₦airaland Forum

Ehn ehn, how is this news? Does he not a people? Abi why shall he shy to take pics at mama put.

Btw where is d food he is eating?

Nice post, not what I was expecting. There were repetitions and some points I dnt totally agree wt, but cul mssg

All these yeyebrities sha, like u can't look beautiful and classy without exposing urself. There will come a time these pple will only wear pant and bra and normal clothes and of course we'll av their fans following the trend. Smh

CzarChris:
We all condemn the military' action, but we are forgetting one very important detail. Why on earth would someone block a federal Highway and ask that nobody should pass, even the COAS? What impudence, it beats my imagination."A FEDERAL HIGHWAY ".
On the above story, I doubt it's authenticity, cos people always say stuff like these in situations like this to wipe up emotions./sentiments. But an investigation should be called for to determine the validity of the claim.

Of course I don't support the Shiites' actions, I don't even support their ideologies, but pple are too quick to rubbish their claims, they cld be saying the truth. Thorough investigations shld be carried out.

minwafor:
My sister God will bless you. If all the members of this forum will all discredit this report: I will not. it is quite unfortunate that objectivity has been thrown overboard in this forum all because of parochial interest and supporting a particular party. I am thinking that I spend my precious time on a forum that the members do nothing but cursing and wiping up tribal sentiment.

If the mods don't clean up this forum, I am signing out and leaving it for real.

May God bless u too.
Yh, I understand u, it's appalling really.

Na wa o. Never knew we av so many wicked hearts. Many of the pple shouting 'lies' are just plain ignorant of the events tht took place. The army didn't just massacre these pple on the highway, they went ahead to attack them in their homes, destroy their houses, kill more pple including women and children, destroy their mosques and cemetery, etc. I don't know if they were raped or not, but they cld very well be saying the truth, yet many Nigerians who can't see beyond their nostrils, hail the trigger happy animalistic army while persecuting the oppressed.

More grease to ur elbows, I pray u or ur family don't become victim of circumstances, then we'll all gladly come out and call u liars when u start wailing.

@ifymagik

Wow! My advice is av a discussion wt her and let her know ur reasons for not subscribing to the premarital sex thingy. I wnt be surprised if she is already sleeping around bt decides to tell u so probably when u catch her, u'll blame urself rather than fault her.

She cld be a nymphomaniac and such wld probably cheat on u even after marriage.
If there is nothing more or hidden to ur no-sex b4 marriage principle then stick to it, don't compromise it for any reason, look beyond her, there are lots of ladies tht wld appreciate u for it

pcguru1:
Or you mean financial dependent ?

Don't mind me jare. I wasn't too oriented while typing. Thanks for the correction

Nice write-up. Only a fool wld be financially dependent on a man wt the current situation of things. This is 21st century, all the 18th-19th century mentality shld be in the past where they belong

officialmcfresh1:
The simple truth is if you ain't got money no girl will be 100% loyal to you as a guy. About Nigerian girls and relationship issues I'm just tired and don't care about them again. I go just kukuma wait to make money then I go pick girl to born for me. Simple. They ain't worth it.

So it is hermaphrodites tht are marrying the poor and struggling guys abi. I don't get what guys whine abt women all after money, there are lots of Nigerian women marrying struggling men everyday, lots of women who even set up their husbands in business and all. Yes, there are vain pple who only care abt money, and some who wld''t look at a poor guy twice, not tht I blame them anyway, most guys ain't worth suffering wt.

AnakinSkywalker:
Hypocrites talking about women as ''love peddlers''.

Keep your insatiable lust for women in check, then you wont have anything to complain about.

How about not giving a lady money because she refused sex? Or not helping her with her challenges because she refused your advances?
How about breaking up with a lady and returning or trying to come back just because she is rich or met a richer better guy?
What about sleeping with other girls including her friends and seeing them as conquests and trophies?
How about looking for sugar mummies and dating married women? In sexuality section etc. you drop numbers for sexchat and suggar mummies.
How about flaunting your cars, phones and throwing your wealth in her face?Talking big to impress?Showing your six packs and ripped arms?
How about going diabolical also. You guys use charm to do the wooing? Yes it happens even till date.
How about purposefully not helping her because she starved you of sex. And starving her of affection and empathy?
How about copying numbers from her phone to sex chat with her friends? Ogling at them and looking for the ones you call free givers?

Humans. You point one finger at someone while 3 fingers point back at you.
Nigerian men still believe only women can be wh..ores or commercial s ex workers. Men can be wh.ores and as a matter of fact, wicked who..res
Men also exhibits these ''whorerish'' traits and if you critically observe how many of these men behave, they are as terrible, and even worse than the ladies.

May God bless u abundantly. Many of these guys are just plain hypocrites, some men are worse than dogs yet they'll find stupid reasons to justify their lack of morals, but always look for flaws in women.
The woman is expected to be the epitome of perfection and moral uprightness but guys can do anything they wish, some can only think wt their little heads, yet also come out to call ladies slut, when they are man who-res themselves.
I don't support ladies doing any of the things listed by the OP, but stop painting men esp Nigerian men like they are saints and women are the only ones wt flaws and bad eggs.

babysophie:
I am talking frm personal experience. I am a product of polygamy n it is so horrible. Fnx for d insight on d Quran concerning it n i hope dose practising it wil do it rightly.

Eeyah, sowie. May God strengthen us.
Uwc, are u a Muslimah?

MrLP:
Impress with car? Nope. Impress by doing things she didnt ask...that is normal. As for the, she is carried away with so much attention she is getting. she is quite cute and beautiful. She is just 24 so i cant blame her orientation

Curious, what exactly do u love abt her? Her beauty? Cos it's obvious she is lacking in every other aspect. That is how some guys will keep chasing pple unappeciative of them in the name of love, the unlucky ones marry them and live for the rest of their lives in misery.
Why wld u keep chasing someone who doesn't see u as anything other than one of the magas she can take advantage of when need be, when there are lots of ladies even prettier than her who will love and appreciate ur gestures. U better carry face and start ignoring her

mostyg:
On the issue of polygamy, I can see that we are on the same page as long as all necessary conditions are met. This is the injunction of our creator.
I will differ with you on the verse on polygamy, there is no where it emphasized marriage to widows. Even if emphasis is on widow, for the sake of argument, will women still accept them as a co-wives with no resistance?

And u think those requirements are very light? Polygamy is only permitted in Islam not encouraged becos a man even if he thinks he has all the means is taking a high risk as regards displeasing his Lord.
Of course, there is an emphasis on widows and orphans, this goes wt the historical backing of the verses, when they were revealed. Let's go to the verses:
4:3- If ye fear tht ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of ur choice, two, or three or four; BUT IF YE FEAR THAT YE SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY (with them), THEN ONLY ONE, or that which ur right hand possess. THAT WILL BE MORE SUITABLE TO PREVENT YOU FROM DOING INJUSTICE.
Q4:129- Ye are never able to do justice between wives, even if it is ur ardent desire-
What is this saying? It isn't a contradiction but a hidden template for those who reflect.
Some hypocritical men wld claim they are trying to do the sunnah by marrying more than one wife, forgetting the Prophet mainly married widows and divorcees and had only one virgin wife. They can follow the sunnah in tht way but won't follow the sunny as regards dealing wt their wives. Even the Prophet was scared of doing injustice among his wives.
Some men av abused this polygamy issue to the extent of marrying and divorcing women as they wish, as long as they dnt go beyond 4 at a time. Polygamy wasn't allowed to satisfy men's sexual whims or inflate a ego but out of compassion for women, at a time it was really needed.
Do u think it's easy having to share one's husband? Even great women like Sarah and Aisha had their share of jealousy talk more we trying to hold on to and build our faith.
Give an answer to this, wld u want to share ur wife with any man? Can u even imagine how u wld feel having to share ur loved one wt someone else?

mostyg:
On the issue of polygamy, I can see that we are on the same page as long as all necessary conditions are met. This is the injunction of our creator.
I will differ with you on the verse on polygamy, there is no where it emphasized marriage to widows. Even if emphasis is on widow, for the sake of argument, will women still accept them as a co-wives with no resistance?

And u think those requirements are very light? Polygamy is only permitted in Islam not encouraged becos a man even if he thinks he has all the means is taking a high risk as regards displeasing his Lord.
Of course, there is an emphasis on widows and orphans, this goes wt the historical backing of the verses, when they were revealed. Let's go to the verses:
4:3- If ye fear tht ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of ur choice, two, or three or four; BUT IF YE FEAR THAT YE SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY (with them), THEN ONLY ONE, or that which ur right hand possess. THAT WILL BE MORE SUITABLE TO PREVENT YOU FROM DOING INJUSTICE.
Q4:129- Ye are never able to do justice between wives, even if it is ur ardent desire-
What is this saying? It isn't a contradiction but a hidden template for those who reflect.
Some hypocritical men wld claim they are trying to do the sunnah by marrying more than one wife, forgetting the Prophet mainly married widows and divorcees and had only one virgin wife. They can follow the sunnah in tht way but won't follow the sunny as regards dealing wt their wives. Even the Prophet was scared of doing injustice among his wives.
Some men av abused this polygamy issue to the extent of marrying and divorcing women as they wish, as long as they dnt go beyond 4 at a time. Polygamy wasn't allowed to satisfy men's sexual whims or inflate a ego but out of compassion for women, at a time it was really needed.
Give an answer to this, wld u want to share ur wife with any man? Can u even imagine how u wld feel having to share ur loved one wt someone else?

daretodiffer:
I am single.

I know it is hard satisfy women sexually. Women who beg their husbands to get a second wife might still have trouble getting sexually satisfied. It is more complicated than that.

The number of times you are willing to have sex does not determine how good you are or enjoyable you find the act. This fact been proven over and over again. Therefore it is wrong to assume that a nymph have sex frequently because he/she finds the act enjoyable.

I don't really have a problem with polygamy. It has its own advantages however I don't see why most men bother. They claim Islam yet most of them would rather go for a youth instead of a divorcee or a widow. There is no way on earth, a man is going to justify that to me. It is just selfishness.


Women also have sex till their very late periods although not as much as men. Personally, I think it could be primarily due to social and economic reasons. I don't think older men can claim to have the sex vibrant energy or to be easily aroused like the way it used to be. Therefore I strongly believe that most older men who claim such nonsense are merely trying to feel powerful and attached.


I wasn't the one that mentioned a camp. However I used to do IVC.

Thank u, my sister. The verse tht was revealed as regards polygamy pointed more towards marrying widows, how many men marry widows or divorcees? Many of the men who go into polygamy av no justification other than selfishness and at the end of the day, they don't follow the guidelines and conditions needed for a polygamous home wtout going against God and man.

Not bad. I hope she is able to maintain it tho

daretodiffer:
I have been good.

IVC camp? How was it?

Good to hear. I can see hw u've been giving it to erring fellows.
Not IVC itself, but also a dawah camp like IVC. Alhamdulillah, it made sense, highly educating and I made new friends,helped out wt the health committee, all in all, it was good.
What av u been up to?

daretodiffer:
A man that wants to marry a second wife must be ready to

-carry all financial burdens. I ain't spending a penny out of money for anyone
-and fufill all sexual needs. All sexual encounters must be satisfactorily. If he can't discharge that duty, you are free to call the whole world on his head. I am waiting for man who can do that. Ni be me send am



Where have you been?

Abi o, my sister. And some men who can barely fend for themselves sef will join say (merin lolohun wi), wc is a lie anyway cos their is more to those verses than tht, but they chose to pick wht suits them.

I'av been around o, I guess I was banned or something, I just logged in oneday and saw I cldn't make comments, don't knw what tht was. I'av been quite busy too, went for a camp and didn't even av time for phone. Hope u're good?

mostyg:
Hello my good sister,
I started this thread as a follow up to a previous one seeking advice on how to design a house for 2 wives, the link is here https://www.nairaland.com/2813888/architectural-design-house-two-wives .Most people's understanding is that polygamy is evil and it only benefit the man whose intend is to satisfy his sexual urge. As someone who came from a polygamous home, you should be in the best position to advice.

My question here is 'Why do we marry?' Are we not suppose to consider how marriage influence the society, its social-economic impact, its effect on population growth? It is only when marriage is taken as a personal affair that the negative aspect of polygamy is seen while the benefits are given away.

What is the Islamic ruling on adultery? why does adultery attracts a capital punishment? why does it take 4 witnesses to testify (seeing the act and not speculating) when the accused wouldn't have used a stadium?
The Islamic injunctions are always preventive so as to protect the society. Individual would face his Lord to account for his deeds but the society has to be protected so that weak one are not lured into sins because of what goes around them.
If we want to protect the society by banning fornication and adultery, by encouraging (early) marriage, by banning prostitutes and prostitution, by assisting widows and divorces, we may not practice polygamy but should not condemn it.

I agree with you that men abuse the institution of polygamy (as terrorists abuse the use of hijab), should we discourage it because of some individuals?
No woman would want to share her husband with anyone but when the reality of sharing comes (especially when widowed, divorced) their opinions always change.

Allah knows best.

Hi. I grab ur points. The way polygamy is practiced by the pple who do influences hw pple view it. I'm from a polygamous home bt I can't say I enjoy it in any form bt I'av seen few homes where polygamy is practiced and there is still relative peace and happiness enof to sustain everybody. Note the 'few'.
We all marry for different reasons, ranging from:
- Seeking companionship, support and having someone to spend one's life wt
- legal sex and procreation
- Religious reasons
- the society encourages it
etc.
Yh, the influence of marriage on the Society has to be considered. There are basic conditions a man must clear b4 being permitted to practice polygamy. Most esp the financial capacity, psychological capability and also sexual. A man tht can barely fend for just a wife and her children shld''t even dream of going into polygamy, the man wld just keep up breeding children he can't cater for, cos the new wives wld most likely want to compete as regards child-bearing.
- psychological capability and maturity, some men can't even manage a monogamous home effectively, how will he cope wt polygamy? He will only end up compounding his problems and building a chaotic home.
- Sexuality also, a man tht can barely satisfy just one woman, it cld be due to physical incapabilties or lack of time, how wld such satisfy two or more women?
Of course, no one wld want to share a life partner, if the roles were reversed wld u be happy sharing ur wife wt any man? Women in polygamy (referring mainly to the 1st wives since the other women knew wht they were getting themselves into) are really trying, can u imagine having to share ur wife wt another man and still have to be nice and loving to the wife and also the man u're sharing her wt?
I'm personally not against polygamy (it's a lesser evil compared to adultery), although I don't buy the excuse of it being a preventive measure against adultery, an adulterous man wld commit adultery even wt 100 wives, most men even commit adultery b4 bringing the 2nd wife in, probably even after she is pregnant already. A man can do wtout adultery and polygamy wtout dying, it depends on the mindset and level of self control.
I'll try my best to make and build a good home wt my husband (in sha Allah) but, If a man decides to marry other wives, wetin concern me, it is his headache, as long as his responsibilities to me isn't affected and I av my children to face and nurture. He can marry 100, he is the one to bear the strains, giving oneself unnecessary headache over tht is a waste of time and energy. Just do good and look the other way when u're being repaid wt otherwise

babysophie:
polygamy is very dangerous in Nigeria,especially wre d man is a bit comfortable financially. Negative competition results wen d women start destroying everything that will increase dem,for example,dey wil start killing each other's children so dt d man's wealth wil b for dem alone. At d end,d women wil turn d husband to a zombie.

Lolz, I guess too much nollywood films influenced ur comment although u're right in some ways.
I'm from a polygamous home and sincerely I dnt wish it for my worst enemy. But I think the success of the polygamous home depends largely on how the man manages his home and the mindset of the wives. Most women coming as second wife come wt the mindset to destroy the home and the relationship the man has wt the 1st wife- If the 1st wife is also troublesome then more trouble in the home and when the man decides to take a third, the 2nd wife most times puts up most fight forgetting she did it to another woman.
The basis for polygamy in Islam was mostly out of compassion for women nt for sexual gratification of men (going by the historical backing), even the quranic verses tht permit it has an hidden template to it, wc only wise men who aren't blinded by their personal whims will get. Islam only permits polygamy, it doesn't encourage it. Men are allowed to marry up to four wives on the condition tht they do justice btw all otherwise marry just one wc is the best for u. Then the Quran goes on to say 'and u cannot do justice among them even if u wish to'.(wht is this saying?) .
Sure u can't love them equally but u av to do justice in every other aspect. How many men in polygamy are doing justice in their homes? They think they are enjoying themselves (nt sure wht the enjoyment is sef, sleeping wt different women or what?) not knowing they are incurring more sufferings for themselves cos it's no joke doing justice among women and at the same time they'll account for it, and wld be punished for it (if they fall short) if nt in this life but surely in the hereafter for not taking on the command ascribed to polygamy wc is JUSTICE.
A wise man blessed wt a loving and wonderful wife wld steer clear of polygamy if he knew what is best for him and not blinded by his personal whims, the enjoyment he is seeking is temporary compared wt the loads of account and punishments (if he falls short), he'll face from his Lord.

The girl is very stupid, but the guy deserves what he got and wld still get. Useless man, if she hadn't exposed him sooner, she probably wld av lived wt the blackmail for long, and he has some what marred her future wt exposing her pics. He shld rot in jail, he goat, he will learn nt to mess wt women

Rafidi:
Before elections, you visit him, shake him and bend down to him; after elections, attack him, shoot him, beat him, kill his followers, demolish his houses that you visited him in (and call the building illegal) and demolish worship place and then want to take him to court. let us see which court will find this sheikh guilty of any "crime". let us see if procession/protest and practicing beliefs different from the majority is a crime in any democracy that deserves killings and prosecution. or may be Mr. El Rufai will have to take the sheikh to a military court?

what crime has a man whose followers clashed with the army last year, and have 30 of his members and three sons killed committed?

what crime has a man whose followers blocked a highway and got shot by soldiers committed?

what crime has a man whose house was attacked, after the army chief's convoy had passed committed?

what crime has a man whose worship center was attacked, after the army chief's convoy had passed committed?

what crime has a man whose followers got shot in cold blood and extra judicially committed?

what crime has a man who was shot along with his wife and son committed?

what crime has a man whose deputy was shot committed?

i think if anyone deserved prosecution it is Mr. El Rufai himself. and will those who killed civilians go scot-free? will they be made to face justice?

Mr. El-Rufai should find ways to make reconciliation and beg the man for the sins committed against him, his family members and his followers. not take him to court. this is a democracy. you dont send soldiers to kill people in their backyard and get arrested by soldiers as if you are fighting terrorists or a foreign army. if El Rufai doesnt seek reconciliation and how to make peace with this man and his organization, the below handshake will be a divine curse upon El Rfufai and his family till eternity.

when 30 members of zakzzaky's movement and three of his sons were killed last year, el rufai did not call for zakzaky to be prosecuted. he instead described the Nigeria Army as "Jonathanian Genocidal Army". what has changed Mr. EL Rufai?

[img]http://4.bp..com/-U9yJcHK2Gwg/VnCA7SZDXlI/AAAAAAAHrcM/0vv9TqlC8Kc/s1600/0.jpg[/img]

[img]http://1.bp..com/-dAHPkGBiESw/VnCA7yR53eI/AAAAAAAHrcQ/Hxyfh4m1VYE/s1600/1.jpg[/img]

Gbam!!!

It's cos of the society and the moral decadence afflicting it, the media promotes it, we all want to be like the whites copying their ways of life, etc.
Nowadays, pple even brag abt the no of sexual partners they av. Some 15yr olds sef av more than 2 sexual partners, and nudity is gradually becoming synonymous wt beauty, it's like some ladies feel they can't look good wtout exposing themselves, claiming to be flaunting what they av. The pple who manage to stick wt a sense of moral, decency and stand firm against premarital sex are seen as the weirdos and abnormal ones, some do it to feel among or accepted.
But I wld say the Society manifests the type of women therein, if the women are decent wt gud morals it will surely influence the Society. If a Society is gud, look at the women, if otherwise still look at the women. Like the Prophet said, train a man, train one person, train a woman, u train a nation. The Society is the product of the women in tht Society, the values emphasized on by the mother will av a lot of impact on the offspring. Sincerely, this generation is still manageable, I hope sometime soon, our women wnt be wearing pant and bra as normal daily wear .It's the end times, when women will wear clothes yet na-ked.
At the end of the day we all make our choices but nt everyone is lucky enof to escape the manifest consequences of pre-marital sex.
# Saynotopremaritalsex

Medunah:
Nopes nd I jzt searched for him nd I didn't find him...... Beverly kendall is my fav, most of her books av bin published thou and sold online so most of her works on wattpad has bin pulled down by her, only sneak peeks are left buh she is a very good writer

His works are the Robber knight trilogy (the robber knight, robber knight love, robber knight secret), storm and silence, among others. These are the ones I'av read tho, and they are quite interesting.
Beverly Kendall, I'av not really noticed tht name. What works of hers av u read? And what genre of novels do u like?

Wow! Nw I'm gonna cry. True love fa, and the lady is even older. Tht is why we say don't marry mainly for the physical attributes, the beauty can be lost in seconds, and the lovely figure can be deformed in mins (God forbid), so make sure u truly love the person for who he or she is. I wish the couple quick recovery.
Made me remember a family friend who had a similar story, although the woman only had the accident wt a fractured leg, few months to the wedding, the man refused to marry her. Thank God her legs are ok nw and she is happily married.

Medunah:
Thanks, wattpad is my haven wen am bored

Same here o, as in I almost got addicted. Look at my Sig, my new crush is Sir Rob Thier, av u read any of his books?

awesome11:
Yea.
I already searched but the thread wasn't fetched by the different search strings I used.
I wouldn't mind having a chat with you on WhatsApp tonight.

Eeyah, sowie. I'm so so sorry, I slept off very early last nt, just seeing ur mention. Hope u're up now.
Let me tell u what I do when I feel down.
- I try to find out why (sometimes I feel down for no manifest reason, crazy mood swings)
- I try to work on the reason for my sad mood. If it's something I had done and can still change or improve, I work on it bt if something I no longer av any control over, I find a reason to be happy or just tell myself, it's in the past and life goes on.
- I read novels
- I watch comedy videos
- I surf the internet
- I'm nt really music driven but It works, nt slow ones tho
- I chat wt a friend or go out (nt an outing freak tho)
This is what I do, I don't knw if it was helpful or not, but look at my Sig, u might nt av a geranium bt don't worry be happy!
Av a lovely Sunday

The pple tht board the plane sef don't love themselves. A plane they use Nepa ladder to climb in surely can't be in mint condition. I will pick race if I see such ni.
The govt and the pple responsible for tht anomaly no get shame

awesome11:
I once saw an inspiring write-up on "what to do when one is
down" here. I can't figure the proper keywords to run a thread
search. Would appreciate it if anyone can send me the link to
the thread!!

Sorry, I like aproko. Are u feeling down? As regards the thread u're searching for, I don't know the thread but I think u can just type in the topic of the thread as u remembered it in the search box, who knows, it might come up among the search results

Medunah:
I'm always differed from others??

lolz.
Hi sis, looking good . Curious, do u check out wattpad?

Lolz, can't stop laughing. It's true tho, our house is kinda like a girl's hostel, so I never got to knw guys shit until one of my male cousins visited us, it was weird really, my funny young mind was like 'so boys also shit!'. Naturally, I don't find it easy urinating or pooing outside my home, unless I travel for an extended period, it's like a sensor in my brain, even on long journeys while everyone is busy urinating, I never feel the urge until I'm near where I feel comfortable.
Abeg OP ur list is nt complete, what of when in ur husband's house? Will all the forming continue?