₦airaland Forum

RealityShot:
I don't like to be rude, but: did you actually read any of the terms and conditions for sIMMFund?

It states clearly there that redemption is within 5 working days after WHICH you can then lay a complaint.

So why all these write ups about waiting 3days only?

Everything is working greatly on my account.
When I see a funny looking thing I call my account officer.. He clears it immediately.

I even transferred directly to the fund account last month and called him, he updated my account the next day.

I did online ATM card funding last week.. It went immediately and updated next day.

Stanbic MMF is very much OK.

PVC ACTIVATED
#BuhariItIs

I was actually waiting for this if you are a staff, please fix-up your services.

Thank God for your ability to read, oya come lets read it together. (See screenshot).

5 days is for Paper redemption, you can call their customer service to verify. If you are a staff, I am sure you know this already.

NB: Have a strong inbuilt bullshit detector. Never mistake an excuse with an explanation

Kzdguru:
Have had two redemption from investment one or is it Axa mansard, both made before 10am and credited by 8pm same day. I learnt that redemption made after 12pm will be credited the next day.
Cheers.

Just checked-out out Axa Mansard, looks transparent and promising.

Can someone who is familiar with them, please provide clarification on their “Annual Management fee”. I haven’t noticed such with StanbicIBTC, I won’t be surprised if its a hidden charge.

If money market trends and interest rates obtainable in the market go south, 1.5% Annual Management fee can be alot oo.

Is it just me or StanbicIBTC Money Market services are getting more deplorable by the day. This is second time in a row online redemption took beyond 3 business days and it was credited after spending several annoying minutes talking to customer-care.

I’m no longer going to add to this account (Of course i go still dey monitor am closely; in the past months i have noticed some “funny” activities on it).

House, please give me recommendations for a new Money Market account; I am thinking between One Investment, FBN & EDC fixed Income Fund. Any other suggestion is also welcome.

weyreypey:
I think Tonto dike is bipolar or has dementia...

Lool I really don’t care about “Celebs” and their lives but I have actually thought this about her too, everything is pointing to symptoms of bipolar.

We don’t know her personally, may God forgive us for being presumption sha.

.

DPR house of commotion

Lmao

Bhelamblog:
.......

Speaking to newsmen, one of the returnees, Ms Titilayo Kayode-Owojori, from Ile Ife, Osun who is pregnant regretted embarking on the ill-fated journey but thanked God for returning home safely.

She said:

“Nigeria is far better than where we thought we could get better lives. The Libyans live with the sweat of the blacks.

“If the Arabs see us working and collecting wages, they wait and burst our houses to collect the money. If they don’t see any money, they will kidnap us and ask us to call Nigeria to send us money to free ourselves. If we can’t raise money, we will be sold or imprisoned.”

Lol @ the bolded; Really!! you don’t say

I have always been #TeamNaija, I don’t see myself relocating permanently to any other country. When God has planted me in a land flowing with milk & honey

Beno3:
Taste and see that the Lord is good. You get luck sey dem no take your kidney and other vital organs.....

No mind the madam, The elders say “A trial will convince you”. After her thanksgiving on church. She had better go far and wide preaching about the goodness of our Land.

OnyeJombo:

This is kinda deep.

.

Guys still chase babes in 2018

Na wa, if she likes you she would vibe with you. Return missed calls and reply messages, if she doesn’t why waste so much energy time and resources that can be put into a productive business.

No be girls plenty for here

Do some girls even derive pleasure from be “Chased”. Stalked around, why not just tell the nigga “Guy, stop. I am not into you”. That na Psychological problem oo lol

I can’t chase you. I am a P!mp, I have a limp. I can’t run

martyns303:
One particular one stood out.
it was with a very big airline, we got to the "why do u want to work with us" line.

I started of by letting them know how they have been consistent over the years, becoming the largest airline within a short time frame. went on to tell them how I aspire to add value in whatever environment I find myself, made instance of how I was able to add value in my school, and I am talking about one of the best institution in the world. my speech was so perfect and well rehearsed, in my mind I was like "I have killed it".

One of the panel member out of nowhere just said "my friend, don't bullsh**t a bullsh*tter, do anyone else have any question for him", they all said No.

"That will be all, we'll get back out u"

I just sat there for like 5 seconds unable to move.

I am gonna conclude that you didn’t get job.

I can’t imagine the surprise on your face. That interviewer must have been the top-shot among them. He caught you off guard if not i’m sure you would have used the 5 seconds to set the records straight that you weren’t bullshitting anybody.

Thats why i always make it a point of duty to quickly identify the “Alpha” in the room and maintain good eye point with ‘em. Sorry bro.

freeze001:
New contract scam in the name of procuring new uniforms.

Hehehe You sabi as e dey go

generaliy:
6. Kitchen imbeciles:

Lmao

Mandrake007:
Open and insta page,beg for likes,follow the likes toke makinwa,laura ikeji,tonto dikeh,tboss,lauraikeji etc make sure you DM them for inspiration.

Post raunchy pics of yourself like cleavage,thigh pics,bikini pics(hope you don't have pimples on your bumbum)etc

on your insta bio,put up
Actress
Sapiosexual
God's child
For bookings and Sponsorship - YOUR NUMBER

Boom! your ministry is on the move.

Lmao You got the bolded spot-on.

No matter how raunchy her pictures are, she must post something about “God”. That is the finishing touch to an olosho’s social media profile

Brother your knowledge is vast

Our Ancestors would need something cold too

Ebuka007:
my brother which be dat cus I have been in the north for four years now nd everyday I see hausa kids begging for food, Notting dey for north if I get visa to Canada omo na movement.

Four years ke Na just service I go for there. Well compared to the expense, hustle and bustle of the South (Lagos); It was pretty mild. My PPA was a stone throw from my house and I had good accommodation.

I (you) can only enjoy living* in the North if there is massive cash flow coming in for me (you) every month (i.e i am moving trailers of Agricultural produces or a Job paying a salary comparable to Oil & Gas tins). Apart from the above, nothing fit make me comot from Lagos, go dey live there; I dey madt.

Mightyify:
Apart from cow meat, tomatoes, onions, yam.... what again are cheap?

Sweet potatoes, Sugar cane that year N50 worth of these food items you go chop till you tire.

I really enjoyed my service in the North though.

Op na wa to you. If you can get stew tins and cow meat cheap, wetin remain again

.

madridguy:
Reason you should always avoid away match as a guy.

RIP young dude

Exactly. Some boys chop excess liver to go play match for babe house; unknown territory

Akant. Boys play all deciding matches in your own stadium. Never play such matches at her place, her father fit get gun for house

The struggle is real. Oh Lord! save us from Karishika.

MhizzAJ:
The guy should just forgive her and let bygones be bygones

He should have attacked the randy guy that came to have sex with his girlfriend
It was just a mistake, afterall the boyfriend isn't a saint and must have cheated on her too
Who knows the boyfriend might not even be too good on bed

Lmao

This is funniest comment i have read today. An example of a mistake is when you are typing and you press “J” instead of “K” cuz they are so close to eachother .

This was an action so deliberate; initiation to performance. You call it a mistake.

When people show you who they are, believe them. Please lets call a hoe, a hoe.

NB: If this is truly your mentality, I am afraid. May God save us.

Painkila:
I used to be a one woman man, as long as I am in a relationship, there was no space in my heart for any other woman.I loved a girl so much and gave her everything, but she paid me back by cheating on me........

...... I only had space in my heart for only one girl at a time,but now my heart has been opened up for as many girls as possible, currently am rocking 6 girls and am treating them equally, no commitment, just sex and more sex.

Humans (women) create monsters and in turn complain about the monsters they have created.

Another Yoruba Demon has been born, a new addition to this extraordinary legion.

Sir Painkila, Arise! Let thy preys feel the wrath of thy mighty sword.

The comments above me.

I laugh in spiritual powers

Proverbs 7:19 - 23

19 My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon.”
21 With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose
23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life

Proverbs 11:22 - A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout.

Dear Lord, In your infinite kindness, Please hear my many prayers regarding my future marriage. Please give me a faithful wife; humble, full of love, wisdom and discretion. At this point I don’t even care what she looks like.

........

I wouldn't mind to have sex with my husband but begging him to is not an option!!

CorGier:
Did I hear her say demanding sex from her own husband is not an option? The ego on some ladies huh.

My brother wetin we never see with these our eyes. The source of some people’s problem dey look them korokoro but they always fail to knowledge it.

Reminds of a story about the woman that went to a herbalist asking for love portion that her husband doesn’t love her again. That her husband doesn’t even talk to her.

The lady was like a daughter to Baba, na so Baba think think think oo. Finally he gave her the “charm”, unknown to the woman; What Baba gave her was just an ordinary local version of Maggi.

Baba instructed that the woman must cook for her husband everyday and put small of the “charm” in the food. Then she must beg him and do everything to please him, so he eats her food everyday. Say the “charm” strong, say anyday wey her husband dey house and doesn’t eat her food gobe fit happen.

Na so the woman come back beaming with smile after one month say “Baba the charm work ehen”. Then Baba laughed and opened up say na ordinary local maggi i give you my daughter; oya go home and always treat your husband well and with respect.

NwaAmaikpe:


From the girl's submissive demeanor it is obvious he caught her cheating and went ballistic.

These girls just love to cheat.

He is handsome, he is sexy, he is tall, he is a star, he is rich...yet she chose to cheat on him.
Why
Why
Why are women so frigging heartless?

That was my first thought, I haven’t seen such calmness in the face of adversity before

But really he could have left her and gotten any other girl, no be girls plenty for here .

His action is just a waste of joules. Now she don end hin carry on-top

ogochukwu247:
Rosemary Okafor, 30, one of the suspects, confessed to selling one of her 4 children (Newborn baby) to one woman simply identified as Madam Pink at the cost of N350, 000. She said she sold the baby to be able to train the other three in school.

cc lalasticlala

This kinda news fills me with rage If a couple lacks financial means to adequately care for themselves talk-less of children, they shouldn’t bare children, yes none at all.

These kind of parents are grossly irresponsible, they don’t sit down to assess their finances. Struggle to barely feed themselves and their children, struggle to send them to school just to have their children lacking in one essential aspect of life or the other (clothing, upkeep etc); that is if education is on their agenda for the children.

These children didn’t ask to be born, why bring them to this world to suffer, this is wickedness. We should have stringent laws to deter such