₦airaland Forum

My first A was in my first semester cant remember which course though. In fact i had too many As. Got a 4.0 GPA on a 4 scale that semester. My first F was in 4th yr. Immunology with Dr Stanley was a b*tch. She was literally an oyinbo version of what a witch should be like minus her broom. She declared war on all of us students and made sure we failed the final exams. My mark was so bad that i was asked to retake the exam even though i had a 96% on the midterms which brought my average to 71%, just above the 70% passmark. I refused to retake the exam obviously but i never forgot my first F ever.

Lmao. Poster is someone following u from Naija wey u dey abroad or are you trying to send it to someone abroad? Either way sha, fear God!

Marriage by force!

@OP Na only you waka come? In fact let the man bring the girl to the house, arrange food and drinks for them, make the bed for them and sit down outside the door with soft drink after they finish their tinzzz. Nawa for u o.....

kayciano: since marriage is ur issue here and not pleasurable measures......
u can achieve it outrightly.....
must u condescend to sex b4 marriage....
Y NOT TRY IT DIS WAY....::dont even discuss d issue with lady of ur choice, despite pressures stil remain adamant on NO SEX B4 MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE is like a LUCKY DIP or HAMPER ....u get what u see in it...AFTER ALL ..some dudes get married today, yet get paralyzed d next minute from road traumas. Tell me what happens to d wife...? DOES she now have to quit the marriage...?
I have encountered a scenario,whereby a lady who had hysterectomy som time in d past, stil got married without informing d supposed husband.
SOME MEN insist dat a lady must get pregnant b4 proposal...LET me ask u....WHAT HAPPENS TO DIS LADY, IF AFTER MARRIAGE d supposed pregnancy ABORTS SPONTANEOUSLY DUE TO STRESS FROM D WEDDING ....?
THE problem we also have in this country is dat ...ALMOST EVERYONE IS A god ....so who wil serve the other...?
BY the way, see a medical doctor, some serial treatments wil be commenced for it....

You want him to insist on no sex before marriage so that he can hide his small penis from her.... You see why some women are wary of men who say such because of people like you who abuse it. If you start a marriage based on lies, how do you want it to last?

@OP ^ This is terrible advice. Don't even bother considering it. Imagine if your wife withholds vital information from you than is even worse than your case, I'm sure you will hate her. First of all, seek medical attention. Maybe you can get some medication to increase the size of your penis or something. Secondly, get a PhD in MouthAction and pre-intimacy. If you know how to make a woman orgasm from that, your small penis will be irrelevant. Thirdly, learn how to use intimacy gadgets. It will help spice up your sex life.

mayapop: If he doesn't let you go through his phone all of a sudden; that nigga is cheating

Nawa o. You women try. You check his fone, follow his every move, question him from day to night.... 1st grade detectives. I can't even give myself the amount of heartache you guys do.
@OP If your significant other is going to cheat on you, he will do it. No matter the amount of surveillance and investigation you do. Just make sure that you are mentally prepared whenever you find what you are looking for cos it will not be pretty.

pickabeau1: Firstly you should not take what some people say on this forum seriously as most of the posts are based on positions they will like to hold and not what the issue
A lot of people on some sections attack posters even without reading what the poster said

However before the tsunami, i remember I had some verbal jousting with you as I thought you came across as a lady who hated naija guys.
Maybe i was wrong.. maybe its just the way you came through with your points.


I think education and financial stability is key as more and more, marriages will become a union between matured adults and not the puppy love type you see around. So dont sweat it

Marriage is not the be-all and end-all. Thats the fact.

All the best

I do not hate Nigerian guys. Tbh, I would love to marry someone as close to my culture as possible. It is just the Nigerian mentality that gets to me. From both men and women. If I meet a man who has the same values as me and I love dearly, his race or nationality won't matter to me because it is irrelevant.
At least we agree on something. Today is a good day for me on NL.

pickabeau1: Not related to this thread

I just checked your profile.. if u are theone there.. u are a pretty woman

Im finding it difficult to reconcile the image i have of u of an angry woman with that visage

Why would u think u are unmarriageable

Actually marriage is the least of my problems ATM. I just want to finish med school, make money before settling down. And that might take 6 years from now. I don't think I am unmarriageable, it is what u NL men say when I argue on different posts. I wouldn't mind not getting married. But the way it is pushed on females heads like it is all I should live for is so irritating.

njokusboy: Women, women.. Stop complaining.... Take the bull by the horn....
The relationship you just described is akin to a relationship between a man and his dog..
Alas, like most females, you blame everyone else but yourselves, instead of blaming women for being too needy and desperate, you blame the man for keeping them...
Was the woman bounded hands and foot?? A man cannot keep you against your will. This is why we consider you inferior, you blame us for all your woes, your life revolves around men....
Its no fault of ours, we hold all the cards, the ball is in our court, we woo the women, test drive them, pay or reject them... If you do not like it... Reverse the trend, WOO any man you like, bounce him if he doesn't satisfy you, go see his parents, marry him and bring him int ur home... STOP WAITING TO BE MARRIED, START MARRYING..
But then, we men were made Alpha, we are leaders of the pack, no sane man would subject himself to a womans jurisdiction.. We have standards...

Now imagine if a woman wrote what you are saying now on this thread. All of u nairaland 'alpha' males would have had her head. Women are a direct reflection of our society. You call us dumb and weak but isn't that what you want us to be? You don't want to be challenged by women, yet you say that all our problems are our fault because we are not strong willed. Is that not hypocrisy of the highest order? I am a strong woman and on many occasions i have been told that i wont get married because of my disposition by men. Now how will you blame this on me? I do not consider myself inferior, yet I am not marriageable. There isn't any pleasing you guys, is there?

https://www.nairaland.com/1821041/not-all-african-women-believe#24828505

Not all African women believe 'black is beautiful' and that’s OK - by Sede Alonge

Please front page mod

Toning. Lightening. Brightening. Whitening. While the marketing slogans promoting skin enhancement in Africa might be varied, the underlying effects are pretty identical. Although I do not use skin lightening products, I live in Nigeria where millions of women do.
On offer in my local shops are a myriad of products designed to make dark skin lighter: Kojic acid soaps, fade creams, hydroquinone creams, whitening shower gels made from goat milk and for the more determined: skin lightening injections. So when last month Vera Sidika (pictured above), a popular Kenyan model and socialite, publicly admitted to spending tons of money bleaching her skin, she added fuel to an already smoking hot fire. Just one admission was enough to re-ignite the fierce debate about Africans’s perception of beauty.
A bullish Sidika says she is proud of the way she looks and thinks African societies are hypocritical on this thorny issue. But her honesty roused the ire of many social media users across the continent.

Passions inevitably run high among Africans whenever someone brings into play racial issues. On the topic of skin whitening, emotionally charged slogans such as “black is beautiful” are often employed in an attempt to make women like Sidika feel as if they are somehow betraying their race. Such women are then accused of having inferiority complexes towards white people.

In Nigeria, where 77 per cent of women use skin lightening products, according to a recent World Health Organisation report, the mainstream African commentariat, which is mostly male-dominated, projects a strong bias against the practice. I myself am a dark skinned Nigerian woman who does not use whitening creams or soaps, but I feel that while there are valid health concerns as to the side-effects of skin lightening products, it should remain an individual's prerogative to be who or what they want to be.

Yes, black is beautiful, but so also is white, brown, yellow and the many shades in between.

When white people use tanning lotions, solariums and other methods to darken their skin, it is treated as par for the course and other white people don't feel the need to remind them that “white is beautiful”. In fact, such a statement would likely be regarded as racist by members of other races.

Yes, I understand that there was a specific historical context in the US and elsewhere which, at the time, necessitated the use of the “black is beautiful” slogan in order to boost black people’s sense of self-worth and identity, but this is 2014 and we should have gotten beyond that by now. Or are self-affirming slogans going to be needed by black people forever?

People’s desire to have a particular skin tone, be it a darker or lighter one, stems from them wanting to be more attractive and sometimes for others to take notice. And more often than not, in the case of an individual who has undergone skin lightening here in Africa, it works. The critics might be unwilling to concede this publicly, but the harsh truth is that in Africa, lighter skinned girls do get more attention and are more appreciated than darker skinned women.

It is not unusual to often hear Nigerian men say things like: “Oh, I met this beautiful girl the other day, she had a great body…and she was fair in complexion.” But then these same men would hypocritically voice outrage if a Nigerian woman, especially one in the public eye, openly admitted to bleaching her skin. If skin tone didn’t matter at all to Nigerian men, skin lightening creams and soaps wouldn’t be flying off the shelves over here as they are right now. In Nigerian music videos too, one can notice a glaring preference for lighter skinned females. The niggling suspicion remains that my society is more self delusional on questions of identity and its perception of beauty than it cares to admit.

Physical attraction is instinctive and lighter skinned women are bound to attract more attention from men in a dark skinned society such as Nigeria – just like darker skinned people do in predominantly white societies. Such interest does not have to be due to any sort of complex and is often simply mere curiosity of the different.

Skin lightening should not be automatically regarded as an individual’s outright rejection of their race. If a woman feels that lightening her skin will make her prettier or more confident, then society should let her be and not impose itself as judge and jury on her concept of beauty. It is high-time Africans stop being hysterical and overly-defensive about issues of their self worth and identity.

Sede Alonge is a Nigerian writer, photographer and lawyer.
[img]http://3.bp..com/-vJ84cEUa6D8/U8uVQbxiUuI/AAAAAAADNcw/HJjUYBb7pq8/s1600/Sede-Alonge-Headsh_2978002c.jpg[/img]http://lindaikeji..com/2014/07/not-all-african-women-believe-black-is.html

Empiree: See how Nigerian support genocide. U support zionists. Definitely u deserve what going on in ur country, too. This so called Israel can not be defending itself on stolen land. Now Christians on this forum are going to be quoting Bibles about how loving God gave the land to the jews. The same Christians would turn the other way when violent verses are quoted from same Bible. They would say that's old T for the jews yet u support them. U are confused people. U support the wrong people.

1- You (Christians) revered Jesus so much that u call him God and son of God.

2- Muslims/Arabs also revered him so much that they claim he's one of the most powerful messangers of God.

3- Jews say Jesus is bastard and cursed one. So they killed him according to Christians. Yet Christians throw their support for the people who called their God bastard and cursed one. You support killers of ur God. You really confused.

As far as the Holy Land goes, the zionists ruling over the land are European jews (i:e White people who embraced Judaism). Real Jews are oriental. They are not White. They are just like Arabs and they live amongst Arabs. They (oriental Jews) are banned by God from the Land. They can be there as tourists but they cant claim it has their own. But they have claimed it as their own in form of European jews which is predominantly Atheists. And you (Christians) think this current Israel resembles that of King David and Solomon, you need to have Doctor check ur brain.

Fantastic! These same jews who are so racist that they dont identify any black jewish people as real jews. And then you see these foolish NLers parading up and down calling themselves Jews. I laugh in all languages. There is a genocide going on in Gaza and they are all too stupid to realise it. Do not trust mainstream media because the propaganda has gotten ridiculous. Everyday Isreal breaks the same peace treaty by encroaching into Palestine land that these people have been living on even before Jesus walked on this earth. Yet you support evil people that were given bought land in the last century. Read your history books and stop swallowing fed lies!!!

Wow!! The comments are so judgemental and abusive from so called 'Christians'. It was a choice he had and he chose not to go. Jude did not even come on social media to attack him so everybody needs to mind their business. Nigerians and their hypocrisy. Smh.

MissMeiya: Africans have been so thoroughly violated by colonialism. They don't even know what their culture is anymore.

Homosexuality was an accepted part of many African cultures before it was trampled out by colonial missionaries. The white man told you homosexuality is wrong. Now you think you have always hated it. You tell the white man not to bring in something you forgot you once had.

The white man told you you weren't wearing enough clothes. That you were "indecent". Now you think baring your skin is "un-African". You tell the white man not to corrupt you with their un-African núdity.

The white man told you to worship their god. Now you have surpassed them in religious fanaticism, and you call them heathens.

I weep for my the DESTRUCTION of my people's history and culture. We don't even know what was ours anymore. Confusion.


And believe me, I can back ALL of this up with historical publications and respected research journals.

Im officially in love with this post. Nice one.

She is a beauty. Proud to be Nigerian

fellis:
Are you for real? So if your dad gives his millions to charity it won't upset you at all?
Hmmm. Hard to believe.

Charity with a good cause is better than me buying diamonds, unnecessary trips overseas, cars, houses and other material things. I will respect him a lot more if he does something like that. My dad has given me everything monetarily I can ever wish for. If he can help other people in his death, I will be even more proud of him.
His wealth does not concern me. I am trying to build my empire now.

I dont believe in inheritance. And i have told my father that. Inheritance should be for children whose parents died before they could finish university or make it on their own. I believe that once a child becomes an adult he/she should be able to fend for themselves and let their parents enjoy their money and be comfortable in old age. Inheritances especially large ones make children lazy and they often squander the wealth of the parents because they didnt work hard for it.
My dad is rich. He has land and businesses worth over hundereds of millions of naira but when i finish med school, i want none of it because i dont need it. I have told him i want to be richer and more powerful than him and without his money. Even if he dies tomorrow, the money i will need from him will be just enough to cover my tuition and living expenses. After that, nothing else.

Lmao! Wtf is this s**t? Seun must ansa

This was honestly a cringeworthy match to watch. I predicted a German win but not in this way. Brazil were useless in the defense and I hold it all down to David Luiz. He was captain and part of the back 4 and I expected him to hold his own there. They were so disorganized behind and there was no leadership to show them a way out of their mess. He also was not keeping his position and kept pushing forward. I think the absence of Thiago Silva was felt more than Neymar in my opinion. Neymar couldn't have scored enough goals to make up for the incompetence of the Brazillian defense anyway. I am honestly disappointed. I expected a cracking, edge of your seat match and all I received was a one sided bland match.
The Germans were clinical and have always been my favorites to win the tournament. They have shown exactly how deserving they are of the title and I am really looking forward to the finals on Sunday.

This topic is ridiculous and the comments even more. It's so sad how Nigerians have become so materialistic that even their self worth, self respect and self esteem has to suffer just because of worldly things. I can never see our society moving forward as long as we continue to have this mindset.
I mean who can tell the future? The cheating rich man can become broke in an instant and a broke faithful man can become rich. It shouldn't even matter what a person is worth monetarily, ambition matters even more. As a woman with pride, a man should even be afraid to cheat on you, rich or poor, because he knows you will be out the door. Putting someone on a pedestal gives room for that person to treat his underlings like rubbish and the same dynamic exists in a marriage.

Okay i amjust going to say it. Yes! I amquite shallow in terms of looks and who
I am attracted to have a relationship with. My best friend is good looking but doesnt do anything for me in terms of sexual attraction. We have our common interests and has always been the only person who understands me inside out. But i repeat, i amnot attracted to him. How hard is it for people to understand that.

ERTHAENIGMA: i'm sure that's what you tell yourself. But it's the truth. You are one of those girls that'd be like. 'i never knew i had feelings for him until he blah blah blah. I'm not blaming you. That sh*t is hard-wired into your DNA. 6yrs and no single strand of romantic affection? Abegi!

Are you telling me there are girls that you are friends with that you are not remotely attracted to? Sigh. I think it is high time i stopped explaining myself

BigBen10: so how are you friends with someone who isn't your type and you are not gis type either. nawa oh. people sha. personally I can't be friends with even guys who are not my type. I select my friends specially. there must be alot of tins we have in common before we can be friends. like some said there must be common interest(not just one but many common interest)

I meant the type of person i would be attracted to physically or sexually. It is not that hard. :-/

ERTHAENIGMA: wait until he gets a girlfriend. You would come back here and start wailing that ' i tried to be the best friend possible but he overlooked me for another girl. I'm i not good enough to be his bf?

Lool. He has a gf. 4 yrs and counting and Idgaf.

obayaya: Really? That's all I can say about the bolded. You can't just become friends with someone who isn't your type or who you aren't attracted to (I removed the sexually intentionally)

Well, if only you can just bring it up in a harmless conversation and if only he can be completely honest about it?

I'm not saying he is o. but his reply may shock you.

There's no need for that. I won't say I haven't thought about it. A lot of people thought we were going out for a long time. My relatives and friends tease me about him and my mum absolutely wants me to marry him. None of that will ever happen because I can't even imagine myself having sex with him. It seems so absurd.
We've been through a lot together, and if he truly had feelings for me and couldn't man up to tell me, I have really misjudged him.

ihedinobi2: So the romance is not failing because of you, it's because of him, isn't it? You would take it a notch up if he made the move, wouldn't you?

He isn't my type either. And he knows it. It is even evident by the guys I date. Plus I would have told him a long time ago that I was interested in him. I am frank with people and I am not shy. Least of all with him.

Acidosis: Okay then, never knew he's your Cousin/Brother...

He is like a brother to me as well. I know you meant that as an insult, you didn't achieve your goal.

obayaya: Can you do me a favor?

Can you ask that guy if he has ever thought of getting intimate with you but shelved the idea so as not to put you, him and the friendship in a difficult situation?

His honest reply might shock you

He has a girl friend and I am still single. I think that is enough proof. Maybe I am not his type or he is not sexually attracted to me. Have you thought about that? It doesn't even matter to me because that's not what our friendship is about. We have been friends for 6 good years and I relish every moment of it.

Acidosis: Can you sleep on the same bed with him?

Have you ever slept on a single bed together?

Many times. Infact I have shared a bed with him and his girlfriend once. It was so funny because we were tired from an outing and all fell asleep in different positions on the bed. Fond memories.

@Mynd_44
Lol, which girl broke your heart to warrant this article? I have male friends. In fact my closest friend is a guy. He knows me inside out and all my secrets as do I know all of his. I am not a selfish person. I have never asked him for money and will never use him because I genuinely care about him. He has never asked me for sex and I would not expect such a request from him. He is someone I trust whole heartedly and cannot imagine doing some of the things you listed to him. I can say I truly love him, but as a friend. My life will be incomplete without him, virtually meaningless.
That is how much of a friend he is to me. So all the hogwash you wrote up there about the opposite gender being friends should tell you that different people have different experiences. You can't simply be friends with every woman you meet, but you can have a female friend.
Selfishness does not constitute friendship and if you base a relationship on what you can get from it, it will never last.

ladyinred: New things I've learnt today abt marriage, based on the OP and some comments on here,
1. when 2 consenting adults hv s*x without protectn and sum1 ends up pregnant, d girl was trying 2 trap d guy into marriage all along.
2. for some men, when it comes 2 family, wives don't count: it's jst their parents, children and siblings.
3. for those men magnanimous enuf 2 think of their wives as family, said wives r d least important members of d family, and ofcourse replaceable.
4. ur mother must always come b4 ur wife- always strive 2 make mummy happy even at wifey's xpense: never mind abt ur wife. she doesn't count anyway.
5. it's ok for u and ur parents 2 decide where ur kids live and where they shld spend their holidays without informing d kids' mother b4 hand. Reason? Refer to 4.
6. a husband is d commander-in-chief of his wife: anything he says, goes. No arguments. Absolute obedience is required from Wifey at all times.
7. any wife dat 4gets her place and shows her humanity, is a witch.
8. if ur wife starts saying no to certain things u do, or starts having a mind of her own and stops being ur doormat, u've 2 show her who's d boss.
9. start by scolding and threatening her. if that doesn't wrk, corporal punishment is required: Slapping, kicking, flogging, punching and back-flipping are all viable options. Just make sure she gets d message. Beat her to submission.
10. when u're bored with 9, throw her out of ur house. Afterall, she's disposable.
Happy married life, people!

You read my mind. I cant marry any man who thinks like this which is more than half of the Nigerian population. The way forward for me now looks like an
Oyinbo man.

apache77:
u r in trouble bro...kick her asz out....you are not being firm..
my wife, wen we were dating was very refractive- as in very stubborn. i could come to see her and she will tell me get out- boota- it was dat bad. One night wen we had issues, and i was trying to stop her from stomping away in anger, she slapped me. I just held her and didnt even vex. she later put it down to being tipsy. i forgot the issue and just hung in der, swallowing all the shitt she handed down for years.....
till one fateful night in 2009 wen she misbehaved, while we were out.

I descended on her so brutally while a friend was driving us back home, she opened the door of the fast moving car to jump down- it would hav been manslaughter.We had to stop, i beat the hell out of her she crawled under the car and more than two dozen cars had to crowd round us cos people following thought it was a kidnap attempt. That was five years ago.

But since that day, the lose screw in her head tightened back and she has been very pliable, very amenable now. We are married now and no issues- she is the most humble wife you can think of- and i dont threaten her or try to lord over her- no. Just a loving relationship, but she has it at the back of her mind, this her husband can be a beast if he decides to.

She initially never liked my own friends and people around me- just her own people and friends- but now the tide has changed- its more my people around us now and my friends and no one complains- she always has a nice demeanour towards everyone. Matter of fact, as I speak, she is not just in family home, two cities away, but has even followed my mum to our village home- they have a great relationsnhip and I am happy.

This was a very very refractive woman who made our relationship hell- of all of us who dated it was difficult for any one man to get a handle on her, but I have tamed her and we have a wonderful relationship. Infact, right now, she is the one putting in all the effort to make the marriage work while I just cross my legs and watch her in amusement.

I think the single most decisive moment in our relationship was that fateful night 3years into our relationship when i beat the hell out of her- that singular moment turned the tables and told her i was firmly in charge.

You may need your own decisive moment too, to save your marriage...and your sanity, if its not too late already

Nawa o. Didnt know people support DV like this in Naija. Shey women are properties like goats that should be beaten,eh? Lesson learnt. I am not marrying a Nigerian man ever. Case closed.

I just travelled 2 days ago on a flight to London. i think there were only 2 Nigerians like me on the flight and the rest were mostly British. i experience the periodic farting.... it was horrible. I think Oyinbo mess is worse than any other type of mess i have experienced in my life *pukes*
I also experienced the drinking thing too. An oyinbo lady sitting beside me drank nearly 8 bottles of the small wines they serve on BA. It got so bad that she went to sleep, woke up 2 hrs later and was nearly delirious. It took the intervention of 2 of the flight attendants to calm her down. They took her to the back of the plane and she disappeared for an hr. When she returned, I saw another 2 bottles of wine in her hand

So please don't generalise.... Nigerians are not the only ones that do things like that. You need to travel other routes and see that human beings of all races and creeds are the same everywhere.