting there, infact, such person can sell off his/her happiness to board a vehicle to where he will suffer sorrow for life........that is irony of life.
If you like yourself and your kids, inasmuch as your hubby is not abusive or cheating on you, you better stay there and enjoy your marriage. That guy you call your true love is a distraction to you and your marriage, better flee from him and be focussed in your marriage, before your hubby start to suspect you and throw you out.


#you never know the value of a thing until you lose it.

I have always said it and i will continue saying it...........................
Next to God's love is mother's love.

May God bless all mothers.

Whether lagbaja or not, may God bless whoever is in the picture.

slimyem: Its easy to pick up one's native language than to learn English..so no,nothing wrong in bringing up one's child with English language in Nigeria.
They'll unconciously and eventually pick up the native language in that environment.

ma, not all of them will eventually pick up their local language o, i have a neighbour whose daughter bears Dayo, shes 16 now, but ordinary "bawoni"?, she doesnt hear you, so, how will she cope afterwards.....

No smoke without fire, op, open up and lets all learn from your case.
Wishing you goodluck.

Since your cousin has begged, then, forgive her and also warn her sternly.

Also, tell your wife to keep her distance, to avoid repetition of what happened before.
Even, you also, keep your distance, lest you be tempted to revenge.
May God help you.

alutacontinua: Thanks ma-am!
May God help you!

you are welcome ma.
Thats why marriage aint meant for immatured minds.
Amen to your prayers and i wish you the same.

Whether to some its good or to some, its bad, i dont want to comment on any of that, but all i know is that i cant ever do it.
May God help me.

alutacontinua: Thank you ma...u're definitely eligible to answer my question.
So, option number 1 is possible...as in, you still think about each other and swear all over again that you would gladly spend the rest of your life with him. If yes, how can somebody work towards that?

1. Always have it in mind that hes a human being, and no perfect human being, unless you want to marry an angel.
2. Concentrate more on his good areas, nobody is totally good and nobody is totally bad, with this, you will find it easy to forgive him when disagreement occurs.
3. Let there be more meaningful communication, never bottle up your grieviances against him, talk it over with him, and after it is resolved, never make reference to it again.
4. If you are a very strict person, sometimes, you will have to compromise, yes, compromise, we are all human being, we cant have our ways all the time.
5. Pray more and pray together.
Never compare your marriage with another marriage.
6. Tolerate him more, if hes not abusive, not a cheat and hes responsible at home, others can be managed and conquered.
Hope i make sense.
May God help you and all of us.

alutacontinua: op, pls, i would like you to expansiate further on this point. When you fall out of the love, what keeps you going? I understand that you fall out of the love....i look at my parents or couples of over 10 years and I definitely know that they don't have that feelings that I have when I think about my boyfriend...but my question remains, what keeps the relationship going when those feelings dissappear? Is it the feeling that you're stuck or what? Please, explain! Other married folks can also explain. Please, if you're not married for 5 years and above, maybe you should not bother.

i think im eligible to answer you, 8+ years and still counting...........

Now, to each his/her own, so, i believe it depends on the individuals involved, some couples dont fall out of love, that does not mean that they will not sometimes have disagreements, but they quickly resolve their disagreements, and they never come short of calling themselves beautiful names, also, they never stopped complimenting each other.
However, some do fall out of love, but the thought of the vow they have both made to each other binds them and they are stuck with eack other, and gradually, the love is formed again. May i put it that, those "falling out of love" we are talking about, are sometimes not intentional, to some, its the burden of financial and other responsibilities that is weighing them down, and he just concentrate on that, instead of not thinking much about it, so that the flame of love btwn him and his wiffy do not go down, and when this happens, the wife concludes that her hubby no longer love her and vice-versa.
And to some, they just have the feeling that after wedding, all these "kiddies play" (according to them, kissing in public, holding your partner's hand while walking, etc are all kiddies play)have to stop, so they start seeing their wives as just anybody and they dont even care to compliment them, to the wives of such, the women may just think that the men no longer love them, which most of the time, not really true.
And the last set are those who married for the wrong and selfish reasons, who are the ones that intentionally fall out of love, examples of their excuses include, shes has become bigger after childbirth, she want to be controlling me, shes no longer as beautiful as when we were dating, shes concentrating more on the kids, e.t.c........such men are the one who have really fall out of love, and its just an excuse for them to become infidels, and for their wives, its the vow and the fact that they have kids for each other that definately stuck them, if the matter do not eventually lead to divorce.
Hope i make sense sha.
May God help us all.

babylast: 12. There is no perfect marriage! Don’t ever be fooled. You can have a healthy marriage.

how i wish everyone understands this and stop comparing their marriages with another marriage.
No two marriages are the same and no perfect marriage anywhere, its all about COMMITMENT, COMPROMISE, TOLERANCE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER.
May God help us all.

Scarpon: I know a good pretender that can do all that

how do you know shes a pretender, which means, you yourself must be good at pretending

#ole nii mese ole to lori apata#

My vote goes to
-vivian chinaza
-idowuogbo

@op, if this story is true, then, its a small issue, i cant advise you to continously deny your hubby of s*x on the basis of tiredness, for how long will that continue neither can i ask you to kill/work up yourself, but, this is your marriage and men's libido is usually higher than that of women, so, knowing this, you will have to devise a means of balancing things up here, thank God both of you are in the same proffession, so, its easier, just change the timing, lobatan, it doesnt have to be continously in the night, do it in the dawn/morning, when you both are still fresh and agile for it, i tell you, from experience, you will enjoy it.

And for those who asked if s*x is a food to men............ hhhhhhhmmmmm, yes, it is, for those who do not know, for example, abuse a man for not been rich, he will say..........na God will do it, but call a man an impotent and see how he reacts madly with you. Men's libido are usually greater/higher than women's. Its God's handiwork. Sincerely, for men who are faithful to their wives, lets give them "gbosas", it requires a lot of self-determination and self control for them, because, naturally, a woman can hardly satisfy a man s*xually, but for the reason that they want to keep to their marriage vows, they controls themselves and close their eyes against all other ladies and are satisfied with only their wives, such men deserve to be treated with all respect and love, and for this singular reason, i dont deny and will never deny my hubby(unless its unavoidably necessary).
No matter how tired a man is, believe me, there is always a reserved energy for s*x for them, thats how God did it, and not much can we do about it.
Also, s*x is one of the essential pillars that hold marriages together, a marriage in which one party continuosly denies the other party of s*x is no longer a marriage, its become "manage" or worststill, neighbours, and no matter how people try to settle the dispute among them, unless the erring party changes, the problem continues, if one party is deprived of s*x.
Btw, s*x has been proved to be a remedy for tiredness.
May God help us all.

@op, i doubt the authencity of this your story, but, if it is actually true, then, it means your dad, mum, wife, elder brother are all in one accord, you are the only one that is innocent, (you are a stranger in your house, as regards this evil trend in your family)even, your sister abroad might have heard about it before, hence, her staying away, and i suspect this can make the fighting of the battle very difficult, but, with God on your side, you will triumph, and you shall become a testimony yourself.
May God see you through o.

I just hope this is fun sha......

Popowaa: I have been thinking about this for while and i thought i will like you to help me answewr this question.
Is a good mother the one whose children has become successful adults or the one who thought her children good principles to guide them in life or the one who sacrificed her happiness and comfort for her children to be happy?I really want to know who u will term as a good mother

all of the above

Like, seriously, i pity this man, chai!!!, look at a 42 years old man, even, his still being alive is a mystery.





Btw, is he marriedif yes, how does he cope
Awon ebi e ku ise o.
May God help them.

Some parents do not really understand the implcation of this their action, recently, a video of 4years old boy having s*x with an almost 12 years old girl was circulated, when the girl is supposed to bath the boy, it was a neighbour who wanted to bath that catch them live and recorded them.....imagine!!!.

If there are no enough rooms, let something abestos, or even wrapper be used to demacate the room for them, so that, those unimaginable things can be prevented.
May God help us all.

In my own opinion, i think not allowing your children speak your indigeneus language is like telling them, indirectly, that, you are not proud of your tribe and its language, atleast, if you are proud of a thing, you will want people to identify you with that thing, and i notice that its mostly common with we yorubas, you can hardly find an igbo or hausa kids, who will not be proud to speak their indigenous languages, even, in public places, but, we yorubas,......hhhhmmmmm, may God help us.

Well, in my own house, we (hubby and i) ensure that our children understand our language very well, infact, its a rule that........
1. You must know the yoruba meaning of whatever you are talking about, so anytime they see a new thing, which they know its english name, i tell them the yoruba meaning and ask them to address the thing in yoruba for a whole week, except in school.
2. Once i speak to you in yoruba, you must respond in yoruba, and it has helped them a great deal to speak the language fluently.


The mistake our people makes is that, once a child speaks totally in English, it makes the child a brilliant child, which is not true sometimes, or even most times, i remember one of my secondary school mates, who could speak english like mad, but repeated S.S1 three time, and the fourth time, she was advised to withdraw, because it was a laid down rule in my school then, that, once a student repeat a class three times, and she also repeat the fourth time, she would be advised to withdraw, but, you need to know this girl, then, even, oyinbo man could not speak english fluently as she used to, but, gbogbo e.....odo ni.
@all, lets all embrace our indigenous languages, and also encourage our kids to embrace it. teni n teni, takisa ni t'aatan.
May God help us.

@op, tell your friend to table an efficient and effective communication with her hubby and make her intention known on what she intends to do, if she really want to work and be less dependent on him....................

In this civilised era/age, any woman that want to bring self esteem to herself must not be too dependent on men, hence, their self esteem will be mixed with mud, just like her case.
May God help her.

@op, i love your write-up.

vivian chinaza: I'm not gonna blab about how easy it is, you know being a mum, a wife and a worker. I'm not there yet so I have no idea, but I do know that nothing is impossible with proper planning.
Having said that, op you are absolutely right! I don't know what some of our ladies are turning into. They are annoyingly lazy and I couldn't help but wonder how they were brought up.
In as much as being a mum, a wife and a career woman is not easy, I'd find a way to make it work cos I have and will still have NO HOUSEHELP POLICY in my home. Whatever the Househelp will do for me I'd monetise it. That way I'd have peace in my own house.

may God help you.

Can debt affect a marriage? Yes! Its physical as well as pychological, once the mind goes there, it makes the person thinks as a failure and such thought goes a long way in adversely affecting one's mind and eventually one's marriage.


Now to the post, it depends on the lady, if she feels like assisting the guy, she can incur part of the debt, but, if otherwise, it happened before the marriage, she may not want to, no problem about that, but where problem is, is that, it will often affect the guy's mindset and that will not be a good omen in the marriage. I believe in sharing, a problem shared is already solved(my opinion), so, if i were the lady, i will take it as our both burdens and hopefully, it shall get off our shoulder very soonest.
May God help us all.